Louiseabilenewrites - Tumblr Posts - Page 3
SMELLS & SUMMER
Reminiscing as a Persian girl who wanted so badly to be white
Someone told me that you can smell death in your finals hours. Sweet; sour. Reminiscent of childhood.
For me I would think it might smell like pistachio and rosewater ice cream and hot summer nights on my grandmothers Persian carpets. Sweating as I toss and turn in these musty sleeping bags.
Sitting up late with my dad as we watch cat videos and drink tea; I’ll tell him my feelings and those moments are some that I’ll still love as I die.
I love the summer; memories of laying in the grass as the sprinklers go off. Jumping into the cool pool from the toasted hot tub. Screaming underneath water.
I think death doesn’t smell like charred flesh, smoke and fire. I think death smells like childhood, wet grass. Fairy potions, bike tires. Falling on the asphalt. The burn of my bare feet
My childhood summers were spent in car rides to Los Angeles, seeing my grandparents. My bubba. Sitting on his lap as he tells me stories of the military, my grandmother teaching me to make Kabab Koobideh. She always told me to be proud of my heritage.
“Love yourself before you love someone else” she would tell me; kissing all over my face and my hair.
We would eat pistachios and other Persian treats together as she would paint me in the sunset; she would spend hours on my paintings. Making sure she got every freckle, loose eyelash, and curl in my hair.
She kissed the blonde strands that covered my face. The brunette that shone through.
I used to cry because I wasn’t white and blonde, cried because I wasn’t skinny enough to fit into my friends jeans. I bawled because my hair wasn’t blonde and it wasn’t pin straight. Was upset because I tanned so quickly while my friends burned.
Sat staring at myself in the mirror as my mother put her powder on my face and someone thought I was sick.
I’m older now; still struggling to love myself because I see my friends ‘tan’ be my pale. And through all of this; somehow I still feel like a fraud.
A Persian girl but I don’t speak Farsi, white but not white enough to be white. Persian but you can tell that I’m not 100%
But I don’t think that matters anymore. Because that was in the 2000’s. When being the whitest of white was trendy; but now I see myself. My culture and my body become a trend and I can’t help but feel used.
Maybe a little abused as I look at the little me who just wanted to be like everyone else
WIN
Nico Hischier my beloved
I know the win was a tough one, fighting for the puck, when the horns blow. I’m jumping out of my seat grasping onto Jacks girlfriend as we scream at eachother in excitement, “LETS FUCKING GO!!” I shout out as lilly and I shake eachothers shoulders in pure joy.
The two of us excitedly wait by the locker rooms; Nico comes our first. Sweeping his hair out of his eyes as we lock eyes, “you played so well baby” I grin excitedly speed walking over to him but he jogs over to me and scoops me into his arms.
My legs instinctively wrap around his waist as he smothers me in kisses and affection, “you’re the only voice I could hear” he admits. We don’t pay attention to Jack and Lilly as they share a sweet kiss.
The media manager takes a little photo of us to celebrate the win, we do this silly thing where we hide my face with a glove; Nico’s arm wrapped around my shoulders. His hand covering my face because I like my privacy as a nurse.
When we finally get home we celebrate in the same ways; popping a bottle of wine and watching the NJD highlights. My legs tossed over his lap as he fidgets with the skin around my knee.
Usually he stops drinking halfway through his glass so I pour it into mine and he gets into the shower after I bug him about smelling like sweat and grossness.
Nico lays in bed; arms stretched over his head as I clean up the Mcdonalds we had ordered as a post game dinner.
“Is your alarm off?” I ask as I walk back into the bedroom and shimmy out of my leggings and croptop. Sometimes I walk around the bedroom half naked like this as I leave my bra on the floor looking around for a shirt to wear.
It’s always one of Nicos shirts that I throw over my head and shimmy into, then I crawl into the fluffy duvet and scootch over to Nicos warmth.
He wraps his arms around me as I throw my leg over his waist, “you did so well today neeks” I smile kissing his cheek and laying my head on the crevice to his neck and shoulder.
“It was such a tough play” he confesses; sliding his hands underneath the shirt and starts drawing circles on my shoulder blades, “I’m glad you were finally able to come and watch a game” he whispers into my ear, “I love you so much”
“I love you too, I’m sorry it took me so long.. I’m just scared that someone will recognize me and— I just don’t want to seem like a bad girlfriend” I admit against his skin. His hands coarse over my tough skin and the little bumps that pepper across my back.
“You could never be a bad girlfriend, ever. You’re the best for so many reasons.. our post game rituals, the ice baths you set up after practice. Jesus you learned German for me” We laugh a little at that admission as he rolls onto his side instead of his back, “you are the best thing, that’s ever been mine”
If you liked this lmk if you’d want a part 2!
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
Mat Barzal x fem!original character
SERIES MASTERLIST
In which, Mat Barzal falls hopelessly in love with the girl who works the weekend closing shifts at his favorite bookstore and his attempts at getting her to say yes to a date.
CHAPTERS
PROLOGUE
ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
SIX
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
Mat Barzal x fem!oc
Series Masterlist
PROLOGUE
I’ve sworn to never fall in love; to never even risk myself into a loveless marriage that my parents were forced into. I could never put a child in the same situation that I was settled into. Praying to whatever god that my parents would divorce. So I wouldn’t have to stay up listening to them argue and fight about who’s parenting style was better.
Maybe because of that I’ve made that vow to myself, “I will not ever. Ever. Fall in love” too terrified that in the end; I’ll be just another pawn in a loveless scheme someones trapped me into.
And then he showed up.
And ruined all my plans.
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
Mat Barzal x fem!oc
Series Masterlist
ONE
I only like the bookstore during the night, when it’s slow and nobody’s around. The lights are flickering and the town suddenly goes quiet in contrast with the bustle of the busy mornings and heavy traffic of the day.
I only work here on the weekends for the closing shifts or the opening ones. Something to make a little more money to fall back on besides my adult corporate job. My parents are proud, more my father than my mother that I’ve begun my climb up the corporate ladder.
I don’t hate my job, far from it. Simply the long hours and bossy bosses that make me pull at my fingers and tug at my hair. Especially with my youth and admitted naivety, those at my job can be wary about me either in the break room or being hesitant to invite me out for drinks.
I’ve been told by my therapist that I rushed my childhood, skipping grades and taking collage classes while also taking highschool classes at the same time. I want to fight her on it, claim that I did have a childhood and had dreams but I know that I’m defending something I never had.
Two parents who were always fighting; hated eachother but swore to stay together because of their vows, “Hey Bella” I smile at the older lady standing at the counter as I tuck behind into the back room and set my purse onto the table and wrapping my apron around my body, “slow day?” I ask as I switch from heels to converse.
“Yeah, it’s the middle of the school season so all the kidlets are probably studying” she sighs out rubbing her tired eyes, “ok, I’m off. Be safe. Please” she reminds me as she pats my shoulder, “I’ll need you to come in a bit earlier tomorrow for the opening shift, we’re getting a new shipment of books for the month”
“Uhh, yeah yeah I can do that, so 5:30 instead of six?” I clarify, as I clock myself in on the timetable next to the register.
“Yes, thank you Emma. You’re a doll” She smiles and blows me a kiss exiting the building as the cold wind brushes against her; gently pulling at the greying blonde hair that’s always been tucked into a a little bun.
I turn on some music to keep my mind from straying as I walk around the store. Gently brushing my fingers against the creased spines and occasional leather covered book. Those nice collectors editions are always Romeo and Juliet, or Hamlet.
Personally I’ve thought Romeo and Juliet a bit childish and immature, but I’ve always been told I’m looking at it from a modern perspective. I believe that Romeo and Juliet is the way to not fall in love.
But then again, that’s coming from the girl who watched her parents try and fix an already broken marriage by having an abundance of kids and forcing themselves to stay together even though, everyone’s known they’d be better apart. Even their own kids.
I tidy up the reading corner, setting the old book. Princess and the pea back onto the shelf and searching for the one tomorrow.
My my fingers pull and push against the covers of the kids books, looking for something different. I don’t pay attention when the bell jingles and jangles while I hear a heavy step quickly become softer. I hear them physically relax as they walk the isles.
I eventually decide on a book with a unicorn and a blonde girl. Something I fondly remember of my own childhood.
I stretch up a little and let my hair down from its clip, it falls unevenly against my shoulders but I don’t mind or even care that much. This bookstore is my happy place; where I am safe and content within my own body. Here I will never care what I look like.
I view the man searching in the fiction section, something specific I can tell by his body language. If he needs help I’ll allow him to ask; yet I’m wary of going up to a man and guiding him to the book.
When he finally notices me watching him he turns around and asks, “do you know where I can find ‘The road’ it’s uh. Geez by I think by Cormac McCarthy?” He stumbles out; slowly dragging a hand across his face and brushing his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes.
His face is soft but sharp; his eyes evoke a warm bubbly feeling inside me. Eyes that make me feel comfortable being alone with him, “yes, I believe we only have a few left” I tell him, walking off to a different section of the store, “I know, our shop is set up weird” I explain.
“And why’s that?” He inquires, his pace isnt rushed or faster than mine. But relaxed and nonchalant. As if he has all the time in the world.
“The original owners, she has a special section called ‘Meine Leibe’ which I think translates to ‘My loves’ or ‘my life’ once she passed her daughter kept it the same so this little section would always be here for her. I find it endearing” I know I ramble on a bit but I’ve suddenly grown afraid of having a silence against the two of us
“It is, it’s just a little place with all her favorite books?” He keeps asking, as I turn into the cozy little corner. I thumb through the alphabetical order.
“Yeah, her favorite chair, pillows. Shannon was such a kind lady” I reminisce, “here is The Road, is there anything else I can help you with? Or will that be all for today?”
“Uhh, ha unless you have ‘The deal’ by Elle Kennedy then I’ll take that too” I think he’s being sarcastic but I can’t really tell.
“I think we do, are you a hockey fan?” I ask walking to the romance section.
“I guess you could say that, do you watch?” He asks, “do you need a hand?”
“I watch a bit, just the New Jersey Devils with my dad. Yeah it’s just above there” I point, even on my tip toes the store has ceiling high bookshelves. And because it’s night the ladders been locked up. I move to the side as he grabs the book.
“Are you from Jersey?”
“Yeah, I lived there before I came to New York for a work deal”
“I’m going to assume it’s not this job.. right?” As he makes his way to the register and I slink behind the counter
“Yeah, my uh big girl job as my mom likes to address it as” I hear the roll in my eyes as I scan the bar codes and ring him up, “will that be with cash or card?”
“Card” He pulls his wallet out of the front pocket of his jacket, “thank you”, he checks for my name eyes staring just above but also at my chest.
I poke my eyebrows up at him praying to god this man isn’t looking at my tits directly; not even with the slightest bit of discretion.
“I’m uh looking for your name to thank you— I swear I’m not looking at your uh. You know boobs” he almost whispers out the last bit before continuing, “not that they aren’t nice or anything but uh” the tips of his ears turn pink and his cheeks suddenly become flushed, “I will just pay now” he groans out softly; handing me his card and rubbing his eyes with his hands.
I ring him up and he puts his pin in, “thank you again, you never told me your name” he questions for that piece of information
“Emma”
“Thank you Emma, have a good evening” he purses his lips and grabs his books. Hands shaking as he smiles and starts to leave.
“You too, wait” I lean over the bar slightly, “you never told me your name?”
“Mat”
“Alright then, have a good evening Mat. Come back soon”
The door jingles as he leaves and I watch him through the window, I see him sigh and smack his books against his head. Though I don’t exactly hear what he says; noises muffled through the glass and the music.
“Huh. What a strange guy”
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
Mat Barzal x fem!oc reader
Series Masterlist
Two
I dont like when guys ask me out, because the answer is always no. And the answer never changes; and I doubt it ever will. My coworkers are all married or in a relationship with someone even at the bookstores. Hell, the sixteen-year old has had a boyfriend longer than I've been working there.
For a time I believed it to be asexuality, but thats not what it was. I still think; dream and hope for someone to love me, but thats just what I don't want. I used to be able to see myself getting married to someone; when I was nine and didn't know how horrible my parents marriage was to each other.
When I was nineteen I thought something was wrong with me, I was stuck in the thought that I was unloveable. I want to date; dating would be fun. But dating leads to marriage and to me. Marriage means being trapped, and I don’t do being trapped.
The guy from last week comes in again, a little more flushed and with a friend this time. He’s nervously chewing his lip and looking over at his friend for reassurance, “no dude, chicks dig Romeo and Juliet, I’m sure that’ll get you a yes” I overhear a tall bald guy say as he assuringly pats or slaps the brunettes back.
His hands are shaking as he gently places the hardback copy of Romeo and Juliet, “just this” he quietly mumbles looking down at the cover, “have you read it?”
“Yeah, a few times but I’ve never been to fond of that kinda romance” I reply as what I assume his friend shakes his shoulder in a brocode way I have yet to understand.
“Really?” His voice pitches up, “w-what you uh— uh why?” He frantically questions his entire face pales
“Uh oh, I really hope you’re not setting a date on Romeo and Juliet for christs sake” I murmur, “not speaking for every girl but, it felt too quick. How can you know if you really love someone in just barely a week” I clarify, “I just” I shrug not finishing my thought, “do you still want to get it?”
“Uh.. maybe” he looks down and taps his thumbs against the counter, “what romance books do you recommend?”
I grin, wide and toothy because this is my favorite question and thing to ever talk about, “oh boy am I glad you asked. Liz, will you cover me?” I request and she nods.
I take his hand and lead him to the classics, Jane Austen, Emily Brönte, Charles Dickens. “A lot of these are like classic books but Jane Austen is really the one you want to woo a girl”
“I’m very positive no one says ‘woo’ anymore” his friend juts in and Mat as I remember faintly; gives him a dirty look.
“Whatever. Pride and prejudice is my all time favorite” I say; gently pulling my baby out of her shelf.
“Wow.. I think my sister’s made me see the movie” He faintly says; I can barely hear anything over the beat of my heart.
“Which version?” I ask nervously
“I think the 2005 version” and I almost sigh in relief, “is that good”
“Very. Very good”
He smiles at me and his friend nods as I lead them back to the register, “that’s everything right?” I ask scanning the books
“Yes, uh yeah” He smiles nervously and goes back to chewing his lip, “you know how the uh New Jersey Devils are playing against the Islanders tomorrow night?” He asks handing me his card
“Yeah… Why?”
“I uh, I’ve got by the ice tickets and I was gonna have one of my friends come with me but he— his wife just had their baby so you know.. and you like hockey and I like hockey so it might be— nice if you wanted to go with me?” He blabs out, nearly gasping for breath after finishing, then he continues, “you don’t have to come— obviously I know it’s last minute and you probably have plans with someone or uh yeah..”
“No.. I don’t have plans tomorrow night”
“Great— I mean not great that you don’t have plans but great that you can come with me” He nervously chides
I laugh and smile, “I would really, really love to go to the game with you” I confess.
“Yay, just uh do you get breaks?” He asks
“Yeah, I’m just about due for a break”
We stand outside together; his poor friend long forgotten, “what’s going on?” I ask sitting at one of the small tables and drinking some tea.
“Ok uh, I..” He flushed and puts his head in his hands, “I won’t be sitting with you.. I’ll be on the ice…”
“Oh. Wait what?” I ask, looking up at him as he tangles his hands into his hair, “what do you mean you won’t be sitting with me?”
“I’m not just a hockey fan. I play. Hockey I play on the Islanders.. those who have girlfriends or wives get to invite them to games and I know we’re not- I’m not implying that but uh you like hockey and I thought it might be nice” he chokes out
“Ok so— what?” I gasp out, “I didn’t think you were much a joker” I’m fighting back laughter
“I’m serious”
“Oh”
“Its totally fine if you don’t want to come anymore but uh. Yeah” he shrugs rubbing his eyes nervously and chewing his lip cracked.
“I mean.. I haven’t been to a game in a while… so.. yeah that would be nice” I shrug
He sighs a big sigh and nearly flips the table with his weight before righting it.
“Can I get your number then? So I can pick you up.. I’ll bring you a jersey” He requests sliding his phone out
“Yea” I pick his phone up and type my number in, setting my contact name and typing in a hello with his name.
“I will see you.. at 5 thirty ish?” He asks, “and don’t worry about eating before, actually maybe eat a bit but I want to take you out to dinner after”
I smile and brush my hair out of my face, “should I wear leggings? Jeans?”
“Uh.. long pants probably, jeans would look good”
“Thank you, I will see you tomorrow night”
“It’s a date”
And I don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s not.. because I’m too scared to fall in love. Or to even risk it.
WINTER
It’s too cold and I miss Jamie Drysdale I haven’t seen booboo bear in forever
“I’m still concerned how you think this” jamie shrugs to the 60 degree weather that’s begun invading California, “is cold” but nonetheless he still lets me drag a blanket all around the house and lets me cuddle up to him all the time. Even when I stick him with my cold feet.
“You grew up in fucking— fucking Canada” I butt out, “you have an unfair advantage” I whine at him. As I slowly drag myself back into our bedroom, “why is it so cold”
“Because it’s fall” He never misses a beat as he stands in the door way. Leaning against the frame as I snuggle myself into my side of the bed.
He eventually leans in and takes his shoes off before sliding into bed with me, still in his hoodie but thankfully taking off his hat before he snatches me with his arms.
“You’re freezing” He groans, I move into him and he tries to scoot away, “no you’re cold”
“Yeah but you’re warm, please jammy, im so cold. And you love me” I complain latching myself into him.
“You’re going to be the death of me. I hope you know that”
“I would never”
Y/n.official
Liked by; Anaheimducks, jamiedrysdale, trevorzegras, Nicohischier, nhl, Jackhuges, and 76,629 others
My personal heater
View comments
Trevorzegras - Jimmy with the rizz
Jamiedrysdale - stfu
Nicohischier - y/n. Didnt you grow up in Germany. Where it’s like negative degrees
Y/n.official - hush Nico baby. Hushhh
Jamiedrysdalefan1 - stop why r they so cute together
Jamiedrysdale - she’s a solid 10
Jamiedrysdalefan1 - AH HE RESPONDED
Jamiedrysdale - you have the coldest feet ever but I still love you
Y/n.official - dw bbg I’ll still marry you
Jamiedrysdale
Liked by, matbarzal, trevorzegras, nhl, anaheimducks, Nicohischier, y/n.official, and 189,628 others
Ice cold baby
Matbarzal - how’d this man get a 10
Y/n.official - 🤷♀️
Jamiedrysdale - a little offended over here
Trevorzegras - Mama y Papa
Y/n.official - my son, my baby!!
Jamiedrysdale- stop enabling him
Trevorzegras - don’t say that jimmy
Anaheimducks - so cute
Y/n.official - I totally agree!
Jamiedrysdalefan1 - y/n on the ducks??
Y/n.official - they need to sign me
Jamiedrysdale - you fell over three times and tripped over the puck.
Y/n.official - hes lying
VOLLEYBALL SZN
Heavily inspired by @brokenanxiety headcannons of mat barzal dating a vball player ‼️
Mat Barzal x fem reader (volleyball player)
Im a senior in collage. #87 on NYU’s volleyball team for varsity. My boyfriend does his own thing, hockey for the islanders.
Usually our schedules don’t line up, I’ll have a game and he has training. He has a game and I have training. The only time they’ve ever lined up is during training camps. But even then we can barely see each other. And even then our training camps have a no fraternization rule.
The islanders have never been too fond of sharing facilities with a collage v ball team.
“We had a game forfeit so are you still good with me coming to see you play” he whispers into my ear as I rub lotion onto my forearms in preparation for the bruises.
“Mm, if you want too. Usually they make you practice instead right?” I ask as Mat watches me braid my hair and raise it into a ponytail.
“Yeahh.. but I told the guys about this and they wanted me to come.. they’ll probably show up halfway through and bring the team out for pizza” he tells me as his hands rub up and down my thighs.
“Really? You’re willing to feed a group of starved varsity volleyball players after the biggest tournament of the season?” I inquire turning my head around to face him. He’s still all smiles and giggles with his head laid into my neck.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Never”
Games are always fairly similar; the same nervous buzz that leads into the locker rooms. We all have matching hair.
“You nervous?” Astrid asks as we stretch out and set and serve eachother for our warmups.
“Always, but mat is here for like the first time ever and I’m so nervous” I grin a little bit
“Isn’t he the one you hooked up with junior year? At the training camp?” She gasps out, “holy shit you’re dating?” She whisper shouts which attracts the attention of our other teammates
I nod, “but Shh. We need to win this tournament”
The blonde nods as she puts on her knee guards.
It always feels cheesy when I say that Mat’s cheers are the only ones I can hear against the roar of the crowd. I feel like I’m gasping for breath as I’m diving and saving.
I’m knocking my head sometimes; scrambling for the ball and using my arms to save it.
We end the game in overtime, winning barely with a 2 to 1 score.
I change back into a baggy shirt instead of my uniform but I don’t have the care to change out of my shorts, “Do y’all want pizza?” I ask as we gather up our bags and let our hair out.
“Yess, but who’s buying?” Ella asks as she cracks her knuckles
“Mat, and his team. They said they were gonna take us out for dinner” I inform and Ella grins before rattling out the most Ella like sentence I’ve ever heard
“Do they now how much we can eat?”
“No. No they do not”
There’s six girls, plus six other 6’+ hockey players. It’s a bit of a feast, “fuck are we starved” Abby smiles as the majority of the girls eat.
I’m happily seated next to mat with his hand on my thigh as we eat, “did you have fun?” I ask him
“Yeah, the moms weren’t too thrilled seeing a hoard of hockey players screaming about volleyball” he laughs softly and I smile at him
“Im still really happy you came”
“Me too”
It’s a laughter seeing the team astonished at how much a group of girls can eat after four games and the final five to win.
Mat drives me home and I’m falling asleep in the car ride home, “you must be tired, huh pretty girl?” He smiles against my skin as he brings me up into our room
“So tired”
(Idk how to end it l o l )
I rly hope you like it
“I NEED MY GIRLFRIEND”
My baby Nico my poor baby 🥲🥲🥲
(Throw back to when neeks got hit in the junk:| )
I flinch against my seat as I watch Nico go down, “that was a dirty shot” I tell Emma as she nods, “am I allowed to go see if he’s ok?”
“Yea, comon- I’ll take you to him” She says taking my hand and leading me to the lockers. Nico is laying on the ground with an ice pack on his junk, “I’m gonna go save our seats” she tells me brushing her short blonde hair behind her ears and closing the door.
“Hi handsome” I whisper softly as I go and sit next to him
“Can I put my head on your lap?” He asks sheepishly and I nod and he moves to put his head on my thighs, “that really hurt” he groans out.
“I know baby; do you want some pain killers?” I ask him, threading my fingers through his hair
“No, I can’t. Unfair advantage or something like that. I’d be benched for the rest of the game” he defeatedly sighs rolling slightly and burying his head in my thighs
“Bubs maybe you should. You seem like you’re in pain” I tell him; shrugging softly. He sighs against my skin
“Maybe, but I should also go to a doctor probably”
“Yes. You should”
Driving Nico home after he goes to the doctor is always fun; because he’s either really happy or sometimes. Like today really high. He didn’t go in-depth about what they had to do and I’m a little nervous.
He’s all giggly then suddenly turns nervous like a train wreck, “would you leave me if I can’t have kids?” He asks. Leaning against the head rest, “can we get McDonald’s”
I sigh and tap my fingers against the steering wheel; not sure how I want to answer those questions, “sure baby. Let’s just go home and we can order something” I rub his shoulder and squeeze softly
He stares at me with those big eyes and nods slowly, blinking slowly like a reptile. I let him lean on me as I unlock the door and move him into the kitchen, “bed or sofa?”
“Bed”
And so we march our way to the bedroom, “bathroom?” I ask him and he shakes is head in a no. Laying back down on our bed.
“Can I get an ice pack for my balls?” He asks rubbing his eyes and I put a blanket on him, “pretty please”
“Sure baby, how about some pain killers?”
“Please and thank you” he slurs slightly nodding off. I come back and find him asleep, mostly.
“Neeks, Neeks baby” I whisper, gently shaking his shoulder
“Ja, meine Frau?” He murmurs softly rolling his head over to face me.
“Ice”
He doesn’t say thank you, but nods and tugs at my arm, “I want my girlfriend”
“I know sweetie, I’m here”
He lets me lay with him as he starts to fall asleep, his hand wraps around my back, “that was a mean move”
“It was”
“I love you”
“I love you too”
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
Mat Barzal x fem!oc
Series Masterlist
(TW: drinking)
Three
I don’t like going out often, going out is a once in a blue moon occasion. I’m scared; but also nervous. Nervous because what if— if he is the one who unravels my plans. Makes me want to fall in love again. I’m so focused on the what ifs as I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering if the baggy jeans look good with this white cropped tee.
Mat Barzal sent you a text !
I click my phone open and read through the message
Mat Barzal
Hey; I know I said I would pick you up and I’m so sorry that I can’t tn. My friends girlfriend said she was willing to bring you. She’s super nice I promise. I’ll meet up with you as soon as I can. Pinky swear ❤️
Emma Miller
No yeah that’s alr
What do I talk to her about tho…
Mat Barzal
She likes books!! She’s the one I got Romeo and Juliet for!
It was her bday!!
That and I needed a reason to talk to you
Emma Miller
K, does she have my info?
Mat Barzal
Yeah I can send it to her rn; are you cool wearing my jersey?
Emma Miller
I’ll wear it, as long as it’s clean?
Mat Barzal
Ofc it’s clean, I gtg but I can’t wait to see you.
I feel a little bad for leaving him on seen but I did get his message; I go back to curling my hair and doing my makeup. I feel a brush of butterflies in my stomach.
I need to shut that down ASAP, but I really want to enjoy this. Because I know how it’s going to end.
607-914-9290
Hey Emma, I’m mats teammates girlfriend; what’s ur address so I can come pick u up 😨😨 also my name is Kasra
Emma Miller changed 607-914-9290 name to Kasra
Emma Miller
Yeah! Ok
Emma Miller shared her address
Kasra Bahman
Ok ok!! Can’t wait to see you 😍
I like her, she seems nice. I apply a little more blush before putting in my gold hoops before doing a little spin in the mirror. Af1s and a white leather backpack to carry some essentials in. Tampons, gum, tiny mascara, brush, perfume. Pepper spray. Everything a girl could ever need.
My phone buzzes and I do one last check in the mirror before walking out of my apartment and smiling as I see a girl wave at me. Her dark hair set into waves, wide eyes and those perfect eyebrows.
“Hey hey” Kasra smiles, “it’s so nice to finally meet you. Don’t tell anyone but Mat talks about you quite a bit”
I laugh and buckle myself up as we start the drive to the arena, “don’t take this as rude— but why are you picking me up instead of Mat?”
“Oh, yeah.. sometimes at home games the islanders have the team like do media management and walk ins. He was bummed not being able to pick you up” She says, leaning back a bit, “Bo was bummed out too; because usually he picks me up but I don’t mind driving you!” She clarifies looking at my unease
“Ohh, he must be your boyfriend?” I inquire as I apply some lipgloss to my lips
“Yeah” She grins; blushing and tapping her left foot against the footwell, “hes so perfect for me”
I smile at her, “your last name is Bahman right?”
“Yeah”
“Are You— Persian?”
“Yes! I am, are you?”
“Yes!” I cheer out, “my moms name is Amira! My dads white though”
“Oh how amazing is that”
I catch up to Mat fairly quickly, “hey, here’s one of my jerseys, it’s clean. Don’t worry” he smiles at me then quickly wrapping me into a hug after I put his jersey on, “this is so embarrassing to admit out loud” he whispers into my ear
“What is?” I whisper back, wrapping my arms around his neck
“How glad I am that you’re here… and how good you look in my jersey” he is soft to admit it and I allow myself a moment to run my fingers through his hair.
“Mm, I like this too..” I reply as his hands hold my back into him.
“I’ll see you after”
I kiss his cheek and push a bit of his hair out of his face, “good luck.. be safe”
I feel so cheesy; how blushy I am. How much I want to keep my fingers in his hair and hold him forever. How well I fit into him. How my heart jumps a little every time he gets slammed into the shields.
Kasra rubs my knee, “it doesn’t get easier. If that’s what you’re thinking. But it lessens.. the anxiety” she informs, gently patting before she moves to holding my hand again
“I just— ah I don’t want him to get hurt” I confess, “this is all so new to me”
She smiles, “drink. Oh baby drink like a fish” she laughs a little and I watch as Mat almost zooms past. I’d like to thing he caught a glimpse of me and that’s why he tripped over his own skates. But I think his laces were undone.
I’m sipping my second beer when the game ends, isles winning 4 to 3. I would feel bad for the Devils as they’re my home team but.. I’m proud of mat.
I follow Kasra as she greets her boyfriend; wrapping him up in a swift kiss and looking him over for cuts and bruises, “hey” Mat speaks out from behind me, “how was the game? Did you have fun?” He asks as I turn around and smile at him
“Yes, yes it was fun. You got slammed hard are you like uh— ok?” I ask him as he puts a arm around my shoulders.
“Yeah; I’m fine. Can I still take you out to dinner?”
“Mmh” I hum, “I don’t really feeling like going out out if you wanted to order in or something?”
“Yeah, honestly me too. We could go to my house and watch a movie. Get pizza? I have wine” He offers
“I don’t say no to wine”
By late late into the night I’m laid on Mat’s couch fairly drunk and absolutely rounchousing half of a pizza. He’s drinking wine and we’re talking and drinking, “so you work an office job” he asks; almost astonished at my confession
“Yeah, managing market sales. It’s alright. Not anything I’m too passionate about” I admit, allowing myself a moment to lean into him, “you don’t eat the crust?” I ask. Giving him that same wide eyed look he gave me
“No. Of-course not”
“You’re insane” I gasp out taking the crust off the box and dipping it into ranch
“Ok what’s even more insane is that you eat pizza with ranch!”
I laugh; that hearty deep soul laughter that has you rolling and wheezing. It’s probably the two glasses of wine I’ve had and the shitty beer during the game but I’m laughing. Laugh so hard I can’t breathe.
Even Mat’s laughing. The kind of laugh that’s deep and makes you stare with those kind of heart eyes.
He leans in a little, his ears turned pink a little. Hand nervously getting closer to mine. I can smell the wine on his breath and my heart speeds up, “I really.. really want to kiss you”
A little nob lodges into my throat. And I’m finding myself pulling away, “I can’t date you” I whisper out his eyebrows quirk, “because you’re going to want to get married and I can’t get married”
“Why.. Are you already married?” He asks. Sitting back
“No. It’s such a long story. I’m scared to get married. And you seem like the guy who wants to get married”
He nods slowly, “I do. But I also really like you” he admits, “I’ve come into that bookstore like seventeen times hoping to see you”
“I-“ I put my heads in my hands
“Emma. I really want you to be my girlfriend. And if that’s something you don’t do then I guess that’s ok”
“I- but what if you want to get married” I ask him, looking up at him
“I don’t need to be married. I don’t even know if I want to get married” he admits, “but if I do. I’m mature enough to communicate that. And I don’t expect to change your mind or anything”
I lean back, “I’m scared I’m going to fall so in love with you and you’re going to break my heart. Shatter it right into bits”
“I’m already in love with you, I’ll try not to. I will” He says, “and you can be my girlfriend forever. You never have to be my wife unless that’s something you want”
“I..” I nervously pick at my fingers, “I can try— I’ve been told I’m not the best girlfriend”
“Can I Kiss You?”
“Yeah. Yes you can kiss me”
LOVE STORY
Taylor swift szn y’all
Mat Barzal being in love w his neighbor
The day she moved in Mat was smitten. Filled with Californian sun and those long legs and dusty light brown hair. She’s got a little pep in her step but a shuffle as she slides into her flip-flops and grabs a box.
She’s followed by an older man and a younger boy. The girl still holds his attention; she seems a little disoriented. Not in a drunk way, but in the way that makes her wonder if this is actually her new life.
“Matty” He hears his mother shout out, “be a nice strong boy and help our new neighbors”
Although he wants to meet her; it’s not under these circumstances. That’s an awkward meet cute. And not one that he wants with her.
“Mom— I don’t know.. they seem to handle it” he groans out, “Shit woman ok” he sighs hearing her stop up the stairs
“Oh mat you’re such a baby. Go on. Be a good neighbor. I’m bakin them some muffins” She tsks smacking his back as he jogs down the steps.
“Fine fine I’ll give them a hand” the brunette grumbles out.
He shuffles a little, tucking his hands into his pockets. He tucks his shoulder in and looks a little bashful through his shaggy brown hair.
The girl looks over her shoulder at him, her hair swishes back as she looks at him. All wide eyes and new to this street.
“Hey, I’m uh. Mat.. Barzal I live next door” He introduces reaching his hand out for her to shake. She shakes his hand and nods at him. Eyeing him up and down
“You’re not wearing a Shirt” She points out, before she meets his eyes again, “I’m y/n” she smiles a little. Lip turned up a little and he can see her teeth. But just a sliver.
“Yeah.. I my mom. She made me come out an help. And I haven’t done laundry yet so” he shrugs a little and smiles nervously, “how can I help?”
“Uh. Just some boxes. They’re all labeled with like kitchen and bathroom n stuff” y/n shrugs as she reaches for a box with her name, “I’m just trying to get my room set up”
“Oh, ok. Yeah let me help you” he offers taking another box with her name on it. She nods and leads him inside.
“Are those your parents?” He asks; attempting to make small talk as she walks upstairs.
“Just my dad. She’s my stepmom.” The blonde rolls her eyes a little, “this is my room” she kicks the door open a little and he uses his shoulder to open it the rest.
“Oh. Ok. Uh is that all the boxes?”
“Yeah. Just for my room. Thanks” she mumbles a little taking a knife and ripping through the tape.
“I could help you get set up..” he offers
“Oh. Yeah actually that would be nice”
The two of them unbox and rebuild plenty of her furniture. She makes idle conversation and he replies, he makes conversation and she responds.
Mat watches as she ties her hair back, “so.. you play any sports?” She asks; he nervously looks down and nods, “what?”
“Yeah. I play hockey. With my dad” he purses his lips nervous from the Californians response
“Cool. Does this Highschool have a team or is it club?” She asks
“Both. What about you?” He inquires. Shaking his head a little
“Soccer. So does VHS have a soccer team? Is it good?” She asks leaning foreword a little
“Yeah. They’re good.” He shrugs, “will you try out this fall?”
“Yeah. I’ll try hopefully. I don’t know how willing they’ll be for a junior just barging in for varsity”
“Were you on varsity at your last school?”
“Yeah, I was”
“As a sophomore?”
“Yeah”
When school starts the two had grown closer, her hair went back to its soft brown color. And that natural curl was coming back.
Mat drives her to school and nervously looks at her, “I think I’m gonna try out for captain this year. Because I’m a senior” he confesses. Leaning back into the car seat.
“I think you would be a good captain” she tells him, leaning over a bit as the two sit in the parking lot.
“I hope. Would you come to any games?”
“Hell I’d wear your jersey” she teases. Her face smooshed against the car seat, “you’d be a good captain Matty”
“I hate when you call me that” he sighs softly, inching just a bit closer
“Why?” She inquires responding to his closeness
“It just..” he sighs and looks down, “my mom calls me that. And so does this girl”
“Which girl”
He leans a little closer to the glossy lipped teen, he looks at her lips then up at her eyes, “you”
“Why is it a bad thing?”
“It’s bad.. because when ever you say it. It makes me want to kiss you” he faintly whispers.
“So kiss me”
His hand reaches for her chin and tilts her head up bringing her in for a kiss.
She groans a little into it as his hand wraps around her neck and her arms bring him closer.
THE LITTLE THINGS
Nico Hischier x pregnant wife reader
Nico Hischier who notices the little things about you, like how after this roadie there’s suddenly a bunch of stuffed animals on the bed you two share.
He notices how much you’ve been sleeping and he doesn’t think much of it. He doesn’t want to pry because maybe you’re on your period and he doesn’t want to irritate you. But he asks if you’re ok.
“You ok babe? Jus seem a lil tired lately” He questions softly against her bare skin as she rolls on top of him. She puts her head on his chest and lets him play with her hair.
“I’m just probably about to get my period” she shrugs peppering soft kisses against his pec.
He doesn’t ask anymore questions but wraps his arms around you and rocks a little.
He notices the clinginess and it doesn’t bother him, the desire to be near him. Even if its just holding his hand while he talks with his friends at a bar. He even notices that you’ve stopped drinking. But that’s normal for you.
“You ok sweetie?” He’ll ask and you’ll nod. Claiming to just be tired.
He watches as you grow hot then cold in the middle of the night; how he leaves for a few weeks and all of a sudden you feel weird around him.
“It feels like you’re hiding something” he inquires one morning as she’s slowly eating cereal
“Oh” you’ll mumble into the bowl, “im pregnant” You drop the bomb on him like it’s a quarter in a washing machine, “there’s that”
“Excuse me?” He retorts standing a little straighter
“I’m sorry. I mean I didn’t mean to baby trap you but we’re already getting married so uh yeah. We don’t really use condoms that much” you shrug.
“Yeah. I guess so. Is that why you’ve been so clingy and maternal all of a sudden?” Nico asks as he sits next to you
“Yeah. Im about uh.. three months along? I found out maybe a week or two ago. I mean I felt something was off but I just thought my period was being weird or something” she confesses
“I’m so happy” nico whispers into her cheek as he brings her into a kiss, “we’re not making Jack god dad.” He tells her
“I agree with that statement”
Ynoffical
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Got married and did the whole baby thing
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Jamiedrysdale - what the freak when!
Ynoffical - idk when I got married
Trevorzegras - I love being a god dad
Nicohischier - hes delusional
Ynoffcial - may your delulu come trululu
Newjerseydevils - baby Hischier!
Ynofficial - BABY HISCHIER!!
Nicohischier
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I don’t post a lot but I think I should post that now I have a baby & a wife.
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INSTA-EDIT
Jamie Drysdale is officially a horse show bf
I could see him having an equestrian gf. Lol I used to compete when I was younger but I had a bad accident so I don’t compete anymore
Jamiedrysdale
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Officially a horseshow boyfriend :) @ yn.equestrian
Trevorzegras - Bros dating a Horse Girl
Yn.equestrian - I know. So sad
Anaheimducks - new mascot?
Jamiedrysdale - Im scared
Jamiedrysdalefan1 - stop this is so cute
Yn.equestrian - I totally agree! Also I love ur edits!
Jamiedrysdalefan1 - AH SHE REPLIED
Liked by yn.equestrian
Yn.equestrian - my best supporter
Jamiedrysdale - don’t let Erin see this
Yn.equestrian
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So grateful to my sponsors and my friends and boyfriend to this show experience!
Lemeuix - looking amazing as always!
Yn.equestrian - tysm! Love the new comp sets on him!
Erinwilliams_1 - ate this up today
Yn.equestrian - love
Psofsweeden - ❤️
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Jamiedrysdale - so proud of you baby
Yn.equestrian - ilysm You’re the best horse show boyfriend
HOPELESS
Nico Hishchier Angst
Why is it so hard to tell someone I love them? How do I love without being hurt? Why can’t I love him like he loves me? Sometimes I feel like somethings wrong with me; like I’ve been broken and I can’t be fixed. No amount of glue or tape could let me love.
“I’m afraid” I whisper one night; it’s scarier admitting my fear out loud instead of allowing it to circle in my head, “I’m scared that if I tell you I love you. You’ll walk out the door with a piece of my heart you cannot give back”
He shifts a little in bed, “how could anyone not be afraid? To love is to be changed— and to be changed is to be permanent” he replies, his hands tuck around my body, “you cannot reverse a change like love”
I want to cry; because how can he be so poetically beautiful and love me as I break his heart? How could anyone still love me? Choking on ‘I love you’ and any shreds of affection. I don’t know how to love. It’s not how I was raised; to love was to watch momma and pap bicker in the office. To love was to be in pain for the agony of another.
“I can’t love you. I physically.. I can’t— like I want to love you. I need to love you. Everything in me tells me to love you but when I look at you. And I try to love you I’m terrified” I confess, there’s a sadness that looms in the air and haunts our room, “if I love you. You’re going to leave me. Like everyone else”
He sits up, leaving me laying in bed, “Nico?”
“I don’t want you to leave me either. Everyone I have loved has either abandoned me or left me” He admits quietly, “I have been loved and I have been hurt. But so have you”
I want to curl up and die; the realization that I hurt him hurts more than him hurting me, “I’m sorry…” my voice trails off and I roll onto my side, “I shelter from people. When someone gets close, close enough where I could see myself being in love I run. I avoid and I hurt them before they can hurt me”
“I’m not letting you leave because you’re afraid. When I told you I loved you I meant it. That I wouldn’t leave you no matter what”
“You don’t mean that”
“I do. Until my dying breath or you realize how you’re so out of my league” he teases a little and he lays down again, his arm going around my shoulders and propping me up
“You’re too amazing”
“Then let me love you” He replies; pulling away just to face me again.
“You know I—“ I want to say I can’t, because I truly can’t love him like he wants and needs me to love him
“Hey, you’re ok. We’re ok. You’re not your mom and I am not your father”
“But what if” I try to reason
“What if we’re completely different. What if we’re meant to be?”
“Can I try?” I request, “let me try to love you like you love me”
MARRIED
JAMIE DRYSDALE WATCHING HIS WIFE WALK DOWN THE ISLE AND HE STARTS CRYING + insta edit
Weddings are already emotional, for everyone. But it’s harder when you’re walking down the isle hand clutched onto my dads arm as I watch my soon to be husbands bottom lip quiver.
He sniffles loud enough to where I can hear him, and he doesn’t hide the fact that he’s going to cry. His eyes suddenly water and a tear sheds.
My dad hands me off; misty eyed with a kiss on the cheek, “I love you” he whispers into my ear before Jamie takes my hands.
Jamie sniffles again, “you look so pretty” his lips purse and he’s trying his best not to cry. Trevor as his best man hands him a handkerchief in which he dries his eyes. At least before a fresh wave of tears sprout in his eyes.
He clears his throat and his voice sounds a little cracked and wavey, “I never thought I would love anyone like I love you. I saw you and it felt like my world collided and I was in awe.” He takes a deep breath, “but I was totally smitten. And I love you. More than any words could ever express and I’m blessed that I get to spend the rest of my life with you”
I feel light and giddy and I chew on my lip as I look at him, “Jamie” I start, “I love you. And I’ll always love you”
Jamie kisses me with a tooth rotting sweetness that has my toes curling and head spinning, he wraps an arm around my waist and lifts me gently as I put my arms behind his neck.
“Mrs. Drysdale” he whispers against my lips
“Mr. Drysdale” I laugh into our next kiss, a quick peck against my lips, “does this mean I have to come to all your hockey games?”
He smiles again, “just the important ones”
YnDrysdale
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Now vs 6 years ago
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Jamiedrysdale - love you more than words
Yndrysdale - ❤️❤️
Trevorzegras - GROSSS
Matbarzal - congratulations
YnDrysdale - thx bestie bops
Nhl - love to see it
Jamiedrysdale
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She’s stuck with me guys
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I ❤️ NY#13
MatBarzal
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6 years with this goof, and now forever. Goofball
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Newyorkislanders - wifed her up so fast
Matbarzal - took me too long
Matbarzalfan - ARE WE GONNA IGNORE GOOFBALL?
Barzalbabys - GOOFBALL GOOFBALL!!
Ynlovescats - I want forever too stinkydinky
Matbarzal - not stinkydinky
Jamiedrysdale - Bro did not beat the blonde accusations
Ynlovescats - don’t tell anyone I’m a fake blonde :(
Ynlovescats
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Thru it all. Now through forever. I love you Mat.
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Lianabarzal - A SISTER! YAY (thanks for marrying him)
Ynlovescats - You’re so welcome!
Matbarzal - my fav girl
Ynlovescats - You’re also my fav… besides Milo
Matbarzal - the damn orange cat
Katykits- MY GIRLFRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED 😭😭
Ynlovescats - ik pooks
Nicohischier - best fake blonde got engaged before me
Ynlovescats - now that’s insane @ katykits is single
Nicohischier - Stop playing match maker
Ynlovescats - Never
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL
Mat Barzal x fem oc
(Sorry it took me so long to get anything out I’ve been posting drafts! Bf got sick then he got me sick! So short but merry Christmas if you celebrate it!)
Four
I used to want a love of the ages, something that would make me feel like I was wanted. Not just there. I don't want him to just want me.
I dont know how to be a girlfriend- datings never been something I was good at. "What are you thinking about?" Mat asks as I run my hands along the leather casing of books.
"Stuff, like books" I reply trying to avoid the question he's going to ask
"Somehow I feel like books is a code name for something" He replies stepping towards me, “what are you truly thinking about?” He inquires
“Why?”
“Why what?” He looks at me with those big eyes that make my stomach twist into little knots and my knees buckle.
“Why me? Couldn’t you have had any woman at your fingertips?” I ask him; he shrugs in response and intertwines his arm with mine.
“It’s simple.. I think. Women throw themselves at me. You know. Puck bunnies. And sure I was content with that but I wanted something more.. someone who loved me for me— not just the number” his voice is calm and certain as we walk out the store and measel around the streets.
“I guess that makes sense, but how’d you know I wasn’t a puck bunny?” I question
“Well, the first time I walked in here, I was in my jersey and you still asked me for my name and not once did you mention Hockey. Even though the game was that night” he laughs a little and we walk back to my apartment.
“Do you want a glass of wine?” I ask as I punch in a code
“I would love that”
RAIN
smth a little out of what I usually do but its free write sunday <3
In the quiet of the night I can still hear it, against the rustle of sheets and my own breathing there is the soothing pitter and patter of rain against the roof. The slight hum of a heater dulls it for a moment; as I adjust I hear it once more. The tipping and tapping against my window-- I can hear it as the wind changes. The strong winds throwing themselves against my window, the thought of thunder as it crashes far away from me. I can hear the rain shift; a downpour to a sprinkle. The soothingness of it all attempts to lull me to sleep, I hear it on and off as I search for the cool of my pillow and my sheets. Finally I still; listening to the rain one last time, allowing my breathing to slow within its pattern, I’ll still against it’s lull; I grow heavy and allow myself to sleep. Once again being washed away by the rain.
TO BE MISSED
N. Hischier
(Getting back into the grove of writing)
I don’t want to miss him, on the roadtrips, or the games I can’t attend but I do. I miss the way he smiles and laughs, I miss laying next to him and watching whatever’s on the tv.
But also I don’t miss him; at the same time I like dancing in my underwear without anyone watching, I like sprawling about the bed and picking the show I want to watch. I don’t miss asking Nico what he wants to eat because I know what I want.
But I love when he comes home, the excitement of waiting and the love that rushes through me as he walks through the door. I love the way he wraps me into his arms and kisses my head. The way he loves me after a week away.
“I missed you” I whisper into his ear as he sets his bags down, finally hugging me with both his arms, “god I missed you so much”
I feel him smell into my perfume; and skink into my arms, “you have no idea— I missed you like crazy on the road” he’ll say into my neck as we waddle to the couch and lay on top of each other.
I’ll breathe him in and hold onto him, missing the feeling of his skin on mine.
We’ll spend our time like this; cooking together and holding eachother like we never get to do when he’s away.
“Nico, how do you want your pasta, pesto or meat sauce?” I ask
“Whichever one is easiest for you” he’ll always respond, which is why I love him. The simplicity of everything, how in the end it doesn’t matter as much as I get to spend time with him.
FAMILY SKATE
Nico Hischier
(Forgive my German it’s been so long sense I’ve spoken the language)
“You know I don’t know how to skate..” I trail off slightly as I look around; Nico on his knees tying my laces, “right? I think I’m gonna make a fool of myself” I try to back out of this but he holds my hand and hoists me up and I wobble, “I’m gonna fall”
“I’ll catch you if you fall, just breathe. Don’t worry” he reassures as I slowly walk my way to the ice; I take the guards off and walk onto the ice. Immediately tripping over myself and landing on my ass.
“So much about that catching thing” I retort as he glides over and helps me up once again
“I wasn’t ready!” He laughs, taking my glove off to hold my hand, “I don’t think you’re going to need these meine Leibe” I stare at him and nod as I let him lead me around the rink.
“Uh huh… hold my hand tighter I’m scared” I laugh suddenly- a quite and short burst of laughter that makes Nico look up from his focus on others back to me, “you ok?” I ask as he nods slowly. His finger feels around my engagement ring and he relaxes slightly.
“Just nervous, people are gonna see the ring on your finger and— I want them to like you. I mean I know they are but it’s still” he takes a breath and puts an arm around my shoulder and skates next to me
“I know, I’ll love you even if they hate me. I promise” I laugh a bit as he glides me into a smooth kiss, “oh it’s Jack and his girlfriend.. are they dating?” I question after question
“You know what.. I’m not too sure” he shrugs, “you wanna try a spin?” He asks and I stare him down
“Do you want to kill your future wife?”