I Have A Personal Society Within Me. A Part Of Me Wants To Break Free And Give No Damn To What I Think

I have a personal society within me. A part of me wants to break free and give no damn to what I think of myself. A part of me is too judgemental. A part of me wants to succumb to what the world has devised for me. A part of me wants to play the devil and feel like a hero. A part wants to know nothing and just rest like a wild bore hibernating.

Though, all these parts, have to follow a course of life, the one I create for them, restricted between norms, but still liberating enough for myself. I'd progress anyways, even though some parts may not like the progression. I'd kiss all inhibitions bye, even when some parts beg not to.

-My inner society.

I am afraid of my heart, of it's constant stopping and starting. As if it is threatening me every moment, daring me to do something against it's will, and it will stop to never start again. Irony is while I write about my heart's control over me, I try my best to control it. It's a constant battle of power and whosoever wins will lose too. If it wins, I may lose against the world. If I win, the heart will have it's wishes curbed.

There is nothing like absolute acceptance. When people look at us, get to know us, they classify all our goods and bads. Accept the goods, and suggest us to rectify our bads, in case of friends and spite us for those bads, in case of enemies. But that is where it stops making sense. Genuine care lies in atleast attempted absolute acceptance. We love someone for everything they bring themselves with. All the roses and thorns. And if we love them dearly, we ask them not to prick with their thorns, instead of totally abandoning them. The small but subtle difference is what constitutes truthful and compassionate association.

The comedy of life or the tragedy of death.

What should I believe in?

"Your walls were so low, I am literally dancing in your garden right now, with my haphazard steps destroying your most favourite flowers.", they said.

I looked at the dead flowers on the ground ready to decompose as if never there, "You see the flowers in my garden don't define me since I have a storage of healthy seeds back home. Keep dancing till your legs hurt."

And then I walked inside my home, settling on my cozy couch, a warm mug of coffee in my hands, looking at the funny view outside.

The best thing about Indian culture (or any if they practice this) is how we are taught that a book is a holy object even before we ourselves perceive it's utility. Apparently, it is to tell us, and also drill in us, that no matter what era or year comes, nothing can be more beautiful than a book. Never. Even after being made of the most trivial material, it is the most non materialistic things in the world. The godly level of sermon. The salvation in between the heaps of papers.