I Should've Known Something Was Up When Jest Gave Cath A White Rose. It Was So Obvious And Yet I Ignored

I should've known something was up when Jest gave Cath a white rose. It was so obvious and yet I ignored the signs because I wanted Cath to be happy and the Queen of Hearts? She was anything but :)

I don't know why, but this Christmas I decided to greet everyone I know online a Merry Chirstmss. I don't know why, but chatting people I haven't talked to in years made my heart happy. I greeted them and they greeted back. I even managed to chat to five of them and have a long conversation with them even if it's been years since we last talked. Is it the Christmas spirit that's making such an introvert of myself do these stuff? I've never even greeted them on their own birthdays online, where on Earth did I get this spark of confidence lol.

Just wanted to share my Christmas moment and Christmas confidence (?💀)♡♡

I hate dreams with every fiber of my being t.t

WHY DO THEY MAKE ME SO ATTACHED TO THE PEOPLE THERE ONLY FOR ME TO WAKE UP AND NEVER DREAM OF THEM AGAIN huhuu

Like legit I just got married in my dream (marriage of convenience, or arranged marriage for some reason. Don't ask.) AND THE GUY WAS SO SWEET AND STUFF, SAYING HOW HE DIDN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED BUT IF IT WAS WITH ME HE WAS OKAY WITH IT. Then he said "I might just fall in love with you." LIKE UGH ♡♡♡♡ MY HEART.

YOU CANT GIVE ME A ROMANCE STORY, FRIENDS THAT ARE LIKE FAMILY, AN ADVENTURE, ONLY FOR IT TO BE IN MY DREAMS, TO NEVER BE EXPERIENCED AGAIN OR BE CONTINUED, LIKE C'MON :(((

looking through motivating after-break-up posts gets me ://. not gonna lie, I so want to blame him for everything, get mad at him, maybe that will help me move on. and those "he didn't love you since he didn't..." or "you were in a toxic situationship" posts really can help me get angrier but I can't. Well I won't. because I'm not mad at him, it wasn't his fault, nor was it mine. because we really did try. we just met the worse versions of ourselves and tried to be together in our worst.

now I understand that famous "I want to focus on me" line. how hilarious.

I'm afraid of dreaming.

Well, it's more of the "concept of dreaming" than the dream itself. If I dream thriller, I don't care. If I dream horror, I wouldn't mind. If I dream of such a cliche romance, it wouldn't bother me. But it's the dreaming itself I'm afraid of. If I take a 1hr nap, I could dream a year-long dream. If I sleep for 8hrs I could live in that dream for months. Even if it's just a short, 30-minute sleep, I could be in that dream for a lifetime. And sometimes it takes a toll on me in that dream and in reality. There are times I didn't want to "experience" something but "I" endured it because it was "reality", only for me to wake up and realise that I could've avoided experiencing that experience if I just woke up. And sometimes I would wake up empty, trying to remember my dream that I know I spent a long time on. Only to do the laundry and remember what happened and apologise to the guy who saved me back in my dream because he died just to save "me", who wasn't even from that reality. All in all, whether the dream I ventured to was a different form of reality or not, I'd still continue to dream. I have no other choice anyway.

I just wanted to read some one-shots and fanfictions, mostly angst and let me tell you I TRIED.

I look at the _____ x reader tag, only to see SMUT. Just full on smut.

WHY IS EVERYONE HOR KNEE