No Bcs Lets Talk About It.

No bcs let’s talk about it.

Caleb McLaughlin once again having to address how poorly he’s treated in comparison with his white co-stars by the fan base is once again a reminder of how fucking ugly this fandom can be. The fact that Lucas is a main party member and has been since day one, has been shown having important arcs, important relationships, and has been extremely vital to the plot in every single season and yet receives far less fan attention than his white counterparts is still the reality four seasons in and there’s a reason for that.

It’s the same reason Erica gets ignored and abused by the fandom. The same reason Argyle has received 1/100th of the attention Eddie has and the reason Steddie is far more popular than Jargyle despite Jonathan and Argyle actually having a relationship (and I like Eddie and Steddie so don’t come at me I’m just saying). The same reason Billy still has an extremely devoted fan base who call him a sweet baby boi and write endless fics about him despite him canonically being a racist asshole who literally threatened Lucas’s life just because he was black. It’s the reason Caleb gets snubbed for awards despite some extremely phenomenal acting, especially in the S4 finale. (hint: it’s racism).

Anyway, Lucas and Caleb are amazing and deserve everything and I just think the ST fandom as a whole needs to be cognizant of how the (very few!) POC in the cast are treated.

"not all men" you're right, lucas sinclair would never treat me like this.

i’m unapologetically a mike defender

i beg someone please make a character ai bot based off of this in any possible way 🙏🏾

I- I just noticed Jackie is smoking at the party... I can't stop thinking about sharing a fag while making out. That would be so fuckin hot

Shauna is definitely rolling her eyes and snickering at the two, but finding it really hot

WHAT THE FUCK.......THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

she comes home late from practice and you can taste the cigarette on her tongue and lips when you make out...lighting up after hardcore sex (she did nothing but shes sooo tired she deserves it surely)

i need her so bad after finding this out like even more so.

this is amazing, chefs kiss even

'tis the damn season

Summary: “You hadn’t seen Nat since the two of you screamed at each other outside Lottie Matthews graduation party, but you can’t deny that you’ve missed her dearly. Long before she was your girlfriend she was your best friend, and when you're given the chance to hang out with her while you're home from college for the holidays you jump at the opportunity no matter how unique the circumstances. When the two of you have to work together to solve a surprising mystery, maybe a few truths about what really went down between you will be revealed along the way.”

December 23rd, 1996

You’ve been home from college for a grand total of 10 days before they’ve started to run together. You’ve been drifting in and out of sleep on the couch for the last few hours, Christmas movies playing quietly in the background. You're just on the edge of sleep when your mom walks up to shake you awake. You groan softly as you bury your head further into the cushion, but get up quick enough to give you a headrush when your mom tells you someone’s calling for you. Thank God, You think. You were dying of boredom. You’ve seen a lot of your high school friends since you’ve been back, but they all remind you of her. You still can’t gather the nerve to call the one you really want to talk to, so you're more than willing to accept the distraction the phone call provides.

You grab the receiver from the table and lean lazily against the wall as you answer. “Hey.”

“Hey,” You hear a familiar voice say.

“Lottie!” You greet happily, twisting the cord aimlessly around your finger as you speak. “Do you want to hang out later? I know we just saw each other the other day b-”

“I think someone's been following me,” Lottie interrupts quickly, sounding noticeably anxious. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise as you immediately straighten up. “Can you come get me? I don't want to be alone.” She asks pleadingly. 

“Absolutely,” You promise immediately. “Just let me get changed and I’ll be right there.” You exchange a quick goodbye as Lottie seems obviously distracted as you run to your room to change. 

What the fuck is happening? You wonder as you hurry out to your car.

You get a bad feeling as you drive to her house, but you do your best to ignore it as you break almost every traffic law known to man on the drive there. It’s ominously quiet as you pull up, her family home seeming somehow more imposing than usual. You shut the door of your car as you start walking up the driveway, only to be interrupted by a voice calling out your name. 

“Y/N?” Nat calls out in disbelief. You whirl around in surprise as you watch her standing at the base of the driveway. You bury your hands in your pockets to hide the way they shake with your nervousness. You weren’t prepared to see her today, not that you thought you ever would be. You exhale shakily as you look her up and down. She looks just as good as always, maybe even better than usual. Your eyes glance down at her nails, noticing their unusually bare state. You barely remember a time when they weren’t painted black, but maybe all things change over time.

She seems annoyed to see you, making you grin slightly at the familiar sight even if it’s never been directed in your direction before. You knew Nat was just as nervous to see you as you were to see her. You think you might know Nat better than you know yourself, or you did at one point. Your smile fades at the thought.

“What are you doing here?” You both ask at once. You laugh softly as you look down, catching the way Nat kicks nervously at the ground. The familiar sight of her boots fills you with confidence as you look back up at her.

“Lottie called me. Said someone was following her?” You say. Nat scoffs, raising a hand to run it messily through her hair.

“Said the same shit to me,” Nat complains. You glance up at Lottie’s house, suddenly getting suspicious. Lottie’s tried more than once to convince the two of you to start speaking again after you broke up, but her pleas always fell on deaf ears. You knew it must be awkward to be stuck in the middle of the two of you, but as much as you felt for Lottie’s predicament you thought manipulating you like this was too fucking far. Nat gives you a wry look as she follows your gaze, rolling her eyes as she turns and starts walking down the street.

“You're not going to make sure?” You ask.

Nat huffs. “It’s obvious what happened, isn’t it? Lottie not minding her own fucking business.”

You stare up at the house a little unsurely. “That doesn’t sound like Lottie.” You say, unable to stifle your concern. You and Nat catch each other's gaze for the first time in months, and you think you might miss her more 10 feet away from her than you ever have before. You suspect Nat feels the same as she quickly breaks your eye contact, looking uncharacteristically shy as she scuffs her boot against the ground.

“Yeah, well people change don’t they.” She accuses pointedly. You scoff, storming back up to your car. You weren’t sure what crawled up Nat’s ass all those months ago, but it's certainly still there.

“Go fuck yourself, Natty.” You jeer, throwing the door of your car open. You climb back in as you forget about whatever Lottie thought she was pulling as you turn your anger at Nat instead. You slam the door shut, resting your head against the steering wheel. You exhale slowly as you try to calm down. Nat’s always been able to get to you like this, even when no one else could. It’s one of the things you loved about her. Love about her, you admit even if only in the privacy of your own head.

You stare at her in the side mirror as she stands in the same place you left her in. She looks strangely guilty, but you know better than to expect an apology from her. Nat almost never apologized to anyone even if she thought she should, prideful to a fault. You used to be the one exception but you won't hold your breath anymore. You sigh quietly as you back out of the driveway around Nat. You roll your window down next to her as she stares expressionlessly at you. “Do you need a ride home?” She pauses for a second as she considers it, but slowly shakes her head. You nod easily, not bothering to fight her against it as you drive down the street. 

You don’t look back, no matter how much you want to. You miss the way she watches you all the way down the street; The way she watches you until you finally turn off the street, disappearing from view.

…

September 7th, 1986

Even now you remember how upset you were when your dad up and moved your entire family across the country right before you started the third grade. To New Jersey of all places. You weren’t really sure why moving to New Jersey was a bad thing, but your best friend Kaitlin had told you that her mother said it was. So in your mind, there was no place on Earth worse than New Jersey if even your best friend thought so. Thinking about your best friend only made you angrier knowing you wouldn’t get to see her again.

You were brooding the whole way to your desk, righteously angry in the way only an eight-year-old could be when you caught curious eyes looking up at you. You returned her curious look even as you moodily took your seat. There was something about her that caught your eye even then. You didn’t exchange a single word but you still felt a strange sense of comradery with her. You stormed off during recess to go angrily kick at the tree, deciding that that was a far better use of your time than sitting with someone from stupid New Jersey.

You're too far away to hear it at first, but it catches your attention as the catcalling gets louder. You see a couple kids surrounding your desk mate, obviously making fun of her. You weren’t sure what ‘trailer trash’ meant, but it was obvious by the look on her face that she knew. You weren’t sure even now what caused you to storm over there and grab the ringleader by the back of the shirt and whirl him around. Maybe you were angry and he just happened to be there, or maybe you knew even then how important Nat would be to you. You slammed your little fist into his cheek, sending him sprawling to the ground in surprise. 

He starts crying loudly, immediately garnering the attention of your teacher who starts walking over from across the playground. You stare down at your hand in surprise: You’d never been particularly violent before and hadn’t realized it was going to hurt your hand this much. A pale hand reaches out and grabs you, turning your wrist over so she can see your red knuckles. She grins toothily up at you, her grin slightly crooked. “I’m Nat.” She says.

“Y/N.” You say, a little teary-eyed from the pain. You smile back weakly as your teacher drags you away from them and to the office. You don’t get in nearly as much trouble as you should considering it’s your first day, but you certainly wouldn’t complain. You get sent back just in time for lunch, looking around unsurely until you see Nat waving you over. You practically skip over to take your seat next to her. You talk for the rest of lunch and hold hands on the way back to class. From that moment on you were inseparable. 

Maybe New Jersey wouldn't be as bad as Kaitlin said.

…

December 24th, 1996. 

You stare guiltily down at the phone as you get Lottie’s answering machine for the third time in a row. You were positive that Lottie was just setting you and Nat up, but the longer she went without calling you back the more worried you became. Certainly, it wouldn’t hurt if you just stopped by just in case, right? You set the phone back down on the receiver as you exhale shakily, unable to calm your racing heart. You try to shake it off as you walk out to your car Maybe you were less sure about Lottie being okay than you thought. You would just stop by her house and yell at her a bit, and then you could guilt her into watching your favorite movie and everything would be just fine. Still, your hands shake the entire drive there.

You walk purposely up the drive, pulling your jacket tighter around you in an effort to fight the cold. You knock firmly on Lottie’s door as you shiver on the porch. The longer you go without an answer the more frantic you knock until you're banging your fists against Lottie’s door. “Y/N!” Nat calls out, making you whirl around in surprise. You don’t even want to imagine what you look like right now, how wild and crazed your expression must look, as you quickly walk towards Nat.

“Have you…” You both start, trailing off as you realize Nat hasn’t spoken to Lottie either.

“I’ve been banging on her door for the last five minutes and she hasn’t answered.” You say nervously, glancing back at Lottie’s empty-looking house. You look at Nat in disbelief as she reaches around you to try the door handle, finding it locked. “If only I would have thought of that.” You snark. Nat shrugs, holding her hands up placatingly as she spins around and starts walking around the side of the house. 

You reluctantly walk after her, watching curiously as she tries all of the ground-floor windows. You end up back at the front door after fruitlessly trying every window and the backdoor. You sigh as you start looking around for a fake-looking rock or something. You catch Nat giving you a curious look out of the corner of your eye. “Maybe they have one of those hidden keys or whatever?” You suggest, squatting down to look closer at the welcome mat.

“Oh shit, you’re right,” Nat says wryly. “I found it.” You grin widely as you stand back up, backing up so she can unlock the door. Your eyes widen in horror as Nat smashes the glass of the front door with a heavy-looking rock she found on the ground. You stare down at the rock on the floor of Lottie’s living room in disbelief, slowly turning your head to look at Nat. Nat shrugs, looking proud of her little joke, as she carefully reaches through the newly installed hole in the door to unlock it from the inside. The two of you step over broken glass as you trudge your way up the stairs, heart jumping further and further up your throat the longer your presence goes without answer.

You step into Lottie’s room behind Nat, finding it just as empty as the rest of the house. “Maybe she just went out?” Nat suggests, seeming as if she doesn’t believe it herself.

“She always gives her driver Christmas off.” You say anxiously

“Maybe she walked?”

“Without her shoes?” You gesture to Lottie’s favorite pair of shoes lying by the door. “Without her purse?”

Nat nods stiffly as she dumps Lottie’s purse out on the bed, riffling through the contents hoping to find something indicating her location. You exit Lottie’s room and check the rest of her house as quickly as you can, still finding no sign of her. You catch Nat waiting for you outside of the room, staring anxiously at you as you shake your head. The lack of Lottie’s presence combined with the panicked phone call you received the other day paints a disturbing picture. Judging by the look of concern on Nat’s face you can tell she feels the same.

You quickly make your way back downstairs, making a beeline for the phone as you race to call the police. You tell the story to the officer, taking great care to leave the breaking and entering out much to Nat’s quiet amusement. There’s a long moment of silence after you finish and you hear the officer take in a shaky breath as he says, “Are you sure she didn’t just run away? She’s an adult, you know.” You scoff, immediately drawing Nat’s attention as she leans in closer trying to listen in.

“Lottie wouldn’t just run away like that, especially after that phone call she made.” You immediately refute, not even humoring the idea. Nat starts to nod in agreement, wincing halfway through as she realizes he can’t actually see her.

“Look.” He says, voice sounding annoyed. “There’s nothing we can do until she's gone 48 hours, and you're going to have a hell of a time getting someone to come out there on Christmas to look for her.” You’re almost positive he had more to say, but you slam the phone back down on the receiver so hard you're surprised it didn’t crack. You look over at Nat teary-eyed as you try pointlessly to blink away your tears. She instinctively draws you into her arms, wrapping them tightly around you just like she always has. You freeze in her arms, not having the luxury of muscle memory to explain it away. You bury your head in her shoulder anyway, soaking up any comfort offered to you in your moment of need.

Nat tenses up as she becomes aware of her position, but she still holds you tightly until you get yourself calm again. You clear your throat as you pull away from her, wiping the lingering tears away with your hand. Nat shifts her weight from foot to foot as she looks anywhere in the room but directly at you. You can’t help but laugh at the pure awkwardness of the situation, and Nat quickly joins you. When your laughter finally dies off the two of you share a look as you seem to come to a mutual agreement. If they wouldn’t look for Lottie, it seems that you’d have to do it yourselves.

…

December 27th, 1992

You’d rushed your mom into going to pick Nat up the second your extended family fucked back off to their own houses, feeling like you were going through withdrawal from not seeing your best friend for so long. Nat had come running down the street to meet you, equally as excited to see you. She’s been enraptured by your new gameboy and you were all too happy to let her play around with it. Nat lies back on your bed focusing intently as she frantically presses buttons. You sit next to her watching fondly as she gets her ass kicked at Tetris again. “Fuck!” She curses, a moody look on her face as she sets it down on the nightstand. Your face twitches in amusement trying desperately not to laugh, but Nat gives you a dirty look anyway as she crosses her arms over her chest.

You reach over her to grab it off the nightstand, giving her a smug look as you turn it back on. “I’ll show you a master at work.” You tease. Nat scoffs but dutifully looks over your shoulder as you play. Her mood gets more and more sour the longer you play as you blow her score out of the water. She puts her hand on your leg to support her weight as she leans closer to watch the small screen more carefully. You tense slightly as you try to pretend it doesn’t make you nervous that she’s close enough that you can almost feel her breath against you. You weren’t sure when you’d developed a crush on your best friend, but you desperately wished it would stop. The two of you had only gotten closer since high school had started a few months ago and your weird responses to Nat were only getting more noticeable as time went on.

You nearly breathe a sigh of relief as you finally reach the cap of your skill level and lose the game. Nat hums as she leans back away from you, crossing her legs underneath herself as she looks at you. “You’ve had more practice.” She accuses, ever the sore loser. You shrug in acceptance even though you haven’t actually started this game yet, being much more concerned with playing Super Mario Land. What Nat didn’t know certainly wouldn’t hurt you.

“If you say so, Natty.” You grin in anticipation, knowing what’s coming.

“Don’t call me that!” She grumbles immediately as she gives you a weak glare.

“Since when are you too cool to be my Natty?” You tease. Nat flushes slightly, pale cheeks going bright red as she turns away from you. One of your favorite things about Nat was the way she would blush to her ears at the slightest embarrassment, though you figured she probably couldn’t help it.

“Shut up.” She mutters. You concede easily as you start a new game. Nat glances up at sees you’re playing again.

“You’ve had enough practice,” Nat complains, reaching to grab it out of your hand. You move it further out of her reach as you grin playfully at her. You’ve lost interest in the game itself, much more interested in her desire to play it herself. You wiggle it just out of her reach as you taunt her with it. She scoffs and lunges at you so fast that she reaches you before you even realize she’s moved. Nat catches you by surprise as she overshoots and sends the both of you sprawling to the ground.

You groan breathlessly as the fall knocks the air out of your lungs. Nat hisses in pain as she rubs at her knee that she banged against the ground. As you catch your breath your eyes go wide as you realize the position you’ve found yourselves in. Nat lies fully on top of you with her arm still stretched fruitlessly out over your shoulder. You’ve got one hand trapped between the two of you, and the other stretched up still keeping the Gameboy out of her reach. Nat groans as she slowly shifts up to her knees, leaving her straddling you. Your breath gets caught in your throat for a different reason as you look up at her, Gameboy more than forgotten.

Nat’s got a strange look on her face as she looks down at you, her eyes fixating on your lips. 

“Hey.” She murmurs shyly, trying to gauge your mood.

“Hey.” You murmur back, slowly raising your now-freed hand to her cheek. She gives you a crooked grin as she leans down to kiss you for the first time, but certainly not the last.

…

December 24th, 1996. 

The longer you’ve been driving around town the more you realize just how much of Wiskayok reminds you of Nat. There’s nowhere you’ve looked for Lottie that you don’t associate with memories of Nat, no matter how weak the connection may be. With a town this small it’s hard to escape from anyone no matter how much you want to. During the awful few weeks between when you and Nat broke up and when you left for college, you found yourself almost haunted by the sheer amount of memories you were unable to separate her from. It almost makes you feel a little bad for her, knowing she has to live in them all the time.

As you pull up to the stop sign you can’t help but grin at the site of the old playground. Nat smiles slightly at the sight, turning her head to better get a look at it. It hasn’t aged well, the dilapidated wood and peeling paint not doing it any favors, but that’s not the important part. This mess of rotting wood and rusted swings holds some of your fondest memories, all of them involving Nat. “Do you remember,” You start, but Nat soon interrupts.

“The time when we pushed Jackie down the slide when she wasn’t ready?” She says with a wide grin.

You laugh loudly at the memory, nodding in agreement. “We had to spend the rest of recess running away from Shauna.” You reminisce fondly.

“God, she was fucking fast.” Nat comments.

“She was Princess Jackie’s loyal defender. No one could doubt her prowess.” You add, knowing it would get under Nat’s skin. Nat had always loved pretending to be Princess Lottie’s knight as a kid, always dragging you into it even though you’d rather be on the swings. Lottie and Jackie would sit up on the swings watching the rest of you duke it out for their amusement. Nat and Shauna had often gotten into mock battles as kids that Nat always seemed to lose by herself, no matter how hard she tried. Eventually, she always dragged you into it so she could win, uncaring of the way Shauna and Jackie would accuse her of cheating. Nat wasn’t one to play fairly as a kid, even if she later grew out of it.

Nat scoffs, turning fully in her seat to face you again. You turn your blinker on innocently, watching her fume out of the corner of your eye as you finally let your foot off the break. “Just because she was willing to bite people doesn’t mean she was a better knight than me.” Nat defends with just a hint of a pout. “She was ruthless.”

“Of course. Could you find it in your heart to forgive me Sir Scatorccio?” You tease. Nat grins, chest puffing up in an imitation of pride.

“Don’t doubt me again.” She warns playfully. 

You pull into the gas station to fill up your car, finally coming to the bright idea of trying to call any of Lottie’s other friends to see if she was with any of them. You fiddle with your loose chain for a minute, pulling out a handful of quarters as you head to the phone booth. Nat looks slightly impressed at the idea, following you over and leaning against the wall next to you as you begin dialing.

You roll your eyes as Nat's shivers start turning into shaking as she stubbornly crosses her arms against the cold. You shift your shoulder up to keep the phone pressed against your ear as you start rummaging around your pocket for your keys. Your fingers are numb enough that you nearly drop them as you get them out, flailing slightly with your hands as you finally manage to get a grip on them. You hold them out to Nat by your car key and point her toward the backseat. She gives you a confused look as she mouths the word what, careful not to interrupt your conversation. 

You cross your arms over your chest as you mimic being cold, and point back at your car. Her eyes widen slightly as she looks over, slowly walking up to the car and looking in the backseat. She gives you an unreadable look as she pulls out her favorite of your jackets and slips it over her shoulders; The jacket you always kept in the backseat for her because she constantly forgot to bring a thicker one. Nat zips it up as she leans against the car with her arms crossed against her chest. She doesn’t say anything, but you know her well enough to know by the small twitch of her lips that she’s a little pleased it’s still there. You turn further into the phone booth to hide a grin of your own, though it slowly falls as Shauna confirms that she and Jackie hadn’t seen Lottie either. 

You hang up the phone as you turn to face Nat, slowly shaking your head as you walk over. Nat’s face falls, a slightly stricken look taking its place. You’ve called basically everyone that Lottie knows, and still nothing. Honestly, you were starting to give up hope that you’d be able to find Lottie anytime by yourselves but you weren’t quite ready to admit it yet. “What now?” You ask Nat. She shrugs, pulling the jacket tighter around her. “We could try driving around, I guess?” You prompt, but she just shrugs again.

You scoff as you run your fingers frustratedly through your hair. “Nothing to say, Nat? That seems to be a common problem.” You accuse.

She scoffs as she pushes herself off the car to get in your face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Y/N?” Nat asks gruffly.

You stare her down unafraid: Nat was generally all talk as far as you were concerned. “Just that your inability to communicate hasn’t changed while I was gone.” You knew damn well that you were blowing her little shrug out of proportion, but you’d been holding on to this anger longer than you’d care to admit.

“You seriously want to do this right now?” She asks, throwing her arms out dramatically to gesture around.

“When else are we going to do it, Nat? Why won’t you ever just fucking talk to me?” You spit out frustratedly. The two of you stare each other down for a long moment before Nat seems to deflate. She turns away and storms off to the car, sitting down and slamming the door behind her.

You take a minute to calm down before climbing back in the car yourself. You start the car without even looking at her, knowing you’d only make yourself angry again. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Nat says quietly.

“Sure. Whatever.” You say simply, pulling out of the gas station as you get back to looking for Lottie. You hope you find her soon: both because you’re worried about her, and so you can get away from Nat once and for all. If she wanted to be stubborn she could be stubborn, you were sick and tired of trying to reach out to her only to get shot down. If she wants to be miserable and alone so badly, who are you to stop her? You fume in silence.

…

June 18th, 1996

Your smile is a little strained as you walk up to your girlfriend, a little hesitant about what her mood is going to be like. You weren’t sure what was up with Nat recently, but she’d really been worrying you. Her mood was prone to change on a dime and she was more emotional than you’ve ever seen her. The closer you got to her the more sour her expression looked. Fucking great, You thought wryly. You held her cup out for her and she accepts it without comment, throwing her head back and drinking it in one gulp. Your eyes widen as you slowly sip at your own drink, taking your place leaning against the tree next to her as you watch the rest of the party.

Neither of you had really wanted to come out to the party tonight, but you knew that Lottie’s graduation party was one of the last times you and your friends would all be in the same place at the same time. Normally you’d just assume not wanting to be here is what has her so annoyed, but she had seemed perfectly happy when she was talking to Lottie earlier. You haven’t much liked how insecure Nat was making you feel lately, but you were going to wait until things calmed down a bit to bring it up. There was so much going on with school ending that you haven’t had the chance to bring it up.

You tentatively lean your head against Nat’s shoulder, feeling the way her body tenses underneath you. You sigh quietly as you decide to leave Nat to her own brooding, pushing off the tree as you begin to walk away. She stops you in your tracks with a hand wrapped loosely around your wrist, gently spinning you around. 

“We need to talk,” Nat says seriously, an unreadable expression on her face. You glance around the party to make sure no one’s close enough to hear you before you respond.

“You want to do it here?” You ask in disbelief. Nat shrugs, fingertips tapping rhythmlessly against her cup. “Fine, Nat. I don’t like how distant you’ve been lately.” You say firmly, still questioning Nat’s decision to hash this out in the middle of the party. She scoffs derisively.

“I haven’t been distant.” Nat refutes, “You’ve just been so fucking clingy.” Your eyes go wide in shock. Never in your entire life has Nat spoken to you like this.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” You ask in disbelief, your voice getting louder with each word until you're practically yelling at her. You can tell the parties almost come to a stop around you but you can’t bring yourself to care.

“I said,” Nat continues as her voice rises to meet yours, “That you’ve been all over me recently! You won’t even let me breathe without commenting on it.” As angry as you are you can’t help but glance nervously around the party as the comment gets a little too close to revealing the nature of your relationship. Lottie seems to be corralling everyone into the house and smiles awkwardly when you give her a grateful look.

“Don’t act like I’m being crazy, Nat! You’ve been pulling away from me and you know it!” You accuse pointedly.

“Maybe I’m just getting tired of doing the same old thing all the time!” Nat yells back.

“Oh? Am I boring you now?” You ask mockingly. “Poor Natty and her boring little girlfriend, huh?”

“We’ve been doing the same damn thing since we were kids! You can’t tell me it isn’t getting old!” Nat shoots back.

Your face falls as you stare back at her with an undeniably hurt look on your face. “Getting old?” You ask quietly as if you’d lost all of the fire you’d had a minute ago with just one remark. Nat nods solemnly, looking down at the floor so that she doesn’t have to look you in the eyes.

“I think we should break up.” Nat rushes out as if she’s ripping a bandaid off.

“Break up?” You ask quietly, almost in disbelief.

“We’ve been growing apart,” Nat says simply as if that’s the only reason she needs to break up your four-year relationship. As if that’s the only reason she needs to walk away from your 10-year-old friendship.

“We’re different people. We grow apart all the time Nat, but we always come back together. That’s what we do.” You can barely get it out, so desperate that it verges on a whisper.

“Not this time,” Nat says sadly, shaking her head.

You focus on her chipped black nail polish as you try not to cry. You’d done it for her, you always have ever since you were kids; Nat never had the patience to do it herself, always getting nail polish all over her fingers as she impatiently tried to rush through it. You still remember the first time she’d asked fondly, Nat sheepishly handing you the bottle of dime-store black nail polish you’d picked up for her. It's been a while since she asked you to do it, but you don’t think you were truly aware of just how long it’s been until now. You wonder how long she’s been planning on breaking up with you; Was she thinking about how to let you down easy while you were scheming on how to sneak her into your dorm room? Was she grinning along at your idea of regularly scheduled calls while knowing in the back of her mind that she'd never make them? 

You think the worst part is the premeditation of it all. Had she just sprung it on you that would be one thing, but it's clear from her moods and the way she's speaking that she's been practicing this conversation. It stings more than you thought it would, not that you'd ever imagined the two of you breaking up. Nat was your person, she always has been ever since you moved here. You barely remember a time before her, and now you're going to have to live without her?

“Fuck you.” You choke out, turning around and storming off deeper into the party as you try to wipe away your tears. You miss the way Nat’s hand twitches after you as if she's resisting the urge to stop you. You never see the look of regret on Nat’s face that remains long after you disappear from view.

…

December 24th, 1996. 

Your bad mood lasts long after the moment passes, still looking around as you drive off to the last place you can think of that Lottie might go to. Misty was the only one who hadn’t answered the phone, and while you're doubtful that Lottie would go there willingly you still hoped that at the very least Misty would be able to help you find her. Misty always seemed to know things that everyone else didn’t, even when you were children.

The two of you drive in a slightly uncomfortable silence broken only by the sound of your blinker as you navigate your way across town. The longer you drive the more you notice the way Nat’s eyes always seem to dart away just as you have to look in her direction. Her gaze is a little unnerving now, even if it never used to be. “What is it?” You ask finally, growing tired of her little game.

“What are you talking about?” Nat deflects immediately, too soon to be anything but suspicious. You sigh, pulling your car off to the side of the road as you decide to confront her.

“You’re staring.” You accuse gently, giving Nat a curious look.

“So what? You look nice.” She admits with a shrug as if it isn’t a big deal. You can’t help but grow a little angry at the admission, your face twisting as a result of your mood. Nat’s eyes widen as she tries to mentally review what she could have done to upset you.

“I look nice?” You ask dangerously. Nat nods unsurely, feeling like she’s walking into a trap. “You like my outfit?” Nat nods again, fingers tapping anxiously against her thighs. “You don’t think it’s too boring?” Nat winces at the reminder, immediately turning to look out the window as she finds herself unable to meet your eyes. You scoff at the uncharacteristic display of cowardice. You aren’t sure what changed with Nat, but you desperately wished she’d get over it. You’d forgive her in a second if she just bothered to ask you for it.

“I don’t think you’re boring,” Nat says, leaning her head against the window as she looks at you.

“Change your mind so soon? It seemed pretty important a few months ago.” You remark bitterly, stuffing your hands in your pockets in an attempt to fight the cold creeping in.

“Well you’re so worldly now, aren’t you?” Nat jokes weakly, “With your college education and your cool new friends.”

You give Nat a weird look. “I’ve been at college for one semester, Nat.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’ve got those college girls lined up down the hall right?” Nat says with a strained smile. You shrug listlessly.

“Haven’t really been interested in dating.” 

Nat’s fingers clench into a fist as she stares down at her lap. “You haven’t… Haven’t wanted to be with anyone else?”

You sigh. “Not really, Nat. They’re not…” You trail off as you try to search for the right words, but can’t seem to find any that fit. “They’re not what I want.” You say finally.

Nat inhales sharply at the admission, looking strangely angry as she stares up at you. “No one? No one at all?” She asks.

“What are you going on about?” You ask her annoyedly. “It’s not like it’s any of your business, Nat. Not anymore.”

Nat deflates at the comment, hands unclenching as she leans back in her seat. She looks devastated as she stares over at you, seemingly lost in a way that you haven’t seen since her dad died. “It was for nothing, then?” She asks, quiet enough that you don’t think you were supposed to hear her.

“What was?”

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” Nat admits quietly. You stare at her in shock as you contemplate what she’s just said. Out of all the self-sacrificing bullshit she could have pulled, this is what she decided on? You’d be angrier if it didn’t make you so fucking sad at the thought of it; Leave it to Nat to break both of your hearts because she was being self-deprecating again.

“You broke up with me to do me a favor? Is that it?” You demand bitterly.

“You're leaving this fucking town, Y/N. You didn’t need me to drag you down with me.” You roll your eyes at her excuse– because that’s all it was, an excuse. Not even a particularly good one, certainly not the truth.

“Since when do we lie to each other, Nat? You started at the party and can't seem to bring yourself to stop can you?” You accuse.

Nat mirrors your look of anger as she stares you down in return. Nat was always too stubborn for her own good, always getting herself into trouble because of it. The longer you sit in heated silence the more Nat seems to calm down, until finally she sighs as she looks at you defeatedly. 

“What was I supposed to offer you?” She asks softly.

You give her a questioning look as you feel like you’re finally making some progress, eyes widening at the sight of tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. She clears her throat pointedly as she wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand in an attempt to erase the evidence of her outburst. “You were going across the state to all those smart girls that you can talk nerd shit to.” She offers weakly, “I was afraid you were leaving me behind.”

“You were afraid I was going to break up with you, so you broke up with me first?” You ask in confusion.

“I didn’t think you’d break up with me.” She admits. “I was worried you’d resent me for it.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me about it, Natty? Like adults?”

She laughs wetly, giving you a wry grin. “I wasn’t exactly self-aware about it when I did it. Honestly, Lottie was the one who told me about it.” You snicker, running your hand through your hair as you look at her fondly.

“Lottie does seem to have a sixth sense for these kinds of things.” You admit with a small smile. You stare at her for a long moment as you consider it in your head. Nat hurt you pretty bad, but she’s always been bad with her emotions. You don’t think she meant to be as malicious as she was, but the fact of the matter is that it still happened. “I need you to say it.”

She tilts her head in confusion before her eyes widen in realization. “Oh.” She murmurs quietly, sitting up straight as she gives you her full attention. “I was being stupid, and I’m really sorry about it.”

You hum teasingly, tilting your head to the side with a playful grin on your face. “I don’t think I’m feeling it.” You say.

Nat smirks as she holds her hands together in front of her as if she was begging. “Please, oh please could you ever find it in yourself to forgive me?” She pleads, sticking her lip out in an exaggerated pout. She’s playing along because you want her to, but you can see how relieved she looks. You sigh dramatically, never able to resist matching her energy.

“I think I just might.” You say, serious even in your playful tone. Nat nods, ever-present smirk never leaving her face for a second. You watch as her eyes slowly lower to your lips, tilting her head in question.

You lean in close to her so that your lips are just centimeters apart. “We should talk some more, later.” You murmur seriously. She hums in acknowledgment and you finally allow yourself to close the distance, meeting her in a gentle kiss. You’ve missed the way she felt, the way her lips moved against you. You pull back to speak again, but Nat just follows along as she refuses to let you break away from her again. She’s nearly straddling you as she leans over the center console, stretching unsteadily to reach you as you keep backing your head up. You wince as you smack your head against the window, Nat finally pulling away to laugh at your expense. You mock her laugh in a high-pitched voice which only serves to set her off further. You roll your eyes at the sight, but can’t help the warm feelings it brings. Maybe there was such a thing as 

Christmas magic, but then again it was still the 24th.

Oh shit. You think. You smack Nat gently on the arm. She rubs at it exaggeratedly as she gives you an offended look.

“Lottie.” You remind her.

“Oh shit,” Nat exclaims, pulling away so she can put her seatbelt back on. “Here’s hoping Quigley has the answer.” She mutters, not sounding excited in the slightest.

…

December 24th, 1996. 

You stand with Nat outside of Misty’s door as both of you trade imploring looks back and forth trying to get the other to knock. You’d usually bring out old reliable by now, rock paper scissors, but neither of you was willing to let go of the other’s hand to do it. Nat finally seems to give in, rolling her eyes as she raises her free hand to knock, but the door swings open before her fist can meet the wood to reveal Misty’s wild smile.

“Hi, guys!” Misty greets happily, gasping in excitement as her eyes land on your interlocked hands. She claps her hands together excitedly as she invites you in. “I’m so glad that you’ve gotten back together!” 

You and Nat exchange slightly panicked looks as it wasn’t exactly common knowledge. You look wide-eyed at Misty and she seems to catch on to this. “Oh,” Misty says with a touch of awkwardness, pushing her glasses further up her nose. “You notice a lot of things as the equipment manager.” She nods as if that’s a super obvious and normal thing to say as she leads you further into her house. You nod unsurely in agreement, utterly unconvinced but not wanting to further push the issue when you need her help. You like Misty well enough, but she has a troubling habit of knowing things about you that you don’t necessarily want her to. Still, you figure that there’s no one better to go to in a crisis.

“Thanks for inviting us in, Misty. We just wanted to know if you know anything-” You start, but are quickly interrupted by Nat.

“Holy shit!” Nat exclaims, pointing at the couch. You stare dumbfounded at a bound Lottie sitting on the couch. Her hands are tied in front of her with a tie as she sips at a mug of hot chocolate. Lottie raises one of her hands slightly in greeting as she shoots Misty a supremely annoyed look. “What the fuck?” Nat asks.

You let go of Nat’s hands as you try to free Lottie but find yourself unable to untie the knot. You look back at Misty who grins over at you. “Oh.” Misty murmurs, walking over and untying Lottie in one quick movement. You watch the tie slide loosely down Lottie’s arms, still not entirely sure how Misty untied it in the first place. Nat walks over to stand behind you, shooing Misty away. Misty makes an offended noise as she starts protesting but you’ve decided to ignore it as you look down at Lottie.

“Were you in on it?” You ask in concern. Lottie shakes her head, shooting an annoyed glare at a still protesting Misty.

“Do you seriously need to ask that?” Lottie asks, rolling her eyes. “She showed up at my house and the next thing I know I’m tied up in her house.” You eye Misty wearily as Nat still fights off her attempts to talk to either of you.

“Let’s just go home,” Lottie says, slightly pleading as she rubs at her wrists. She doesn’t seem all that worse for wear, more annoyed than anything at the ordeal.

“Shouldn’t we like… Call the cops or something?” You ask unsurely. Lottie raises an eyebrow in question as she looks at you.

“And tell them what? She fed me three meals a day and hasn’t left a mark on me. As far as the cops are concerned we could have been having a sleepover.” Lottie remarks, glancing back over at Misty.

Nat’s looking back and forth between Lottie and Misty with a look of disbelief on her face. “Are we seriously jus-” She starts.

“Yes,” Lottie says, setting her mug on the table and standing up. Misty sitting down on the couch opposite you after she gave up on trying to get past Nat. She looks frustrated as she looks between the three of you as if she doesn’t understand why you could possibly be upset with her.

“I was helping you!” Misty defends. “I brought you back together!” Misty pouts slightly as she looks at you.

You open your mouth to speak, unsure of what you could even say at this moment but Nat beats you to it.

“Thanks, Misty,” Nat says sarcastically, giving her a little wave. The two of you follow Lottie out the door, relieved to finally get out of there.

“Are you like… good?” Nat asks Lottie in concern. “I could still go back in there.”

Lottie sighs as she slumps back against your car. “It was fine, I guess. As far as kidnappings go.” She pauses as if deep in thought. “She just kept playing movie musicals.” She shivers in horror, glancing up at Misty’s house in remembered terror. Nat pats her shoulder sympathetically, also shivering in horror at the thought. You watch the scene in silent disbelief, shaking your head as you unlock the doors to your car. 

“What took you guys so long, anyway?” Lottie asks curiously as she buckles her seatbelt. You meet Nat’s eyes in the rearview mirror, both of you looking guilty and slightly panicked. Lottie takes one look at the two of you and gasps in offense.

“You stopped to make out while I was missing?” She scoffs but looks slightly amused anyway as she shakes her head. 

The drive to Lottie’s house is mostly spent in silence as she stares contemplatively out the window. You and Nat keep exchanging teasing glances in the rearview mirror and you're almost positive she’s coming home with you later. You pull into Lottie’s driveway to let her out but suddenly remember that you’ve busted her door. “Uh, Lottie.” You start, pointing at the door. “We kind of br-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lottie mutters, pinching at the bridge of her nose. She turns to look at you looking uncharacteristically small in your passenger seat. “Would you spend the night?” She asks quietly. Your face falls slightly at the question but you immediately acquiesce. You and Nat could always hang out another time, you suppose. 

Lottie grins as she opens the car door. “It’s a big house, don’t let me get in your way. Just wait till I’m asleep, yeah? The least you could do for busting my door.” Nat scoffs and immediately starts arguing the necessity of it as you walk up the steps to her front door. 

You’ve missed this. 

…

December 25th, 1996. 

“It’s finally snowing.” You murmur as you turn your head to stare out the window.

“Yeah?” Nat asks quietly against your neck, the feeling of her hot breath making you shiver. She shifts against you to prop herself up on her elbow as she peers out the window over your body. “About time.” She says.

She looks you up and down with a smug grin making you roll your eyes. “Again?” You ask fondly.

She shrugs, incorrigible as always. “It’s been a while.” Nat teases. “Won’t you warm me up?”

“You’d be warmer if you put your clothes back on.” You point out playfully but lean in to kiss her anyway.

THATS MY SHAUNA SHIPMAN BOT OH MY GOD??

Do you have any other yellowjackets bot recommendations 😔 there aren't many good ones (Besides yours, holy fuck.)

My personal favs!! 🙏

Lottie Matthews - https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=_wY0X_MZ8rU4kai4eCt2jp7aPP8WzNffpWFQ9RkiIQ4 , https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=kK_anqI3JSbvjjoGyzULRcxA4WmmKsm9vI_1RcEZ-sA , https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=cQeTlB-N6hlvJLp8XkZU21lAolv_KwUKWSuaAmoTatU , https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=nA51u3FXFq7Ci4my-7p2u6FgwD9JIYtD8zLsQRa_ey8

Natalie Scatorccio - https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=Gh7iazOgCDZXKnQJf0Yk0FQbFaOR5862sdzJig41d0w , https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=kPkEhdmU53gv5DocvO8kHUf49vkXq-St6IRx3D9b8lI , https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=YMJi6o6TTHAlVOba1e5puGYoJtEFdnpCy7R2ToKeVko

Shauna Shipman - https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=RQvFdHRumnax4lSScDlBAFd5eShasUdh-ZCqbma_ra4 (Not very many for her ☹️)