Alastor Comes Out As Ace To Lucifer

Alastor comes out as Ace to Lucifer

(HEY ALL MY ACE'S OUT THERE! If you are or are not a radioapple shipper thats fine. But...I'm praticing trying to write Alastor as ace, or I think grayace? (please feel free to correct me.) Anyway I'd like the opinion of people on that spectrum to tell me how good or bad I did. And were I could improve if needed. Thank you! And thanks for reading!

The current scene is set somewhere in the 1990s. Alastor and Lucifer have been dating (around) a month at this point (can be changed later). Lucifer and Charlie are having a sleepover at Alastor’s house (they do this often now) and Lucifer is laying in bed with Alastor while Charlie is bunking it with Alastor’s mom in her room.(?) The concept of gay is a new concept to people in this era and while its legal its frowned upon. So being asexual is an undiscovered thing and while Alastor is ace he doesn't understand it. Or understand its okay and there isn't something wrong with him.

Lucifer liked Alastor’s house. 

He liked how warm, cozy and inviting it felt opposed to the gigantic mansion he owned. He liked how small Alastor’s bed was compared to his own. Because his bed felt empty. Hallow. Alastors was small and cozy and because it was small it made them have to lay closer to each other. Which…neither ever seemed to mind. 

He liked it here. 

He liked taking Charlie out along the banks with Alastor to go exploring. He liked how warm the neighborhood was. How kind they were to Charlie. How the fellow kids in the neighborhood played with her. It was such a stark contrast to the wandering judging eyes of his own neighborhood.

As Lucifer lay there though, Alastor in his arms. He felt something was off. Alastor felt…tight. His body was tense. “Alastor?” He asked, gently. His voice is quiet. “Are you awake?” It had to be almost midnight if not early morning by now. But since the birds were quiet, he assumed night.

“Mm.”Lucifer lays there for a moment. He’s unsure if Alastor is really awake or if he’s sleep talking. He’s about to try going to sleep himself when he feels Alastor move in his arms. When he opens his eyes Alastor is moving away and sitting up. Lucifer lays there for a moment, watching Alastor with growing worry as he sits facing away from him. He’s hunched forward and his head is hanging low. 

After a moment, Lucifer sits up too. 

“Whats wrong?” He asks carefully. 

Alastor's response is immediate. “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay?” He shifts forward but Alastor turns away. So…he keeps his distance. 

They sit there in silence for a few minutes. Lucifer tries to fight the anxiety growing in his chest like a beast. And the desire to start pacing around the room. He settles for tugging at the sheets repeatedly. 

“I understand we have been together for a month now. And this may seem sudden. But I believe there’s something we need to talk about.” 

“ …I’m listening.”

Alastor looks nervous, he’s staring at the wall without a hint of a smile on his face. Lucifer noticed Alastor smiled a lot as a person. A long sigh comes from him. And at least a few minutes pass before Alastor even tries to speak again. It's like he’s contemplating dropping the subject altogether. Lucifer’s grateful he doesn’t. Because he’s not sure he wouldn’t be able to not worry about it if he knew something was on Alastor’s mind. And that it was bothering him.

“I…” He starts, messing with the bottom of his hair. “I’m not a very big fan of sex, or…sexual activities in general.” 

The statement catches Lucifer off guard. Because…well, like Alastor said they’d only been together for a month. And sure he’d known plenty of people and friends who had done way more than he’s done with Alastor in a month. But, he enjoyed that they were taking things slow. After literally marrying someone at 18 and having a child at 19 (even though he loved Charlie very much)  just to be divorced not long after, taking things slow was what he desperately needed. Having said that, neither of them had even glanced at the topic of sex. So to hear Alastor bring it up felt…strange.

"Where's this coming from?” he decides to say. Unsure about what he should say on the statement itself yet. He needs to know where Alastor’s mind is at first.

Alastor is fidgeting. Being around him for this long, he’s picked up on the notion that Alastor does that when he’s nervous. Not a man to typically wear his heart on his sleeve. But it's not entirely difficult to figure out what he’s thinking or feeling if you knew what signs to look for. 

Lucifer slides up, and places a gentle hand on Alastor's forearm. Alastor doesn’t look at him. He’s looking down, his long hair covering his face and making it impossible to see his expression. But he doesn’t move away, or move the hand. “Hey, you can talk to me Al. I’m not judging, I’m just trying to understand what's going on.”

It makes him worry when Alastor doesn’t seem to relax. Even when he’s said that. But Lucifer waits there, patiently. The two of them tangled in the sheets, sitting together. Eventually Alastor does speak again and it's slow and cautious. Maybe even a little…scared?

“I’ve never…been a fan of sex. Or sexual things. It's just….it's not something I could ever really get into. That's not to say I don’t like it? I just like it in a different way?” He leans his face into his hand. “I’ve only had two relationships in my life. And maybe that’s pathetic for someone who is 25 but that doesn’t matter. I suppose 3 if you count us but I’m not counting us in this particular situation.” Lucifer frowns, unsure of what that’s supposed to mean. Should he be worried? He keeps those thoughts to himself for now, letting Alastor go on. 

“The details of those relationships aren’t important. What is important is that they both were very physically intimate people. They both liked to indulge in sex quite a lot. And I tried to satisfy them both when I was with each of them. But I felt…uncomfortable, with how much it happened.” Alastor shifts, pulling his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. Lucifer can see his eyes now but not the rest of his face. His eyes are dark and they are facing down. Away from him. “My first relationship was with a woman. And naturally I lost my virginity to her. But I remember my reaction to sex itself was just… ‘that's it?’ She seemed to enjoy it and love it. But I didn’t, not really.  I liked that it made her happy. I tried to like it as much as her. For her.” 

Lucifer remembered Alastor discussing his second relationship briefly, on the night of their first kiss. He remembered that one was with a man. He briefly wondered if Alastor was into both men and women or just men now? Another time…

“Eventually, we’d been together for long enough that I thought I could bring my discomfort to her. And talk about it. But she took it as an insult. That just because I didn’t particularly enjoy sex itself, I didn’t love her. But that wasn’t what I was trying to say. However she didn’t see it that way,” he pauses. Lucifer sees the way Alastor’s shoulders tighten. “She looked at me like something was wrong with me. And that was that. And I was on to my next relationship within a year. You already know about that one. But what you don’t know is that the end result was more or less the same.”

Lucifer wants to hug him. …He doesn’t.

“I…I actually quite enjoyed Vox’s personality. He was similar to me, in a way. We both liked to dance, we liked jazz and singing. We shared a lot of common interests. And once again I thought we’d be on the same page if I voiced my discomfort. But again, he had a similar reaction. He didn’t take my statement as not loving him, but took it as there being something wrong with me. ‘How can a man not love sex. You're a man. Are you sure you like men? Because maybe you just prefer to bed a woman.’ Is essentially what he told me.”

“What a dick.” Lucifer mutters, unable to help it.

Alastor actually chuckles, just a little.  “Yes that…didn’t feel too nice to hear.” He shrugged, “he also said that it was something I’d learn to like in time. And that I was just getting bored, or it was because it was new. So…we tried a lot of things. …I tried a lot of things for him. But I didn’t like any of them. I liked how he seemed to like it. But, I didn’t like it. And I didn’t really like how much we did it. I just wanted to hang out or cuddle honestly. Having sex was…fine, once in a while but I felt guilty. Like, there was something wrong with me because I was never as into it as they were.”

“In the time I’ve come to get to know you, Lucifer. I’ve learned you are a very open-minded and down to earth man. That’s something I’m very grateful for, because it was something those two lacked. But you are still a man, a person. And I imagine you still have needs and desires. And…” Alastor hesitates, he swallows and continues a bit more cautiously. “Truth be told, I’m a bit scared. That I will disappoint you the same way I disappointed them. So, that's why I’m bringing this up now. I do adore you, and Charlie. But I can understand if this…if me being broken like this deters you from going any further in this relationship.”

“Alastor.” Lucifer says abruptly, Alastor flinches. He flinches?! Lucifer tried to hold his tongue but couldn't help it anymore. So he lets everything spill out about what he’s been thinking. Uncaring of how messy it comes out. 

“There’s not a damn thing wrong with you Alastor. You're not broken or anything.” The brunette finally looks at him, and he’s…surprised? Taken aback? Like he was expecting him to say something else. Lucifer continues. “Look, I…I’m not really that into sex either. I like it, sure. But that's not all there is to a relationship.” He shrugs, his cheeks tinting pink a little but he continues to look at Alastor. He needs to know Alastor is listening. “I love hanging out with you, I love it when you go with me and Charlie on outings.” He pauses, taking one of Alastor's hands in his own and squeezing it. Alastor smiles. Lucifer does too. “I like this. Just sitting here in bed with you. I like having these sleepovers where we just lay in bed and talk about things we like. Or talk about our day…I like you. And I want you to be comfortable with me. I don’t think it’s weird that you aren’t into sex. It’s fine. And you shouldn’t think you're broken or anything like that because you're not. You're amazing Alastor. And if you're not super into sex that’s completely fine with me. As long as I can still smother you with kisses.`` He pauses, “if that's something you're comfortable with?”

Alastor grins. His face lights up. “Always.” Lucifer pulls Alastor in for a hug and he gladly accepts. Pressing his face against Lucifer's shoulder. Lucifer holds him there like he’s protecting him from the world. And Alastor holds onto him with a new found love.  “Should we ever get to that bridge though…” Alastor says, his voice a little muffled but Lucifer can understand him. “I…I wouldn’t be against it. With you.” 

He can see the tips of Alastor’s ears tinting red. But he doesn’t make a comment on it. “Yeah well…” Now Lucifer blushes. “Likewise. But…let’s just enjoy being together for right now.” 

Alastor hums, more than happy to do that. His body finally relaxes in Lucifer’s hold and before either of them know it they’ve fallen asleep. 

He dropped his breakfast 😔

Enid Sinclair enjoys making dad jokes for two reasons one because most dad jokes are so horrible they’re funny and two Wednesday hates dad jokes because she doesn’t understand half of them and it’s entertaining seeing Wednesday ‘I know everything’ Addams be clueless abt something

(Thank you for coming to my TedTalk)

Schnees doodle

(Thanks @pidgelings for providing the pictures TwT!)

Bless this comic for all the plance scenes (Pidge explaining things to Lance is my kink).