Youfecklessthug - People Be Gay

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

Any one of these on its own could have been a coincidence, but all of them together definitely seem like some kind of game they're playing with the audience.

Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.

And REGARDING the Vegas marriage business. What happens is. Roy, as the best man, holds Beard's bachelor party in Vegas, because Beard is feeling some homesickness+ the lads tell Roy it's a great place to have a stag party these days and he trusts them for some reason.

The groomsparty (Roy, Nate, Beard, and Leslie Higgins) don't want to go off the rails for various reasons including Beard being sober-ish, so they decide to just take weed gummies and go to a couple bars or whatever.

But Roy's tolerance is not what it was when he was a young man doing these things, so he completely freaks out at the idea that Beard is actually going to be marrying fucking JANE and Roy is fucking leading him to the slaughter. So Roy is like I need to talk to someone who will be wise and levelheaded and give me good advice about what to do, preferably based on experience. I'm going to reach out to my 25 year old unmarried jackass best friend.

So naturally Jamie comes up with this insane plan where Roy Nate and Leslie basically gaslight Beard into thinking that there's a British tax law that would give the club itself benefits if two of the coaches were a married couple, then convincing Beard to marry Roy (because then he won't be able to marry Jane obv.) Roy, Nate, and Leslie are all looped in and because they're all high out of their minds they agree to doing Jamie's stupid hijinx over like, sitting Beard down and having a conversation with him.

Long story short they pull it off and Beard and Roy are legally wed under false pretenses of tax breaks.

Meanwhile back in Kansas, Ted delivers a classic folksy monologue when his son Henry Tedlasso quits soccer to join the glee club