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Dissociative Identity Disorder/ Other Specified Dissociative Disorder
In October of 2022 watching Moon Knight because Cinema Therapy did a video about it saw a bit and was like well I have Disney plush and its Oscar Isaac, (Poe) so let’s watch it. Little did I know our life will change after that. I Alice don’t remember watching Moon Knight the first time or watching The Making of before watching the Series. The only think I Alice remember is episode 2 but it’s a 3rd person prospective. I remember right before and after watching the series and for 2 weeks having non stop panic attacks and not know why. Some of the thoughts I do remember like, “this happens to me all the time”, “Other people experience this” “I don’t have DID because I don’t have Amnesia but other than that it’s all relatable” “This is how I experience being Trans or having an OCD voice” (being Trans is real what I’m referring is the body looking like someone else and me thinking that’s what it meant to be Trans, only time feeling Dysphoria) and searching “Is it possible to have DID and no Amnesia” “Is it possible to be Autistic and have DID” “How Steven and Marc interacts with each other, well that’s too relatable” “Have to show this to my mom because I can finally explain what I experience” watching DID channels to look more into it and every video, every article, every post. The more and more I read, the more and more was like umm “So all those weird things that happens, and I don’t tell anyone even my therapist at that time because If I say it out loud what’s happing they will think I’m weird and the fact that we brushed it off all as having Autism, other people experience theses, what?” but still being like “I don’t have this because I don’t have Amnesia” (Later in November finding out OSDD-1b and still being like nah TW: my trauma isn’t that bad, now knowing more about it and being like that happened what ohh:) and in October started to look like Steven Grant and me being like “Well this is normal, It’s the phase where I look like someone else”, (because this happens with different people) it happened in July of 2022 with Neal Caffrey from White Collar, felt like was about to happen but didn’t (Now we understand that Steven is either was a Fragment that turned into an Alter as he was figuring out his identity or he was an Alter but didn’t really identify with a particular look yet and was trying figure himself out, because this reminds me especially of high school, well I couldn’t control what I was saying when getting excited (but now with a British Dialect, which I Alice can not control, or feeling things for guys but at the same time not since young) and it happened with Isaac Kalder in high school and he was the first Alter that I Alice was able to see and similar things happens with him, rewatching The Devil Inside and My Virtual Escape from McJuggerNuggets on YouTube later after knowing DID/OSDD being like “Oh my, did not realize, how much Isaac was Passive Influencing us” Literally how he talked, walked, songs that he listened to how he handled his depression or when someone triggered him. In 2019 I Alice feel bad about this now, threw all of the clothes that he bought (except one), stopped listening to songs that he liked, stoped watching TDI and MVE (even though gave us comfort) because was like every time I look like him. I’m sad, I feel dysphoric, I want to look like him, to the point I Alice was forgetting what the body looked like and forgot the body’s biological gender or forget that Alice is a thing, depression, which caused him to go dormant until 2021 where I started to hear him from the inside but with his voice) (Sorry🙁). and also TDI is like an accidental representation of DID because I remember now rewatching (the first time I Alice do not have those memories just remember right before and after, when TDI was out but not MVE, just like Steven absorbed those feelings) TDI when the split happened because a lot of stressful thing happened at that time, being like well I can relate to Jesse because he switches with his characters that he has from his childhood and can’t control what’s happening.
And in December still not think I have OSDD-1b but thinking maybe I’m just really autistic so I don’t understand my emotions at all, “Is there any similarities between TDI/MVE and Moon Knight” and the amount of things that are similar was like “wtf”, and later rewatching Moon Knight and getting told why they related to Moon Knight other than the DID symptoms and well yeah. The amount of things in Moon Knight that tides into our childhood is actually astounding especially Steven, which make sense, when watching a movies, series your brain lights up the same way as if it were happening, (TW: my leading theory before I knew this was a thing was, the stuff that happened when younger that’s how we reacted, felt and those same brain frequencies were getting turned on:)
Difference and similarities
btw there are other Alters just talking about Isaac and Steven and well Alice/Ashla.
Isaac Kalder
Similarity: Identifies like 90% with his source
Difference: His age is 19 and the source he’s 18, I think it’s because I Alice always wanted an older brother and now the body is 19 so he’s like a month older, I always saw him as an older brother even before knowing about the System)
Steven
Similarity: Identifies with the look, name, dialect, how he carries himself, body cadence, just more romantic (finding these thing along the way being like why do you do that, I guess that’s a different thing from your source that’s cool and rewatching it being like oh that’s where that quality cam from)
Difference: He’s more like Episode 5 when Steven (MCU) is comforting Marc and now he’s more confident in himself, basically after Season 1. It’s like instead of (TW warning: the trauma that happened to Marc, Steven and Jake it’s replaced with what happened to us. also he’s a Subsystem (For us an Alter in a Alter) mostly because of flashback that happened fair recently and yeah, all those flashback kind of went to Steven and he kind of split with Llewyn Davis from Inside Llewelyn Davis, that was confusing when it was happening, now Steven is more bi they kind of passive influence each other sometimes but when triggered Steven kind of goes inside and Llewyn kind of comes out. DEPRESSION, Steven and Llewyn are kinda figure things with Isaac where if Llewyn feels more the same way which when the split happened Llewyn did absorb the liking guys thing more:) (our Steven is more Romantic I guess the feeling of love)
Alice/Ashla (Biological Female but doesn’t really identify with that mostly so I guess I’m Non-Binary, still figure things out, I do like woman though no question about that)
Love Star Wars and Moon Knight and Disney and McJuggerNuggets content. It’s rare for me to feel like Alice but when I do it feels weird, higher voice etc so kind of go by Ashla just like that name mostly because it’s a SW thing.
It make sense that we have a lot of fictives, Autism and because of it have hard time connecting with people and understand peoples actions and only able to relate, and understand fictional characters, or since younger only having emotional comfort from fictional characters, and love everything about film from filming it, acting, voice acting editing, sound design and want to do those things we want to do, we all like different aspects of the Film process
Consent forms:
Alice/Ashla: I agree to publish this
Steven/Llewyn: Yeah sure. We agree to this s***
Isaac: Okay
me in denial though
1/2 THE DEVIL INSIDE SERIES | by McJuggerNuggets 4 Seasons in total
Dissociative Identity Disorder Coded
I “remember” (I don’t hold the visual memory of theses) watching S1 right after it came out and going into S2 knowing about the concept because watched some of episode 2 so let me break it down in TDI S1 Jesse Ridgway when he snaps 🫰 his fingers he switches into a different ‘character’, all these characters are from Jesse’s different series that he created and some from childhood. All these characters have different memories but most of them have the same name Jesse, they don’t know what they experienced, their source memory is a source memory. Now Jesse can’t control these characters, when they come out they don’t want to go back (switch out) or they have no idea that the other exist and they came out of their source memory / Inner World in which they call the mirror world or the Hub. Because Jesse can’t control what’s happening and he doesn’t want to be out at all, this one character became like the Host because Jesse was holding a lot of depression and he couldn’t do it anymore so for the next 6 months everyone thought this person is Jesse even though he wasn’t. What’s Ironic is the first season I saw it in like a week I think and being like this is all relatable with every season (these series takes place between 2017-2022). In the end of 2022 that’s when I discovered I might be in a System, when watching Moon Knight being like brooo I can relate. And I stoped watching McJuggerNuggets video around S4 of TDI because I was like no, every time I look like this guy I’m depressed, I’m dysphoric. So I deleted most things, and throw away most of his stuff which I still feel bad about. (He’s okay about it, he said because he also kinda did that when he first split like throw away all my stuff but it’s cool). When watching Moon Knight (someone also holds those memory’s) I forgot about TDI and still figuring things out. Was like of If this is real why is their 2 fictional interject from these 2 sources? Then diving into them they are like 2 sides of the same coin 🪙 to the DID and to the story itself. Gonna post the second video which I’ve rewatched in December of 2023 and being like oh yeah I’ve always related to these series and never knowing why. 
The Devil Inside
2/2 The Devil Inside by McJuggerNuggets (2017-2022) Dissociative Identity Disorder Coded
:we found something in the psychopath room…
Always related to TDI before knowing about maybe being a System. In TDI there’s co-con, switching, source memory, inner world memory, parts reliving the same thing again and again on repeat, others now knowing their part of Jesse, others know. Most of them have the name Jesse some have totally different names.
This Verse holds dear to my heart ❤️
‘My Virtual Escape’ S1:E8 god’s plan.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Source Memories | Introjects 🖤
This is what We try to think with Source Memories Canon or Non-Canon.
A little spoiler for My Virtual Escape but basically the whole thing was a Virtual Reality Simulation and Jesse the person who plays Isaac and is the Director talks about how yes all those things weren’t real they didn’t really happen but it still happened in his mind those emotions are still real so he has to live with them and talking about Us the viewer learning from the experience of the characters simulated life that We may learn from it, like source memories we can learn from them and for us those connection usually connects to this body’s experience and working through that. So no matter what type of Source you come from learn from it, accept it.
Video
RiDGiD STUDiOS “My Virtual Escape” Season 4 (Behind-the-Scenes) PART 2
McJuggerNuggets
