Have You Ever Wondered Whether Or Not Youd Be Canonically Queer If Your Life Was A Story? Look No Further.

Have you ever wondered whether or not you’d be canonically queer if your life was a story? Look no further. This quiz will tell you your canon queer status. 

man do you think like? fig has sleeping issues like. maybe a hypersleep disorder or insomnia because like. to spend her whole life trancing, only needing four hours of rest to be raring to go, to suddenly need eight hours. and trancing is way different than sleeping. i wonder if she has like? really bad nightmares for a while. the dreams might not even be scary; it’s just scary that she’s seeing things for the first time. and her sleep schedule is probably a wreck. and maybe she tries so, so hard to trance, to take back that elvish part of her at the beginning, that she spends days at a time wide-awake because she isn’t resting at all and the dark circles set in and fig is a damn good liar but even those she can’t hide. 

and i think there’s a lot of vulnerability to sleeping that fig just can’t let herself accept and. just riz and fig bonding over their sleeping schedules and fig only ever really learning to sleep around the bad kids, the people she truly trusts and feels safe with and fig being a really co-dependent sleeper because her sleep issues and abandonment issues took one look at each other and had the most beautiful insecure baby that jawbone has ever seen. fig learning about a pact of tome feature that doesn’t allow sleep, and despite her hexblade pact begs for a songbook instead of a killer bass-themed axe, because she can’t. she can’t sleep. she just can’t.

fig on tour ironically being the most rested she’s ever been since her horns came in, because her dad is there, and gorgug is there, and gorgug is so nice that he won’t question why she clambers into his already cramped bed on the bus, trying to find room that isn’t there. he doesn’t even get mad when he wakes up all sweaty and gross because she’s a living hellfire. he just smiles sleepily at her and asks if she slept well. and she does, god, does she sleep well. 

fig smoking so much because the nicotine helps her stay awake, helps her keep going when she’s reached the 48-hour stretch and can barely keep her eyes open. 

just. i’m having lots of thoughts about fig and sleeping. maybe because my own sleep schedule is a mess lmfao.

“You’re not going anywhere, alright?” and “We’re gonna handle this together” i’m sobbing. jammer is so kind; he is the heart and soul of this team and it’s just so nice. the pilot program team has my whole heart. 

and evan’s “they can erase everything else but they can’t erase family on six” my h e ar t

evAN WANTING TO MAKE SURE THE KITCHEN IS OKAY,,,MY HEART,,,,WHAT A KIND YOUNG MAN

i watched the mcrib scene again and boy, still just as funny as the first time. 

i’m watching escape from the bloodkeep and i just keep thinking like. maggie and the ferocious beast but that’s not correct because maggie is the ferocious beast. what a queen. i love her.