Criticalsexualitytheories - Untitled

Guess what? You cant separate race from homophobia when over 80 percent of its victims are people of color.

fuck anyone who says porn/bdsm culture isnt a huge problem- in the last few months, i’ve been choked (hard enough to pop blood vessels in my face), slapped, and scratched hard enough that the marks didn’t disappear for days. All of these things happened on first dates or the first time I went home with a person, and it was always without asking (obviously or i would have told them to fuck off). The closest thing to asking permission that I got was from one guy, who after slapping me across the face asked “was that okay?” 

people argue that hardcore pornography and bdsm fetishes stay in the bedroom, that there’s a difference between violence in porn and violence in reality, but thats bullshit. Men are so okay with (and turned on by) hitting women that they dont even think they have to ask

my favorite thing is when someone insists The Discourse isnt about shaming and policing women's sexuality, while at the same time using the word "fujoshi", which was coined to shame and police women's sexuality. (i forget if you said this in your post on the subject but it doesnt even refer to just BL fans, but any woman who openly expresses sexual attraction to male characters)

(here’s the post where I talked about ‘yaoi’ and ‘fujoshi’ being adopted as pejoratives in colloquial English-speaking forums.)

it’s also my favorite thing. 8)

(side note about gender stuff:

 ‘fujoshi’ is a gendered word in Japan that refers to women (and, though I’m not familiar with Japanese LGBTQ spaces, possibly people who don’t identify as a woman but relate to ‘fujoshi’ anyway.) positive usage of ‘fujoshi’ as a badge of honor for BL fans is specific to this gendered usage, with ‘fundashi’ being adopted by men (etc).

‘fujoshi’ as a pejorative in English-speaking spaces still carries this gendered connotation, but is aimed at anyone who isn’t able to be an mlm: literally anyone who isn’t a man, and often at anyone who isn’t a cis man. (and yes, the implication is that if you’re not a cis man, you’re a woman. and yes, that’s accidentally-on-purpose.)

b/c ‘fujoshi’ as a pejorative is aimed so widely in English-speaking fandom I’ll be using ‘non-(cis)men’ most of the time to refer to its targets in this post.  however, gender is VERY complicated and I realize that this post may not properly capture all gender identities affected here. I am doing my best and am open to concrit.)

Now I get that there’s some confusion over the use of ‘fujoshi’. It didn’t really reach English-speaking spaces until Japanese fen picked the word up and turned it into a badge of honor; before that, it was a derogatory word coined by 2chan (Japan’s 4chan. 2chan inspired 4chan.) as a result, some people unironically use ‘fujoshi’ to refer to themselves/BL fans in a positive way, and I can see a positivity post using ‘fujoshi’ that way.  But the use of the word ‘fujoshi’ in English-speaking spaces with a positive connotation is ironically the exact reason it’s often used in a negative way now.

If someone is making a positivity post for women or nb people or afab people (etc) that uses ‘fujoshi’ in a negative light, they’re hideously missing the point. It’s playing into the narrative that anyone who isn’t a (cis) man isn’t allowed to own their enjoyment of erotic material that involves (cis) men - even if that erotic material was created specifically for them, and without exploiting any real (cis) men, mlm or not - without feeling shame.

fandom has been fussing over whether or not non-mlm people are allowed to create or consume fictional mlm works for literal decades. Policing what non-(cis)men get hot and bothered over is an international pastime, with advocates on all sides of the political spectrum*:

conservative/purity groups are opposed to erotic/explicit material existing in the first place, especially aimed at people-they-categorize-as-women (because ‘women’ shouldn’t experience sexual desire for anyone but their husband). even mentioning sex in an educational context to people who aren’t 18 is a dangerous promotion of promiscuity. and anything that features LGBTQ content of any kind is promoting sin

misogynists/MRAs are deeply disturbed by the idea that anyone who isn’t a cis man is owning and controlling their sexual enjoyments in a way they didn’t personally condone (especially if that expression doesn’t involve actually having sex with them). they therefore deride non-cis-men who enjoy fictional mlm as ugly ‘old women’ who couldn’t get with them even if they tried

radfems are alarmed that people-radfems-categorize-as-women create, consume, and openly enjoy erotic content, as porn exploits people with vaginas (except under very narrow circumstances). it’s particularly bad when people with vaginas are sexually enjoying bodies with penises because that’s essentially sexual desire for your oppressor, which is kind like self-abuse

and now antis, who take a little from all three of the above columns, are stressed about non-(cis)men creating and consuming explicit fictional mlm content because nsfw content will make minors have sex, and it fetishizes real mlm, and non-(cis)men who like it are gross and also old people who really just want sex with young people, and it’s weird that non-mlm want to fantasize about sex that they can’t have anyway, isn’t it?

(none of these groups have clued in that non-(cis)men may have many reasons for enjoying explicit fictional mlm content other than sexual enjoyment, but hey.)

*let me set aside a note for mlm who are bothered by fictional mlm content created by non-mlm. unlike the groups above, there’s a legit claim to feeling exploited because irl bi/pan/gay men are attacked and ridiculed for their sexual orientation. Understandably, having fictional versions of mlm relationships by-non-mlm-for-non-mlm can feel particularly objectifying. (nonetheless I would argue that on the scale of objectification and harm, slash fic written by majority-LGBT/queer transformative fandom is a drop in the bucket, and there’s plenty of places on the net where fictional mlm-by-mlm-for-mlm dominates.)

anyone who isn’t a cis (straight, white - yes, as usual, race heavily intersects with all this!!) man owning their sexual interests is threatening to a status quo that put those cis-straight-white men at the top of the list of people who get to choose who to sleep with and sexualize with impunity. 

there’s absolutely no reason for us to help the power structure out by attacking each other.

Men really just go about life. Hurting women. Not giving a shit. Sleeping sound as fuck while you going to therapy for 4 years. Huh.