Spilled Poem - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
So are you going to wait for that stranger to come or are you going on that journey ?
trying
they say you’ll know
when someone loves you.
but I love you,
yet you don't know it
i fail to tell you
over and over.
the words are at the tip of my tongue,
threatening to pour out,
but what comes out instead
is venom that scalds your skin.
i swear im trying
my best; this beast
is terrifying. More so
than the thought of you
disappearing. It appears
that im just afraid
to admit it–
to you, to myself.
and I'm hoping,
that your love
will be sustenance enough
for you and me both.
I should have left
when the kisses moved from my lips to my cheeks.
I should have left
when the warm hugs
turned into quick brushes.
I should have left
when a cold shoulder replaced
the one I leaned on.
When a few words
sparked arguments
and hour long silences,
I should have turned my back on you.
But I didn't
And that's my mistake to bear.
You were bitter
so, so bitter,
but your sweet aftertaste
had me coming back for seconds
and more.
I should have left when
my name on your lips stopped sounding like music
and your eyes
no longer held all the stars
in the night sky.
I should have left you
the moment we fell out of love.
you don’t know how much you meant to me.
how the words that left your lips
pierced my heart,
lurking in my head for hours.
how the sweet texts you sent
are locked up in my gallery
after all these months.
i look at them sometimes,
the screenshots taking me back
to a time that may have existed,
to a version of us
that looks perfect
in the haze of nostalgia.
is that a smile or a grimace?
a bittersweet taste on my tongue.
you don’t know how much you meant to me.
that drunken voice note still haunts me.
“i love you”s whispered in the dead of the night.
hours before dawn broke;
days before your heart did too.
i'm not sorry though.
i was sick of us,
sick of running in circles,
of the loop we were stuck in,
of our never-ending endings,
one step forward, two steps back.
you were a habit I couldn’t break,
but it was time to stop.
like a wilted flower clinging to a branch,
it was time to let go.
old habits die hard,
but as the nostalgia fades,
reality slams into me in waves.
and I’m glad I never told you
just how much you meant to me.