There's A Popular Moral Trend Of Selflessly Doing For Them, Without Questions Or Expectations. But It

There's a popular moral trend of selflessly doing for them, without questions or expectations. But it ain't practical to let them exhaust your resourcefulness till you turn into an empty pot, till they diminish all light within you, till they pull you out of your own alignments. So much that, you stop looking at your own worth and feel proud of how giving and loving you are.

What do you want to send yourself? The cheesy message of being the oh-so-perceived light of the world, or the strong message that your settlement demands same in return. That if you are kind enough to give, you must be alert enough to not give all of you.

I love being trusted as a secret keeper. Like come dear, shed all your secrets in me, and I am so good at it, that I shall forget that myself or atleast pretend to forget for the sake of your security. I shall not talk about it again, even to you, so your forget you even shared it with me. And I shall go down in my grave, proud that I kept my words of keeping it a secret.

What about the feeling when you have heard so many stories, so many perceptions and so many thoughts that you know too much about people, who know nothing about you?

What about the feeling when out of politeness they ask about you, and when you start to reply, the story somehow triggers their topic and they become the subject?

What about the feeling when after all this, they believe they love you, for being their emotional support, but oblivious to the fact that support goes both ways?

What about the feeling when wanting same energy, support, love and compassion is considered selfishness and only self burning is considered the true form of affection?

I don't know if everyone has this urge or I am the only one. The urge to stop it all, the time, the people, the events and bring it to a dead end, and then create a world in my own room. A book in my hand, a warm cup of coffee, less sugar, a story of conflicts between a misogynistic and a feminist, and me changing sides everytime someone messes up between the two. I want to feel that break. A break where the superficial world will cease to exist and my own inner one would dominate the realm. I want to feel this feeling but still not loose my hold on this world. Because ohh the misery of the world within me, if I start to live the all in my inner one, I will loose it all too, here in this world.

This process of growing close, growing together and then growing apart. Life is such a tragedy.

There are instances when I am absolutely absent as a person. The instances I question myself what is the point of all this? And then I think of the humans I have my best moments with and there is the point. The point where my existence, and all the rashness of the world seems worth bearing.