Practice

Practice

Doodles before sleep.

Some more facts about merman!Peter:

• when he is nervous, he unconsciously tugs at his hair and instinctively covers his gills with it

• prefers to swim in rivers so as not to swim out into the open sea (his aunt lives there)

• hates to openly show his fear and gets very angry when he is forced to do so (it applies to human Peter too btw)

• can make a high-pitched dolphin-like screech when suddenly startled

• he can breathe air outside of water, but he uses a human respiratory system to do so, not gills (I haven't fully thought through the anatomy of mermaids in this AU yet, sorry)

• his gills are very sensitive

I just suddenly remembered how about a year ago I read a Frederick/Peter fanfic, where Peter was not killed and he fled to Prussia, where Frederick comforted him once after a nightmare, because this creature was heavily traumatized by the events of the coup.

It was the first fanfic about Peter that I read, and yes, it was definitely an experience. Now this mental image lives in my head rent free whether I like it or not I like it

So, since I have nothing to post, I'll leave these guys here. This is my portfolio work, drawn back in June, so the quality is not the best. These guys are my OCs (have nothing to do with Pavel btw), Kenrick and Augustus.

I saw these two in a dream, but I don't remember the plot, so their lore is pretty messy right now. But the gist is that these two are at court, plotting against each other, but they don't know it, and everyone around them has to watch over and over again as these two can't put two and two together. Love these dumbasses :3

definitely not me feeling the constant urge to make any sort of content featuring one specific russian emperor until hyperfixation burns itself outta brain

A little rant post with fast sketch as a treat.

Sooo. I wrote down some characteristics of this man that I think would rather fit him. Let me note right away: this is not an approach to Peter as a historical figure. With the differences and contradictions in information about him that we are dealing with, it is impossible to say anything specific about him in 90% of cases. Rather, I am creating a character based on my vision, headcanons and some information that I know about him. I am not a historian and do not claim to be historic. Please do not be offended.

So, in terms of character, I imagine Peter as:

• rather naive

• not the most responsible, if he is not interested in the matter

• quite infantile

• rather smart and witty, but has not learned to use his mind properly

• nervous

• impressionable

• quite a simple man

• frivolous

• meticulous

• stubborn

• hot-tempered and generally with a changeable character

• childish

• talkative, but at the same time secretive (although he does not know how to lie convincingly)

• straightforward to the point of rudeness

• a dreamer

• well, and cowardly, let's be honest

There's more other qualities I'd gave him, but I don't remember them at this moment, so let's stop here.

What follows is my lengthy discussion of some of Peter's particular ways of thinking as I see and know them. The topic is vast, so I have only touched on some aspects, of which there are in fact many more. Again, this has very little to do with a real historical figure. Don't take it seriously.

The reason for such a set of personal qualities is most likely the peculiarities of his upbringing (in particular, the years of physical abuse he experienced) and the almost constant loneliness that he faced in Russia. However, in my opinion, he himself is partly to blame for the latter. He probably couldn't cope with the shock of such sudden and large-scale changes in his life (in particular becoming a russian heir all of a sudden) and preferred to remain who he, in his own opinion, always was and should be - a german, a Holstein Duke, a lutheran, etc. This was his psyche's way of protecting his own self, but this same method later played a cruel joke on him. He himself began to create a psychological barrier, a gap between himself and others. In fact, he locked himself in his own little world, the order in which he considered the only correct one. This was banal escapism, to which Peter, stubborn by nature, resorted for twenty years. He resisted any external pressure (for which I blame one specific period of his upbringing and am very angry about this) and was very reluctant to change his behavior pattern, which pushed people away from him even more. He did not want to understand them, and they did not understand him. He got close to those around him only if they supported his hobbies and indulged his inclinations, which often harmed him. And this also later led to his defeat in the political struggle with his wife.

Also, escapism could manifest itself in games with soldiers, passion for the army, and so on. The army was also like a separate small world with its own clear laws and hierarchy, in which Peter felt quite comfortable and safe. There's also place for a compensation for the lack of control over his life and the circumstances with which he lived until the death of his aunt.

It is also worth mentioning the complexes and insecurities that he certainly had. Their list includes his desire to match the image of a soldier (in this case, a Prussian one), which existed at that time. This image was closely associated with such external attributes as drinking, smoking a pipe, and various uniforms and other army things. But these are all external signs that Peter resorted to, since he himself - nervous, sickly, afraid of thunder, blood and the sounds of gunfire - could not match this image. This has a very direct relation to the influence of toxic masculinity on Peter (which is quite a big and complex topic on its own, so I won't go deep into this), as a very subtle person, as well as to another complex of his, connected with his sexual life. There is no clear answer to what the problem was, but most likely it was phimosis. One way or another, Peter's perception as a man suffered because of this, and he understood it perfectly well. That is why he tried to demonstrate and prove that he was a man in all other, external ways. He drank, smoked, showed cruelty that was not typical for him, while not being some kind of evil person. It can also be mentioned that he tried to prove his masculinity first of all to his wife, who, as it happened, took on the leading role in their relationship, but I will not go into this. One way or another, Peter clearly did not overcome these teenage complexes and lived with them until the end of his life (although he clearly wouldn't admit it), which, in fact, is very sad. Man just wasn't meant to be the ruler of an entire country and circumstances only made things worse.

And in the end we have a very lonely man who never managed to grow up and decided to replace reality he didn't like with a little world he only felt comfortable in. He tried to find his happiness, but circumstances and his own personal flaws did not allow him to do so. A very depressing outcome, but the history of the vast majority of royal families is depressing and full of existential drama, so nothing new.

In the end Peter, in my opinion, was neither a fool nor a misunderstood genius. He was just a weirdo. In those conditions and at that time in which he lived, there probably was simply no place for such a person. And that's sad.

I wanna squeeze this man in hug so hard you can't even imagine