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Let’s Read ATLA: The Search pp151-209

So I’m surprised that this was a part of the story I haven’t been spoiled on but I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on here. Yes, Ursa, it IS strange. I think you should run.

Yep. But also wtf. Ursa didn’t want to leave and Ikem is making this all about him. The whole thing where he has a new identity and doesn’t tell Ursa at first is also super creepy.

So while Ursa was stuck married to Ozai and had to watch him destroy her children, she wrote letters to Ikem - because she did love him! - because he was the only thing that gave her hope. And I can see why Ursa, as wrongheaded as that was, would want to believe that Zuko was Ikem’s. But Ikem didn’t receive her letters and went off into the spirit forest to become an incel, apparently.

Of course Zuko is willing to give up finding Ursa to help the waterbender and her brother, because they need the help more. He’s grown so much from the selfish person that was obsessed with his own honor that we first saw in book one of ATLA. And of course Azula sees that as a sign of her brother’s “weakness.” That also echoes what Ozai told Zuko about being Fire Lord, that he shouldn’t worry about morality because whatever decision he makes is the right one. Azula is also still stuck in that mindset, which is why she says that Zuko is weak even when he is strong, i.e., he’s the fire lord, so he should be just taking what he wants.

There’s just not enough of a narrative reason for Zuko to believe that this is the best chance of finding Ursa, though. Of course it is, but I don’t feel like the writing made that clear enough to the characters, who just stumble from one spirit shenanigan to another.

I like how the spirit, who announces herself as kind and benevolent, chose to honor Azula’s request even though she blatantly interrupted.

“As plain as can be.” That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?

So then Azula runs off because her entire motive is to like, kill Ursa or something. I guess that was the point of the whole hallucination plotline, so that Azula could have a motive for going with them. It’s still stupid, though. I don’t think Azula’s motive is just to kill Ursa, though. I think she also wants to reconcile the part of herself that knows, deep down, that her mother loved her, and is desperate for that love. But again, they could have done that without implying that Azula is CrAzY.

Nobody told me about this I have Important Questions. Like: Noren WTF?

Some of y’all acting like Ursa chose to forget her children without a second thought. Like, this traumatized woman is forced to leave her children with her abuser to save one of her children, knowing that he’ll probably be harmed anyway, and NOBODY told me that Ikem was the one who pressured her into forgetting her family because he’s a weirdo incel. It’s also really sus that Ikem gets to keep his memories and KNOWS who Ursa really is. And at this point Ursa has nowhere else to go, so she basically is reliant on this guy who has this weird kind of power over her, but at least he’s not Ozai, I guess.

But WHERE is the AU where Ursa gets a new face but keeps her memories, and finds a way to integrate into her children’s lives and protect them from afar?

“Not the OTHER pair of siblings that keep shooting fire at each other, they’re with me, but - “

I think the “everyone wants to be beautiful without realizing they already are” thing is a good sentiment, but Mother of Faces herself was the one who said Noriko was ugly. And yeah, that isn’t what Rafa needs.

Would Zuko ask for a new, unscarred face if he had the chance? Would he ask to not look like his father? Would he also want to forget who he is, especially now that he’s questioning whether he wants to be Fire Lord?

See, now, Ma’am, you can’t be all “the humans are insulting my work” when you’re like “I’ll sell you this poor sad sack for a buck fifty.”

The Mother of Faces is the one who offers Ursa the chance to forget, and I don’t think Ikem knew that she could do that so it’s not like Ikem intentionally wanted Ursa to forget, and Ursa is the one who accepts, and chooses to remember Ikem but not anything about her life with Ozai. It’s still creepy that Ikem has knowledge about Ursa’s old life that she doesn’t. Ursa makes the decision to forget her children in a moment of incredible pain while dealing with this trauma. She might have changed her mind later but can’t because she’s not even aware of what she lost. and so many people on tumblr write about this as if she made this decision callously just because she wanted to be with her lover, when she doesn’t really have much of another choice and right now Ikem is the only thing in her life that’s good. And to be fair, Ikem doesn’t try to hide Ursa’s old life from her when her kids come around. I still don’t like this, though, and Ursa is still a traumatized victim who is being retraumatized by this whole thing.

This man knows exactly who Zuko is and could have turned him away and even thought he was making the right decision by sparing his wife, and Ursa would have been none the wiser. It’s still shitty that Ursa doesn’t get to make that decision, but at least Noren isn’t trying to make it for her. Or for Zuko, who is welcomed by this family more than his own.

Zuko, honey.

Aaaand there we cut to another plotline. That’s a critique of this storyline I’ve already read, and it’s a consistent problem with these comics. You might think, “but surely we’ll come back to this part and not skip the emotional climax.” You would think.

I KNEW Koh was involved somehow!

So we get another story within a story of an estranged mother and son with the face/identity theme.

Then we go back to Zuko, but instead of getting Ursa’s reaction to Zuko’s revelation, Noren does most of the talking.

Oh, Zuko.

Then Azula comes in.

I compared the story of the Mother of Faces and Koh the Face-Stealer to Zuko looking for his mom, but maybe the comparison should be to Ursa and Azula, Azula resenting her estranged mother and blaming her for what she became.

And I know people dislike Kiyi as a character but none of this is her fault. I agree about the criticisms of Kiyi as a “replacement” for Azula but the thing is, she also exists as a foil and parallel to Azula herself. Azula terrorizing this young girl by threatening her mother because she was traumatized as a young girl over the loss of her mother. That’s the cycle of abuse for you, folks.

Neither Ursa nor Azula have the full understanding of the reality of their situations, but they still obviously care about each other.

Zuko moves to defend Ursa and maybe if he hadn’t done that, Ursa and Azula might have reached some reconciliation, but Zuko’s not wrong for being scared and wanting to protect his mother.

Azula says that if she kills Ursa then both she and Zuko will be free, because Zuko will also be free of a throne he doesn’t want. It won’t make either of them free, though. Zuko knows that because Azula right now is a lot like he used to be, angry and taking all that anger out on everyone around her because she thinks it’ll make her free.

This in contrast to Ursa choosing to forget broken family relationships. I think seeing what happened with Ursa makes Zuko want to try even harder with Azula.

But, like all the times Zuko lashed out at Iroh, Azula can’t handle her brother genuinely trying to reach out because it contradicts that world she’s built up to cope with her own trauma.

There is a part of Azula that wants to accept the love from her brother and mother (even if Ursa doesn’t remember being Azula’s mother, she did offer her love in that scene). But she can’t. It hurts too much. So she falls back on the old belief, that Zuko showing her love is just a weakness. Azula is also recognizing that Zuko showed strength by not giving up on being Fire Lord, although not for the reasons Azula sees the throne as valuable. Zuko knows he can’t give up the throne because it’s not just about himself, it’s about a duty to the world.

Mommy, I think we’ve angered the spirits now.

Though I didn't grew up with the original show, X-Men '97 has earn a spot for my favorite marvel animated shows and one the best marvel shows besides Moon girl of course! With fluid animation, incredible voice acting and epic fight scenes, I recommend you watch it without a question, it's gonna be hard to wait for season 2 but Deadpool and Wolverine is coming, so at least it can keep me preoccupied!

Here's a quick and friendly reminder that these two are played by the same actor.

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Cas is … hm, he’s gone !!

Art is too big for tumblr! higher quality version on my twitter

idk about you guys but I like the silly hat game and the funny mercenaries, lets keep TF2 alive and well, yeah?

I forgot to share it here, how could I..

I love this, a whole lot. It is very silly :3

Song: Shit by Bo Burnham

malevolent part 42 spoilers

this is how i choose to cope

CHAPTER 1 - BREATHE

Raph’s mind was drawing a gaping blank... Well, besides the panicked screaming echoing on repeat...

WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO???????!!

Today had already been full of uncomfortable situations. Enough tears had leaked through his eye sockets to rival those bad actors on one of Sensei’s tv shows. He became a stinkin’ breathing waterfall. Of..emotions. And now, here he was being clung to by a complete stranger. A stranger like him, but still a stranger. And now she’s crying TOO.

Raph lifted his eyes to the sky in a desperate plea.

Why did it have to be me?? Why couldn’t Mikey have done this?? Why do You enjoy stretchin’ me to my limit??? I’ve already been FEELING enough, now I got to deal with OTHER’S EMOTIONS???

Small hands continued to latch onto his. He didn’t try to pull away, but DANG IT ALL he was fighting against the constant urge not to.

I could text Mikey. Y-yeah, I could text him, he could come, do his little empathy magic, while I leave and sort things out… Ughhh but he doesn’t always carry his phone on ‘im. UNLESS OF COURSE HE NEEDS BLACKMAIL AGAINST ME- THEN IT MAGICALLY APPEARS IN HIS FLIPPIN’ HANDS.

The silence in the room amplified the awkwardness of his situation a staggering amount.

I could text Leo……

He wasn’t that desperate yet.

As he continued to try to make a plan of escape, a small sniffle pulled him out of his thoughts. He lowered his gaze back onto Lotus. However much of a complete stranger she was, she was still- well she looked just like a kid; So small and skinny.

And scared.

This… isn’t about me….right..

“Hey- hey, kid. It’s.. it’s ok. Ya need to calm down. At least take a breath.”

Lotus’ shoulders rose and fell as she forced a small puff of air into her lungs. It was pathetic, but at least she tried.

“I guess that’ll do for now.” Raph mumbled as he changed his position on the floor to something a bit more comfortable. “How about you do it again? In and out. Just try to hold it for three seconds.”

Lotus took another shaky breath in and was able to hold it for a little over two seconds, before she let it out again.

Still pathetic, but still progress.

“That’s it. Keep doin’ that. I know it’s been a bit.. scary comin’ here. Especially with my crackhead brother freakin’ you out… But uh- we may be freaks, but we don’t bite.”

Lotus finally looked up, and released some of her grip on Raph’s hand. It seemed that all of her tears had finally been spent, now replaced with a look of complete exhaustion.

It hadn’t been an easy day for anyone.

“Th- thank you, Rapha-…. Raph.” Lotus brokenly squeaked with a grateful smile. “You- you sound just like your brother.. The blue one- Um…Leo.”

Raph jolted in surprise as his brows creased in doubt.

“I’m nothin’ like him.” Raph offhandedly stated.

“Yeah sure,” Lotus scoffed, highlighting her exhausted complexion with a tinge of playful sarcasm, “ how could brothers ever act alike? My bad.”

Raph sat there with his mouth slightly ajar, blinking.

“I mean- YEAH, we’re brothers, but that doesn’t mean we’re all the same! This ain’t no cartoon where the only thing that defines us is our costume colors!”

“Huh. But you’re all soooo alike.. It’s probably a good thing you wear different colored masks, so people can tell you apart.” Lotus taunted, making Raph’s face burn in exasperation and a hint of embarrassment.

“N-NO, WE ARE NOT.” Raph sputtered indignantly, “I’M the tough guy, Don does machines, Leo’s the leader, and Mikey-” Raph takes a millisecond to think, “-We don’t know what Mikey is- But we are NOT ALL THE SAME.”

Raph looks back at Lotus and notices the gigantic, Mikey-Grade smile now shining on her face.

Little. Twerp.

Raph had to admit, it was funny. Clearly Lotus had enjoyed every second of tormenting him, but there was no way he was going to let her get away with it.

“Ya little brat! You’re trying to tick me off on purpose- what, did Mikey put you up to this???”

Raph playfully punched Lotus’ shoulder to congratulate her on a job well done. Though, going by her slightly pained expression after the hit, he realized he apparently punched her a little too hard..

“Heheh.. My bad..” He apologized as Lotus began rubbing her now sore arm.

“It’s fine..” Lotus snickered through a wince.

The room went silent.

Great. First emotions, now awkward silence. Just hittin’ all the marks today.

Raph used his unclutched hand to rub at his neck, as Lotus began looking around the room. Normally, during a moment of silence, a person would be contemplating what their next opener will be to a conversation, or even just taking in the scenery around them.

Not Raph.

No, he was too busy shriveling in the burning heat of awkwardness and feelings. He felt like a worm slowly getting cooked on the sidewalk.

Master Splinter had always taught Raph and his brothers the importance of caring for others; Putting their needs before your own and all that jazz. But just because he was taught that from a young age, didn’t make it any easier for him to do. He tried though! .. In his own way. A little jab to the arm here, a quick “good job” there… But that was the extent of his emotional capabilities.

And now here he is. The most emotionally-inept brother stuck with the impossible goal to comfort a weeping female turtle mutant. Fantastic.

The grating silence was disturbed by a prompt “SORRY!” from Lotus, as she finally released Raph from his prison her grip. Raph chuckled to himself as he began massaging his now freed wrist.

“It’s fine. You got a good grip on ya.” Raph was very grateful Lotus had decided to cling to his left arm.

“O-Oh.. Uh.. thanks.” Lotus shrugged, as she forced her hands back under the covers. She then tried to lay back down, but winced as she moved her recovering leg.

“O-ow!”

“Hey, you ok?” Raph turned to her, gripping his hand steadily on her shoulder to hopefully grant her more stability, “You shouldn’t be movin’ around too much. You still gotta heal.”

Lotus only nodded as a response, as Raph helped her lower her head back down to the pillow.

Ok- before things get quiet again- JUST SAY SOMETHING. Chat about the weather, favorite tv series- SOMETHING.

“Soo..Where’d you get those marks on your head and arms?”

REALLY?? THAT’S THE BEST YOU CAN DO??? Where do ya THINK SHE-

“..Um.. I was born with them?.. I think?” Lotus said in uncertainty as she looked over the star-like markings decorating her shoulders.

..She thinks?

“..How about you?” Lotus gestured to Raph’s arms.

“I was born with em’ too.”

“Even those scars?”

Raph’s pupils constricted as his eyes widened. His hand slowly raised to touch the deep green slash over his right eye, as his gaze lowered to peer at the lightning bolt scar imprinted into his skin at the tip of his plastron.

“N-nah. Didn’t get these until I got older.” His voice lowered almost to a whisper as memories replayed in his mind. He had to take a deep inhale to slow his brain down. He pointed up to the scar on his face. “This was an accident.”

Please change the subject.

“Oh..” Lotus nodded in understanding, “What about-”

Raph and Lotus both flinched as Don came staggering into the bedroom. His throat choked on every breath being squeezed out of his lungs, and his shoulders trembled.

“-DON?? What’s goin’ on? Are you oka-”

Raph looked into his twin’s eyes. He recognized the overwhelming fear plaguing his brother’s face. He knew it all too well. The silent link between the two connected in an instant, with message after message from Donatello.

( HELP. HELP. THEY WON’T STOP- I CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP. )

“Don, it’s ok! BREATHE.”

Raph watched as his twin’s gaze went from panicked to unfocused. He probably didn’t hear a word Raph had said.

The crimson-clad brother got off the floor and turned to Lotus.

“You good? I- I gotta take care of my brother-” He promptly asked, twisting his head from Lotus to Don with each word.

“Yeah, I’m fine-”

“-Kay. Rest up. Chill. Don’t move your leg. Take the two pills on the side table.”

And with that, Raph ran to his twin just in time to catch him before the purple-clad brother fell to the ground in a wheezing heap.

. . .

Donatello’s head pulsed with a deep ache as all his anxiety and fear combined into a tormenting storm in his body. Thunderbolts of adrenaline shot through his arms and legs forcing them to tremble. His instincts shouted for him to find help. GET HELP. GET HELP NOW.

Without his permission, his legs began moving towards the brothers’ bedroom. He didn’t register quite yet what he was doing, but it felt right to search for some semblance of comfort from one of his brothers. And by the fact that his heart rate and breathing were accelerating at a dangerous pace, he knew he needed to move as fast as he could before his low oxygen levels caught up.

HELP.

Donatello’s mind still thundered loudly with the echoes of his horrible memories, but then the sound of someone’s worried tone parted some of the clouds.

“-D-N?? W-’s goin’ on? - yo- oka-”

( HELP. HELP. THEY WON’T STOP- I CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP. )

The world remained a shadowed blur as he fought to gain back control of his body. The voice- Raphael’s voice, was telling him to breathe, which sounded like a wise thing to do. With each forced breath, Don’s vision slowly cleared. The red and green blur in front of him crystallized into the face of his worried twin. Don’s head continued to swim in the raging currents of adrenaline, but at least now he knew he was safe. The subtle waves of his brother’s comfort washed over him in a cool, refreshing tide. Fear and panic drained from his mind, leaving nothing but peaceful exhaustion. With a deep sigh, every ounce of adrenaline left him.

Quickly following his sigh, he all of a sudden felt the sensation of his brother’s arms wrapped around him, along with the coarse texture of grout and tiles scratching into his knees.

How did I get on the floor??..

Oh- right- Hyperventilation leads to low oxygen levels.. which leads to dizziness..

which leads to f- faaaain-

..I don’t feel so good…

“DUDE WHAT DID I JUST SAY!??! BREATHE GOSH DANG IT!!!!”

Ahhh my loving brother. So gentle. So polite.

“DON- Dude- DON’T MAKE ME SMACK YOU.”

Well that would be rude.

“I’M GIVIN YA TO THE COUNT OF THREE.”

..Why are we counting?

“ONE.”

Wait- what did he say again?

“TWO.”

Oh- he wants me to take a breath so my oxygen levels will return to normal leading to-

Don’s thought was literally smacked out of his head.

“H-heyyy!” Don coughed, after taking a big gasp after the blow, “Ow.”

“WELL- Ya wouldn’t BREATHE. I PANICKED.”

Raph’s smack wasn’t even that hard compared to those he’d given during one of their thousands of arguments. It was quite successful in clearing Don’s head..

Still though- ow.

And that's it for this chapter! :)

WE MADE IT GUYS!!! WE'RE OFFICIALLY IN BOOK TWO!!!!!! :) WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I have SO MANY PLANS for this book guys- I have a timeline, notes in my phone, in my notebook, AND on my computer!!!! THIS IS GONNA BE FUNNN~

I know my last book ended on a cliffhanger with the flashback, and TRUST ME- WE WILL CONTINUE WITH THAT- But first, I wanted to slowly bring you all back to the current story, where it's a bit more... calm, before I explain what happened to Don, Lotus, and Raph. Just take this little breath..

..cause you're gonna need it.

Anyways, hope you enjoy!! If you liked it, please feel free to reblog this!

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

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RAHHH TDPH ANGST BE UPON YE

finally im done with my first long animatic WOOOO