Dark Poetry - Tumblr Posts - Page 3

I stood dead at a grave that was not mine

a friend of a friend long since gone, though

killing me only now.

grief is as death,

is as life,

is as humanity.

suspended in a bubble of hiraeth

the tear frozen on my cheek

in the subzero sunlight,

my home is a person,

and they are too far from me

god will never love me the way he loves you,

and that is all the assurance I have in this world.

so hold me on the way down,

and do me no harm,

i cause myself enough injury

from day to day, love

red wine drips from lips

like blood and

god knows it’ll never

be enough and

each hit burns like

it’s the first

you think you just might

die of thirst and

dorian, you’re gonna die

but pretty darling,

so am I

so you and I,

we’ll go down together

you’ll destroy yourself

and I’ll haunt you forever

nothing left to say but

beauty does not stay and

paint it fades and dries and

time it always flies

I am not a girl,

but rather a boy in the way

that I am burdened a daughter.

disappointingly so.

the screaming that bounces around the inside of my skull is back to grace me with its presence. guttural and keening and feral.

i take another sip from my soda can and pretend i do not hear it, because to let it out into the world, where it would transform from visceral agony to banal noise, would be worse than enduring it silently. at least this way i can still feel it. at least this way no one else has to.

Your smile, Your laugh, your eyes

Caution! This is a poem that has dark themes such as death, murder, and obsession so if you’re uncomfortable with that stuff please be warned!

Your Smile, your laugh, your eyes

So beautiful and bright,

So sweet and pleasant,

An abyss for my soul.

I feel sick, Insane.

I can’t let you go.

Not now.

Our first dance, It was beautiful,

You made me feel alive,

My reason to live.

But I can’t live if you’re with someone else.

So please,

Just this once,

Dance with me this one last time,

Before the sirens take me away,

Before the blood on my hands,

And the blood on your shirt dries,

Before the bodies spoil and die.

Let us enjoy this one last dance

As I stare into your panicked, and beautiful eyes.

As I kiss your trembling lips that once held a smile all mine.

Your smile, your laugh, your eyes,

All beautiful,

All Mine.

Hope you enjoyed!

For a whole week I was a bundle of nerves and only a thin sheet of mercy held me from losing myself. Half the time I was dizzy and suicidal, the other half of the time I was truly mad.

I'm mad at myself for attaching myself way too much towards you yet you didn't care. I felt the trepidation of our ending so heavily that I didn't care. I didn't listen to my instincts because my heart was busy loving you, my mind was busy planning how we'll end up together forever. I sincerely blame myself for being horribly ignorant. I honestly regret.

i'm only truly happy when i'm too high to feel

when the world seems more like a dream & completely unreal

most days I’d do anything not to feel

let’s get high & drink, smoke, pop pills

i probably won’t ever stop, it’s my only thrill

feel better for awhile & tell myself to chill

it’s just bandaid over a bullet hole, this shit will never really heal

08.28.2023

2:31 A.M.

🌬️

CINDER BLOCK ON MY CHEST

In the dead of night, usually around 3AM

My head is spinning with thoughts of everything we did

And all of the words I wish I could’ve said — but I didn’t

Then feel like I can’t breathe, the guilt sinks too far in

I wish I could just ask you,

What could I have done to make you stay?

I thought I could change your fate

But the debt was just too much to pay

And as much as I hate to say

It’s just a little too long, I tried to wait

All of these years

Now it’s just too late

08.09.2023

4:10 A.M.

LOVE BRINGS HATE

It never comes quite at the right time

When it finally does, you don’t get to keep it

It gets you so high, but it’s fleeting

You’ll be on the floor begging “don’t leave me”

Like a drug you crave it, scratching & feigning

But that never really stops it from leaving

It leaves you broken & bleeding

It looks so ugly but it’s taste is the sweetest

Makes fools of once logical people

A war between good and evil

Love, what a beautiful demon

09.17.2023

4:40 A.M.

🖤

ASTIGMATISM

I miss you more than you know

It’s probably bad for my health

But you know like I know

We just gotta play the hand that we’re dealt

And if that means we can’t be

Together, right now or even forever

At least I still see your face in my dreams

And all of our memories, I’ll keep

The hands on a clock don’t stop, don’t rewind

But I want to go back, when you were mine

You’re gone but I don’t understand why

I’m falling apart, why do you seem just fine?

All I see is us in my mind

You ripped the sun from my sky

And when you leave me like this

There really ain’t no sunshine

Asking God if I could just go back

To the exact moment in time

To the night that I met you

I knew the stars had aligned

—

We could have made it, right?

Does it keep you up at night?

Does it make you wonder?

Does it eat you alive?

Have to tell myself lie after lie

Or I’d end up going out my mind

And I know it’s not my fault,

But I should’ve kept you inside

Cant no motherfucking body say that I didn’t try

I would’ve laid down and died

Pathetic but fuck it

You were my entire life

God only knows how much of my soul went with you

I’m just a ghost you left behind

And maybe we coulda been fine

Maybe not, but I wonder all the time

And ain’t it Fucked up how only now you realize

My love for you was more than alive

Took for granted, Jesus Christ

Now all you can do is sit and watch it die

No closure, nothing

You can’t even say goodbye

Then all of a sudden

Everything is 20/20

Like damn, I should have seen it coming

Hindsight

09.20.2023

2:18 A.M.

🔍

IDOC

People say stay away from you

& I tell them to fuck off

Let them talk & let them judge

I’m a fool for your love & irs just the two of us

Take a chance roll the dice,

Life ain’t fair & love don’t play nice

But me and you, you & I

As long as I got your heart, you can have mine

Space & distance don’t factor in

And I forgot about all the time you gotta spend

Away from me — locks & bars & keys

Miles apart but I still know your heartbeat

Think of me instead of the concrete

Go to sleep, sweet dreams

And when the sun comes up again, you’ll be one day closer to me

10.02.2023

1:56 A.M.

⏳

CHANGES

I don't think like I used to

Love was never my friend

Isolation was an answer

Losing my mind, I guess

Hijacked, robbed of my control

Empty mind, you can knock, nobodys home

Learned you quickly, I hated to see you go

You gave me a love I have never known

You are tangled into my soul

With you I’m safe, your arms feel like home

What I hate the most is you’re really gone

So my heart is locked up & you have the master key

Which means until they let you go, I’ll never be free

And sometimes your absence haunts me

Feels like I’m coming apart at the seams

A little dramatic? Maybe

But I can’t help what you do to me

Fuck being sad, I feel incomplete

Tell me how to stay alive with half a heartbeat

So many miles and hours left to see

Far apart, years between

The ones I love the most I never get to keep

Promise me one thing

When you come back

Please don’t ever leave

10.02.2023

3:07 A.M.

🩶

GHOST OF ME

I guess I’m dreaming,

about you

Don’t wanna see your face

But when I fall asleep

It’s something I can’t shake

The images of you

Everything I wanted us to be

What we could have been

Only exists inside my dreams

But It felt like love, I think

I guess I wanted to believe

But I was young and untouched,

Never realized I was being too naive

Your aftertaste still on my tongue,

It’s nasty, it’s bittersweet

I never knew what hindsight was

But now I see you perfectly

Everything was make believe

I fell into a love that would never be

But i still can’t help remembering

The way your voice would surround me,

Your laugh is engraved deep into my memory,

Your name is a scar branded on my skin for the world to see

And when I finally sleep

I have wild dreams

Behind my eyelids I escape my reality

and I go to a place,

Somewhere far away,

Where everything is frozen in time and space

When you and I were one in the same

But now I don’t even get to hear your name

All I hear is my voice echoing

Behind my eyelids I can see your face

But I can never get to you,

I’m always running in place

It’s a sick game to play

Then it’s over, and I am awake

You came like a plague

And I couldn’t see

All the damage that you’d do

And how permanent it would be

What are you, a man or a beast?

Sick in the head — depravity

Looking at me like a piece of meat

Something to hunt, something to eat

You crawled into my sheets

Slept next to me

What I thought was love was insanity

I never thought you were a thief

You walked right out with everything

My body, my soul, my sanity

You took things that are not yours to keep

And now my existence is only the ghost of me

She paces constantly, and sometimes I hear her sing

She haunts me when I’m awake,

And wakes me when I’m asleep

12.11.2023

5:47 A.M.

CAUTERIZATION

When life gets hard

I get high

Smoke in my lungs

With tears in my eyes

Clouds of bad habits

Billow up at the sky

Say it’s unhealthy,

You’re probably right

But I couldn’t care,

It’s how I get by

Pain is a drug to me

I lack the ability to react emotionally

Pain is normal,

A common thing

Distorting the lines of reality

And even though I know

It may one day kill me

As lethal as it may be

I don’t ever ask it to leave

Desperation… to feel anything

I would let all the hurt, swallow me

And to explain it; there is no analogy

It’s all in my soul, you see

Nothing I could write,

Nothing you could ever read

Could make another human being

Feel just how it feels,

to feel absolutely nothing

03.17.2024

2:45 A.M.

He’s still in the county jail, they haven’t taken him to prison yet. Said his out date would be some time in 2028. I don’t see how it could be that soon, somebody probably miscalculated & I’m not getting my hopes up. I hope I can change in the years that he isn’t around. I hope I can get my shit together. I think I will. I know I will. I’ll be 28 next month. I wanna be happy again.

What if you never understand me?

A thought that plagues my trepid thoughts, it haunts my mind and petrifies my conscious into a willful stillness

As I attempt once more to make sense of the fingertips that have crept around my waist, holding me steadfast

they are stained by a light blue, I note the fading tincture

as your grip hungrily marks its territory upon my flesh

discarded watercolors

that had ornamented your most recent artistic venture

self-exploration into the deepest layer of an egotistical finding

I never even corrected you when you called me the wrong name

one, two, three times under a single starry night

for I wore that stranger greeting like a name tag

A declaration of the simple fact that you noticed me:

(perceived, observed, looked right back into my hopeless eyes)

a badge of honor in the highest degree

of uncertainty that I may be worth more than to be understood

for if you don't, who will in this wild world?

agrestal and swelling amongst a dying field

born from a scorching flame that had discarded me into a wicked maturity

an Earth that beckons me back to the warm soil from which I arose

a peaceful residence in burrowed hideaways with the soft dirt and the solemn dwellers

I have fallen upon concrete one too many times

skinned my knees, painted my skin fading hues of plum and reddened ivory

the past had faded into scars upon supple tissue, a stark reminder desperate to be remembered, to be felt with a passing gaze

that I am forever a mortal being

with bones to snap and tears to cry and a heart to break

-lauren a.p

Letters by Kayla Renee

The ghosts come out with the downpour of the rain

and the memory of you leaves me barren

Vivid images pass through my brain

It's power- a force one cannot imagine

I am mesmerized by the moth flying in the mist

and the cobwebs gathering in the corner

The moth- he knows utter bliss

While I- I am the mourner

Mine is a soft and delicate heart

It pains to write you these words

Tear drenched letters- I do not know where to start

I long to simply fly off with the birds

The light of the lamp is blinding by my side

blurring my vision as I write to you my goodbye

A piece of my heart washes away in the rain

and each word that I write breaks a piece in my chain