Natures Of Celestials 1/2

Natures of Celestials 1/2

I realized while working on this story that the character profiles are going to take a lot more research and time than I originally thought. Because many of these people are inspired by real religion and myth I want to be as careful as possible in their descriptions.

For now I’ll keep you all updated on some more concepts that will help you gain a better understanding of the characters and world. In particular, I wanted to speak more on the natures of the celestial entities in the story as they may differ from the traditional understanding of angels and daemons most are familiar with. 

Within the story “You Are Sheol”, we will be operating under the philosophy that energy in all forms is conscious and thus can harbor information, can remember that information, can forget that information, and most importantly, can have intentions. 

Energy is trans-dimensional and is the only thing in creation capable of fitting between The Veil. Humans can do magick with entities by sharing energy with them through intentions and worship. 

Death cleans the information of all energy, resulting in energy with no intention or identity.  There are multiple stages of Death.

The ethereal world makes work with dark matter. There are materials and elements composed of Dark matter in the 4th dimension that are unknowable to us due to our dimension’s inability to interact with it and our inability to detect it. We cannot comprehend it. If a human consciousness finds itself in the psychedelic world, it will likely be unable to understand the material even if it does interact with visible matter. This makes the ethereal world and higher dimensions mysterious in nature.

Examples of material and machines made from dark matter.

All celestial entities are composed of Energy in waves or forms that exist on spectrums and vibrate at a certain frequency. This energy is generated by feeding on Dark Matter in the form of different Primordial Elements. The result of this energy feeding on these elements is Primordial Fire, the result of an entity’s energy. The result of this interaction becomes a consciousness in varying degrees of complexity. All of these entities have names but very few have been discovered by humanity. 

Primordial Fire

Within these higher dimensions these beings have unfathomable mass and gravitational fields. Instead of a material body, a celestial will have a melam, which can be considered their ethereal body, a projection of the energy emitted from their Primordial Fire. While symbolism often relates angels to looking like birds, the rapid fluttering of their colorful wings are closer to that of moths. Celestials do not rest. Energy is collected through various means depending on the entity. Celestials have precise control over their own matter and energy.

A visualization of what celestials may "look like" in higher dimensions

Because celestials do not have physical bodies, it is easier to think of them as ideas of people and concepts rather than “people” themselves. A collection of energy in a closed system that has developed an identity, and in the case of Collective Angels, may have roles and natural intentions (to blow the wind, to grow the trees etc.) 

This means they can be considered many ideas at once, and can be in many places at once. Many versions of a celestial can exist from our perspective whilst still being considered the same entity. Celestials can simultaneously be classified as both damon and angel, but Collective Angels cannot be considered Daemon. Collective Angels can however, be Lower Gods, as can Higher Daemons.

Because these entities are thought forms, they can be accessed via specific correspondences that align with the entity's energy. These correspondences, in the form of colors, scents, sounds, elements, timing, planetary alignments, animals etc, all contribute to the energy of a specific individual entity.

Some entities reside on Earth, most do not. Entities exist in all parts of creation, and creation is incomprehensibly big. These entities may or may not have motives that interact with Earth or Humanity, and it should be noted that there are many entities that have never and will never interact with humanity at all. 

(Living creatures in other solar systems (which would be aliens to us, I suppose) worship the Gods of their creation just as we do, and those Gods have domain over those sections of space. Our story is mainly focused around the Gods of the Milky Way Galaxy who obey our laws of physics.)

Knowable Creation

Celestials (Gods, gods, Angels, angels, Daemons, and daemons)  can manifest themselves in the material plane as different forms of energy. There are entities that exist in high forms of energy, and there are entities that exist in low forms of energy. It takes a gargantuan amount of energy for a celestial to manifest in the material world without a material body. Our material plane simply cannot handle the complexity of their being, and their mysterious dark matter cannot pass between dimensions. So celestials often opt to manifest as one of these lesser forms of energy to make contact with the material realm. 

Energy is recognizable in the performance of work and in the form of heat and light.  Energy is transdimensional. 

For our purposes, we will say there are 7 main types of energy that a celestial may manifest as. 

Nuclear energy, gravitational energy, light energy (in all forms), mechanical energy, electrical energy,  sound energy, and chemical energy.  

(I’m sure through some technicalities we could identify more)

The spectrum that an entity exists on will fundamentally affect the forms that they present or manifest as. More importantly, the spectrum that an entity exists on outlines the limitations of their power both in the material world (our world, 3), the ethereal world (4), the psychedelic world (5), and onwards. 

It should be noted that an entity can exist across multiple spectrums, and may present in our world in one or more spectrum at a time. This requires more energy. Therefore, it is typical to see less powerful entities (spirits) manifest in only one spectrum at a time; ex: a lesser spirit may manifest as a whisper or a light, but usually not both at the same time. 

Higher entities can utilize the use of multiple spectrums to become more vivid in ways that lower spirits cannot. The spectrums that entities exist on also corresponds to the five senses, the elements, and by extension to the abilities that a psychic can develop (this will make more sense later). 

Manifestation through Nuclear Energy

Many Lower Gods and Higher Angels manifest as stars in the material plane, which is truly a testament to their overwhelming gargantuan energy and provides a mental scale as to why these impossibly powerful entities must stay so far away from us. Like a chemical reaction, the reactor within stars is the means to manifest the energy of the celestial (the angel is not literally the star but the energy conjured from the star). Practitioners can utilize the energy of stars through Astrology.

In the dawn of Earth’s creation there were more instances of natural self-sustaining nuclear reactions, I suppose it could be theorized that entities may have presented in this way on Earth in the past- but save for the most obvious examples, this form of manifestation is generally unobtainable through any means beyond Astrology. In our world this can more or less be disregarded except in the unique situation of Angels and Gods of War and Destruction manifesting in the form of nuclear warfare.

Whatever the case, this phenomenon shouldn’t occupy too much of your mind but provides an additional context to Astrology and deity worship.

Manifestation through Gravitational Energy 

Like Nuclear Energy, consider this irrelevant except in the context of gargantuan masses like planets and stars. This is more or less unobtainable from a practitioner’s standpoint, but holds more significance in the ethereal plane and how entities interact with each other. Higher Angels and Daemons are extremely massive in their own dimension, so much so that they affect other living creatures around them. For this reason it is incredibly rare to find an angel hanging around a lesser spirit like a fairy. Angels are able to control this pull to a degree through reducing their density by dispersing their matter or increasing their density by gathering their matter to a single point. Angels know how to navigate each other's gravity and lower angels often orbit their Archangel. If not for the dimensional separation, the gravitational pull of a single angel would likely be powerful enough to decimate the Earth in an instant. 

Manifestation through “Light” in all forms

This would be referring to the Electromagnetic Spectrum, or “light” spectrum across all frequencies. This is one of the most common ways a celestial entity or spirit will manifest, but this can mean many different things. With the right tools some forms of EM energy can be converted into other forms of energy like sound. Entities that manifest on the electromagnetic spectrum move at the speed of light and are the fastest entities in creation. This is more or less irrelevant to us here on Earth but is extremely significant in the hugeness of space. Keep in mind that just because you may not be able to see the entity, does not mean that it is not incredibly bright.

Manifestation through Radio and Microwaves

The lowest wavelengths on the EM spectrum and the easiest to manifest as. 

The age of technological advancement has truly been fruitful for Daemons. Entities will sometimes manifest in radio waves that can then be picked up by devices like a conventional radio, a television, or Spirit Box and converted into sound or images. This also means that Daemons can easily and efficiently manifest via the internet and television, and Higher Daemons can use tvs as portals. This has often been used to disrupt communication between and decisive humans or to plant the seeds of ideas in them.

Daemons manipulating television

The Seal of Solomon, also known as the Sigil of Solomon or the Seal of Suleiman bin Daoud, was a deal created by Suleiman that made it so that Daemons who were bound by it could not harm innocents wantonly. In exchange it provided them with protections as well. The Kings Pact binds them so that they cannot show themselves or speak to us, meaning that it revoked their ability to manifest as visible light or audible sound waves. This was a good solution for many years, however, the development of the internet and television made it so that Daemons could be seen without being seen through monitors, and heard without being heard through speakers and applications like social media. This is a massive loophole in the seal that was then wickedly exploited. 

The King's Pact, A Daemon using television as a portal

Manipulation and intersection of radio waves is a common and reliable way that entities communicate with humans. Nearly every single celestial in creation emits radio waves and uses them to communicate with humanity as well as each other due to their efficiency in penetrating most materials and their ability to travel indefinitely in the vacuum of space. In the ethereal realm, the psychic link between Collective Angels that is used for vast communication is most usually carried in high frequency radio waves, hence the appropriate name “Angel Radio”. It is worth noting that while humans may not be able to hear or see radio waves, the brain is sometimes capable of observing them. 

Manifestation through Infrared Waves

With the correct tools, Infrared light shows us how hot things are. Like radio and microwaves, most every celestial entity in creation emits immense levels of infrared rays in their own dimension because they burn so incredibly hot, but these rays can usually only be observed by us in extremely unique circumstances like summoning and in the case of spirits, in hauntings.

Some angels employ the use of Infrared Energy in healing. Fluctuations in temperature during magical operations is a way that entities may make their presence known. Likewise, entities that absorb IF radiation may manifest during hauntings as unnatural cold spots. 

Pls stay tuned for part two posting soon I reached the image limit lol. If this is your first time seeing one of my posts pls read the other ones bc it probably won't make any sense if you don't. ::))) Thxx

"You Are Sheol" Exposition

“You are Sheol” is the title of the original story. This tale takes place in 2nd person as the narrator helps Sheol (or you, the reader) remember and understand who and what he is. 

The story explores the mind of an adolescent boy named Sheol as he tries to discover the mysteries of his own past as well as the magical and celestial worlds.

When Sheol is a child, he is visited by an angel who carefully explains to him that they are eternally bound to each other. It is Archangel Zamariel, Saint of Beauty and Divine Music, who blesses Sheol and takes him under his ray.

In an effort to understand the divine and mundane, Sheol eventually discovers himself in the occult and witchcraft. Desperate to understand his true nature, Sheol digs deeper into this hidden knowledge until he finally understands the truth behind the Angels’ secrets. This story explores themes of eternal love, reincarnation, nostalgia, God, magic, religion and life. 

Here are some important terms and concepts that will help you gain a better understanding of this world:

Universal Constants

Dimensions

A dimension is a plane of reality. There are an infinite number of dimensions as far as we know, however those who exist on dimensions higher than the 10th are considered inconceivable. Dimensions are positioned parallel to each other in stacks like a sandwich. Our current 3 dimensional world exists on a material plane. The 4th dimension directly above us exists on an ethereal plane. Dimensions prevent the universe from collapsing on itself. The higher the dimension, the more complex and dense reality becomes. It is easier to ascend dimensions than it is to descend. 

The Veil

The black space between Dimensions. The Veil is constantly being squished between Dimensions and Aether, so it swells and thins in cycles. The thinning of the Veil is the most optimal time for entities to contact the physical plane and for magical operations to be carried out. The removal of the Veil would allow you to see through every dimension. The Veil ensures that dimensions are kept separate and do not collapse on each other. 

The Fabric

The universal material that bends around physical objects and gravity. The Fabric is composed of infinite fractals that form patterns in space. Not to be confused with Aether, which is a physical substance. The Fabric is literally the background code that Space and Time are made from. The Fabric cannot be influenced by anything other than a Chimera. 

Mindscapes

Similar to Realms, Mindscapes are pocket worlds that exist within every human mind and can be infinite in size. These spaces are responsible for pure imagination and abstract thought, as there are no laws of physics within a Mindscape. Mindscapes are generally locked down and extremely secure, but can occasionally be infiltrated during events like possessions.

Realms

A Realm is a place within a dimension that can be considered it’s own pocket world. A Realm may have its own laws of physics but may never defy the fundamental Natural Laws. Within the story, every pantheon of Gods and Deities exist in their own Realms. Realms exist in all dimensions. Realms vary in size and can be massive or miniscule. Realms can exist within other Realms. Realms can exist within Mindscapes. The Realms of two separate entities can be combined into a single Realm or a collective Realm. In order for humans to contact entities, it is necessary for them to come into contact with their Realm. Only Deities, Angels, and Daemons can create realms. Even individual Collective Angels have their own realms. 

Zones

A zone is an area that has been marked as an entities’ (usually a daemon’s) territory. Human and non-human spirits/ghosts are able to create zones. Highly experienced living magical practitioners can also create zones. Unlike a Realm which can theoretically last an infinite amount of time, a zone is considered temporary. 

Energy

Energy is the life of all things and takes form in many ways. Any thing that harbors the movement of energy can be considered a living creature, this includes seemingly inanimate objects like crystals. Gods and celestials rely on Energy to make contact with the material world. The higher the dimension an entity inhabits, the more Energy is required to make contact with the material dimension (3rd). Energy exists in physical things as well as thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Energy cannot be created, it must be taken from a pre existing source. 

Blessings

An energetic exchange between a celestial and another. Consider this to be celestial currency. Any celestial can obtain blessings from another.

Ray

To be under an entity’s ray is to be protected or targeted by their Energy. There are both positive and negative rays, every entity has more than one kind of ray. Rays are also a way for entities to establish ownership over other entities or humans. Higher Deities, Lower Gods, Angels and Daemons all have rays. 

Aura 

The personal energy that surrounds a person or living creature. The celestial equivalent to this is a Melam. Because celestials have no material bodies, they are instead protected by their Melam which is far thicker than a human aura.

Primordial Fire

The essence that every celestial is made of. These fires are found in the Empyrean Heaven. 

Aether

Aether or Ether is without the firmness of earth, the coolness of water, the heat of fire or even the movement of wind. It is therefore the very essence of 'emptiness'. The space element is the most subtle of all elements. It is the material that was believed to fill the universe beyond the terrestrial sphere. It is the material that the Dimensions are suspended within. Crystals of Aether can be used to stabilize Chimeras and prevent them from absorbing each other. 

Incantation

Words said as a magic spell or charm used for summoning entities. Can be equated to a recipe or equation. 

Enn

An Enn is a mantra given by Daemons as a way to attune your energy and vibration to them through the use of  sound frequencies, almost like a phone number. It not only changes your vibration and the surrounding, but also charges the air around you with their power. This is useful for many things. Enn mantras are in a language that isn't known.

Sigil, Seal or Pentacle

A sigil is a type of symbol used as a pictorial signature of a deity or spirit. In modern usage, especially in the context of chaos magic, sigils refer to a symbolic representation of the practitioner's desired outcome. These symbols have great power over the ethereal realm.

Magick Circle

An energetic boundary created by a practitioner to keep entities trapped within, or to keep entities from coming inside. 

Magick

The practice of influencing energy through intentions. 

Natural Laws

The laws that every living creature in creation must adhere to, including Gods. The natural laws are as follows. 

All things must eventually die, including Gods of Creation and Death Itself. 

Dimensions must be kept separate.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed, only changed or transferred. 

Keep an eye out for my next post that will delve into the entities that inhabit this world. Thanks for reading!

Entities within the World.

This is a non exhaustive list of some of the entities that exist within the story “You are Sheol”. All of these entities are inspired by figures in myths around the world, but are not exactly the same.

Chimeras

Chimeras are inexplicable creatures who defy the natural laws of death. Chimeras do not die when killed, rather, they reorganize their cells and reanimate as a different person with the same memories. Chimeras have the ability to influence the fabric of reality. Notoriously fragile, Chimeras are known to split into separate consciousnesses when severely injured to avoid reincarnation. Chimeras are the only entities observed in creation that are skilled at absorption. There are perfect and imperfect Chimera.

Higher Gods

Higher Gods are entities which exist in dimensions tens to hundreds of layers above ours. Because these entities are so incredibly complex, powerful, and dense, Higher Gods will split their consciousness among thousands of Angels who will all collectively carry out their will. This allows Higher Gods to interact with the universe in lower dimensions without destroying the fabric of everything. Every angel within a Higher God’s pantheon is literally a piece of that God. This means that in order to witness a Higher God, every single angel from its pantheon must be observed in a single realm.

The risk with splitting your consciousness among angels like this is that angels, while extremely disciplined, also have free will and can and occasionally do seek other Gods from other pantheons to work with. Likewise , Angels are known to disagree with each other very often, and conflicts between specific Angels mean the decimation of an entire pantheon.

Lower Gods

Lower Gods can be described as Gods whose consciousness can be contained within a single entity. Lower Gods do not split their consciousness among Angels and can operate completely independently. Daemons and Angels alike can become Lower Gods with enough Energy. Lower Gods are known to do magick with humans often. Lower Gods can take Angels and Daemons from other pantheons under their ray. Lower Gods can be worshiped. Lower Gods are not to be mistake for “lesser” gods.

Collective Angels

There are some pantheons that do not follow this traditional understanding of the hierarchy of Angels, some of which may be explored at different times. Our story is mainly centered around a Pre- Abrahamic understanding of the traditional hierarchy inspired by Summaria, Zoroastrianism, Canaanites and early Judaism with a dash of Christianity; however, this pantheon can be considered *somewhat* original as it does not strictly adhere to the beliefs of these faiths. Consider it an eclectic blend of all of these things.

Every Angel looks and behaves entirely uniquely, however, they all share the quality of being highly energetic, incredibly bright burning, intensely massive, lofty entities. Both Angels and Demons present in many forms including humanoid and anthropomorphic. Angels will appear as different sexes at different times. Their truest form is inconceivable to normal Humans.

Highest orders: Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones.

Middle orders: Dominions, Virtues, Powers.

Lowest orders: Principalities, Archangels, Angels.

(These directional descriptors do not at all reference power or importance, rather consider them explanations of how close or far away from Humanity each order is, with the highest being furthest away. Archangel Jophiel, for example, commands legions of Cherubim even though they are technically in a higher order than her)

Collective Angels work as a hive mind, though they do not all have the same thoughts or opinions. Any prayers made towards The Higher God or energy given is distributed evenly among every single collective Angel.

A Nega (Pronounced Negga)

A Nega ____ can be described as the inverse function of a celestial. Every celestial has an inverse counterpart. The Negas of the 72 Angels of Creation are the 72 Angels of Destruction. Negas also carry out the wills of their God and can be considered a part of the Collective Angels.

^ This song captures the vibes of Collective Angels well

Watchers

A class of Angels that were exiled for lusting after and procreating with Humans.

Nephilim

The unholy offspring of Watchers and Humans. Giants.

Daemons

The difference between Daemons and Angels is more political than physiological. There are many reasons why an Angel may radicalize and become a Daemon, however, the most common reason is a desire to operate as an individual rather than as a collective. Along with this many Daemons are not fond of the very strict contact rules with Humans that Angels must follow, and would like to do magick with them. “Daemon” is a self proclaimed title. Because Angels and Daemons cannot accept worship, the only time they are able to accept energy from a human as their own is through magical operations and offerings. After being cut from the collective pool of energy collective Angels share, many Daemons utilized magical contracts with Humans to stay self-sufficient.

Daemons are known to have better social skills with Humans than Angels. Daemons do not have Negas. Like Angels, Daemons are free will entities and may or may not be tolerant towards Humans.

^This song captures the vibes of Daemons well.

Djinni, Fairies, Natural Spirits

Human-like entities that existed before humanity. These entities have their own beliefs and religions. All of these living creatures have free will, eat, sleep, procreate, and die.

Thank you for reading! I think in my next posts I’ll explore the main characters of the story.

You Are Sheol . 2

There are stars in the sky. 

No more snow falling down from the clouds. In fact, the sky is beautifully clear as if the stars had planned to perform on this night for months in advance. You clench your fists to feel that your fingers are no longer stiff and cold. Your clothes are no longer heavy and wet. 

When you sit up you find that you are lying on an incline. It is on the right side of a busy road that leads towards a small town that was built on the side of a mountain. A massive semi truck with blinding yellow headlights passes by you as it turns down the hill. It moans by you loudly as a gust of wind shoots through your hair. You look out at the town and admire the distant lights that twinkle through the evening air. 

“Hey!” You hear someone call from behind you. A woman in a silver SUV pulls off the road, the headlights of her car make you squint. She puts her car in park before quickly climbing out and running over to you. “Oh my God!” She yells as she approaches you.

With no idea of what else to do, you begin to cry.

“Oh! My Goodness, sweetheart! It’s okay!” the woman says as she kneels to you. She is an older woman wearing a large brown coat with a fuzzy hood. She has bouncy blonde hair and wears bright red lipstick.

“Do you know where your parents are, honey? Did you get lost?”

You cannot find a reply through your panicked sobs. 

A boy who looks to be about 16 pokes his head out from the passenger side window and looks at you with surprise. “Is that a kid?” he asks.

“Call the police, Cameron!” the woman yells back as she scoops you into her arms. “My God you must be freezing! Out here in this snow with a t-shirt and shorts, what happened to your shoes, honey? Can you tell me what happened to your shoes?”

Still, you cannot answer.

“Oh that’s okay, sweetheart, that’s okay. Can you tell me your name, honey?”

She sits you in the back seat of the car beside a baby who sits in a raised car seat. The baby is asleep. 

The woman takes the phone from the boy and talks to the 9-1-1 dispatcher on the other side. 

“I was just coming down the hill- yes, the one that goes straight into Golden. Yes-... well I don’t know, I just saw this little boy all by himself with no jacket or shoes on the side of the road… No, I haven’t been able to get a name yet, he’s very freaked out I think- maybe about three or four years old ? I’m not entirely sure…” 

You wipe your tears and stare absently out the window, unable to tell if everything happening around you is real or not. But as you stare out into the dark woods, you can see something standing in the brush looking back at you. The same person from before staring with a blank expression. You sit up in your seat to get a closer look but your eye catches the red and blue light of a police car pulling up in front of you instead. 

When you look back into the woods, the person is gone. 

…

You Are Sheol . 3

What had occurred on this day that had not occurred in 5 billion years?

This is the question that plagues Zamariel’s mind. 

He blooms as the conductor of the greatest orchestra in Heaven, his brethren singing in perfect harmony as they spew sweet praises to the ineffable God. The songs are magnificent as they always are and always will be. Zamariel leads the Cherubim with absolute grace. 

Fate has a cruel sense of humor, at least, that’s what all the Angels say. Zamariel never really believed that until today. In fact, he had always held the opinion that Fate was quite merciful. She had allowed all that had ever been to be. She had given Zamariel the ability to exist, he was infinitely in Her debt for that. 

Yet today, Zamariel wonders if Fate is watching him now, laughing maniacally at his misfortune. For all the good graces She’s bestowed him, She now takes his deepest vulnerability and twists it into an abomination.

Today, for the first time in 5 billion years, Zamariel makes a mistake. It is a miniscule one that would never be noticed by even the most masterful musicians. But Zamariel knows that there is no room for mistakes in Heaven’s choir. Someone noticed. 

Angels are able to be many places at once because they are many things at once.

When we observe him from this angle, Zamariel is skillfully conducting the greatest music in existence in the second sphere of Heaven. 

But when we shift our perspective ever so slightly, he can be found on Earth, watching you hop out of the silver SUV and walk cautiously over to the police car. There, a female officer says a few things to you before lifting you inside and getting in herself. 5 seconds go by, then the police car pulls back onto the road and starts down the hill to the town.

“You must believe that I have not doubted you for even an instant, Fairest Beauty of Divine Music, Archangel Zamariel,” someone speaks with great reverence as they approach Zamariel from the darkness of the woods. 

He is a blinding light that oscillates from purple to yellow. He has not taken the effort to prepare a human form. 

“Forgive me, Saint of Beauty, for I wish not to question you. I cannot understand the nature of your actions. For I am the Guardian Angel of humans born in the time that extends beneath my ray. I maintain the natural order of things as intended by Fate. Why have you gone to efforts to interfere with my kin if not ordered to you by God?” 

Zamariel turns his gaze towards his brother who shrinks under the intensity of his mystifying eye. 

“My dear brother, Mebahel, do you see the Mother Moon is still at perfect peace?” he replies with an almost agitated tone. Mebahel confirms. 

“-and do you see that the Great Sky and Earth have remained separated? Do you see that the Father Sun has remained in orbit around us on this rock, and that the stars still remain suspended in the Cellestine?” 

Mebahel confirms once more. 

“Then it must be so that Fate has not been contradicted and that the natural order remains unbroken. You speak doubt unto Her. Do you truly believe that Fate did not account for my actions on this day, simply because you did not?”

Mebahel does what is the equivalent of a bow. 

“You mustn’t misunderstand my intention, Zamariel. I only seek understanding to illuminate my ignorance, I did not… mean to-”

“Speak it not to me,” Zamariel interrupts. “Commence your consolations to the source of your offense.” 

With that, the light that is Mebahel fades into obsoletion.

…

You Are Sheol . 1

Sheol, do you remember being born?

No, not that time. Not the time you’re thinking about. Humans cannot remember being born that way. Some people claim they can, but the hardware required to remember is not present in the brains of newborn infants. Birth is a misery best forgotten by offspring and life givers alike anyways. Even if you were “here” as a 6 pound cocoon of flesh, it’s not like you had any sense of awareness. It’s not like you were you. 

No, you know that’s not that I’m talking about. 

Do you remember becoming real? 

Can you remember the rain?

Well, I need you to remember. 

Try to remember.

Yes, there you go. Let’s paint this scene together. 

It starts as a speck of water on the chilled glass of a window pane. 

Your inquisitive eyes linger on it for just a moment too long, and as it begins to droop and tumble down the glass, your little finger traces its path. 

Water. 

There is then another drop of water, and soon after many more follow. They paint transparent lines down the window, steadily building a gentle rhythm. 

Rump thump thump 

Rump thump thump

Pitter patter

Trickle

A muted song fills your ears as the rain becomes more confident. 

You stare out the window and watch the droplets stain the dusty gravel road. Its dry crimson soaks into a deeper red. The trees buckle and shake in the increasing winds. They bob their heads like excited rockers at a concert, their branches clashing like unkempt hair speckled in sweat. 

Swooning howls cut through the air as the clouds blend and fold over themselves, becoming congested and swollen with darkness. 

You sit with your cheek pressed against the window, in the living room of a house that is nearly as old as the trees that surround it. As the wind challenges the warped foundation and deteriorating roof, you begin to realize for the first time that you are very small compared to the shell that you are contained within. 

Is it strange to be enclosed by something so big and so old, when you are so small and so young? 

This feeling is a stranger to you, yet it greets you with familiarity, as if you are still a fetus in your mother’s womb. This womb is colder though, and makes no effort to protect you. There is nothing that will stop it from collapsing on you. 

Your eyes trace a crack in the wall, exposed from the peeling 70s style wallpaper. It leads up towards a part of the ceiling that has become pregnant with water. The nearly pleasant stench of soggy wood permeates the room. A family of droplets splashes against the brown hardwood floor. 

There is a cold that lays on your skin. You hadn’t noticed it before. It crept up on you so subtly that by the time you felt it, discomfort had accompanied it. You shuffle back away from the window and look out into the storm, now realizing all together that you are alone in this big house. You are alone and you won’t know what to do if the storm gets too angry and blows the house away. 

What would happen if those dominating winds targeted you instead of the dilapidated shingles? 

Do you know? 

Now there is something about the window that makes you hesitate, a distant uncanniness of suddenly understanding that there is danger outside. But the spectacle the storm produces is magnificent to behold. It is for this reason that you cannot bring yourself to look away. 

White light. 

BOW then CRASH the sound of shattered glass. 

You crumble to the ground, vibrating with a rhythm so fast, your heart is a kick drum beating in presto. 

Your stare out the window to see that an old tree in the front yard has been decimated. In its fury it fell atop a rusted out car that was sitting a few feet away. 

The car's roof is now a spoon that quickly pools with rain water. It’s windshield has become an abstract painting. The wind laughs with amusement at its achievement. 

Your exasperated breaths continue to pump your chest. 

TINK!-BVVV!

The room goes dark. 

You shakily lift yourself off the ground to find the light switch to the lamp that stands to your left. The window provides a conservative amount of light, but the hallway is bathed in darkness. 

Mysterious darkness. 

You stand on your tiptoes, reaching upwards towards the switch. You are too short to get it. You are a helpless thing. Even if you could reach the lightswitch it wouldn’t save you, the storm cut all the power to the house. 

A feeble whine escapes you as panic starts to creep up your spine. 

The wind moans in response, beckoning the house to creak as if conversing with you. 

Another white light, and then after about five or six seconds… BOW-!

You’re starting to understand the pattern now, yet the rumbling of the impact still surprises you every time. 

You do not know why you looked down the hallway. With all the chaos happening in front of you, there is no real explanation for why you decided to look behind you. Perhaps it is this new feeling that you’ve developed in these last five seconds. You do not know what this feeling is called. You will one day learn that it is known as ”anxiety”. 

There is something so alluring about the mystery of the dark, something that flirts with you, convinces you against your better judgment to be consumed by it. 

As your eyes stare deep into the uncanny darkness, you know you see a something. Perhaps a human shaped something, perhaps not. It stands taller than you, watching you without movement. 

A flash of white light illuminates the hallway through the small frosted windows of the wooden front door. 

There is a person standing there. 

They are draped in long flowing black fabrics that reach down to the floor. They resemble a mix of silk and velvety suede. It seems the darkness of the hallway wasn’t quite as dark as initially believed. Rather, this person’s clothes are creating the illusion of a deeper darkness. This contrasts starkly with their milky white hair that almost seems to float in the air, as if this person is submerged in water. Illuminated as if under a black light. 

You are frozen with fear, realizing now that this person is standing in front of your only exit. There is no indication of intention. You do not know whether or not this person is dangerous, and that is almost more uncomfortable than if you did know. 

BOW!

You fall to your knees again, another cry escaping you as your eyes begin to leak. Your cheeks radiate heat. 

When you look towards the hallway again, you can no longer see the person through your blurry tear soaked vision. Yet you feel an overwhelming cryptic presence looming behind you. 

You turn your head to see the person standing no more than a couple feet behind you, staring silently down at you like a wild hawk.  Their gaze permeates through you, not only observing you but watching you with such acute intensity that it feels like they could see your thoughts if they peered any harder. Their eyes are the color of the hottest shade of fire, an ocean speckled in perhaps millions of shades of mystifying blues, some of which have never been seen by human eyes before. Their stare is unnaturally intimate and visible through the antagonizing darkness. 

Their flowing white hair looks more like bioluminescent silk when you take a closer look at it. It is sprinkled in pale flecks of light that shimmer like stars. It falls to their shoulders with beautiful delicacy, framing their pale cheeks with a perfect femininity. Their hair nearly matches the hue of their skin, an unnatural white that has no reaction to the light or darkness around it. 

There is a large expanse of something writhing through the air behind them, fluttering and flexing in unnatural, uncanny ways. When you glance at it, your eyes refuse to understand what you’re looking at. 

There are about 33 seconds that elapse wherein you and this stranger do nothing but stare at each other. They almost seem as bewildered to see you as you are to see them, you both stand frozen like deer in headlights. 

You could never know how many thoughts circled through their mind in those moments. You are so small! So very young! What a helpless feeble thing, hardly yet a child! Hardly yet a thing! Awoken no more than a moment ago! A human baby bundled in material and flesh! How could such a thing happen? Why would such a thing happen? 

“Be not afraid,” a calm, gentle voice rings through your mind. An ambiguous voice that carries a nurturing compassion you have never known. Their lips do not move, yet their eyes show that they are addressing you. Their intense, powerful stare has now softened into kind patience. 

Your fear has simmered. Their presence is warm and radiant and embraces you like sunlight. Yet still, they are a stranger, and you cannot make sense of them, whatever they are. 

They lay a gentle hand on your cheek as a delicate smile graces their face. Tears, which look more like beads of glass fall from their eyes. 

Their smile then fades into a somber expression that carries a melancholy that you cannot understand. 

“You do not remember, do you?”

You hesitantly shake your head. It is a paradoxical question. You do not have any memories to be remembered. Today is your first day. 

The person exhales through their nose, not quite chuckling, as if they find something mildly funny about that. 

“Would you like to remember?” 

Then, they place their hands at either side of your head, staring deep into your eyes with intimate focus. Your foreheads touch and you feel something warm enter your skin. As you stare into this person’s infinite gaze, you feel as though their melancholy has leaked into you. You place your hand on your chest as it feels heavy and fragile, you are compelled to cry, yet these tears are not your own. 

There is a perplexing nostalgia for something that washes over you, something that you’ve never had. A distant dream or a misplaced memory that never truly existed. Something that is just out of your reach, like the beginnings of a sneeze that refuses to manifest, tickling you, but never quite becoming you. 

ChK-ChK- Click!

The doorknob of the front door jiggles. There is then a moment of shuffling before the door creaks loudly as a man begins to step into the hallway. A gust of cold air runs into the darkness in the form of a frosty white fog. 

With an unnatural speed, the person before you rises from his knees and looks at the man standing in the hallway unzipping his jacket and groaning bitterly at the cold. 

Their energy immediately shifts. They go dark and quiet as an intense horror bleeds into their expression. They look back at you, and then back at the man. 

You hear a loud and uncomfortable static fill your ears as the person takes you by the hand and quietly leads you towards the kitchen, out of sight of the hallway. 

The man agitatedly rubs his ear, and stumbles into the hall, slightly tripping over his wet boots as he kicks them off onto the floor. 

“Sheol!” He calls into the darkness. 

That’s right, you are Sheol. You recognize this voice as your father’s. 

The person stares deep into you. Their expression is serious. They do not need to use words for you to understand that you must not respond to your fathers calls. Rather, the person quietly leads you through the kitchen and down the hall to the right where your bedroom can be found. 

You quietly crack the door open, you’re sure not to agitate the old hinges.

Your room is lined in gray carpet. There is nothing on the gray walls. There are no toys. 

The person kneels down to you again. Their comforting presence distracts you from your confusion. They put their hands in yours and smile softly. 

“You are going to climb out the window,” they whisper, again with unmoving lips. 

You look out your bedroom window to see that the rain has subtly shifted to light snow. You cannot tell how high up you are, but looking down gives you butterflies. 

You shake your head with a fearful frown and begin to suck on your thumb. 

The person then nods and caresses your hair. 

“I know it’s very scary,” they start, “I will protect you and you will be safe. It is not safe here anymore.”

You whine, and murmur something. 

“No. Cold.”

The person glances knowingly out the window. 

“Yes… it is… I’m sorry.”

You hear your father starting down the hallway, his heavy steps smacking against the hardwood floor. He continues to call your name with increasing agitation. 

You look up at the person. Perhaps it is your childish naivety that makes you so trusting. 

You walk over to the closet where you find your sandals. They are blue and green with light up bottoms, gifted to you by a woman that knew your father in some way or another. You slip them on your feet, taking a painstaking amount of time to fasten the buckles. 

The person takes your hand and rushes you towards the window where they pry it open and help you up on the ledge. You stare down at the ground with fear and cling to the frame. 

The wind is now antagonizing you, slapping your cold cheeks with no remorse. The tops of your ears go red. Your nose quickly fills with snot that drips down your face. 

You whine again as you try to find a way down, but the decision is promptly made for you when you slip on the wet windowsill and fall to the ground with a hard thud. You land on your side and roll a couple times into the lightly powdered grass. 

The wind is knocked out of you. When you sit up to assess your injuries, a helpless cry escapes you. Your hot tears thaw your frosty skin. You hyperventilate as you wipe your eyes with your cold hands. 

The person is nowhere to be found, not in your room or in the front yard. The snow is beginning to fall with such severity that it’s hard to see anything around you. 

You stand from the ground and begin to walk down the pathway that was created from your father’s truck as he pulled into the driveway. You do not know where you are going. 

The wind bothers you, laughing as you wander aimlessly down the road. Your fingers have become stiff and slow. You do not have pockets to put them in. Your toes soon go numb. As you kick through increasing depths of snow you learn that the cold has the tendency to burn like fire. Soon it pains you to walk for very long.

You look back behind you, considering returning to the house. But the snow has quickly covered your tracks and obscured any identifiable landmarks. You are surrounded by layers of thick white snow. The sun is hidden behind enormous clouds that determinedly erupt with ice rain. 

You go to take another step, but trip over your sandals, tumbling into the snow and starting to cry again. Oh you poor thing, so miserable and lost.

You are so cold. It hurts more than any pain you’ve ever known. You begin to shiver and whimper. Panic greets you again. You are going to die. 

This is the first time the word has ever made sense to you. You can die. 

It is now, Sheol, that you have come alive. Just birthed from the womb of mortality, and like all births, this is painful. You are now alive because you know you can die.

Like the grass and leaves that shrink and wither in the cold, you too will return to the Earth. You, lost little thing, just barely roused to life, you can die. You are going to die. 

You stand again, and continue into the thick brush of the woods, abandoning your sandals that faintly shine a series of colorful patterns through the snow. 

Will you die?