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𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝑜𝓃 𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒽

ੈ✩‧₊˚ mornings are always blissful with xavier by your side

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warnings:- unprotected sex, cock warming, somnophilia, morning sex, messy sex, clit play, nipple play, sleepy xavier, breathplay, just me tearing up and giving xavier all the love he deserves

ੈ✩‧₊˚ i love him sm i need to talk abt xav xav more . . . my little bun bun of a man

Mornings are always blissful with Xavier by your side. The sun streaming past the thin blinds, illuminating the silver of his hair, highlighting the princely bridge of his nose, made your heart somersault right in your chest.

And yet, what he was doing to you wasn't exactly in your plans for a lazy Saturday morning.

“Xav…”

Your whimpers carry past the layers of cotton; muffled, yet heard by him all the same.

His hips snap heavily into yours, one hand on your lower back, the other twined above your splayed palm. 

"Mhmmph," you whine.

“Are you alright?”

His breathy question strikes lightning up your spine, especially when the tip of his cock catches on a spongy spot in your cunt that has you squeezing down tightly on him. 

“Fuck…” he moans shakily. 

You can’t see him, but can plainly imagine the knit of his brows. His perfect lips shaped into an ‘O’. 

The image burns into your memory like a flash of light, and your thighs clench, pussy fluttering like a heartbeat.

“... close,” you murmur. 

He slides a hand underneath your stomach, lifting you up slightly to get a better leverage. 

“Yeah?” Xavier sounds strained. “Me too, beautiful.”

His cock twitches within your walls, and you squirm, fighting back the cresting pleasure to focus on cumming together.

“Give it to me, please,” you gasp, lifting your head up and turning to catch his eye. 

Xavier feels like he’s on cloud nine; that little, desperate look you give when you have three seconds of eye contact gets him harder. 

He hums, thrusts growing erratically. Below, a wet patch is starting to form on the gray sheets, a cumulation of both your excitement.

It should gross him out, but all he feels is an enthralling sense of pride. 

Your pussy is gushing, lewd sounds filling the air and making his brain go hazy. The string of fairy lights in your room casts a warm glow across your back, and Xavier leans in to place hot stamps up your shoulders; across your neck.

Your pussy throbs at his affection, and you whimper his name again. 

Good girl… make a mess for me. 

It’s impossible to resist his low and husky drawl. 

The band in your belly tightens, coils, and then snaps.

More wetness gushes forth from where you’re connected, spilling out in between the cracks of your bodies till you’re limp and drained.

Xavier, Xavier, Xavier, you call out his name, fisting the sheets in your delirium. 

The weight of his body sinks into you, driving you deeper into the mattress. 

Xavier’s dense breaths hit your cheek and neck, the stringy warmth filling you up wells and threatens to spill.

But, he’s faster. 

Turning you in his arms, your lover presses your back to his chest, free arm under your head while the other drapes around your chest, pulling you tighter to him.

A comforting blanket of silence settles over the two of you, and he murmurs your name in his drowsy state.

His cock remains plugged inside of you, keeping his warmth and cum safe in your walls.

You try to paw his arm off you to clean up, but Xavier was having none of that.

“Let’s go to sleep,” he mumbles tiredly. “We can do this later.”

“Mhm... Xav,” you whine, and he chuckles.

Nosing your hair, he settles on kissing your pulse point. Cheekily, his hand cups your tit, thumb gently running circles on your stiffening nipple. You squirm, feeling his cock twitch deep inside of you.

“No,” he says tiredly. “Sleep. Now.” 

You’re making it hard not to. 

But, you don’t get to bite that quip back to him.

Xavier’s already nodding off, breathing growing heavier.

Despite your discomfort, you drift off soon after him, safe in the circle of his arms; his presence a warm light you could bask in forever.

Sweet dreams, you feel him mouth into your skin. I’m here, my little light.

Loving Xavier comes with the territory of lazy mornings and even more languid sex.

You wake up with his cock slowly easing and out of you, inert thrusts rutting against your walls. Blinking wearily, you feel him kissing up your neck; boldly smoothing his palm down your belly and pushing your thighs apart to dive straight to your sensitive core.

Still tender from last night, he rubs sweet circles onto your twitchy clit, focused on building up your release.

You reel back, teeth catching on your lower lip. “Mhmmm…”

His ash blonde lashes flutter against your throat. A soft kiss is placed right in the hollow of your pulse point.

“Good morning,” he mumbles huskily.

You flit your gaze to the outside world, weak sunshine streaming past the thin curtains.

“It’s early,” you whisper, trying hard to ignore how the circles on your clit were growing faster and erratic.

“Mhm,” Xavier moans. He mouths at your neck, leaving hot kisses all over the strip of vulnerable skin.

You feel the ache rising, stoking to a fever pitch.

Like his swordsmanship, Xavier was swift at striking right where it mattered. He puts you on your back, gazing down at you with soft, azure eyes that leaves your heartbeat stuttering.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he mumbles. “All open and spread wide for me.”

He’s one to talk, you exasperate. 

With his tousled light hair, swollen lips and heavy lidded gaze, Xavier looks like he was made to be used first thing in the morning.

He grips the plush fat of your thighs, spreading you wider to accommodate his slim build in between your legs.

His cock pulses inside of you—hot and heavy. Stickiness from yesterday’s fun dribbles out of your puffy hole, staining the bed with a thick white. It causes a slippery mess, joining the slick of sweat smearing across the already soiled sheets.

Xavier can’t be bothered to see past the lust fringing his vision; tunneling right onto your tits which were jiggling with every hard slam of his cock into you.

He paws at the right one, pinching your nipple till it swells and stiffens in his firm grip.

Your hips buck, a low moan slipping past your clenched teeth.

“You’re too irresistible,” he grunts. 

You don’t have time to respond, not when he pries you up to your knees and lets you lean back against his chest. 

This position is new—his cock bullies its way back into your hole and he has the liberty to grip your throat with every heavy slam. 

Lithe fingers slip in between your spread legs, finding your puffy clit and giving it a few taps.

You squeal, flinching from the overstimulation.

“Xavier… oh my god… feels so good,” you’re babbling now, unable to think straight.

The entire universe is condensed to the sensation of his cock stretching you out until it burns; his fingers skillfully twisting and pinching your sensitive nub. 

Your ears are ringing, breaths coming out in foggy pants.

His lips are right at your ear, and his free hand clamps tighter on your neck.

“You should see yourself,” he breathes, beads of his sweat dripping onto your shoulder. “All spread out and taking me so well… I love you.”

His confession leaves something hot and achy in your chest. It’s the first time he's ever uttered those words while inside of you.

“I love you, too,” you mumble tearily. His fingers dig tighter into your airway, choking off your devotion.

Shit, he gasps when you clench down on him. Gonna cum, my love… this pussy is too good. 

Xavier, you cry out his name, reaching back to clutch threads of his soft, ash-blonde locks.

He grunts, giving two more heavy thrusts—spilling inside of you just as your own orgasm crests.

Xavier! Your syrupy cry makes his ears ring. He's catching you, pressing you close and scooping up your melted body into his arms as the both of you slump back to the bed, already drained.

He chuckles tiredly, smoothing a peck onto your nose and cheeks as your release simmers; the pulsing pleasure finally become bearable. 

“I think… we may need to shower and change the bedsheets.”

Tiredly, you rub your nose with his, the icky, sticky feeling growing harder to ignore.

“Give me a few more minutes.” 

Wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders, you bury your face in his chest, inhaling the scent of his pine body wash and musk.

Xavier exhales, stroking your hair. “Take as many minutes as you need, my little light.”

You closed your eyes, feeling more content than you had ever dared. 

Work, Wanderers, protocores… they all fade in the background in your Xavier’s arms. 

He comforts you from the world, shields you from the pain and trauma with his steady strength.

No matter the cost, you would give up anything to be like this with him forever—cocooned in safety and idyllic peace.

Though you knew in your bones that nothing in this world was permanent, you thought you would never be able to forget how Xavier made you feel. 

He was your slice of heaven here on earth; he was all yours.

And in the morning peace, you drift off again with the reassurance that if nothing else belonged to you, you were certain that his love did.

— i need tew munch him and swallow him writing about him is not enough </3 reblogs and feedbacks will give you smooches 💋

©️ all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost, translate or recommend across any platform

MOONLIT DREAM

SUMMARY a budding jade aficionado receives a personal lesson from her lover

WARNINGS established relationship, outdoor sex, boat!sex, blasphemy, sensory deprivation (use of blindfolds), sensory play (with a brush), dirty talk, petnames (little love, little one), soft!zayne, orgasm control, edging, begging, fingering, dirty talk, marking, pulling out (zayne cums in his own hand cause he's a mf gentleman like that), astra hate, allusions to theories of zayne's myth, mdni, 18+

DAWN SAYS FIRST ONE IS HEREEE istg this event has me by the THROAT I know it isn't very canon-compliant but I wanted to do something based on the vibes I got from the cards so I hope you all enjoy this! I will eventually cross-post this to a03 so if you want to follow me there, it's under the same username! <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── SYLUS ⊱ XAVIER ⊱ RAFAYEL

The art of jade carving was slowly dying out.

Touted as a precious stone the color of rich grass, its value was placed not in its glossy, green finish, but on the weight of meaning it carried.

To gift someone a jade pendant meant you wished luck, prosperity and success on them. Mothers would often lend their sons their necklaces hidden in the lapels of their hanfu as they took their official tests, while a groom’s parents would adorn their new daughter-in-law with jade jewelry to bestow upon the newlywed couple blessings of marital bliss and harmony. 

On nights like these, you liked to wander these grand, opulent hallways, lost in thought as the glimmering green gems twinkled from ceilings, pillars and statues.

The moon was bright tonight as you caught sight of Zayne, a royal court physician your family had connections to. 

(And who was also, your secret-not-so-secret lover). 

He was struggling under the weight of his documents, and you rushed forward to greet him, calling out his name. 

“Y/N—there you are,” he gave you a small smile, warmth twinkling behind his green eyes. The sheen of them reminded you of how jade shone. “What’re you doing up so late? The moon is bright tonight.”

You flushed, gathering yourself before you divulge your deepest thoughts to him. “I was up till yesterday night trying to read up on jade carving. Did you know the practice is diminishing?”

Zayne, though not much of a man of the arts, could concede on your astute observation. “I see,” he teased, “And you thought that by devouring clips of them, you might have a chance to save this dying art?” 

Used to his teasing, you huffed and wagged your finger. “At least I am dedicated to a cause that matters. Tell me, Mr. Zayne, don’t you have a passion you want to protect, too?”

At your question, his eyes softened.

“Perhaps.” He glanced at the number of documents in his hand. “I have some summons to work on. Maybe you might like to keep me company and tell me all about your discoveries of jade carving while I work?”

The offer sounded too good to resist. You followed him down the hallway and into the vacant space—an unoccupied room linking right to the court library. It was connected by a veranda, where the man-made lake ran around it, a shallow body of water meant for aesthetic purposes commissioned by the emperor himself. A pile of scrolls laid on the shiny, mahogany desk, and you realized too late that you were in his private office.

“Zayne—”

While the idea of spending more time with him was intriguing, you couldn't risk a court scandal by being seen with a man at such late hours. He didn’t stop you when you stood, though the look in his eyes held you back from leaving too soon.

“It is fine, Y/N. I have checked for guards and there are none at this hour. Besides, aren’t we both past the boundaries of such careless affection?”

He grabbed your hand, and you let him tug you closer. Sitting in his embrace, you relished in the secrecy of your meetings under the moon, this hidden fondness belonging only to you two. 

“I wish to hold you forever like this.” Zayne was not someone who waxed lyrical about his feelings, but tonight felt different.

Far more intimate.

His touch echoed with shades of absolute need when he tilted your face up, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

“I have a surprise for you,” he whispered.

Intrigued, you let him take your hand, stepping out of the balcony and onto the connected veranda. You hadn’t immediately noticed a line of candles sat by the edge of the water, too caught up in his embrace. Zayne led you right to the makeshift dock where an ornate boat rocked in the man-made lake, stepping on its deck first before holding out a hand to you. 

Taking his familiar, calloused palm in yours, you lost your footing for a split second, tumbling right into his arms. 

“Oh—”

“I got you,” he murmured, righting you on your slippered-feet.

Zayne made sure you were alright and tightened his hand on yours, taking you into the anterior single cabin, where a smaller version of his desk stood, the light of the moon illuminating his warm cheeks.

“I thought we could spend some time here—away from any prying eyes.”

A smile spread across your face, delighting at this romantic and secluded initiative.

“I see. So, you have me trapped right in your hands while I ramble on about jade carving?”

You should have known your lover always had a special trick up his sleeve. He wasn’t called the brightest official without his uncanny knack for deciphering what it is people around him truly wanted.

“No.” 

He gestured for you to sit on the plush cushions, and removed a box from the side of the hull, opening it. Bringing out paint brushes, scrolls, newly minted jade pendants and glass bowls which he filled with water. Zayne let you touch them, enamored by your bright gaze and excitement.

"You... remembered?"

He smiled. "Of course, I did."

Touching your cheek, he said, "When your lover develops a fixation on something, you do your best to try and satisfy her."

Pleased and slightly flattered, you turned your attention to the rows of jade waiting for you.

“Are we sending our wishes to be carved on these pendants?” 

Fondly, he nodded.

“Yes. I thought this would be a great step in our courtship—to have our wishes bestowed on these jade jewels for us to wear. A memento of our love.”

You flashed him a smile so bright, it could rival the moon up above.

Sitting down next to him, Zayne watched as you dipped your brush in ink, slowly filling up the scroll with your earthly desires which the jade carver would put onto these pendants. 

I wish for Zayne to always be healthy and happy, you fluidly etched onto the paper. I wish for him to find success in court. To grow in his filial piety and strength. May he always be kind, courteous and brave.

Glancing at him, you were surprised to find him dozing off, elbow perched on the mahogany desk, head laid resting against a closed palm. The lights from the palace veranda and the moon in the sky played with the shadows on his face, making him look younger than his years of twenty-seven. The innocent curve of his brow, the slight parting of his thin lips, stirred a desire within you. 

A need to push him and see how much he could take before he broke.

Grinning to yourself, you picked up the prep calligraphy brush, still dripping with cool water, and gently ran the bristles over his lower lip. Zayne grunted in his doze, but didn’t stir, exhausted from his duties to pay your foolery any mind. You smirked, wondering if he would feel it when you dragged the brush down his jaw.

Still—nothing. 

Besides a furrow in his brow, Zayne remained locked in his slumber. A part of you wondered if the sensation felt akin to cool wind brushing his skin, and you decided to up the ante. 

Taking the brush down to his neck, this time you managed to garner a sweet, sweet visceral reaction from him. 

Zayne’s nose twitched, a sound of consternation and… desire?... leaving his lips. 

He sighed. You paused.

Tucking your lower lip in between your teeth, you took the brush now to the hollow dip of his collarbones. Another sigh, another baited breath.

But, he didn’t open his eyes.

Growing bolder, you glided the brush down the groove of his toned chest, mesmerized by the silvery trail of water left behind—a delicate mark of your teasing on his pale skin.

A part of you wanted to see what his entire body would look like ‘painted’ with these slick marks; your curiosity mingled with a stirring desire to have him completely under your spell. 

As you dragged the damp brush down to his chest, intent on finishing up your canvas for the night, you felt the gentle grasp of his hand around your wrist, stopping your descent from going any lower.

“I see I woke up at the wrong time,” he teased.

Whatever remained of his nightly exhaustion dissipated, his breathtaking green eyes gauging your reaction with the ghost of a smirk tugging the corners of his mouth. 

Zayne’s skin and lips were tingling from the effects of your little ‘painting session’.

As much as the hunger inside of him was roaring to overcome you, he wanted to see what you would do next; how else you would surprise him. 

Deciding to tease him even more, you dropped the calligraphy brush, hearing it roll onto the barge’s floor somewhere under the desk. You slid your fingers across his hand, feeling his touch gliding on your open palm.

“Carving jade requires a clear mind,” you murmured, your fingertips breaching the hem of his ornate cuffs, touching the warm skin of his wrist underneath the clothes. “This is a test.”

Zayne was not expecting you to tighten your grip on his wrist, or for you to boldly drag him on top of you. 

His gasp brushed the tender shell of your ear, the heat of his body on top of yours made you shiver.

“How bold you are, little one,” your lover murmured, settling on his elbow to gaze down at you, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “You are quite commendable indeed—getting a court official into such a… compromising position.”

The moon glowed, the broadness of his shoulders eclipsing its luminescent rays from fully spilling onto both your tangled bodies.

“I merely wanted to share my passions with a certain court official, but it appears he found the entire ordeal boring,” you quipped back, throwing in an eye roll for added effect. 

His thin lips twitched in amusement, the hand on your cheek moving down to briefly cup your jaw. “Alright, then. Why don’t we make your little session a bit more interesting for me?” 

Before you could ask, he took the discarded brush you had dropped, dipping it in a pot of water. Dabbing off the excess, he touched the firm tip to your cheek, his jade green eyes darkening with an unnamed emotion.

“You speak while I simply… listen... and return your little painting favor. Whoever can retain their composure without breaking first will win a month’s worth of rabbit candy.”

Not one to refute his games or back down from a dare, you raised a brow. “Are you questioning my resolve, Mr. Zayne?” 

He forced back a huff of laughter, trying to retain his equanimity. 

(Which was steadily chipping away the more you provoked him). 

Zayne hummed. “I do not question it. I want to test it.”

As he spoke, he glided the cool paintbrush from your cheek to jaw. “And to make this more fun for me since I have not heard of the intricacies of jade carving, I want to test your knowledge further with this—”

From his lapels, he removed a silk ribbon, one which you recognized to wrap up mooncake boxes. 

Flushing warmly from the implications of what he wanted to do next, you attempted to keep your voice steady, but failed.

“Playing dirty, Mr. Zayne? I never mistook you for such a bad sport.”

A glimmer of mischief ignited in his eyes, and he placed the paintbrush down next to your neck, coaxing you to raise your head so he could wrap the soft strip around your eyes.

“You are always testing my resolve. You should know I always repay the favor.” 

Despite the intensity of his request, a playful intimacy remained between the two of you. Whatever happened, you always trusted Zayne to put your wellbeing and dignity above everything else.

“Alright.” 

You raised your head, letting him tie the makeshift blindfold around your eyes. 

Hidden in darkness, you could only rely on your senses of touch and hearing to guide you on what was happening. You heard the rustle of the paintbrush picked up again by your ear, felt the damp tip on your jaw. Zayne glided the brush down the side of your neck, secretly enjoying your quiet gasp of surprise.

“Now, little one,” he hummed. “Tell me all about the intricacies of jade carving since you know them so very well.”

Your heart was pounding, but you managed to keep your calm when you recited the first fact to pop into your mind. 

“U-um… j-jades were known as the ‘essence of heaven and earth’.” Your gasp melted into a stifled moan at the sensation of his warm lips chasing after the cool trickles of water left behind.

“I see. Enlightening. Do tell me more.”

His husky voice brushed the shell of your ear, and your stomach tightened in knots. 

Unfair. Zayne was unfairly using your weakness against you.

He knew you were always sensitive to his kisses; his touch. 

A bead of clear water trickles down your neck, and you struggle to think of the next fact as his lips follow the winding trail the liquid carved along your skin, each kiss soft and deliberate.

“Jade has a sharp resonance and that is why it was often used as chimes—mhm.”

He nuzzled his nose into your pulse point, inhaling the sweet scent of jasmine from your skin. 

“I am listening,” he reassured, and you could imagine the smirk playing on his lips. “And I am interested. What else is there for me to learn about jade, little one?”

As you fought hard to recall another fact, your hands instinctively tightened, crumpling the soft material of his hanfu in your grasp. 

“With n-new drilling tools, jade can now be made in larger scales of production—”

The sensation of bristles on your skin interrupted your train of thought. Nothing could have prepared you for the sting of his teeth biting down on your neck. Zayne’s heated breath caressed your sensitive throat, leaving goosebumps on your skin in their wake. 

“I think I have quite the knowledgeable grasp on this matter, little one.”

In a swift yet gentle motion, the blindfold melted off your eyes, and you caught Zayne gazing down at you affectionately. 

The damp brush and these damn games were discarded to the side in favor of him dragging you onto his lap, letting you sit astride him. 

Warmth suffused across your cheeks, and your entire body was tingling from the sensation of the rough bristles mingling with the contrasting tenderness of his lips on your skin. You felt the tension tightening in your belly, tensing the muscles on your thighs wrapped on either side of his waist.

Zayne took this opportunity to roam his hands across your back, down your sides—feeling the smoothness of your robe underneath his touch; the way you shivered as if caught in a chill.

“Are you afraid?” 

His gentle whisper was followed by a sweet kiss on your temple.

Yearning sparked from the tips of your fingers down to your toes.

You shook your head.

“No, Zayne.” 

Smiling to himself, Zayne cradled your head in his hands, nudging you further up the plush pillows he prepared for tonight. The sight of you, all sprawled out with the warm palace lights and the shining moon illuminating your flushed cheeks, looking far too ravishing for your own good filled his mind with a light-headed daze.

He couldn’t believe you were here, that you were his. 

A low grumble resonated from his chest, and he pressed his lips to your ear, delighting in your little shiver in response.

“You have to forgive me, little one. I cannot control myself when I am with you.”

His traced circles onto your cheek with his thumb, absorbing your hitched breath, the way your body shifted under his broader, muscular one. 

As he spoke, he planted a tender kiss on your cheek. 

“It is not my fault that someone gets distracted easily when carving intricate patterns… and appreciating the moon.” 

He pressed another soft kiss to your temple, worshiping you with his entire soul. 

Never mind that the bright lunar rays were burning into his skin. Or, he felt the unseeing eye studying his every move. 

All that mattered to him in this instant was you—your sounds, your sighs, the look of desire and love in your eyes. 

It was everything and more that Zayne could wish on his fallen luck. He wanted nothing more than to claim you under his god’s eye, defying logic and order to demonstrate his undying love for you. 

“Are you feeling what I am feeling as well, my little love?”

He looked to you for confirmation.

Consent.

You nodded wordlessly, threading your fingers through his hair.

“Yes, Zayne. I feel it.”

That was all the permission he needed. Zayne leaned in and captured your lips in a heated kiss, his desire for you pouring into every movement. Every breath. 

He needed to make you his completely; needed to love you with his entire being. 

His lips touched your ear again, his scratchy whisper igniting your desires. His nimble fingers, deft from years of practiced writing and studies, twined with yours, holding you impossibly close.

Another tender kiss right on your cheek. “Then we will just have to blame the craftsman… and the moon.”

Careful yet firm hands shed your robes from your body, the rocking boat adding momentum to your every movement. Zayne took his time to undress you, marveling as inches of flawless, moon-soaked skin appeared before his eyes. Taking his time to run his fingers over your body, he breathed you in, his eyes fluttering to half-mast as he savored this moment of peace. 

When your body was fully bared to him, he sucked in a deep breath.

“Beautiful,” he mumbled.

Zayne’s hands roamed your body with a newfound possessiveness, his expression a mix of tender yearning.

The sight itself was too much for you to bear; the shame, lust, and need coalescing together to bring you to your knees. 

You tugged him closer, unable to stand another minute apart from him. 

He fell right into your embrace, your eager hands undoing the loop of his hanfu, baring his full chest, dragging it down his shoulders. 

The act of undressing one another, meant for the marital doings of a husband and wife, felt natural when it came to Zayne.

Such love shared between the two of you sprung forth like a fountain, effortless in cascading your bodies in ebbs and flows. Zayne kissed you like you would disappear if he opened his eyes, his lips soft and tender against yours.

It made your heart full to bursting, overwhelmed by the love of it all.

Taking the lead, Zayne helped to reposition you on his lap, this new angle allowing you to control what came next.

The moon was his unwilling accomplice, painting you in the most alluring light. Its rays shone brightly, illuminating the brightness of your hair, your skin.

You gleamed like treasured jade right in his arms, and Zayne would never let you go again. Not in this life, or the next.

You were his to treasure, to hold. To cherish and love—his obedience to Astra be damned.

He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, bringing you into his arms; feeling you lift your hips and gingerly take him. The tightness of you, enveloping him slowly, drove him mad with need.

But, Zayne reined his lust in, focused on your pleasure. He would never do anything to hurt you; all he desired for was to see you happy. 

You are doing so well, he praised, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks. Good girl. That’s it—go on and make yourself feel good.

Emboldened by his praise, you braced your hands on his chest, wincing at the stretch. 

It wasn’t the first time you had taken him, your months of courtship blooming into a rapid need of each other.

But, it was the first time you were doing it so publicly, boldly declaring your claim on one another.

If anyone walked by, word would soon reach the wrong people of this escapade. But, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

You wanted Zayne, needed him like you needed air.

He was as enamored as you were, watching you take him. 

You were a vision above him, a moonlit dream he could only wish to hold onto for the rest of his life.

“You truly are the most beautiful sight I have ever seen,” he breathed, placing his palm on your cheek. The melted look of devotion in his eyes was second to how secure and safe he made you feel.

With Zayne, nothing was closed off or too much—everything was in order, right and sweet as it was meant to be.

Your head lolled back, the pleasure taking center stage to this act of consummation burning your veins.

“Zayne… you feel so good…”

The sound of his lover’s praise drove him into a frenzy, and he let his immaculate self-restraint slip; giving into the vulnerability. 

Zayne’s beautiful emerald eyes glimmered, taking in the heavenly sight of your smooth skin, your hard nipples carving a silhouette of erotic desire in the barely-lit night. 

He leaned up to gently run his tongue over them, trailing goosebumps across your chest. You moaned, lost in the haze of the pleasure, putty to his whims.

“I cannot believe you all mine…” His voice broke, trailing off into awe. 

Dedicated to showing you his entire devotion, Zayne let his innermost thoughts flow freely. 

“The way the moon shines upon you… the luster of your hair in the night… gods above, you feel like a fever dream, my love.”

A soft whimper left your kiss-swollen lips. Zayne ran his thumb over your lower lip. 

“Do you feel it?” His breath is heavy and desire-filled.

He could not wait to see you coming undone for him.

“How much do I belong to you?” Infused with yearning, his words made you tremble. “I am all yours tonight. I want to give you everything you desire.”

Zayne…

He grunted, the sound of his name on your lips a glimpse of heaven opening up.

Sweat beaded on his brow, a droplet trailing from between your breasts to roll down towards where you were connected.

Zayne halted its path with his tongue, lapping at it gently. He ran his tongue over the curve of your jaw, across your pulse point—stopping to nip and suck the tender flesh until he was sure the marks of his affection would bloom upon your skin.

The idea of anyone taking one look at you and immediately deducing you belonged to him drove him wild with desire.

He wanted to mark you, inside and out.

You belonged to him and no one else.

Not to the world, not to your people or your books.

But, to him.

And he belonged to you. 

The moon rays seemed to blister his skin, an angry curse waiting to consume him whole. But, Zayne didn’t care for the warning, making a mockery of his god by claiming his beloved right under His light.

He brought you in for a tender kiss, just as your walls shuddered around him. 

The romantic atmosphere, the way his tender gaze bore into your soul… was all too much for you to hold back.

But, before you could come undone, Zayne stilled your hips, a pinch on his brow.

He captured your lips in a heated kiss, one which silenced your moans and protests, giving you what you longed for.

Zayne picked up his pace, surprising you with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“That look on your face,” he murmured huskily. “I love it. I love when you rely on me to come undone, my love.”

Your toes curled, his heated words making a shiver of need run down your spine.

“Zayne…”

Yes, my love. He moved his hand between your thighs, teasing you with delicate circles on your flushed nub.

What is it you desire?

“You.” 

He smirked, hearing the desire and need in your tone.

“You have me.”

The ball of heat tightening in your belly demanded to be released.

No… I need you in a different way.

In what way? He raised a brow, looking irresistibly smug. 

Your lover intended for you to say it out loud. To tell him explicitly what it is you needed.

Wetting your lips, you shifted your hips, feeling the head of his length graze your sweet spot.

You winced, and murmured, I need you to make me come undone. 

But, Zayne was adamant on drawing out your needs.

“Just a little longer,” he promised. “I swear it will feel better once it is drawn out.”

You trusted him, letting him take his time.

“You’re pleasing me so well tonight, my love,” he praised in a soft voice, the look of devotion in his eyes never wavering. “I think I can give you what you are yearning for…”

However, his promises came with a caveat: 

“Only if you beg for it nicely.”

A jolt of arousal sparked through your bloodstream, tightening your walls around him.

Zayne grunted, his composure hanging by a loose thread.

The circles on your clit grew sloppier, a sign of his unraveling.

You couldn’t hold back the need any longer, digging your nails into his shoulders.

“Please…” your thin whisper illuminated the dark interior of the barge. 

Please, Zayne. I need this… I need you…

Not one to push his beloved too hard, Zayne relented instantly; his chest swelling with pride at your obedient response.

Surging forward, he wrapped a hand around your waist, bringing you down onto the plush pillows as he took over.

Undulating his hips, he felt you falling apart underneath him—your toes curling, fingers lacing through his hair, tugging hard. 

Already coming undone? I can feel your control slipping, my love…

Yes, yes. You chanted, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Languidly nuzzling your neck, Zayne’s command was a heated whisper into your ear.

I know you need this—I can feel how much you need it. Let go, my love. 

It was the permission you needed. In an instant, you spilled over, following his command, always his obedient, sweet lover. 

He worked you through your contractions, feeling your entire body tensing under his touch. His cock splitting your walls over and over again drove you to the peak of your second release, and Zayne took pride in how you dug your heels into his lower back, crying out his name.

The official didn’t care who would be hearing; if the universe would conspire later to end him for his disobedience.

He couldn't think about anything else, not when you slumped into his arms, his voice a low hum; mumbling reassurances into the hollow of your throat. 

Careful to pull out and release into his own palm, Zayne didn’t care for your muffled outcry. He wouldn’t dare besmirch your body with his seed inside or out—prioritizing your dignity above all else.

The dark-haired man was careful to wipe his release on a spare silk handkerchief he brought onto the barge, taking another one to wipe the mess you made between your thighs.

Sated and glowing from your release, you let him work on you, quietly enjoying the devotion in his eyes and touch. 

Zayne’s smile was soft and hazy as he pulled you on top of him, letting your head rest on his chest. 

Longer, sturdier and calloused fingers traced patterns on your back, watching how the moon shone through the slanted windows, drawing shadows over the expanse of your skin.

His arms wrapped tightly around, pulling you deeper into his embrace, unwilling to let go. 

Outside the boat, a storm began to brew, dark clouds closing in and concealing the moon from sight. 

The balminess of the night gave way to a blessed, cooling drizzle, enveloping the boat much like his arms, keeping you safe and grounded. 

With the light of the moon extinguished, the glow of your smile became the brightest thing in the night as you leaned in, cradling his face, 

“Are you alright?” he asked softly. 

His love for you shone brighter than any celestial being could, limitless and profound, as he lost himself in the warmth of your touch.

“I am perfect.”

Not one to give him a moment of peace, you cheekily quipped:

"So, does this mean you are giving me a month's supply of rabbit candy?"

Zayne's eyes twinkled, and he chuckled, shaking his head at your question.

"If I recall," he turned you over, pinning you back onto the pillows, desire alighting his usually stoic and steady gaze.

"It was not I whose composure wavered, my little one."

© all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost on other websites and claim as your own. do not feed my content to AI.

17 going on 27

summary; one second, you’re sobbing at prom because the most popular guy in school dumps you due to your relationship being a little prank to break your heart. the next? you’re a creative editor at Ego, the hottest young adult fashion magazine. as you try to figure out what’s the deal with this sudden time skip into adulthood, you come across relationships and friendships that are made to be cherished and made to be broken. pairing; photographer!jungkook x editor!reader (f) genre/warnings; fluff, crack, future enemies to lovers, teenage and adulthood angst, time skips from high school!au to late twenties!au, 13 going on 30!au, all your romantic movie tropes come to life! a really big mess honestly, various movie and music references, mentions of sex, use of alcohol, everyone give jin and jimin a big ol hug, language, a surprise guest from the queen of england w/c; 22.6k a/n; it’s that time of the year baby! the time of the year where i binge watch the good ol’ early 2000s romcoms that make absolutely no sense! a huge thank u to @eerieedits​ for making this beautiful banner. vivi got the whole delia’s/claire’s vibe down to a t! 

if you enjoy this fic pls consider giving it a like and a share✨✨✨

  Keep reading

Hi here’s another list of things I’ve read that are really important to me, on the loose theme of ‘fantasy urbanism.’ I still haven’t read Dhalgren.

Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino. This is the most essential thing to read if you are even tangentially interested in anything about this list i think. Revelatory to me as a pulpy-literalistic fantasist.

Imaginary Cities by Darran Anderson. Inspired by the Calvino book, an enormous overview of planned or dreamed cities that were never built.

Kalpa Imperial by Angélica Gorodischer. Some of my favorite secondary-world fiction I have ever read. Short stories from the history of an empire at the ludicrous extreme of size, depth, history. The English edition was translated by Ursula K. Le Guin who is my favorite.

A Stranger in Olondria by Sofia Samatar. Beautiful book and deals with an invented setting and urban spaces with a more densely intellectual approach than I have ever seen.

Delirious New York by Rem Koolhaas. An architectural history and “retroactive manifesto” for Manhattan, but some of the most interesting bits are about Coney Island in particular. Huge futuristic conflicts underlie every modern city.

The City & the City by China Miéville. This isn’t a lot of people’s favorites of his because its fantastic elements aren’t the loudest, but it’s so smart and bewildering and develops an allegory for emergent social strata in urban spaces that is really compelling.

The Event Factory by Renee Gladman. Just finished this; it feels loose and dreamlike and engages very clearly with real feelings of exploring new spaces, radically repurposing urban environments…

Country of Ghosts by Margaret Killjoy. Not as totally concerned with cities as the rest of the list, but a really exciting and unusual example of worldbuilding from an intentionally political/utopian perspective.

Surregional Explorations by Max Cafard. The first few essays in this book deal with Surrealist and Situationist approaches to urban space and the unconscious of cities; it’s a weird jumbled book but I liked it

so this is an extremely cool resource

the JSTOR article by Catherine Halley

a list of series at Reveal Digital

Anyone remember a post from Tumblr past, where somebody said something about being tired of having teenage chosen ones and they wish someone would write one that's older? Because my older sister did that and it's getting published in April.

do you ever read scifi or fantasy in french? i am trying to read more sff that was originally published not in english but it's not easy to find 💀

I do! It’s not my favourite genre but one of my friends loves it so I read a bunch of SFF books every year ahead of her birthday to try and find a gift for her. I’m glad I do this because it’s allowed me to discover N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy which was amazing, and I don’t know if I would have picked it up otherwise!

Here are some French-language authors I’ve read or plan to read (unfortunately English translations are few and far between :( I bolded the names for which I found English translations—if you read in another language you can check out the non-bolded authors, there are often translations available in other languages long before English ones)

When it comes to classics you've got Pierre Boulle (Planet of the Apes of course; also Garden on the Moon, which is (deservedly imo) less known), Jacques Spitz (La Guerre des mouches—it was translated but not into English), René Barjavel (The Ice People, Ravage, Future Times Three—I read them a long time ago but I remember them as very sexist even by French classic standards), Bernard Lenteric (La nuit des enfants rois), Alain Damasio (La Horde du Contrevent—maybe too recent to be a classic but it’s everywhere. I was surprised to find no English translation!), Bernard Werber (I feel like he rehashes the same 3 ideas again and again but some of his earlier stuff was fun), Alexandre Arnoux (Le règne du bonheur), Jules Verne of course, Stefan Wul (Oms en série which was adapted into the film La Planète sauvage—Fantastic Planet in English. I like the film better!) And some I haven’t read: Georges-Jean Arnaud, Serge Brussolo (I liked his Peggy Sue series when I was in middle school but it spooked me so much I haven’t dared to pick up any of his SFF for adults, like Les semeurs d’abîmes), Élisabeth Vonarburg.

Newer authors: Estelle Faye (L’arpenteuse de rêves, Un éclat de givre—I tend to like her worldbuilding more than her plots); Sandrine Collette (The Forests—if you count speculative fiction as SFF) (I didn’t like it at all personally but others might), Jean-Philippe Jaworski (I really liked Janua Vera; didn't like Gagner la guerre but it was mainly because I have a low tolerance for rape scenes in fantasy books) (he’s about to be translated into English according to his editor), Stéphane Beauverger (Le déchronologue)

More authors I haven't yet read: Pierre Pevel (The Cardinal's Blades—I've been told it's "17th century Paris with dragons"), Romain Lucazeau (Latium), Laurent Genefort (Lum’en), Christian Charrière (La forêt d’Iscambe), Roland Wagner (La saison de la sorcière), Aurélie Wellenstein (Mers Mortes—I love the synopsis for this one), Magali Villeneuve (La dernière Terre, trilogy)

And non-French, non-anglo SFF authors: Maryam Petrosyan (my review of the Gray House last year was that I understood maybe 1/3 of it but I liked it anyway!), Hao Jingfang (haven’t read her yet), Arkady & Boris Strugatsky (idem), Jaroslav Melnik (I’ve read Espace lointain (originally Далекий простір) but didn’t like it much), Andreas Eschbach (The Carpet Makers), Walter Moers (I read The City of Dreaming Books back when I was still learning German and found it very charming), Liu Cixin (I loved The Three-Body Problem but The Dark Forest was so sexist it made me not want to pick up the third volume), Lola Robles (El informe Monteverde, translated as Memoirs of an Interstellar Linguist), Elaine Vilar Madruga (Fragmentos de la Tierra Rota), Tatiana Tolstaya (The Slynx), Karin Tidbeck (Amatka), Emmi Itäranta (Memory of Water, The Moonday Letters), Angélica Gorodischer (I’ve read Kalpa Imperial and found it only so-so but it always takes me a while to warm up to characters or a setting so I struggle with short story collections. I’ll still give Trafalgar a try) Also my favourite fantasy book as a kid was Michael Ende’s Neverending Story, I was obsessed with it. I re-read it in the original German a few years ago and it was still great.

What is everybody enjoying right now? Current read/watch lists under the cut!

Reading

The Apothecary Diaries: I'm current on this, but the updates are so slow (ಥ_ಥ) I plan on collecting it in print at some point because I need a hard copy of 🐸

Oni no Hanayome wa Taberaretai: I binged this one, and I'm not sure when it will update again (´；д；`) It's SO cute - I'm a big fan of human/yokai series, and I love when spouses are crazy for each other ♡

Loving Yamada at Lv999: The anime was so cute and I've been feeling nostalgic for it, so I binged this, too! I'm just past where the anime ends... ( ͡º ꒳ ͡º)

I'm also slowly crawling through Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun because I'm only buying it in print (I'm so excited for After School and S2!!!). I hope to finally start Skip and Loafer at some point. I do have a few other titles on my coffee table, but they're all first volumes.

Watching (current as of Aug 7)

Senpai is an Otokonoko: This series stresses me out. I keep waiting for terrible things to happen to those sweet kids! I hope it wraps well because, so far, there is some really wonderful queer rep.

Pseudo Harem: I thought I would hate this based on the title, but it's nothing like I expected - it's actually SUPER cute and just really fun. Saori Hayami and Nobuhiko Okamoto do an awesome job and have great chemistry for comedy.

The Elusive Samurai: There's nothing I don't like about this show - it's so flashy and fun, and the voice acting is all top-notch. If you're on the fence about trying it, watch the ending theme!

The Magical Girl and the Evil Lieutenant Used to Be Archenemies: The loli-coded fanservice makes me uncomfortable, but the lieutenant's reactions are so good. I actually really like the magical girl's transformation and character design, too. I cannot handle (positive) Shinichiro Miki as the scuzzy familiar ₍^. ̫.^₎

Yatagarasu: THIS SERIES IS LIKE A TELENOVELA AND I LOVE IT but also the worldbuilding is *chef kiss*

Tossawary’s Scum Villain Fics

Hello! As we approach the end of another year, I thought that I would collect a list of my fanfiction to share around and potentially keep people company through whatever they have going on in their lives. 2021 was a weird year in many ways, but I had a really good time writing and sharing that writing.

Thanks for sharing it with me! Enjoy! 😘💕❤️

pride is not the word I’m looking for - 408,000 words - Moshang, Families of Choice, Canon Divergence AU, Plot, SQH & LBH Deserve Love

Summary: Shang Qinghua helps Luo Binghe’s adoptive mother when the protagonist is only a baby, and finds himself with a new family and a new goal of changing the plot for the better. The changes to the world are quickly slipping out of his control, but that’s no excuse not to try.

Catch a Falling Star - 122,000 words - Bingliushen, Stardust AU, Canon Divergence AU, Friendship/Love, Road Trips

Summary: Shen Yuan transmigrates in as a fallen star, only to find that the plot is already in progress and completely off track! With everyone out to get him, he must trust Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, warriors each with their own quests who seem to dislike each other on sight, to help him get somewhere safe.

Nothing to Me, Nothing to You - 60,000 words - Moshang, MDZS AU, Pre-Canon, Shang Qinghua & Yue Qingyuan Friendship

Summary: Shang Qinghua, transmigrator and author of the world, is a Cloud Sect disciple tasked with overseeing the discipline of one of the guest disciples attending his sect’s lectures, who just so happens to be the person who’s supposed to kill him someday. It only gets more complicated from there.

it must follow, as the night the day - 26,000 words - Moshang, Role Reversal AU, Demon Shang Qinghua, Human Mobei-Jun, Pre-Canon

Summary: Due to System error, the humans and demons of Proud Immortal Demon Way were flipped around. Lowly demon and transmigrator Shang Qinghua curses this every day of his life, especially when he meets the handsome cultivator this world has made of Mobei-Jun.

Babe in the Woods - 19,000 words - Moshang, Pre-Canon, Canon Divergence AU, Universe Alteration, Kid Fic, Nanny AU

Summary: When disciple Shang Qinghua meets Mobei-Jun and saves the demon’s life, he also ends up saving the life of Mobei-Jun’s baby brother. Hiding and helping two spoiled young demon masters is twice the trouble.

this point of pale light - 18,000 words - Liushen, Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan, Space Opera AU, Star Wars AU, Symbionts & Sharing a Body

Summary: Shen Jiu and symbiote Shen Yuan have shared the body and identity of Shen Qingqiu ever since they were forcibly joined together, and have managed to find a measure of peace together in their sect and this galaxy. At least until Shen Jiu’s past comes back to haunt them both.

dreams that had never come true - 14,000 words - Moshang, Time Travel, Canon Divergence AU, Pre-Canon, Mobei-Jun POV

Summary: After failing to find Shang Qinghua after their break at his ascension, Mobei-Jun becomes an accidental time-traveler and gets a second shot at his life with Shang Qinghua. Mobei-Jun’s only goal is to somehow do it right this time. Shang QInghua has no idea what’s going on.

Horns - 11,000 words - Moshang, Demon Horns, Demon Lore, Pre-Canon, Canon Divergence AU, Humor

Summary: The System gave all of the demons horns, even though Airplane never intended that. Mobei-Jun’s icy horns are beautiful and majestic, and also unsuited to human doorways, and apparently this is Shang Qinghua’s problem.

Absolutely Ineffable - 10,000 words - Shen Yuan & Shang Qinghua, Modern with Powers AU, Good Omens AU, Humor

Summary: Airplane-Bro, a spy for the Demon Realm, may have accidentally helped set the end of the world in motion and comes to his best friend Cucumber-Bro, a librarian for Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, for help in preventing it. All they have to do is find the right child.

The Red Cabinet - 7,000 words - Shen Yuan & Luo Binghe, Chronicles of Narnia AU, Dimension Travel

Summary: Shen Yuan is sent to stay with a distant uncle, finds a secret world hidden in a cabinet, and meets a half-demon boy there.

ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real - 7,000 words - Shang Qinghua & Shang Qinghua, Canon Divergence AU, Dimension Travel, Fanfiction of Fanfiction

Summary: Shang Qinghua from Ch 6 of pride is not the word I’m looking for meets Shang Qinghua from the post-canon of SVSSS. It’s kind of weird to see where he started versus where he ended up.

every haircut I’ve ever had has been a bad haircut - 5,000 words - Moshang, Post-Canon, Homesickness, Affection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Shang Qinghua gives himself a haircut while overworked, overheated, and incredibly homesick. Afterwards, he panics, and struggles to explain himself to a concerned Mobei-Jun.

the ability to remain sober and gracious - 4,000 words - Qijiu, Canon Divergence AU, Intoxication, Reveal Fic, Pre-Canon

Summary: Yue Qingyuan accidentally gets drunk and trips into revealing to Shen Jiu exactly why he never came back or explained himself.

but that’s fine because I like a hot mess - 3,000 words - Mingling, Post-Canon, Sparring, Getting Together

Summary: Sha Hualing shows up to Cang Qiong for a friendly sparring match, and Liu Mingyan contemplates the unfairness of things not being like the way they are in her stories.

anxiety and caffeine are having a cockfight in my brain - 1,000 words - Moshang, Post-Canon, Homesickness, Affection, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Shang Qinghua tries to mix himself his own energy drink, gives himself a headache, and gets gently picked off the floor by Mobei-Jun.

My Fav Korean Manhwa Recommendation List

For the last few days, I've been reading Korean manhwa/webtoon series non-stop and man, they're just so great!!! 😍😍😍

These are some of my fav manhwa I've read so far... All the stories are of modern setting btw... (I may do a separate recommendation list for historical/magical/isekai genre manhwa later on...)

Something About Us - (Childhood best friends turned lovers) Status: Completed.

Positively Yours - (Strangers met for one night stand to lovers) Status: Completed.

Seasons Of Blossom - (High school friends to lovers) Status: Completed.

Please Take Care Of Me In This Life As Well - (Childhood friends to lovers) Status: On-going.

Fly Me To The Moon - (Strangers met through unusual circumstances to lovers) Status: On-going.

The Reason I Wanted To Die - (High school sweethearts to Exes to again lovers) Status: On-going.

Revelation Of Youth - (High school friends to lovers) Status: On-going.

The Odd One Next Door - (Frenemy neighbors to lovers) Status: On-going.

Free In Dreams - (Strangers met through lucid dreams to lovers) Status: On-going.

Operation Name Pure Love - (High school friends to lovers) Status: On-going.

Just Twilight - (High school classmates to lovers) Status: On-going.

King The Land - (Childhood friends to lovers) Status: On-going.

Confession Attack - (Childhood best friends to lovers) Status: On-going.

Our Secret Alliance - (Childhood best friends to lovers) Status: Completed.

Ooh La La!! - (Complete strangers to sudden lovers) Status: Completed.

Match Made In Heaven By Chance - (Childhood friends to sudden married couple) Status: On-going.

Love Class - (Former high school Teacher X Former high school Student love story) Status: On-going.

The Man's Games - (Childhood frenemies to lovers) Status: Completed.

My Introverted Boy - (Introverted boy X introverted girl love story) Status: On-going.

The Dilettante - (Enemies to lovers) Status: On-going.

Olgami - (Enemies to toxic lovers) Status: On-going.

The Law Of Being Friends With A Male - (Classmates to friends to lovers) Status: On-going.

My Three Annoying Brothers - (Separate love stories of 4 beautiful yet chaotic siblings) Status: On-going.

Divorce Is Easy, But Love Is Hard - (College Senpai-kouhai to office colleagues in love) Status: On-going.

Marry My Husband - (Office senpai-kouhai to lovers) Status: Completed.

The Boss's Proposal - (Office senpai-kouhai to lovers) Status: On-going.

When You're Targeted By The Bully - (Enemies to friends to lovers) Status: Completed.

The ones I haven't read yet, but intend to read them later in the future...

Love Of Mine.

A Guide To Proper Dating.

Act Like You Love Me!

The Couple Breaker.

There Must Be Happy Endings/Surely a Happy Ending.

Love For Hire.

Daytime Star.

First Love, Lasting Hate.

Extroversion Of An Immortal.

True Beauty.

Wedding Delusion.

Even If It's Not.

Only Hope.

Meet In The Middle.

Situationship.

My Sweet Dark Hero.

Dating My Best Friend's Sister.

Undercover! Chaebol High School.

Dear First Love.

Melt Me With Your Voice.

Yeon Woo’s Innocence.

My Messy Marriage.

As If Love Doesn’t Exist.

Let’s Meet After Work.

Please Teach Me, Senior.

Golf - LN4

*:･ﾟ Summary: In Portugal, Lando Norris, Max Fewtrell, and Max’s girlfriend Pietra go golfing, with Pietra’s single friend (you) tagging along. You struggle with the game, prompting Lando to offer hands-on lessons.

*:･ﾟ Word count: 1298

୨ৎ

The warm Portuguese sun bathed the lush green golf course, casting soft shadows over the rolling hills. The faint scent of freshly cut grass filled the air as the group of four made their way towards the first hole. Lando Norris, Max Fewtrell, his girlfriend Pietra, and Pietra’s friend—a single woman, fresh-faced and smiling despite her clear inexperience with golf—walked together, laughter bubbling up between them as they teased one another.

Pietra nudged Max playfully as he adjusted his glove, “You know you're only here to look pretty while you lose, right?”

Max scoffed. “We’ll see who loses when I sink this birdie.”

Lando laughed, shaking his head as he carried his golf bag. His eyes, however, kept straying to the woman walking beside Pietra—you. You had been quiet at first, observing the banter between the group, but it didn’t take long for you to find your rhythm. Your natural charm had won the guys over quickly, but it was Lando who seemed most intrigued by you.

You were unsure about this whole golfing thing; you’d never played a round in your life. But when Pietra had invited you to join them on this trip, the allure of sunny Portugal and new adventures was impossible to resist. Plus, you weren’t going to lie—spending time around Lando was hardly a bad thing.

After the first few holes, it became obvious that you were, well, not the best golfer. You swung the club a few times, and while your effort was there, the technique... not so much. Your ball either went nowhere, or far off course. Each miss was followed by giggles from Pietra and lighthearted teasing from Max.

“You’ve got this,” Pietra grinned, leaning on Max’s arm, as you tried yet again.

Your swing was way off. The ball barely moved. You cringed, immediately breaking into laughter.

“That’s it,” Lando said with a mischievous smile, stepping forward. “Time for a lesson.” His eyes sparkled with something more than just amusement, his dimpled grin sending a flutter through your stomach.

You raised an eyebrow, but couldn’t stop the smile pulling at your lips. “Oh? You’re going to teach me how to golf?”

“Well, someone’s got to save you from yourself.” He gave you a teasing wink, his accent rolling off his words in a way that made your heart skip. “Max certainly won’t.”

Max snorted, raising his hands. “I’m no teacher. Good luck, mate.”

You shook your head, amused, but when Lando stood next to you, a little closer than necessary, you felt a warmth rise in your cheeks. He placed his hands over yours, adjusting your grip on the club. His touch was firm, but not forceful, guiding rather than instructing.

“First, you need to relax,” Lando said softly, his voice close to your ear. “You’re too tense.”

You swallowed, feeling your pulse quicken at the proximity. His body was warm, his presence so magnetic that you were barely able to focus on his words. You could feel his breath against your skin as he adjusted your arms, moving them into position. He leaned in a little more, close enough that the scent of his cologne filled your senses.

“Like this,” Lando murmured, his hands guiding the motion. He stood behind you, his chest lightly brushing your back, and for a moment, you forgot you were supposed to be learning how to golf.

The rest of the group had quieted, either lost in their own conversation or deliberately giving the two of you space. Pietra, ever the romantic, watched with a knowing smile.

“Okay,” Lando continued, still guiding your movements. “Now, on three, swing. One… two… three.”

Together, you swung, and to your surprise, the ball sailed smoothly across the grass, not far, but far better than any of your previous attempts.

You turned, eyes wide. “I did it!”

Lando grinned down at you, pride in his expression. “See? It’s all in the technique.”

You laughed, a little embarrassed but mostly happy. “I guess I just needed the right teacher.”

He gave you a playful nudge with his elbow. “Or maybe I’m just that good.”

The flirting between you and Lando was subtle, woven into each shared glance and teasing comment. It wasn’t overt, but the tension between you was undeniable. Every time his hand brushed yours as he handed you the club, or when his fingers lingered on your back as he showed you the proper stance, it sent little sparks through your skin.

“Okay, let’s try again,” Lando said, stepping back into position behind you. This time, his touch was more casual, but it still held that underlying tension that made your pulse race.

You swung again, and though the ball didn’t fly as far, it still went in the right direction.

Lando gave a mock sigh. “Guess I’ll have to stick with you for the rest of the day. You’re not ready to be let loose just yet.”

“Is that so?” You shot him a playful look, fully aware of how close he was standing to you. “And here I thought I was getting better.”

“You are,” he said, his voice soft and sincere. “You’re just not ready to leave the pro yet.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his confidence, but something about the way he looked at you made the laughter die on your lips, replaced by a different kind of awareness.

-

The day went on like that, filled with stolen glances, light touches, and gentle teasing. The others gave you space, Max and Pietra happily absorbed in their own world, but there was a sense that everyone knew something was happening between you and Lando.

As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting golden hues over the course, the group decided to call it a day. Max and Pietra walked ahead, leaving you and Lando lingering behind, still chatting quietly.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Lando asked, his eyes catching yours as you strolled beside him, golf clubs slung over your shoulders.

You shrugged, smiling. “Not bad at all. But I don’t think I’ll be challenging you to a game anytime soon.”

“Maybe we could practice again,” he suggested, his tone light, but there was a flicker of something deeper in his gaze. “I could give you some more lessons.”

There it was again—the tension, the unspoken something that had been building all day. You felt your heart race, your stomach doing little flips at the idea of spending more time with him. Alone.

“I think I’d like that,” you said, your voice soft as you looked up at him.

Lando’s smile widened, his dimple showing once again. Without thinking, he reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering for a second longer than necessary.

Neither of you moved for a moment, the world around you seeming to fade as the connection between you intensified. You weren’t sure who moved first, but suddenly, you were standing even closer, the air between you charged with possibility.

“Lando,” you whispered, unsure of what to say next, your heart beating fast in your chest.

But before you could say more, Max’s voice rang out from ahead. “Oi! You two lovebirds coming or what?”

You both jumped back, laughing at the interruption, though the moment wasn’t lost. Lando’s hand found yours for a brief second, giving it a gentle squeeze before he let go, his eyes promising that this wasn’t the end of whatever was brewing between you.

“Yeah, we’re coming,” Lando called back, a grin on his face.

As you made your way back to the group, your heart felt light, your cheeks warm from more than just the sun. Golf might not have been your game, but Lando—Lando was a whole different story.

୨ৎ

*:･ﾟ Notes; thank you for reading, I hope y’all enjoyed! Also a BIG thank you for all the love on one of my last story; Lazy mornings!

Dreamland (ln4) —MASTERLIST

Fanboy!Lando Norris x Famous!Author!Reader ↳ Summary: As a flunking university student in dreary Bristol, Lando is sure there’s another life waiting for him elsewhere. A life that he can only dream of living with the girl with a million dollar career, verified instagram, and a stunning smile that he swears was created for him. But maybe those dreams stray no farther than his phone screen.

Chapter List

Part One - Dreamland ↳ 6.8k words

Part Two - Don't Wake Me Up ↳ 20.7k words

Part Three - Late Night Talking ↳ 7.7k words

Part Four - Daydreaming ↳ 19.9k words

Part Five - Grapejuice ↳ 20.6k words

Part Six - Grapcjuice Part Two ↳ 11.9k words

Part Seven - Maroon ↳ 11.8k words

Part Eight - Can We Pretend That We're Good? ↳ 17.9k words

Epilogue ↳ TBD

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Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*

Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*

Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.

A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares

Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.

Bridge by Lauren Beukes

When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.

The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin

1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.

Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*

Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.

Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.

The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Remnant by Kate Genet

One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?

The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*

Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:

Survival Instincts by May Dawney

Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?

These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs

When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

Second Time's a Charm

Summary: Back in college Spencer Reid and Fem!Reader left many things unsaid. Years later they give it another try.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: smut, fluff, hints of angst (happy ending)

Content Warnings: 18+, minors DNI! loss of virginity, mentions of ambiguous feelings during sex in the past, oral sex (female receiving), grinding, protected penetrative sex, a very brief mention of alcohol in the beginning

Author’s note: I wrote this for @imagining-in-the-margins reunion challenge! Let me know what you think here.

Word count: 4.4k

Masterlist

The condensed water on the cool glass of my virgin colada captured my eye, tiny droplets running down the surface, slowly but surely soaking the little napkin the barkeeper had placed the drink on minutes earlier. It was meditating, turning my brain off to watch something so trivial without having to actually focus my attention. It was my Friday afternoon routine to reward myself for making it through another week with an overpriced drink that was so sweet it made my teeth hurt. Everything was like any other Friday I have spent here, until I was pulled out of my trance-like state by the barkeeper’s raspy voice.

“Now look at that.”

He turned up the volume of the TV and I followed his request to have a look at it while I took a sip of my drink. A blonde woman was talking to the press about a criminal the FBI had just arrested in L.A., but I hardly paid attention to her as soon as I recognized one of the men standing behind her. That was the moment I wished my cocktail would actually contain alcohol, because drinking a virgin colada while staring at Dr. Spencer Reid, the man I lost my virginity to, was too bizarre for me to not choke on my beverage.

My heart-rate began to accelerate as I watched him on the screen. He had changed a lot in the seven years I hadn’t seen him, but he was just as handsome as I remembered. His hair was different and he looked more like an adult now, but his eyes were still the same ones that looked at me filled with wonder and surprise after I kissed him for the first time.

The press conference was over before I could even wrap my head around who I had just seen on TV. Even the cool drink in my hand couldn’t help me with the waves of heat rushing through my body, my cheeks now for sure hot and pink. Spencer Reid was working only a few miles from where we went to college together and where I still resided and worked.

More than once have I thought about reaching out to him, but I convinced myself that he must have long forgotten about me. It was easy to keep track of him through his academic achievements and impressive career at the FBI. No matter how far he had come, I liked to think he was still the same Spencer I knew, the one who was so humble about his own success. It made him so much more endearing to me. It would have been easy to be intimidated by his intellect, but he never let that happen.

He was so kind and appreciative, even if it took me hours to understand what he was trying to explain to me. Little did I know how much of an effect this boy would have on me when my professor suggested him as a tutor for me. The urge to drop out of college was overwhelming, I really struggled to keep up with my classes. Until I met Spencer who was willing to sit down with me twice a week for a whole semester to patiently explain to me what my professors couldn’t.

After finishing my drink, I drove home and tried to distract myself to stop thinking about him. I only realized that I was desperately failing this attempt when I skimmed through a box with photos looking for a specific image from my 21st birthday party. I couldn’t shake the smile when I found it, the memories of that night filling my mind. It was the only photograph that existed of Spencer and me, the moment when he hugged me for the very first time captured perfectly.

My finger was gliding over the high-gloss paper in my hands while I indulged in my reverie.

He hadn’t expected me to be wanting to see him outside of the context of him tutoring me, looking like a deer caught in the headlights when I invited him to my birthday party. I thought he wouldn’t come, which is why I was extra happy when he showed up, hence the bright grin on my face in the photo of him hugging me. We both laughed when he awkwardly threw his arms around me to wish me a happy birthday. It was as if I could still hear the breath leaving his lungs when I squeezed his body just a little too tightly in that moment.

I wondered if he was aware back then that I wouldn’t be able to shake the sensation of his hands touching my back for days. He was probably clueless, just like I was about my true feelings for him. When he told me that he would be leaving Caltech soon to work for the FBI in Quantico, my first reaction was similar to the one of a child throwing a tantrum. Spencer kept reassuring me that I would do just fine without him, having caught up with most of my classes. Looking back I can’t believe how oblivious I was, thinking the only reason I was upset was because I would have to find someone else to tutor me.

A couple of days later I went over to his place to apologize for my reaction and say goodbye to him. It was the second time we hugged, but this time it wouldn’t be enough for me. Once I felt his hands on my back it was as if my brain short-circuited. Even though I had never done this before, my lips found his in an instant, not bothered by his initial hesitancy, patiently waiting for him to reciprocate the kiss. The way our mouths moved against one another was awkward and unpracticed but still so perfect.

His hands were trembling and tentative when we started to undress each other, giving me a hunch that he wasn’t too experienced himself. However, the yearning to be close to him dulled any rational thoughts I once had, my instincts taking over when I felt his fingertips brushing over my exposed skin. When we laid down on his bed completely bare with flushed cheeks and racing hearts he confirmed my suspicion by telling me that he had never done this before. It was almost apologetic, as if he wanted to make sure that my expectations weren’t too high. He looked relieved when I told him that we were just the same when it came to our experiences.

It was obvious that he had at least theoretical knowledge about things by the way he cautiously touched me while asking what felt good and what I liked. It was just so overwhelming for me that I couldn’t have sincerely answered him even if I tried. I kept reassuring him that this was what I wanted and he had no reason not to have trust in my words. A few moments after we joined our bodies, my heart started to feel heavy at the thought of him leaving in a few days. He was so sweet and careful with me, noticing the shift in my emotions instantly. When he wanted to know if I was uncomfortable I shook my head and told him I just wanted to get this over with.

I will never forget the hurt expression in his eyes after he heard my imprudent choice of words. He stopped what he was doing before we could find relief, separating our bodies while his eyes started glistening. Even though I was the one hurting him, he still apologized to me. What for exactly I still don’t know. He held me close to him until I fell asleep, only to be gone before I woke up the next morning. He left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth and a realization I didn’t dare to admit for weeks.

I was in love with Spencer Reid.

We never spoke again after that night and I couldn’t even blame him for never reaching out to me after what I had said to him. I could only hope that unlike me he was able to forget how we ended things at some point. Some might think I would have had every right to be mad at him for leaving without saying a word, however, to this day he still was the kindest man I have ever met. He deserved the world and I hate that I wasn’t able to give it to him.

The ringing of my phone startled me, waking me from my daydream and having me jump up from my place to answer it. I didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?”

“Uhm hi… Is this Y/N?”

The voice of the man was easy for me to recognize but I couldn’t fathom how it was possible for me to hear him. A part of me believed I was still stuck in my fantasy of him. When I didn’t react, I heard him again.

“Y/N?”

This time I managed to answer him.

“Yes, it’s me. Hi Spencer.”

I heard a chuckle on the other line before he wanted to know, “You recognized my voice?”

“How could I ever forget,” was what I mumbled, instantly regretting my choice of words, hurriedly continuing, “Working for the FBI really has it’s benefits huh? You can always just look up someone’s number.”

“Your number is listed, I looked it up in the telephone directory?” The pitch of his voice was higher at the last word, making his explanation sound like a question.

“Oh… of course, yes. Sorry, I was trying to make a joke and it apparently didn’t work.”

He laughed at that and I realized I was still holding the photograph in my hands.

“The reason I’m calling is… I know it’s been a long time since we talked and you’re probably really busy, but I am in town and I read the research paper you published last week and it was really impressive and I would like to discuss it with you,” he said in the same rambling manner I so dearly held in my memory.

“You read my paper? Yeah I would love to discuss it with you, actually.”

“Are you free tonight? We could talk about it over dinner,” he suggested.

We agreed on a time and a place to meet. When I hung up the phone I noticed a goofy smile on my face, just like the one on the photo of my 21st birthday party.

Spencer was already waiting for me when I got to the restaurant, awkwardly hugging me just like he did all those years ago, making my heart skip a beat at the contact. He looked even better than when I saw him on TV earlier. What used to be orderly gelled back hair were now unruly curls framing his face. He looked a bit more filled out, his cheek bones still prominent on his face but sticking out slightly less than I recalled. His golden irises were still kind and warm, making it easy to get lost in them. When I noticed how kissable his lips still looked, I averted my eyes from him for a second to collect myself.

“You look great,” he said while we sat down, “I’m really glad you agreed to meet me.”

I slightly blushed at his compliment.

“Thank you. I was surprised to hear you read my paper.”

He picked up the menu and skimmed over it while he said, “Of course I did. I’ve read everything you published, including your thesis.”

He stated that as if it was the most natural thing in the world when just a few hours ago I doubted that he would even remember me. The fact that he apparently had been keeping track of me felt flattering and exciting. We discussed my academic work over dinner, getting into a very heated discussion about preferred research methods.

When he didn’t stop praising me for my achievements I humbled myself by sincerely telling him, “I wouldn’t have gotten that far without your help.”

He smiled at me and said, “Don’t be ridiculous. That was all you. You didn’t need my help after I tutored you for three weeks.”

“That’s not true. You tutored me for a whole semester,” I countered.

“That I did,” he chuckled, “but it was mostly me confirming what you had already worked out.”

I raised my eyebrows at that, trying to recall if what he claimed was true. “Then why did you let me waste your time for months? You could have just told me that.”

“There was no time wasted, believe me. I really liked having you around.” Even though it wasn’t his intention, hearing his words made my heart ache. He noticed of course, so he added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“No it’s okay. I just really would have liked to hear that seven years ago.”

He sighed at my words, averting his eyes for a moment before he looked at me with a sincerity I had never seen in a man.

“I’m sorry I never called you, I still regret leaving like that. It’s not an excuse but after our night together I felt like…like a failure… and it took me a while to understand that you telling me to get this over with was not actually about us sleeping together, it was about the underlying feelings that led us to that moment. But by then too much time had passed for it to not be weird to reach out to you, at least that’s what I thought back then. I’m sorry I hurt you, I really am,” he explained.

I shook my head and reached my hand out over the table to make contact with his fingers before I let him know, “Spencer, you didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, you were absolutely perfect and I wouldn’t have wanted to share this moment with anyone else. You didn’t deserve to hear those words. I didn’t even mean them, I was just stupid and overwhelmed.”

“Maybe we can agree that we both were stupid and overwhelmed,” he chuckled while he took my hand in his, squeezing it softly, “and so, so young.”

I didn’t even think twice about inviting him over to my place after dinner, both of us clearly still wanting to spend time with each other. Right after closing the door of my apartment, I felt my desire flaring up inside me like a flame getting a burst of oxygen. Just like the first time our lips met one another I was the one to initiate the kiss. Unlike seven years ago he appeared to be anticipating my move, his hands cupping my face as he instantly kissed me back with a fervor I hadn’t expected. It was as if we melted into each other, our lips moving in perfect synchronicity as if no time had passed since the last time.

He paused for a second to tell me, “I missed you so much.”

I told him just the same, not with my words but with my lips chasing his, not having had enough yet. The memory of the tentative and insecure boy once holding me soon vanished as the men standing in front of me harshly grabbed my waist to pull me closer. The sensation of his body pressing against mine elicited a sigh from my throat, allowing Spencer to deepen our union. My hands found their way to the nape of his neck, intertwining my fingers with his soft curls. Our kiss grew hungrier every second, seven years of yearning finally unloading as our tongues brushed against one another.

Gladly I let him take the lead, gasping as he pushed me against the closest wall. Without even thinking about it I tugged on his hair, making him groan into our kiss. I had never heard a sound like that from him. A sound so sweet it traveled right through my body into my aching center, making it throb in anticipation. Everywhere he touched me he left a burning sensation, a tingling that would certainly linger on my skin long after he was gone.

His mouth left mine and moved to my neck, gently biting the sensitive skin as a moan rolled over my lips. He saw that as his praise and was spurred further on, licking and sucking on my neck until I desperately started to fumble with the buttons of his dress shirt. When I had finally managed to undo the last one he helped me rid him of the fabric. I let my fingertips trace over his exposed skin, brushing over his chest, lingering there for a second to feel his accelerated heartbeat. Wandering further down his body, I touched the soft trail of hair reaching down from his belly button to the waistband of his pants.

The outline of his erection straining against the confinements of his trousers was clearly visible and I couldn’t stop my fingers from brushing over the fabric to feel the evidence of his desire. My eyes found his again and I was met with a smirk prominent on his face. In one swift motion he took my wrist in his hand and pinned it against the wall above my head while he kissed me once more. He let go of me after a few moments to grab the hem of my shirt and pull it over my head. My pants and bra joined the pile of clothes beside us soon after, leaving me in nothing but my underwear.

Just like I did moments before, he let his fingertips wander over my body, trailing my curves and dips as if he was chasing the memory of how my skin felt under his touch. I leaned against the cold wall behind me when his hand found its destination between my legs, a satisfied expression visible on his face as he felt the damp fabric of my panties.

“Looks like someone really missed me,” he teased, never averting his eyes from me, probably to study my reaction to his touch. He traced my folds through the fabric, circling my most sensitive spot until I couldn’t stop the whines and moans escaping my throat. As my hips rocked against his fingers my arousal soaked the lace of my underwear. He leaned down to kiss me before I felt his lips grazing over my ear whispering, “You like how that feels, don’t you?”

Instead of answering him I started to giggle at his question, a very specific thought suddenly present in my mind. Spencer removed his hand to place it on my hip instead, looking confused at my reaction.

“Sorry it’s just…I remembered something,” I tried to explain.

He raised an eyebrow at me before he said, “Okay?”

“I uhm… the men I’ve been with after you never seemed to care too much about what I liked. So I always had this thought that maybe my sex life was cursed because I messed up my first time and the only way to break the spell was to do it again… with you.”

Instead of making fun of my silly thought he wanted to know, “You thought about having sex with me?”

“Yes.”

He smiled at me before he placed his lips on mine, his hands brushing over my sides.

“Well then, let’s get this over with,” he chuckled.

Playfully I hit his chest for teasing me while I whined, “Hey, that’s not funny,” even though I was more than happy to see he could laugh about the sentence I had regretted saying to him for years.

He kissed me again, whispering “Sorry” against my lips before he dropped to his knees in front of me. “Let me make it up to you.”

He looked up at me and I almost gasped at the beauty of this man. His hair was disheveled from my greedy fingers running through them, his pupils blown, lips plump from kissing and cheeks tinted in a rosy shade. His hands grabbed the waistband of my panties, pushing them down and letting me step out of them. His lips traced my hips, leaving open mouthed kisses on their way to my core. One of his hands wandered behind my thigh, lifting it and urging me to let it rest on his shoulder, granting him better access to where I was aching for his touch.

My hands found their home in his hair once more, holding onto him as his tongue glided through my slit, humming into me, sending vibrations through my body. I barely dared to look down at him but I did it anyway. His eyes were closed and he looked like he genuinely enjoyed tasting me which excited me even more. Grinding against his face, I threw my head back to let it rest against the wall behind me, my breathing getting heavier every passing second. He explored my folds as if he tried to leave an imprint of me on his tongue and I smiled at the thought of that.

Although it was the first time I felt him this way he expertly worked his mouth over me as if he had already guided me into euphoria countless times. Dancing along the edge for a few moments I started to feel light-headed until I managed to let go, finding pleasure as Spencer helped through my high. My core was still pulsating when he removed himself from me, putting my leg down from his shoulder and holding my hips until he was sure I was standing steadily.

“You okay?” He wondered as he got up from the floor, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I nodded and took his hand to guide him to my bedroom. Standing beside my bed, we started kissing again with the same fervor from before. Albeit having found relief moments before the desire in my insides grew again quickly, still wanting to feel more of him. The remaining pieces of clothing on his body were quickly removed and tossed aside. Pushing against his shoulders, he followed my implicit demand to sit on the bed, leaning against the headboard and waiting for me to join him. I hovered over his lap as I leaned down to kiss him while his hands found my breasts, gently caressing them and letting his thumbs brush over hardened peaks.

Lowering my hips, my center made contact with his erection and I felt him twitch at the contact. Slowly I started to grind along his hardness until I heard him whimper against my lips. That was a sound I remembered hearing from him and it made me smile. For the first time this evening he let the boy he once was show through, quivering in excitement the same way he did when I touched him all these years ago. Grinding against him felt good but it wasn’t enough to satisfy what both of us were craving.

“Fuck, I want you so bad,” he groaned as I reached over to my nightstand.

Handing him a condom, he ripped it open immediately, making me giggle at his eagerness. I lifted my hips for him to put it on and sank down on him right after that, carefully letting our bodies merge. The sensation of being filled out by him was arousing me even more and I carefully started rocking against him. His hands grabbed my hips and I held onto his shoulders, slowly accelerating my pace as my body let go of any resistance. His fingertips sank into my flesh, urging on my motions while his lips found mine once more. Our mouths never really left one another although our kiss was interrupted by us panting and moaning as we were chasing a high.

He was approaching the end quicker than I did which is why he pulled back for a second to ask me, “What do you need?”

“I… uhm…”

I wanted to tell him but I hesitated. It apparently didn’t matter, he only saw it as a challenge to help me find release. One of his hands left my hip and moved between our bodies, his thumb finding the crest of my crevice to move in tight circles against it. Throwing my head back, a loud moan escaped my lips. He started to thrust into me from underneath me, intensifying my own movements.

“How does that feel?” He asked as if the answer hadn’t been obvious.

I held onto him harder and looked at him, whispering, “So good Spencer. Fuck! You feel so good.”

“Then let go. I’ve got you,” he panted against my face, “Come for me.”

My body started to tremble as I reached my climax, pulsating around his hardness in the same moment he started to throb inside me, finding his own release while I erratically rocked against him. When our movements came to a halt I buried my face into the crook of his neck and held onto him tightly, his arms wrapping me into a warm embrace. The moment we had to let go of each other was inevitable but after quickly cleaning up we were back in each other's arms in no time.

He was curled into my side, our legs entangled, his head resting on my chest to listen to the sound of my heartbeat. My fingertips danced over his back, leaving goosebumps on their path as his hand gently brushed over my arm. His breath tickled the skin of my breast but I wouldn’t have dared to ask him to move. He was exactly where I needed him to be. Staying with him like this was like a silent promise to not let this end like the last time.

“When do you have to get back?” I suddenly heard myself asking.

He shifted his position, propping himself up on one forearm to be able to look at me before he answered, “I was planning on staying here until Sunday afternoon to catch up with some people from Caltech. But I just realized there is actually only one person from college I want to spend time with.”

He leaned down for his lips to meet mine, deepening the kiss after a few moments before he started to trail kisses down my neck. I giggled at his display of affection, only realizing what he was planning to do when he moved further down my body.

“Slow down, Spencer. We still have two days left to do all the catching-up.”

“Exactly,” he mumbled against my skin, kissing his way down my belly before looking up at me with a smirk when he reached his destination between my legs, “no time to waste.”

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