The Words When In My Head Were So Divinely Beautiful That I Bathed In The Joy Of Having Them. But As

The words when in my head were so divinely beautiful that I bathed in the joy of having them. But as soon as they left my mouth, they were rusty, dirty, meaningless and I felt ashamed of ever uttering them.

What is this dual character, dear words!?

People often love you in a way you do not understand. That doesn't mean they don't love you. Like your definition of love is different from their definition of love. So may be your ways of loving are peculiar, not understandable, non-aligned, that still doesn't delete your membership in love.

"Will you protect me from the fire?"

"Ofcourse!"

"Will you help me climb that mountain??"

"Yup! Absolutely!"

"Do you love me??"

"Love you? Not a chance!"

*

Not all who love you would express it out aloud in poetic phrases and stylish sonnets. Some types of loves are beyond the circumference of words. In a way, words are too small, the entities to justify the humongous expanse of feelings. Or that if I say it, I'd make it small. Non admittance of love doesn't mean denial of it.

As the winters are approaching, I feel glad my longing for soft, big clothes, that hid me well will finally be realised. It was as if summers exposed me, to the harsh heat of the world, and winters shall enclose me back in the shell I have created among the cozy blankets. Oh oh oh summers! Never come back!

I lived in a four walled house, and had a roof above me for shelter. The roof above me, had another roof above it to shelter it. Like I had a trust that both roofs together will not let harm reach me. Now after this storm, the topmost roof is gone, and the roof above me feels abandoned and isolated. I feel scared. Now, we both are vulnerable. The roof above me, a little more than me. I just wish I myself collapse before this roof above me does, so I don't have to feel the pain the debris will cause me. But if this happens, the roof will be immensely hurt.

Why is life so cruel?

I still live in a four walled house, only hoping the roof above me stays strong forever.

There are instances when I am like 'you okay?', 'did you eat?', 'take care!', 'It will be fine..', 'be safe..', and then there are instances when I am 'Go to hell, and contact me for address!'.

That's no fight between my angel and devil part. Infact, they are best friends and often sit with warm coffee gossiping about the people I encounter everyday. They analyse and decide accordingly who, among them, is to show up, at what time, and before who. And me? I just trust their decisions.