Endereies - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
✭ - KAY'S RULES!
༊*·˚ - I will not tolerate any unnecessary hatred or bullying towards me or anyone who associates with my writing. Respect is key and I would appreciate if everyone followed that.
༊*·˚ - I will be writing certain fics/oneshots that may contain nsfw content. If you are uncomfortable with any of this, they will be keyed in my masterlist or at the beginning of any of my works. I am not responsible for what you read.
༊*·˚ What I will and won't write.
╰┈➤ WILL WRITE!
18+ subjects, certain kinks, pet names, use of y/n and oc, certain troubling mental health topics such as self harm, anxiety, eating disorders.
╰┈➤ WON'T WRITE!
Un-consensual acts such as rape, scat or piss kinks, golden showers, incest. I won't be writing about Nick x fem or Matt/Chris x male as it goes against their sexual orientations. I wont be writing any threesome fics that contain one on one sex in an incestual form.
༊*·˚ Certain fics contains prompts, requests or an original character may describe certain features, backgrounds or skin tones. However, I will aim to create works that can be inclusive to everyone. if you feel I can improve on this, please message me. If you want to send in prompts and requests for certain storylines I am open to research and learning about aspects I can write about.
༊*·˚ Everything I write about (unless specified) belongs directly to me. I do not give any permissions for anyone to translate, steal or copy my works for any reason. As of now i am only writing for tumblr, any work written of mine that is on another app is not me. If you wish to take an idea of mine, confirm with me before and give adequate credits. Thank you.
✭ - KAY'S LINKS!
༊*·˚ I post daily on TikTok (edits of the triplets) and I also create artwork which I post on Instagram. For a few of my fics or oneshots I have created several playlists based around them. I have also made a playlist consisting of every song mentioned by Nick, Matt or Chris so I'd love for you to check it out.
༊*·˚ TikTok
༊*·˚ Spotify
No one can not change my mind that Chris's new tiktok isn't dealer!chris
Okay so. I wanna participate in the writing genres for October, such as flufftober and kinktober. If yall have any requests of shit you want me to write for them😘😘
I'm open to anything about either matt, Chris or both.
@bernardsbendystraws @patscorner @bueckerrss @missmimii @thecynthh
Sometimes i wonder how people are having all these fun college and uni parties, like its either im not invited to ANY of them or its more of an american (lies ive been called at 3am by my ex bsf when she was in a random field)
the last party i went to was my own 10th bday party. the rest have been family get togethers n shit. its nearly been 8 years SOMEONE INVITE ME I BEG
ATTRIBUTES AND QUALITIES - MS - BLURB
Pairing: bf!matt x gf!reader
Contains: The details of Matt as your boyfriend, on and off camera
Requested?: yes by @bernardsbendystraws - Request
Author's notes: This shouldn't have taken me so very long to write but neither should almost everything on my platform
Word Count: 1692
╰┈➤ SFW
༊*·˚ You both tended to avoid social situations, this included date nights
You had fixed your dress one too many times for it to slip Matt's conscience. It was adorned with two perfectly symmetrical bows which lined the skin of your shoulders. They barely reached the built in corset line, covered in a soft silk. It was so barely blue to the point where you could only see it in the dim lighting of your room. Pleats curve at your hips and flow to your knees. It was clear how much you were smitten with the fabric. Matt watched you steal glances at the mannequin poised at the front window, hence his insisted purchase.
Delicate touches, traced your hips from behind and as much as you felt unease within the situation, you melted into his touch. "Hi pretty" His voice felt so pure against your neck and you couldn't help but giggle. A few peppered kisses later, he leant back to watch the reflection of you both in the full body mirror. Knitted material covered his arms, covering sections of his darker belt. That was wrapped round his light-wash jeans that became a staple in his wardrobe.
"Hey Matt" It was a timid voice that escaped your mouth, you hadn't meant for it to. It faded into the air but when you finally looked up you were met with Matt's gaze, falling heavily on you. He smiled against your neck, allowing his breath to tickle he skin.
"You don't want to go out tonight do you..?" Guilt filled you almost instantly. You were aware that he had made reservations at this fine dining place he pointed out one late-night drive. It was a high end place but the atmosphere was one to be appreciated. Yet tonight you were dreading it.
"Baby, I'm sorry. I know you booked this fancy place but I-" His fingers quickly silenced you as he pressed them against your lips. He dryly laughed and turned your chin to face him directly. "I was hoping you'd say that..I just want to watch movies alongside you. How'd you feel with that, love?"
You sighed deeply, letting yourself relax onto him. "I'd love nothing more."
༊*·˚ He loved to make you feel safe and loved whenever he could
The last few days had been filled with thunderstorms that stretched into every evening. Tonight was no different. Several hours had gone by and nothing showed signs of the storm easing up. Clouds remained dark and your window was covered in drops of rain that sped down the glass. It wasn't that you hated the way the clouds lit up to reveal the purple hues. It was the way the thunder clapped unexpectedly that made you tense. It was deafening and not even the steady hums of your playlist could block out the sounds.
You had given up the idea of sleep and simply attempted to sleep between the duvet and pillows of your bed. Bunches of fabric were huddled near your chest and practically covered your face.
"Baby? I'm home!" Finally Matt had come home from his filming session that got cut early from the rain. They all agreed it would be better to continue when sounds of water and lightning didn't fill the mic.
He wasn't oblivious to the way thunder made you uneasy, he had seen you more than once feel uncomfortable and refuse to relax. Although never this bad.
Once he was met with silence, you heard him wonder around the house. It wasn't long before he creaked open the bedroom door. You could see the way his expression softened thanks to the bursts of light outside.
"Are you okay..?" The answer was obvious when he saw stray tears lingering on your cheeks. Rustling was quickly caused by the shaking of your head, not trusting your voice to not let you down.
He caught on your feelings instantly and slid under whatever duvet you hadn't bundled at your chest. You felt his body slide next to yours, the warmth welcoming. A sudden crash of thunder echoed through the room. Matt would be lying if he said it didn't feel good when you immediately reached out for him with closed eyes.
"You're okay baby.." Reassuring words slipped past his lips as he caressed your hair gently. "I got you."
༊*·˚ He always managed to slip your name into a conversation
Tara had thrown one of her iconic parties and as per Matt's request, you were by his side. Finally meeting some people you had dreamed of seeing for years, it was safe to say you were happy.
The whole night you were beaming alongside Matt and his friends. Dressed in a light silver dress that has small glitters embedded in the fabric, Matt could watch the way you shined forever.
"Hey baby? I'm gonna go with Nick and see Tara for a moment. I'll be back" It was hard to suppress a chuckle as his brother pretended to gag at the pet name. "Go ahead y/n."
With the lack of vibrant lighting, he easily lost you in the crowd but once he turned around he caught the eye of Jake. "Matt, didn't think you would turn up if imma be honest." His eyes took in his outfit, carefully put together. Laying on his wrist was a bracelet that caught his eye. "Woah, nice bling. How much was that?"
"Oh, I'm not sure, my girl got it for me a few weeks ago. She asked if I could wear it to match her dress tonight." A knowing smile crossed Jakes's face and a slight laughed escaped his lips. "Ahh is that so."
༊*·˚ He hates the way you think so low of yourself and would always defend against any negative thoughts you had
You had been shopping around stores on one of the rare days that Matt had no work on. You had been invited out to an event with your friends so it only seemed fitting to find a specialized outfit.
He was patiently sat outside the fitting rooms with the assortment of bags surrounding his feet. He saw a figure walk out and when he finally lifted his eyes, his jaw dropped. You were wrapped in a gorgeous red fabric that was cinched at the left side of your body. It had laid gently across your mid thigh.
You opened the curtain and revealed your outfit to Matt. "Woah.."
"I know, I'm not really a fan of it, I mean.." Your words trailed off as you looked down towards your stomach and hips.
"What are you on about? I'm obsessed with the way this looks on you, It looks even better when you feel that way too. This dress highlights your best features, baby. All of them."
You placed yourself in front of the mirror and tried to brush down any features you felt mildly uncomfortable with. Matt had come up behind you and placed his hands on your hip while resting his chin on to your bare shoulder.
"My pretty girl." He sighed into your neck and that was enough to pay for the dress with your Matt's card later.
༊*·˚ He would always pamper you whenever you felt unwell / on your period
It had been about an hour since Matt left your apartment. All you asked was that he pick up some chocolate to satiate your cravings, which had been an upset for the past six hours. The sharp pains in your stomach had only gotten worse, even after medication. Every time that Matt crossed your mind it only made you feel so needy, clingy. Like a burden.
Little did you know that Matt was rushing around several stores for more than your sweet treats. Any time you made a comment about something you liked, he made sure that you got it. A bouquet of your favourite flowers had ended in his basket, along with an assortment of treats, a candle with your preferred smells inside, a pink bath bomb and of course, Pads and tampons.
He hadn't meant to take so long but when you finally heard the front door of your apartment click open you were full of relief.
The gentle knocks on your bedroom door spurred you to sit up against the headboard, the hot water bottle across your midriff.
"Hey sweetheart, I'm back" His voice was meek, as if you had barely woken up.
"What took you so long, Matt? Did you get lost" A slight giggle passed your lips, met with a shake of Matt's head.
"No, baby. I just went on a little spree." That's when your jaw dropped. Finally, he pulled the bags from behind the door and placed them heavily at the end of your bed.
"So, at first, I was only going to get you the chocolates, but then I saw these Haribo's I remember you practically stole from me because they were 'too good to resist'." The bags of confectionary rustled on the blankets. "Then I saw this candle and it was blue, which grabbed my attention. Then I saw it was your favourite so of course I grabbed it. I had to get you pads and tampons. I know you alternate so I grabbed both kinds." A small pile began to form at your feet. "Oh! I also saw some fuzzy socks so they went in and i stopped at Lush to get you a bath bomb. They didn't have your normal one so i got a back up one for you!"
His gaze finally met your eyes, staring at the pile with tears forming. It was obvious you weren't blinking so that you didn't cry. You knew if you had tried to speak, your emotions would quickly be revealed. if they weren't already by your expression.
"Y/n..? You okay.. did i do something wrong..?" With an insistent shake of your head, you denied his words.
"You did all this for...me?" You looked up to him in mere disbelief. "Of course I did. I always will. I can tell you needed this."
"Matt...thank you.."
"You can thank me once I've run your bath, okay love?"
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@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerslover @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @sleepysturnss @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris
This whole situation is such a shit one to be in, no matter who it is. People need to actually get a life. Copying does nothing but make you look shitter. Love you forever rosey
I got a whole 8 hours before getting summoned back because people literally waited for me to leave to copy my shit. I’m still gonna know. Idk wtf is wrong with any of you who are being so utterly disgusting, but can we just like—take a long look in the mirror? And stop being so fucking stupid? It takes all my will not to cuss these idiots out. Especially the ones who have 3k followers from ripping people off and being fake as fuck. I’m not being ungrateful for taking care of myself. I don’t owe anyone anything. I never said I was permanently leaving. That’s the last thing I’ve wanted to do. I just want things to change—things that now I know only get worse when I delete the app. Do you know how defeating that feels? Just because you don’t see me going in and thanking people for showing love doesn’t mean I don’t. I show appreciation in private instead of airing out a performance rather than genuine emotion. There’s so many people who can attest to this so don’t even. I have a plan worked out for what I’m wanting to do. I’ll share more when I have everything sorted out, but until then—stop trying to walk all over me. I wanna @ some of you so bad, but apparently your reputation is the only thing you care about. It’s fucking tumblr. Get over yourself. You’re not a celebrity. This was never a competition. This was supposed to be fun and I refuse to let some people on here ruin that for me and everyone else.
✭ - FUCK IT - MS - MASTERLIST!
༊*·˚ This is the mini masterlist for my on-going series 'fuck it'
༊*·˚ Summary - Guitarist!Reader stumbles into Drumer!Matt and hesitantly becomes friends. They eventually become closer, not without complications of course.
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten
PRODUCER!CHRIS X DANCER!READER INTRO
Pairing: Chris x reader
Contains: A sweet introduction to my new au! Mood board based on these characters!
Requested?: no
Author's notes: I've been creating mood boards and backstory all day so I hope y'all are ready. I have wanted to create something like this for a while so I'm glad i can get this out.
Word Count: 690
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✭ - MusicProducer!Chris x Dancer!Reader
༊*·˚ Producer!Chris created his profile through the musical world, spreading his name through hip-hop. It was hard to not know his name since it was plastered everywhere. Starting at 16 allowed him a lot of freedom and time to experiment with his music taste and find inspiration he craved. Years later at 21, he has discovered an audience around the world who adored him and his music.
Ever since he was younger he craved individuality from his brothers. Don't get him wrong, he adored them. It was simply the constant generalisation that spurred him to be different. He didn't want to be just one of the 'Sturniolo Triplets', he wanted to be him. He tended to be hard-headed and tempered, replaced with passion as he grew older. One thing he couldn't manage was his work ethic, Chris simply never stopped. He never felt burnt out by it. It was the amount of pure energy that became his fuel. His lyrics and melody embedded in each song would often stray from how he truly felt, no matter how much it shifted.
Being based in LA, California gave him easy access to opportunities. When his parents realized how much he enjoyed all the aspects of music and experimentation, they placed him in lessons for guitar. Starting out with hires and a simple acoustic guitar he was understanding his tastes more every day. Even if his siblings began to thank the silence, the support from them was immense. With technological advances and stretching his talents over multiple instruments with age, Chris moved over to production.
However he wanted to branch out more which led him to the idea of creating music videos. Following the success of his second album he aspired to become more creative. Ideas for each song swarmed his head and his production team was on board with almost any thought he shared. One of which being back up dancers for is stage performances.
Without a second thought, his team sent out applications across the state for dance studios to step up to this opportunity. Little did he know that Elite Dance Academy soon become his favorite.
༊*·˚ Dancer!Reader is an internationals champion amongst her dance studio troupe members. Her name was recognizable within the dance community, having won her nationals solo twice in a row. As a strong independent dancer, it's hard to miss her confidence on the stage. Dancing since she was 4 gives her about 16 years of experience to flaunt to an audience.
As a child, dancing became such an expresser of emotions when her words failed her. Whenever things got bad at home or she struggled with school, dance started to be the one constant she could heavily rely on. As the years went on, she was enrolled in Elite Dance Academy, starting in J troupe. Beginning at the bottom of her new studio simply meant she had to force chances to prove herself, that's when auditions rolled around. At the age of 18, she finally found herself falling into the same rows as A troupe members. These dancers were intense and she adored it. Finding her strengths in contemporary and hip-hop, she excelled. Y/n wanted her name known, and that's exactly what she got.
She was determined to place her name above the ranks, almost posing herself to injury. She never quite got the grasp of making friends within her troupe, only being close to an odd two or three. Yet when necessary, she showed teamwork which won results. While being independent, anxious feelings would occasionally spiral as a fear of not being the best. She had to succeed and she felt almost like a failure when she didn't.
After eavesdropping on a conversation, Y/n heard news of 'Chris Sturniolo' being interested in our dancers. She ran with that news. At home, she studied his name, finding his Spotify easily. The vast number of listeners shocked her and immediately, she pressed play on his most popular 'Angel Energy'. Obsessed with his music, she choreographed certain pieces of a routine.
She was prepared to make her name reach more than the dance world, including Chris's mind.
tags:
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@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckers @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @sleepysturn @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris
No one fucking speak to me. I need him BAD
How would we feel if I wrote about bmx biker matt as well as producer chris.
I don't think we appreciate @bernardsbendystraws enough. Perfect ass motherfucker with the best humour. It can't just be me who smiles when you see her username appear. Hello? Like I wanna put you in my pocket and take you on cutsey dates. Ofc I'll drag matt along. DUH!
Just seen this
WHATT @sturnsreckless this is insane
Matt this you and panera girl???
JUST A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON
Pairing: Matt x Reader
Contains: You always go to Matt whenever things get hard, but little do you know he wants you to be there by his side permanently. Includes comments on weight, arguing, drunkenness - if I missed anything, let me know !!
Requested?: no
Author's notes: I definitely did not forget that I had this !! No happy ending in this one y'all <3
Word Count: 3815
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Going back and forth between California and Boston wasn’t an easy feat, even for the triplets themselves. And yet, you always stood proud at the airport, smiling at their exhausted expressions that plastered their faces.
Nick adored you, holding a steady peace sign against your head in the photo that was scattered on his desk. You found similarities between the pair of you that quickly became abundantly clear to others. The loud laughs that escaped your lungs were easily heard by surrounding spectators. Some lucky enough to the hear the jokes made while others watch you both heave with confusion. It was the raw consistency between you two that kept the friendship strong. You became a staple in his Instagram posts, being in the foreground of a restaurant setting or even the camera man that he’d credit in his stories. You were there. You’d find yourself caught up in a mini vlog sent over via Snapchat which wound you leaning on the sofa arm with a heavy head. He never could escape that life.
Chris was nothing short of Nick, cherishing each time Mario Kart blessed the screen in front of you. Being in the carpeted floors of your bedrooms often led to video game sessions. Stores on main streets allowed you to find a new game per week or so to indulge in. And obviously Chris joined. He always joined in, attached at your hip. Chris was always more physical than the other two and you frequently embraced that fact. You absentmindedly grabbed his arm for stabilisation whenever your laces came loose. Yet, he often acted the same, standing their on his phone, not paying attention to the small gesture. He was always one to pay things forward, so you’d find a can of your favourite soda to repay the same one you bought him mere hours ago. No matter how many times you tried to stop him, he practically insisted, how could you argue with him anyway?
Matt was less reluctant to open himself to you. He had a hard time maintaining close relationships with people, they often changed throughout lengthy seasons as the distance grew. He figured it would be the same with you. That summer entered his life as fast as you did, cool breezes enclosing around you while you greeted him. You never showed the slight disappointment when he replied with a meek smile. ‘That’s how he is, don’t sweat it too much.’ Nick’s words didn’t offer you as much comfort as time did. Two years went by and you stuck like glue to the three of them. Each trip they went on back home didn’t lack any calls between you all, initiated by Chris. Of course.
Each late night conversation and campfire story revealed each other to you. They typically ended with each of you swinging your legs on the logs as the marshmallow melts on a stick. He more or less listened to you ramble about random things whilst he acknowledged each syllable. Time drifted easily in those situations, Nick and Chris leaving you two be to rest.
He loved learning new things about new, writing things in his notes so he wouldn’t forget. That’s how he always knew what to get you in the convenience store, or even for your birthday. One thing he was surprised to hear about was your boyfriend.
Cameron wasn’t a name that slipped past your lips easily. It should’ve been. You only revealed his existence about 6 months after knowing the triplets, that’s when the questions came.
You loved Cameron, most the time. It was when he drunk that you tended to place guards up. It’s like he thinks that alcohol is an opening to say and do whatever he pleases whenever he pleases. He tried to push me into drinking occasionally, but after months of resistance, he gave up that idea.
But in this moment, your only thought was on getting the triplets home, so you did just that. The fast food that you collected each ride back from airports tainted their loopy grins with sweetened appreciation. It was nice to see the glint of affection within their eyes. Especially seeing Matt’s become frequent.
This was your third time collecting them up after their flights. When Matt asked you the first time, he seemed hesitant about asking. It wasn’t like you would yell at him and laugh in his face about waking up in early hours. They may have not been the most appealing, but it was worth it.
“Oh, come on! You had aux last night; you are not getting that privilege again.” One thing you had missed while you were away, were the loud personalities they possessed, but now wasn’t one of those times.
“Chris, can you stop snatching the lead it keeps hitting me!” Bickering emerged between himself and Nick within the first ten minutes of the drive back. Unlike the middle triplet who sat diagonal to you with his headphones blocking out each sound.
“Only if Nick gives it up, I have to listen to the new song Lil Skies released” Nick groaned almost immediately, mocking Chris with hand motions.
“Chris gets it for an hour, then Nick. That better?” Once more you felt the lead hit your shoulder, a little harder due to his eminent excitement. Yet you kept your grace and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.
-
When you all arrived at their houses and immediately a few things stand out. Nick was asleep. Chris was asleep. Matt was awake. Your eyes glanced at Nick first, watching his still form except his chest which rose with each steady breath. Unexpectedly, you caught Matt’s own gaze on you. His eyes narrowed with forecasted fatigue. However, his lips twitched upwards into a genuine smile.
The sound of the engine finally switched off with a turn of your keys, for once you could really feel the tension among the silence. Darker clouds seemed to roll in steadily and you were just thankful that you managed to arrive on time. Your body pushed the door open with a click, making the car brighter with the sudden lights.
Matt immediately lets out a giggle as Nick groans, covering his eyes from the warm light that turned on directly above him.
You took it against yourself to carry the boys’ luggage out of the boot, the cases as identical as themselves. The only difference were the coloured tags wrapped around the handles.
Nick and Chris both murmured small ‘thank you’s’ and left with their cases in their hands, struggling to open the door as quickly as normal.
“Thank you again for doing this, you really didn’t have too.” A whispered voice takes your view away from Nick and Chris and focuses on the middle triplet standing next to you.
“You know that I’m happy to help out, all you have to do is ask.” Due to the darkness, you couldn’t see his face, yet you were positive he was smiling. You could practically hear it.
“I know, we all do, doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate it.” He said quietly, pausing for a moment as if he wanted to speak more. “Do you want to sleep over tonight? It is late after all…”
As if it was fate, your phone buzzed in your back pocket. It rang with the familiar tune you set for your boyfriend, it wasn’t long before Matt grimaced.
“Hi Cameron, I was about to ca-“ Your words were cut short by a short yell from the phone, heard by Matt.
“Where are you! It’s nearly midnight and your ass said they’d be home by half eleven at the latest.”
“I’m sorry, we got caught up in traffic...” You genuinely felt apologetic, even if you hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Get home. Now.” He attempted to act stern and yet his words slurred and mixed between the next.
Before you could respond, he hung up quickly. Air harshly left your lungs in a deep sigh. Matt heard everything. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak first, the embarrassment was too much.
“I’ll take that as a no…” His attempt at a joke worked slightly as you let out a breathy laugh.
“Yeah, sorry. Another time I guess” Your voice was timid, yet it wasn’t due to being tired.
“You need anything, you let me know, alright?” His case was now alongside his frame, the handle barely reaching his stomach.
-
“Cam..? I’m home!” Sounds of your voice echoed off the empty walls of your shared apartment, Cam’s to be exact. You decided to move in with him, more of less he forced you, but it was still happening. You knew he was home since you heard the voice lines of his Call of Duty character running low on health. You also knew he couldn’t hear you.
You simply sighed and placed your bag onto the counter, picking out a spare protein bar you didn’t get around to touching through the car ride. Water drains from the Stanley you got bought a few weeks ago, by Matt of course.
Cameron came slumping down the stairs, his footsteps thudding in comparison to yours. After all, he was drunk. His slurring confirmed that.
“You took forever, you said it was gonna only take you three hours.” He didn’t necessarily lie, yet he didn’t consider things could go wrong.
“Baby…I did say that there was traffic, you know I can't text and drive to let you k-“ He shut you up with a sloppy finger to your lips.
“Always the excuses, huh! Never admit you’re fuckin’ wrong, can ya?” Your head hung low while the skin of your fingers wrapped around your sleeves.
He didn’t utter another word, only strings of mumbles as he walked away. Not a single idea that traversed your head made sense as to why he’d want you home, if he was just going to walk away from you. It made you question his behaviour, nothing that you would converse aloud, not in this state.
-
It wasn’t long before another thread of hurtful comments were thrown your way early in the morning. It had only been a week since that late evening, however all your boyfriend seemed to crave were the hot tears that fell from your lashes.
“Come on y/n, the dishes aren’t hard to do! Do I have to do everything around here!” With each word he spoke, another tear rolled down your cheeks, the redness growing with each second. You hadn’t meant to cry, you had actually tried so hard to keep it together. Although the moment he attacked you directly, you snapped.
“You’ve become so lazy with yourself, do you even take care of yourself anymore..?” Almost immediately, you looked down at your body, hidden underneath a loose shirt and hoodie. You weren’t sure if that was a subconscious choice.
His hands gestured to my body lazily with his hands,
“What do you mean” You hadn’t meant to let your emotion seep into your voice but once it began, it only grow.
“Don’t act like it isn’t obvious, or do I really have to spell it all out for you. You’ve gained weight.”
His glass of wine practically slammed on the kitchen counter, surprise filling you at how it hadn’t managed to break. He’d done that before.
“Go sort yourself out, such a pig” The sound of his voice is muffled under his breath, but he made sure that you heard it, the sly grin said it all.
Oh.
Your gaze lightly treads the apartment to see the high load of dishes that were in the sink, remnants of the earlier stir fry tracing the air around it. Excessive scrubbing seemed to do something to ease your emotions. Which ever ones they were. They were too tangled in your stomach to distinguish any particular ones.
Sharp sounds from the scouring sponge hissed into your ear as you harshly stroked the pans. You hadn’t even realised the force of it until the paint starting chipping across the bottom. All you did was blame the hot water and throw it on the drying rack.
Every deep breath felt like a little more air than you had left your lungs. Even your body wanted to force out that feeling, not that you blamed it.
Why does love hurt so much?
A charger and spare clothes were soon stuffed into a small, black backpack, one that was bought for you several Christmas’s ago.
Keys jingled and rattled against the wooden door of your apartment. You left. It was easier if you did. You wouldn’t annoy Cameron anymore and you wouldn’t get belittled by his drunk attitude.
Your eyes stared at Matt’s contact on the screen, the profile picture from an old festival you dragged him to. A deep breath forced its way out of your lungs as you swiped up. The ringing tone echoed in your ears along with the slight breeze.
“Hello?” You were relieved when he answered the phone, a change of emotion filled you. His voice was raspier than usual and a faint shuffle of what you assumed were duvet covers could be heard.
“Hey, I’m sorry to call this late but can I come over?”
“Of course, what’s the occasion.” His voice seemed to light up at the thought of seeing you again.
“I just need some fresh air I guess... and a possible rant” The words trailed off, hearing him sigh in the background.
He doesn’t speak for a moment, soaking in your words. “It’s Cam, isn’t it?” Matt took your silence as a yes.
It was like that for a moment. Silent. You couldn’t tell why, was it Cam? You knew he hated his name falling from your lips. The same lips you didn’t know he craved. However, you only hated saying it when he was drunk, it was a beacon for mercy. The next day it felt like heaven once he was sober. Until it repeated of course. Matt had grown to hate that name, the presence. Even if he wasn’t such a dick, he knew he would remain in the same mindset.
“I’ll leave the door open, I think I still have your ice cream. If Chris hasn’t taken it.” For a second you forgot it wouldn't be just you and Matt in that house. “Are they awake?”
“At 2am? Nick is out like a light, Chris has a meeting early in the morning. so he's passed out in his room."
The sky grew darker as the night went on but that didn’t matter. Not when you arrived on the porch of the triplets’ house. As you went to wipe the exhaustion off your face, sudden tears became evident to you. You pulled your hand away to reveal a glisten that coated your hand, the lights subtly highlighting your sadness.
Quickly, you wiped your hand and used it to knock on the front door.
You stood there for only a few moments before the door slowly creaked open, as to not wake the others. Matt's hair was evidently tussled which you can only assume is by his interrupted sleep. That only made you feel more guilty. Porch lights above you both highlighted a few features, his eyes being one. They were filled with emotions you couldn't quite pin-point. Exhaustion, irritation, care? You weren't sure.
"Are you goin' to come in? Or stand there in the cold looking upset?" His body moved towards the door, leaving me room to walk through. As soon as you step inside, the cold air is immediately replaced with a warm atmosphere. A sigh escaped your lips at the heat surrounding your body and turned to Matt with a grateful smile. Yet by now his expression remained more stoic than before.
"Let's get your ice cream and a drink, then we can talk, yeah?" Before you could respond he brushed past you to the kitchen, the light illuminating the room. You simply traced his actions with your eyes before moving forwards to help him grab the few cans of drink from his arms.
"My room?" His voice had grown gentle, trying hard not to grit his teeth at the conversation they were about to have. "Yeah, sounds good."
His room wasn't anything fancy, just some simple pieces of furniture scattered around his room, along with the several monitors on his desk. His duvet hadn't seemed to be made yet it somehow looked better than most times you saw it. A few clothes are sprawled over the edge of his chair but little to no mess covered the floors. You and his brothers mentioned making the room more him yet he seemed content with his hung poster from Hawaii.
You placed the drinks from your hands onto the bedside table and looked towards Matt who did the same with snacks and confectionary.
Once you both got settled the air grew heavy. You laid the blanket up to about your shins, while Matt was completely on top of it. It had been a few minutes of silence, with the occasional sip. He knew not to force the situation, but it was hard when tears brimmed in your eyes.
“Do you think I’m... gaining weight” You shunned away from him, seeing his body tense up a little was enough to cause a reaction. You had always been a little conscious of your weight, that was nothing new. Yet it hurt, knowing that someone who you actually cared about diminished you to one quality. Matt saw this too and edged a little closer towards you.
“Did he say that to you.” His tone was brittle, like any one of your next words could fluctuate his choices so easily. You ignored him, he attempted to avoid the question, knowing how much it made your heart ache.
“I didn’t even notice anything until you pointed it out. I see you for you, not what your body shows. Honest.”
You knew he meant it, letting a small smile twitch at the corners of your mouth. Until the rest of Cam’s words struck you again. You hadn’t meant to cry, in fact you wanted to avoid it. Letting his words affect you counted as a win, a win to his drunken state. He was so caring when he wanted to be. He seemed to want alcohol more, however.
“He called me a pig…He made sure I heard it.” You stammer slightly before giving up. When you mustered up enough courage you looked towards Matt, but he wasn’t looking at you. Only the section of blanket he shoved and gripped between his fingers. He seemed to zone out slightly after each comment you made.
“He just gets drunk a lot, and… you know how he is whenever he is drunk. I can’t get through to him. He is really a sweetheart but- “Matt’s sharp voice cuts off my tear-ridden words.
“Is he.”
You looked up at him, it hurt him to see your eyes red and glossed over. He wanted to concentrate so hard on anything but his seething emotions towards your boyfriend but he couldn't help it. You ran to him because the person who supposedly loved you belittled you so much. It hurt to see you unhappy. It hurt to see you crying in front of him. It hurt him to see you stay with him.
He watched as you lowered your head, causing him to before doing the same. Hot tears stained your cheeks as Cameron's words echo repeatedly, old and new. The names he called you sunk deep and made you feel so shit about yourself. It shouldn't get to you, but you loved him, so much. But, it wasn't ever meant to feel like this.
It took a moment of silence before Matt reached his body towards you. His hands wrapped around your waist as he gently pushed your head to his chest. You felt as his hands gently rubbed your back, slowly but enough to be noticed.
"M'sorry, you don't deserve any of this, never...Please don't believe anything he says. He has no idea what he is talking about."
"I love him, really I do, it's just-" You found yourself lacking any other words to explain yourself with but even so, his grip simply tightened, shunning you to silence. "You don't have to explain yourself. Let's just take your mind off things, yeah?"
It had been an hour and you had fallen asleep beside Matt, gravity falls on a low volume in the background. After getting up to place rubbish in the bin and return the ice-cream to his freezer, he re-entered his room. He was aware you were a light sleeper and avoided any floorboards he knew made sound and moved quietly around his room.
He was happy to see that you had drunk the can of drink he gave you along with some of the snacks. A few still resided in the packaging and he sighed a little. The comments that your boyfriend made has obviously left a slightly mark on you, he noticed the hesitancy a few times but chose to stay silent. If he spoke he feared he'd spark something neither of you wanted to deal with.
His attention turned to the screen before him, the end of the episode nearing. With no sign of you waking any time soon, Matt lifted the edges of the duvet you hadn't touched and shuffled underneath them. Some distance remained between you, not wanting to make anything awkward. However, he couldn't resist placing his hand on your head, rubbing it back and forth. Brushing a stand out of your face, he stayed like that for a while.
When the episodes credits rolled to black, Matt grabbed the remote and switched it off. Silence filled the room, less tense than before. The words that Cameron said about you, to your face, bubbled in his mind. He hated how you slowly grew to hide yourself away. Anything that made you the person he adored was slowly being pushed away and all he wanted was for you to feel like you could be you.
Tiredness started to take over his body, his eyes growing heavy and a soft yawn passing his lips. His head leant back against the headboard while his hand continued to run through your hair. Your face was perfectly rested against one of his pillows, a bundle of the blanket tucked snuggly into your chest. A bittersweet smile crossed his face as he took in each of your features.
Matt laid himself under the blanket, his hand eventually leaving you with the distance he made. As his eyes grew heavy once more he gave you one more glance, muttering a few words before falling asleep by your side.
“Loving you is the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced.”
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@melliflws @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckers @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @jnkvivi @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @shorthairchris @missmimii
Guys, I have to stop with the au's I have too many ideas I can't keep up with
This song gives me one to many ideas.
I'm editing matt to $uicideboy$ right now. I am in my element don't play