Yikes-ajax - Yeeters Gonna Haw

Today I show insider photos of an anonymous worker at the biscuit factory

who was fired for treason against the nation and illegal operation of heavy machinery under the influence of hard drug nepeta cataria, commonly known by many as "catnip" in slang. They were incarcerated on March of this year after an intense fight broke out in the workplace over their "dingy-fish-stick", which enforcements have defined as a recreational toy, when the manager, AJ, attempted to take this toy from them. AJ and another employee were unfortunately caught in the crossfire, but are in stable condition and expected to make swift recovery. Date for trial has yet to be set, and a bond has not been given.

We understand that this is a deeply disturbing event that has shaken the infrastructure of biscuit businesses everywhere, small and mainstream alike, with rising numbers of such attacks as catnip makes its way through the nation.

The biscuit factory has already released a statement, saying;

"We are taking executive action immediately to ensure our employees feel safe and secure, and are working to encourage healthy conflict resolution. We send our sympathies to those who have been shaken by such violence, and hope to collaborate in an effort to build a safer environment."

More information will be released as things develop, thank you.

We thought we saw it at full power, but it was only getting warmed up!

Touchdown?