I Should've Known Something Was Up When Jest Gave Cath A White Rose. It Was So Obvious And Yet I Ignored

I should've known something was up when Jest gave Cath a white rose. It was so obvious and yet I ignored the signs because I wanted Cath to be happy and the Queen of Hearts? She was anything but :)

I'm afraid of dreaming.

Well, it's more of the "concept of dreaming" than the dream itself. If I dream thriller, I don't care. If I dream horror, I wouldn't mind. If I dream of such a cliche romance, it wouldn't bother me. But it's the dreaming itself I'm afraid of. If I take a 1hr nap, I could dream a year-long dream. If I sleep for 8hrs I could live in that dream for months. Even if it's just a short, 30-minute sleep, I could be in that dream for a lifetime. And sometimes it takes a toll on me in that dream and in reality. There are times I didn't want to "experience" something but "I" endured it because it was "reality", only for me to wake up and realise that I could've avoided experiencing that experience if I just woke up. And sometimes I would wake up empty, trying to remember my dream that I know I spent a long time on. Only to do the laundry and remember what happened and apologise to the guy who saved me back in my dream because he died just to save "me", who wasn't even from that reality. All in all, whether the dream I ventured to was a different form of reality or not, I'd still continue to dream. I have no other choice anyway.

What's wrong with being different when everyone else is just the same?

Me: I make up fake scenarios in my head and make the story I've recently read/watched my whole personality

My parents: it's because of that damn phone! *serious face*

Me:

How did we reach that conclusion

looking through motivating after-break-up posts gets me ://. not gonna lie, I so want to blame him for everything, get mad at him, maybe that will help me move on. and those "he didn't love you since he didn't..." or "you were in a toxic situationship" posts really can help me get angrier but I can't. Well I won't. because I'm not mad at him, it wasn't his fault, nor was it mine. because we really did try. we just met the worse versions of ourselves and tried to be together in our worst.

now I understand that famous "I want to focus on me" line. how hilarious.

I just thought of this earlier but

Don't follow the string of fate. Pick up a pen and write your own destiny.