Utsusemimaru - Tumblr Posts

Lead Me In a Waltz (Kyoryuger fic)

Summary:

A man displaced, a time lost, comrades lost and somehow never quite had in earnest, a golden hued responsibility. A man found, a new time to find himself in, comrades made and now actual friends he isnt used to having, but the same old responsibility.

How much of Utsusemimaru is allowed to be out in the open when his new friends are trying so hard to welcome him? And how much of his fretting is over nothing when his friends just want him as he is, with all that entails.

To read on AO3, follow the link below. To read here, continue past the read more!

“Your lord is your lord, I am me. I am not your lord, I’m King!”

He said it like it was so easy, like a few words with conviction would completely change the heart of a man that’s held onto an image for over 400 years. Oh if only it were so… Even right now, Utsusemimaru could see it all so vividly, as if nothing had changed in all that time. As if right now were another night of celebration after day’s hard fighting out on the battlefield, blood dried in flecks across his cheeks and clothes but his smile came easy with the company he kept.

Unless directly requested by his daimyo to be at hand, he would usually take to sitting out on one of the wooden steps or at the lip of the porch facing the surrounding forests of their land that seemed to cradle their village away from the fighting he spent so much of his short life entrenched in. A little paradise made of farmer’s fair and small shared houses built in a group effort of everyone even the Daimyo himself to secure the timber and straw into a usable structure. He would take a tokkuri of sake for himself and maybe some kibi dango or even some of those sweeter rice cakes with red bean filling or the occasional fruit paste inside if they did exceptionally well or were sent spoils from neighboring allies. 

He would just happily keep to himself and look to the moon and the stars shining down above them, the wind warmed by summer even as it breezed against his skin and through his hair. These were the moments he fought for; having been taken in from wandering with nothing to getting to fight and be trusted with a home, a reason to go on in his Daimyo, a place of peace he was allowed to partake in with welcome. After the first year or so of fighting under Iwaizumi-dono, his fellow samurai had mostly stopped trying to pull him back inside for proper festivities and settled for offering a smile or wave with the odd drunken comment, knowing he meant well but their efforts would be wasted.

In the later years, when the fight against the Deboth army had begun and his fighting had taken on yet more responsibility and weight, Torin would sometimes join him in the moonlight air like this. They’d silently pass between them the tokkuri of sake and simply enjoy the company and occasional gentle touch; a hand overtop claw, wing wrapped around shoulders to keep the other warmer in the cooling air of the harsher months. When battles were harder, and losses greater, sometimes he’d even allow the respite of pressing his cheek into the other’s shoulder to just let his weight be held by someone else just for a little while. But in the early years as he had more commonly come to dwell on like this, it was always those tell tale footsteps on wood. Heavy footfalls but uneven as their owner more likely had hopped or jumped between steps than strode properly like his station would befit, just so he could come out to Utsusemimaru’s company.

He was a stern and serious man, but when responsibility gave in to indulgence and peace times, Iwaizumi Moushinosuke was a man that could offer the warmest of smiles and confident grins. He would bring himself out to the quiet the gold samurai had found for himself just to shatter it with a loud laugh or a rough smack to the other’s shoulder as he chastised him for not joining them proper. It was one of the few interactions that Utsusemimaru found less measured, allowing him the room to breathe and say no as he felt comfortable outside of the constraints of lord and vassal. And so he would smile and offer some excuse or a more indulgent non dismissive waving off for his lord to enjoy the spoils of his victory, and he would often either head back inside appeased his warrior was not in poor spirits or stay to hassle him until the not so young daimyo felt satisfied.

“Oi! Ucchii, what are you doing out here? Amy just got here with the snacks and food from the cafe, don't you wanna snag some?”

“Ucchii…” 

He hadn’t caught the slip of the nickname tumbling past his own lips, more feeling it out as a reminder to himself than any real sentiment or question. That was right, Iwaizumi-dono had never given such things as a nickname to him, his name a proud title to bear as a warrior of his home that was also proudly and freely given to the young warrior. No, as easy as the past was to lose himself in, he was truly thrust into a future he had not fully acclimated to as much as Amy-dono had claimed he was fitting in too easily. 

He shook his head a bit, turning to face King-dono a bit behind himself and trying his best not to let any physical reaction through when he was still startled despite expectation at the man that shared his late daimyo’s face.

“Ah, is that so? I will come in a bit later if such an allowance could be given. I wish to enjoy the night air a bit longer, it’s…nostalgic.”

Seeming to ignore the obvious polite dismissal, King easily made his way to almost drop himself down into a seat on the edge of the porch next to his golden companion. 

They had all gathered at Souji’s house due to the residence having enough branching off rooms that they could host a small dinner party together there without taking up space the rest of anyone’s families would be in. It didn't help that Souji’s father enjoyed indulging King’s whims out of appreciation for his brave warrior spirit and for looking after his son. Yes they had made to enjoy the night together as a late celebration for Utsusemimaru joining them properly, events at the time itself being a bit too busy for anyone to find a clear date everyone could meet up outside of combat required time. Their Ucchii seemed to be happy in their company once misunderstandings had been cleared away, and all had had some time in reaching out in their own ways to him which were with almost blind trust and a nervous smile accepted gladly. So King had thought this would be a good thing, but the smile on his friend's face felt tired and put-on, had he been wrong? His nakama were all pretty dishonest in their own ways, though Utsusemimaru seemed the easiest to catch at it since he didn't seem to enjoy or try to lie.

“Nostalgic?” he prodded, hoping maybe he could get the gold ranger to admit on his own what was gnawing at him. In response he got a nod before the other had pulled his legs up into his chest, his arms and then chin resting atop his knees as his gaze moved back out to the gardens beyond the porch.

“This place and time are…hard to grasp sometimes, so when something is similar enough to a place i remember from before, i find myself seeing what once was more than what currently is. Tonight is something akin to those types of places. I apologize, I do not mean to seem…ungrateful for what you all have done for me. What you are doing right now simply for my sake, you’re kind and I am honored to fight with you all at your sides. But…”

He struggled to find the right words, unsure whether being too earnest would be taken as trust or taken as something unwanted and unfair. To hold them to the standards of people long since gone, people they could never know and a time they had long since left behind in so many ways, that wasn't fair or right. But it was what he knew, and until just some time ago it was what had been his reality until it suddenly wasn't now. He never even got time to grieve, his rage had simply carried him forward until everything suddenly wasn't anything at all. And then he was back to himself, and he was oh so very lost but his duties were still the same so he pressed on. It needed to be seamless, he needed to be because there was no other option, but-

His thoughts were jolted to a stop as he felt the sudden warmth of something pressed against his side; King had scooched over until their hips and sides were pressed together, the red ranger’s arm snaking behind and around Utsusemimaru’s hunched back to grab firmly at his right shoulder for purchase.

“K-king-dono?”

His confusion was answered with a smile, it wasn't big and bright and blinding like it could be, but it was full of some hard to define warmth all the same. It was small and soft, closed lips and a quirk of the corners of his mouth and carried a bit of sadness to it.

“Tonight is for you, so you can spend it however you want. Now if that means we go inside and eat with everyone else that’s great! But. we can also wait a bit longer and sit here too. The stars are kinda hard to see here in the city, but if you really look you can still spot some trying their best to compete for a spotlight.”

Utsusemimaru wasn't quite sure what happened in the next moments, it wasn't based on a conscious thought or emotion he could place, but when he tried to open his mouth to respond what bubbled past his lips instead was a soft sob, a choked sound really. It wasn't loud and it was just once, but that was all it took to draw out a strong burning feeling across his face as tears pricked his eyes and he fought to keep the painful lump building in his throat and stomach down. King didn't acknowledge it, instead simply pulling gold into red a bit more tightly and with his free hand he started pointing out and trying to name the stars he could pick from the sky to show his companion. It didn't matter that Utsusemimaru wasn't really looking with him or focusing on his words, he just kept it up while his friend pushed his face down into his thighs and quietly fought with himself and the sadness of mourning he had never the time to spare for the past 400 years.

He eventually lost the battle to his tears, but he refused to simply sit here and wail like a child any more than he was. He didn't have the time, the allowance to do so, not when so much was happening and not when he could put that energy into his new friends instead and be productive. Besides, he didn't want all of the other rangers who had come together to celebrate and have fun to feel obligated to his childish upset. There was nothing he could do, so he didn't understand why he felt so compelled to cry over it now of all times. Yet here he was anyway, unable to stop.

It felt like hours, just huddled there on the porch, the cool night air causing the occasional shiver in one or the other but King never made the attempt to move away and Utsusemimaru wasn't quite sure he wanted him to, but eventually he felt his tears slow to a manageable degree where he could start cleaning himself up and moving past the moment, so he pulled his face up and with some degree of discomfort from stiffness, he stretched his legs out a bit to make moving to swipe at his face easier. King loosened his grip, moving his hand from shoulder to cup loosely at the back of his comrade’s neck: a stable presence but not in the way.

It took him a bit to feel confidant he wouldn't have wet tear trails on his cheeks or snot on his upper lip (none to mention making sure his pants were not in some kind of state from the crying fit either), but when he looked to be as in order as he could, he chanced a look to his right meeting expectant but not urging dark eyes.

“I…,” he paused, clearing his throat a bit before trying again, “I think I would like to see what types of food Amy-dono was kind enough to bring us. I would hate to see anything go to waste or to not show my humble thanks for everyone’s efforts.”

King offered him a wide smile, nodding enthusiastically and making to stand quickly in what was more of a hop up onto his feet than anything else. 

“Well then, c’mon Ucchii! The ice cream might be melted by now, let’s hurry!” 

He grabbed the other by the forearm, outright dragging him behind him and, for Utsusemimaru, thankfully missing the chaotic sprawl he had to take to shift from seated position to the brisk trot he was being expected to match. It was only down a single walkway so it was a mercifully short dragging before they both stood before a sliding wood door. With a glance for approval and a nod of acceptance in return, King turned and all but threw the door open in his excitement, waving to everyone with the hand still around the gold ranger’s arm, shaking both their arms in the air as result. Utsusemimaru smiled sheepishly, waving properly with his free hand.

“I apologize for my tardiness, everyone. Um…thank you, for having me.” 

Amy just smiled and offered, “well of course!” with a nod and soft smile from Souji, while the others seemed to consider his choice of words a bit more closely. Seeing the looks on their faces made him tense a bit, already guessing maybe he wasn’t as ready to be seen as he thought, so he offered in a lighter tone:

“I was told there was ice cream?”

The rest of the night was spent with Utsusemimaru being firmly kept in the middle of everyone at the low table they had pulled into the room, those around him rotating throughout the night. Amy-dono was happy to keep offering him food and drinks one after another, until even he with his healthy appetite couldn't take anymore. Souji-dono kept at more a distance, but was happy to offer the occasional conversation and ask questions about the samurai’s experiences and training to maybe glance how to learn from and best him later. He had right away fallen in love with the boy’s strong and ferocious appetite for the forms of the blade; he made an excellent sparring partner and trusted friend.

Nossan-dono had let himself be a bit more exaggerated in his jokes and his physical affections, making to good naturedly pat the others shoulder or back with every joke or making sure they brushed some kind of skin when passing anything. King-dono was ever himself, so of course proving ever tactile he kept trying to coax whatever he could from the gold ranger anywhere from questions about a story told or outright leaning on him entirely and laughing all but in his ear to get some kind of reaction. 

Ian-dono was who surprised him the most, one who proved the best at both convincing others of a version of himself he wasn't as well as pulling apart the falsehoods of others around him. He had been the most overt in his action, outright pulling Utsusemimaru up on his feet and into a dance when someone, likely Nossan-dono, had taken to playing music from their phone speaker as conversations lulled periodically. It had been an overly formal bow and offer of the hand, to which gold met black as he placed his in the offered hand and was gently pulled up to his feet and a bit aside to a more open area of the room’s floor. It wasn’t a dance type the samurai had ever performed or seen, but it was easy enough to let himself be led by his companion in the simple back and forth steps and frequent gentle spins in, out, and back into Ian-dono’s arms. 

It was as the music started to hit its crescendo and upped in pace that Ian-dono gave him a pointed look before leading him into a low dip, Utsusemimaru’s back arched to drape him over the other’s bent knee and their faces close as Ian-dono leaned down to meet his gaze better. He blinked up, a bit startled by the sudden surprise of the move but before he could speak, his dance partner spoke low in a tone only he could hear with how close they were.

“We like seeing your smile, Ucchii, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to lean on us too. Just let us lead you in a waltz sometimes instead of trying to strongarm your way on your own. You’re close enough to hold on to, don’t keep us apart alright?”

Still reeling from the gentle tone and soft intensity of the moment Ian-dono had pulled him back up into a standing position as the song had seemed to end in the midst of their momentary exchange. Everyone clapped good naturedly and the black ranger made an exaggerated bow and shot off some flattery or other at someone. Utsusemimaru couldn't tell as he awkwardly made his way back to his designated seat for the night.

Was he so obvious? Or maybe the better question was, was he so blind to what was obviously right before him? He felt his face grow a bit warm, whether in embarrassment or shame he couldn't tell, for having ignored the kindness of his fellows that was so freely and frequently thrust towards him. Yes, he would have to try harder to let them lead him through things more often perhaps. It wasn't trust but his weak heart that stopped him, but if they wanted that of him too, well he certainly could offer it. While he was at it, maybe being led more literally through a “waltz” like that again would do him some good too. It was quite fun getting to dance with Ian-dono, he wondered what kinds of dances his other friends would have to offer.

Hues of Blue (Kyoryuger fanfic)

Summary:

Utsusemimaru was always happy to spend time with his precious comrades and their families as he was privy to, it was an honor really. Though it hasn't quite sunk in yet for him that they're happy to spend time with him too and that he's just as much their family now as anyone else. Yuko and Rika do their best to try and show him so though.

Tears in Ebony Arms (kyoryuger fanfic)

Summary:

“...Forgive me…this weakness of mine…”

“Ucchii, this isn’t a weakness, that’s not fair. What happened to you wasn’t fair, none of this is-”

“As all men are made of their choices and experiences, I too am made up of my weaknesses and regrets Ian-dono.”

“You’re not weak, Ucchii. Not for this or anything else.”

“...I’m the weakest man I've ever known.” It sounded almost like a plea, as if he was trying to convince the black ranger beside him of this truth.

“You’re one of the bravest people I know, Ucchii.”

A scar map/diagram for ucchii based on a mix of what we see in the show and some headcanons

Art based on a moment I really really liked from an rp with @phantomraidou and @muzzleofnemesis

Utter indulgence for myself based on conversations and an rp with @muzzleofnemesis . Ucchii and Chase are on a little ice cream date