"Held Memories

"Held memories

with Lilia Vanrouge"

"You used to have long hair?" The fae on your chest, peeks up at you with a grin. Every time you asked a question in regards to his past, he felt a sense of nostalgia. It used to scare him, but he'd grown more used to the emotion as you two progressed in this easy-going relationship.

With a chuckle, he nodded. "Yes, you are correct. Although, I'm rather curious as to how you found out."

His eyes widened briefly as you reached a hand up to tuck his stray locks behind his ears. He wasn't one to get flustered, but he would be lying if he denied your doting movements made his heart skip a beat.

You cupped his face and he relaxed into your touch. "You know how they say hair holds memories, Lilia?" He hummed softly, still preoccupied in your warm hands.

"Is that what they're saying nowadays?" When he cracked his eyes open to see your genuine and sincere expression, he giggled once more. "Well, let's just say I have some memories I'd prefer to forget, and leave it at that, hm?"

Despite your growing curiosity for his lack of explanation, you decided against prying. Maybe one day, he'd indulge your need for answers.

"I have to break your heart

with Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade"

Taking accountability for your decision to leave is cruel, don’t you think? Acknowledging how you hurt others, but refusing to apologize. What is the point in saying sorry when there's no effort to change?

Each moment you pitched to others the idea that you were completely alone, you dismissed those who loved you. You forfeit the relationships and connections you handmade with those individuals. And it’s clear for a fact you didn’t try to care. Sneaking away from those who truly do love you for others who couldn’t care less about your absence.

You can go back to a person. Again and again and again. But you cannot make them care.

Your false sacrifices will not make them love you.

You can leave, go to where you perceive 'home' as. But do not expect your family to be there, waiting.

"You look so pretty

with Sebek Zigvolt"

His eyes were partially closed with his mouth agape. It was a quiet moment after you kissed him. You were prepared for the explosion of confusion at your actions, but all he did was lean into the hand holding the left side of his face.

"Again."

With a smile, you indulged his request for a repeat of your previous show of affection. His hands hesitantly reached up to grab you with a slight shake to them. Perhaps he was shy, or afraid of harming you. Either way, you found it endearing. Seeing the typically loud and confident guard of Malleus seem to grow unsure of his touch.

When you pulled away again to breathe, he made sure to keep you close. An unsure grasp around your back as his gaze was fixed on your eyes. To see him in such a vulnerable state of uncertainty was amusing. It appeared Lilia was right. When a fae, half or not, loves someone...it is as if that person is all that matters in sincere moments.

"You know, in moments like these, it's like I'm all that matters."

His eyes widened for a second, and you expected him to object, but all he did was pull you closer. His previously unsure hands went to your waist and head. In a tight embrace he mumbled something you couldn't make out.

"Maybe barely...[name]."

"Loss of power

with Jade Leech"

Mentions of nudity and the topic of sex, but so sexual intercourse

As he laid underneath you, he was stiff and clearly uncomfortable. His shirt and pants had been shed already, allowing you a clear view to the bumps across his pale skin. His breath was caught in his throat, feeling less like a partner and more like prey. \

Was this how others felt towards him and Floyd? Of course. He knew that because of his cause for his demeanor.

While Floyd was rambunctious and chaotic, reveling in the anxiety of his fellow classmates, Jade did not originally act this way out of fascination for fear. "Jade, you still have a sense of power in this. Say the word, and I'll stop immediately." He snapped out of his thoughts, almost choking from the dryness of his throat.

You still had your clothes on. You were invulnerable in this situation as he was quite literally laying on his back for you. How could you handle this state?

He felt the rush of adrenaline as you leaned a bit closer. You were asking for permission, and he couldn't react. His body felt rigid, and probably was. His heartbeat was in his ears, reminding him of that awful day.

His face was pale as your gaze was soft and direct. Why? Why couldn't he do anything? Why was he so weak underneath you, despite you being so normal about it when the roles were reversed? Sevens, how could he be so scared of a human?

He hadn't noticed you pulled away until a blanket covered him. The plush made contact with his skin and caused him to jump. You took note of it and turned to head to his bathroom. But he was quick to grab your wrist. He was trembling.

"I'd like to apologize. I did not expect a concept involving vulnerability to make me shake like prey. Perhaps we could try again sometime at a later-," you pulled away.

Your expression looked so scary, sending a shiver down his spine. He wasn't used to this feeling of cowardice. "I'm not ever planning to push you into a state of paralysis from fear, Jade. Never again."

He couldn't grab you again as you resumed your way to the door. You shut the door behind you, maybe to give him time to himself.

He felt as if he was on auto-pilot as he doubled over. A sob forced its way out of his mouth, causing him to cover his face. What the hell was going on with him now? Your kindness, and his cowardice. they were so irritating to deal with like this. All your composure in the moment of his crisis caused his cries to increase in volume.

Behind the bathroom door, you sat. Listening to the ever stoic Jade Leech hyperventilate and spiral in his thoughts. He had suggested the possibility of having intimacy where you took charge, claiming it would be interesting.

You should have known it could have resulted in this, but then again. No one could have predicted your boyfriend would experience such a severe reaction.

Maybe you should have stuck in the room to give him a shoulder to cry on, but with all that's happened? Jade may break further if you were to bare genuine witness to his wrecked state.

He wanted to be more than just a predator, to understand your side to the relationship. But he failed, so horrendously. How pathetic. All due to his past of being prey as a child. The memories that would cause him to wake up in a cold sweat, have been the cause of the rift in your bond. At least, that's how he felt.

"Dream about me

with Azul Ashengrotto"

"it's your fault, Azul."

That's all that came to his mind as he came out of his crazed overblotted frenzy. As his inky vision cleared to reveal Ace and Deuce begging you to open your eyes. A hue of red in the water caught his attention as even the twins stood a few strides away from the scene in disbelief.

You were hurt. And with your limp body in Deuce's arms, it was clear to be grave. Floyd made an effort to get closer, but Ace screamed at him. Something incoherent in the cephalopod's panicked state. What has he done?

You were snarky at times, but you still managed to weave your way into his heart. You were never mean to him unprovoked like others appeared to be. Admittedly, he'd grown a tad bit fond of you.

The rest was a blur. You were stuck in the infirmary as your friends fought to keep you close to them. You hadn't been placed into any state too severe for hospitalization, but it was bad enough that he was asked to keep a distance from you. Crowley cared more for his reputation then the information getting out.

It haunted him to wake up in a cold sweat, recalling your scream as you were slammed into a coral bed. The magicless prefect, defenseless against the raging sea monster.

He agreed with that voice that scolded him. It was his fault. And now he'd have to live with the fact that even if you wanted to see him, the trauma he caused would be too much for your fragile condition.

Epel/Ruggie rambling

I already made a small drabble on this, but I associate Epel's guardedness towards Vil/Ruggie's hesitance towards Leona as the a specific phrase.

"I'll bite the hand that feeds."

Typically used in medias for familial bonds or animals, I admire the concept of someone of less "power" or "status" being more aggressive or passive towards another in the opposing position.

Typically in animals, namely dogs, they aren't aggressive by choice necessarily. Not towards those they value in some form or another. Unless they find it as needed, they try to stay in good graces to ensure they're kept well-fed or stable.

But, how does that change when it's weighed over their head, or used as a tactic of what FEELS like manipulation? The answer is defense. Fight or flight, with their freedom seeming to be the necessity at that very point.

"Maybe I'm afraid of you

I'll bite the hand that feeds me"

Neither are in a dangerous situation, but when it comes to their freedom or rather debts, they feel trapped. People and animals alike do irrational things when they feel afraid.

Even as Vil or Leona try to insist that they live free as they'd like, that underlying belief that it's all fake leaves the younger two feeling like they need to be on guard.

Just a small drabble while I'm half asleep