Beomgyu In La

beomgyu in la

Chameleon Boy (Part 1)

Pairing: Gryffindor!Jin x Ravenclaw!reader

Words: 6.3k

Genre: Hogwarts AU, also pretty sure I created the new genre of Idiots to Morons to Lovers...

Warnings/rating: SFW (but with a fun sprinkle of spice), cursing, reader is emotionally constipated, Jin is somewhat of a perfectionist, mild violence

Author's Note: This is part of the BTS Hogwarts collab hosted by @homeofbangtan! Loosely based on the concept of the song Chameleon Boy by Blue October. I enjoyed writing this fic SO MUCH, y'all. So much that it became a behemoth novel of a thing, totaling 24.3k in total (parts 2 and 3 forthcoming)! Special thanks to @ttaetae for the banner, @min-yoon-kween for being my official beta reader, @hyungieyoongi for being my unofficial beta reader and official hype woman, and @sunshinejunghoseokie and @mochi-molala for putting up with me sending you ideas and snippets of story for over a month straight!

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“Kim Namjoon!”

You wince over your Full English sitting in front of you...it was entirely too early in the morning for anyone to be yelling that boisterously across the Great Hall. You look over your shoulder to see Kim Seokjin, Gryffindor’s Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, walking purposefully towards your best friend, Kim Namjoon, who’s sitting next to you.

“Kim Namjoon!” Seokjin repeats, clapping him on the shoulder and sliding onto the bench between the two of you. His broad shoulders push you down the table.

“...yeah? What do you need?” Your friend smiles up at him, dimples forming in his cheeks.

“I wanted to pick your brain about the essay we had for Herbology. I know the Venomous Tentacula is poisonous and turns you a color if you drink its juice, but for the life of me I can’t remember which one, and I couldn’t find it in the text...care to help a friend out?” Seokjin smiles at Namjoon pleadingly.

“What, had one too many bludgers to the head and can’t remember?” You scoff. Seokjin swiftly turns towards you, suddenly remembering you’re still there. His movement shoves you further down the bench, conveniently towards the edge, where you proceed to topple off completely and land on the cold stone floor of the Great Hall. You can hear sniggers from the Slytherin table as they watch the whole exchange.

“Are you okay?” Seokjin asks, eyebrows raised in concern. He leaps off the bench and offers you a hand to help you up.

“No thanks to you, Seokjin,” you huff, refusing his hand and standing up on your own. You dust yourself off and start to gather your books to leave.

“Call me Jin, everyone does,” he offers up, trying to get you to look at him so he can properly apologize for his carelessness.

You continue to scoop your books into your bag, and only turn to face the boys after you’ve slung the bag over your shoulder.

“Joon, I’ll see you later in the common room. Jin, was it?” You smile with sarcasm dripping from your voice. He hums in acknowledgement, too afraid to push his luck with an actual sentence.

“Venomous Tentacula juice turns the drinker purple. It’s on page 394 of Flesh-Eating Trees of the World.”

Jin stares helplessly after you as you stride away.

------------------------------

“Smooth, Kim.” Jin turns around, only to see Park Jimin, Slytherin’s Seeker, rolling his eyes at him from the next table over.

“Mind your business, Park.” Jin snaps, ears starting to turn red.

“You made it my business when you shoved that poor girl onto the floor in front of the whole school. I’m sure she loved that,” Jimin sneers.

“I said mind your business, Park. You forget I can dock Slytherin points for you talking back to the Head Boy.”

Jimin just glares in response. Jin turns back to Namjoon, gives a hurried goodbye, and heads back over to the Gryffindor table.

How in the world was he going to make up for embarrassing you in front of everyone at breakfast? He knew he had to figure something out, and fast.

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Jin is still wracking his brain trying to come up with ways to apologize to you as he walks to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Maybe he could do some fancy charm-yes, that sounded good. But wait...what was he going to do, knit you a scarf? He rolled his eyes at that thought and went back to square one in his head as he opened the door and headed to his seat.

Maybe he could bake you something? He was good at kitchen charms, he had the evidence (or should he say lack of evidence) to prove it every time he made treacle tarts or pumpkin pasties for his team. Jungkook would never shut up, asking him continuously about the next time he was planning on making something. Little did JK know, he was planning on making something special for their first game against Slytherin the following week. He smiled to himself thinking about it as he pulled out his quill and paper, prepared for whatever the lesson of the day was. He had to make sure he was on top of his game if he wanted to be a Curse-Breaker after graduation.

A minute till class starts, the door to the classroom bursts open forcefully and you sprint through it breathless. You frown as you see that the only empty seat is next to...Jin. Of course it is. You sigh and take your seat before the professor shows up, quickly pulling out your supplies.

Jin leans in to whisper something to you, but before he can say a word, the classroom door bursts open again to a frazzled, gray haired witch who marches to the front of the room and immediately begins lecturing.

The two of you furiously scribble as she talks, looking over at each others’ notes occasionally if you aren’t able to catch something she said. Jin’s broad shoulders bump into yours several times throughout class, luckily not sending you to the floor this time.

Towards the end of class, the professor mentions that there will be a semester-long project over some form of advanced dark magic.

“Your table mates will be your project partners for the semester!” The professor chirps cheerily.

You smirk across the room at your other best friend, Sunny, who is sitting at the same table with none other than Park Jimin.

“Sunny and Jimin, your project will be over horcruxes,” your professor smiles at them before turning to you.

The smirk that had been on your face falls instantly as you realize who your project partner is.

“Seokjin and Y/N, your project will be over the Imperius Curse.”

Jin turns to you with a nervous smile. “Hey...partner.”

“...hey,” you return in a small voice.

“Do you want to maybe...work on our first essay at the library this weekend together? I’m sure you probably have a better handle on this than I do already, being a Ravenclaw and all.” Jin smiles at you more genuinely this time.

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” You question, eyebrow raised.

“Oh, um. Just that you’re smart and stuff. You knew about Venomous Tentacula poison without even double checking the textbook this morning. So I figured you’re probably really good at essays...I just have to work a little harder sometimes at school stuff, I promise I’m not dumb!” he rambles, pink dusting his cheeks. He’s cute when he’s flustered, you think.

“I know you’re not dumb, idiot,” you smirk up at him.

“...but you just called me an idiot?” he questions, eyebrows furrowed.

“I know you’re not dumb, Jin. You wouldn’t be able to be Head Boy if you were. Plus Joon doesn’t associate with idiots,” you smile warmly, a true grin gracing your face.

Jin chuckles in response, running his hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. “So meet me in the library this weekend?”

“...I bet you say that to all the girls,” you reply, grabbing your things and walking out of the classroom laughing.

Jin is left dumbstruck staring after you for the second time that day. As he turns back to his notebook, he sees your handwriting in the top corner of his notes. When you had time to write that without him seeing, he has no idea.

Meet me in the restricted section at 4pm on Saturday.

Jin smiles to himself as he finishes packing up his things and heads out. This was going to be a fun project.

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You busy yourself the rest of the week with your studies, hanging out with Joon, and making fun of Sunny, who is agonizing over being partners with Jimin-who you’re pretty sure she has a huge crush on.

Come Friday, you’re sitting in the Ravenclaw common room poring over your notes for Potions, when you hear a strange clicking sound. You look around the large armchair you’re in and don’t see anything. No one else is in the common room currently because it’s the middle of the afternoon-everyone else is either in the library or out enjoying the sunshine while it lasts. So where is the clicking noise coming from?

As you continue to look around, it becomes louder and more insistent. You can tell it’s coming from outside, so you look towards the window only to see a tiny pygmy owl frantically tapping its beak on the glass.

You immediately jump up from your chair and rush over to the window, opening it as quickly as you can. The little owl flutters in and lands on the arm of the chair you were in before, seeming to scowl at you indignantly for not letting it in sooner.

“I’m sorry, little one. I didn’t realize you were at the window, I thought someone had left Exploding Snap or something out, I would have let you in much sooner had I realized!” You reach forward to pet the owl’s head with your finger, it being much too small to touch with your entire hand. It trills softly at you as you pet it, and you think it may have forgiven you for leaving it outside so long.

“Who are you looking for, hmm? You’re incredibly adorable, you know?” The owl preens under your compliment and sticks out its leg to you, where you can see there is a small folded note with your name on it.

“For me?” You’re surprised-no one ever sends you things unless it’s for your birthday or a holiday. Christmas is more than a month away, and your birthday isn’t until spring term. You reach out and gently remove the note from the owl’s leg, and it promptly hops into your lap and bumps its head against your finger for more affection. You oblige as you unfold the paper, only to see two lines in a messy, loopy scrawl.

Chocolate or cinnamon?-KSJ

P.S. This is HooDini, he likes attention. Maybe too much, actually.

You can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners of your mouth as you look down at HooDini. He’s made himself at home in your lap, looking as if he’d like to fall asleep under your touch. You scoop him into your palms and place him back on the arm of the chair so you can pull out a quill to respond. He looks highly offended, and turns his head away.

“Sorry, HooDini, I didn’t want you to fall,” you laugh softly at the owl’s antics. He peeks his head back around at the mention of his name, settling for watching you write out an answer to Jin.

...cinnamon, for sure. Chocolate is overrated.

P.S. Your owl is cute and I think he might like attention as much as his owner does.

You aren’t sure why Jin is asking about chocolate or cinnamon, but you can’t be too mad. You needed a break from working on your Potions homework, and being able to pet an owl was the perfect remedy...plus, if Jin cared enough to write a whole note, you figured you would indulge him. You tie your response to HooDini’s leg and carry him over to the window.

“Don’t be a stranger, okay?” You give him one last pet, and he nips your finger affectionately before taking off. You head back over to your armchair and start flipping through your notes again.

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A few minutes later, HooDini comes flapping through the Gryffindor boys’ dormitory window, crashing onto Jin’s four poster bed with his leg stuck up in the air.

“Hoo, you alright, mate? That was quick!” Jin scoops his owl up into his hands, bringing him to eye level to make sure he’s okay.

HooDini hoots softly, insistently shoving his leg towards Jin. He takes the note off the owl’s leg and places him on the blanket at the end of the bed. HooDini immediately makes a burrow for himself and stares at Jin while he reads your response to your question.

He was hoping you’d say cinnamon instead of chocolate...now he knows just what to make you for your study date. Or, not date. Whatever it is. He shakes the thought away. Just because you were cute, did not make this any kind of anything. You barely knew each other anyway. He rummages around in his trunk until he finds what he’s looking for-his mum’s Muggle cookbook he brought from home, as well as a magical cookbook he’d picked up from Flourish and Blotts at the start of the year. He rolls up his sleeves and starts to flip through the pages, making notes from each.

He’s determined-he’s going to make you the best bake of his life.

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The next day, after lunch and working on Herbology homework out in the greenhouse with Joon, you head to the Ravenclaw common room to pack up for your trip to the library to meet up with Jin. You quickly shove as many books about dark magic as you can into your bag without splitting the seams, and sling it over your shoulder. As you do so, you notice dirt smudged on your sleeve. You attempt to rub it off, and it just smears more into the fabric. You shrug to yourself-you’ll use a spell to get it off later. Jin can deal with a little bit of dirt, it’s just a trip to the library. You head out of Ravenclaw Tower, hoping you won’t have to wait too long for Jin to arrive once you get to the library.

To your surprise, he’s already there once you make your way to the back of the library, and he’s set up a table for the two of you. From the looks of it, he’s been there a while...his hair is mussed from running his fingers through it and he lets out a deep sigh as you approach the table.

Hearing your footsteps, he glances up, startled.

“Oh...hey! Grab a seat,” he reaches to try and straighten up his belongings that are strewn about everywhere with one hand while simultaneously trying to pull out a chair for you with his other hand.

You grab the chair from him and slowly pull it out for yourself.

“I can do that myself, thanks…” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Of course! I mean, I know that. Sorry,” his ears go slightly pink at your statement as he meekly pulls his hand away from the chair.

You sit down and pull out all your books one by one, his eyes going wide as the stack keeps growing.

“How many do you have in there?...it is one of those bottomless bags? How does it work?” His eyes alight with curiosity.

You stifle a laugh (you are in a library, after all), and shake your head.

“It’s not a bottomless bag, you doofus. I just know how to pack efficiently is all...and I think I have 7 in here? Just things I had that I thought could maybe be useful for our project.”

Jin smiles at you softly as you finish your explanation.

“What?” You look over at him, not understanding what’s amusing about you packing books to use for your project. Doesn’t he want a good grade as well?

“Nothing, you’re just a nerd.” His soft smile doesn’t leave his face as he answers you, but he’s not able to keep eye contact for long.

“Oh, I’m the nerd? Don’t think I didn’t see what you just put away as you were trying to clear the table...Advanced Arithmancy, I think it was?” You smirk, knowing you’re right as his eyes grow wide.

“Well, how else am I supposed to become a Curse-Breaker after graduation? I have to take that class...doesn’t mean it’s not kicking my arse in the process though. It’s why I look like I’ve been electrocuted, it’s stressing me out so much I’m pulling my hair out!” He exclaims, pointing to the mess of hair sitting on top of his head.

“You’re lucky I know what electricity is, otherwise I would think you’re crazy right about now.” You smile as you reach forward across the table, smoothing down an errant strand of Jin’s hair that’s managed to find itself standing straight up in the air. He freezes when your hand makes contact with his head, eyes going even wider than before.

As you pull away, a faint pink dusts your cheeks. Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten in his personal space, seeing as you don’t know each other that well. Before you can dwell on it too much, you notice Jin smiling at you again.

“I forget that not everyone knows what electricity is...goes to show what a Muggleborn I am. You too?” He inquires, genuinely curious to hear your answer.

“Pureblood actually.” You can see his face fall slightly at that, and you rush to clarify. “I absolutely do not buy into the pureblood shit that a lot of the Slytherins like to brag about. I’m not better than you, or anyone else, just because my parents happened to be a witch and a wizard. It’s just dumb luck, that’s all.”

“Wait..so how in the world do you know about electricity then?” Jin cocks an eyebrow at you in confusion.

“I’m in Advanced Muggle Studies, that’s how. I think Muggles are fascinating,” you shrug, the answer seeming simple to you.

You notice a smirk slowly making its way onto Jin’s face, though he is clearly trying to fight it.

“Oh, what now?” You roll your eyes as Jin gives in to the smirk, his eyes twinkling in mirth to match.

“...you really are a nerd, aren’t you?” He chuckles and ducks out of the way as you swat at him with one of your books.

“Shhh!!” The librarian shushes you both as she walks by your table. You’re honestly surprised that it hasn’t happened before now with how loud the two of you have been.

You both duck your heads down, burying your faces in your books while stifling laughter. Once the librarian is out of sight, you raise your head to look at Jin over the spine of Secrets of the Darkest Art.

“So, our project. The Imperius Curse?” You question.

The two of you get to work, poring over endless amounts of books for hours on end, scribbling notes down about anything even tangentially related to the Imperius Curse. Jin comes up with the idea for your first essay to be over the creation of the Unforgivable Curses, and historically how the Imperius Curse has been most frequently used. You’re pleasantly surprised to see he’s prepared an outline of his ideas before showing up to meet you.

Your stomach growling breaks up your study session hours later. Jin glances up at the sound, then looks over at the clock on the wall.

“It’s nine already! I’m so sorry I kept you here this late, you could have left me to go down to the Great Hall for dinner...they’ll have cleaned up already,” he exclaims worriedly looking back at you.

“It’s fine, I’m not that-” Your stomach interrupts you with an even louder sound. You can’t help but laugh at your stomach’s protest.

“Lucky for you, I’m here,” Jin bends down to rummage through his belongings. You peer over, curious.

He pulls out a covered tray of some sort, putting it down on the table. You raise an eyebrow in question. Jin whips off the lid with a flourish, looking extremely proud of himself.

The library is immediately filled with the scent of buttery cinnamon goodness. Your mouth drops open in surprise, and Jin’s eyes sparkle when he sees your reaction.

“Cinnamon chip scones...for you. An apology for embarrassing you at breakfast earlier this week, since I never properly apologized. Thanks for answering my note-I would have hated to have made chocolate chip scones instead. A travesty, really.”

“Jin, you really didn’t have to-” You try to protest, but as you move your hand in front of you to shoo the idea of him feeding you away, he’s placing a scone and napkin in your hand instead. The warmth seeps into your hand through the napkin, a welcome difference from the damp chill in the library.

“How is this still warm? You’ve had them in here for hours…” You’re confused, this isn’t how baked goods work.

“A semi-permanent warming charm, I can teach you sometime. I’m surprised I found something you don’t know about...nerd.” He smirks at you again, enjoying that he’s found something he knows about that you don’t.

Instead of giving him the satisfaction of an answer, you take a bite of the scone instead. It may have been a better bet to try and give a sarcastic comment back to Jin. As soon as the scone hits your tongue, it starts to melt and you let out an involuntary sigh of delight.

“...good?” Jin looks nervous, glancing at you, trying to gauge your reaction.

“...delicious. I think it might be the best scone I’ve ever had?” You admit, as much as you don’t want to.

Jin’s cheeks warm at your praise, a large grin breaking out across his face. He reaches across the table to you suddenly, and before you have the chance to react, he’s brushing his thumb over the corner of your mouth.

“You had a crumb,” he laughs, then furrows his brow and moves his thumb across your cheek. “And...dirt?” He asks, dumbfounded.

You pull away, embarrassed yet again in Jin’s presence.

“It’s from working in the greenhouses earlier today with Joon,” you murmur as you bury your face in your hands, frantically wiping at any other dirt that may still be on your face. Why did you care so much anyway?

Jin laughs goodnaturedly. “Don’t worry about it, I just figured I’d help you out while I was already at it with the crumb...but you’ve been working on homework all day? You need to get out more,” he states matter of factly.

You glare at him across the table in response.

“I’ve got it! You should come to the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch game next week, it’s the first game of the season. Jeon and Park will be at each other's throats, so it should be entertaining for you at least.” Though he labels it as entertaining, his face scrunches in thought while he’s talking.

“And of course, you can come see yours truly, ‘Kill ‘Em Kim’, in action.” He winks at you. “I didn’t become Quidditch Captain for nothing, y’know.”

“I was considering saying yes, until you decided that winking and referring to yourself as ‘Kill ‘Em Kim’ was a good idea.” You roll your eyes as you gather up your belongings to head back to Ravenclaw Tower. Jin follows you as you exit the library.

“Don’t make me Imperio you to come to the game!” He calls down the hallway after you.

You turn on your heel to face him. “You couldn’t Imperio me if you tried, and even if you did, I’m strong enough to break it. Plus it’s an Unforgivable Curse, did you forget? You’d be arrested,” you huff as you turn away and march off to your common room.

“...nerd.” Jin chuckles under his breath as he turns to make his way to his own common room.

When you finally make it to your dormitory, you shrug your bag off your shoulder onto the bed and sink down beside it. You’re exhausted after working on schoolwork all day. You open the bag to unpack its contents-all seven of your textbooks, copious notes, and-what’s this? Even after taking out all your books, there’s still a weight to your bag. You reach inside and pull out Jin’s container of cinnamon chip scones. When had he managed to sneak this inside your things?

There’s also a note in his messy scrawl sitting on top.

One’s not enough if you didn’t eat dinner-consider it a midnight snack. Maybe I can show you that semi-permanent warming charm sometime, or even better, how to make cookies the Muggle way, since you’re so fascinated with us. ;) Hope to see you at the game (supporting Gryffindor, of course)! -Kill ‘Em Kim

You smile to yourself, before tucking the tin into your bedside table drawer...after all, you might want a midnight snack later.

---------------------------------------------

“Come on...please? Pretty please come to the game with me? Jin invited you anyway, you should come!” Sunny whines at you over breakfast the morning of the Gryffindor-Slytherin match. She’s made her way over from the Hufflepuff table just to plead with you with big doe eyes.

“Excuse me, you just want a reason to watch Jimin play since you’re not in either house. You’re using me as a cover because I was actually invited!” You accuse, pointing your fork at her across the table.

She laughs goodnaturedly. “Yeah, so what? I want to watch him play, but I also don’t want to go alone. Please-” Her pleas are cut off by a loud commotion across the room. You both look over to see Jin and Jeon Jungkook, Gryffindor’s Seeker, being clapped on the back by housemates as they laugh and head out of the Great Hall down to the Quidditch pitch to get changed for their game.

Sunny turns back towards you while you’re still staring after the two of them.

“Don’t think I don’t see you admiring his broad shoulders!” She accuses, making you tear your eyes away and look at her again.

“Huh?”

“My point exactly. You’re coming with me, and you’re gonna see Kill ‘Em Kim in action,” she demands.

“Fine,” you sigh as you get up from your table. “Why is his nickname Kill ‘Em Kim, anyway?” You roll your eyes as the name falls off your tongue.

“Have you never been to a game before when Gryffindor’s played?” You shake your head. “Oh, you’re in for a treat then.” Sunny smirks as the two of you walk out of the Great Hall.

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A few hours later, you and Sunny are weaving and dodging your way through throngs of people on the Gryffindor side of the pitch, trying to find the third member of your trio. You had promised Joon you would meet him at the game. You eventually collapse onto a bench once you find him, already sweating. Before you can get too comfortable, a booming voice echoes through the pitch, and the crowd immediately erupts into cheers and collectively stands on their feet. The match must be starting, you suppose.

The announcer welcomes the Slytherin team to the pitch first, giving them all individual introductions. The crowd surrounding you boos lightly throughout each name, until Park Jimin steps on the field. As he hops on his broom and alights from the ground, the boos around you grow in volume. Sunny, seemingly oblivious, claps excitedly and draws stares from several students around you.

“Sunny, people are staring. You can’t cheer for Slytherin in the Gryffindor section,” you hiss under your breath.

“Oh yeah…” She lowers her hands, but can’t seem to wipe the grin off her face as she watches Jimin fly around the pitch.

“And now for our Gryffindor team!” The announcer bellows loudly.

The boos turn into cheers, screams, and stomping around you. It feels like the stands may collapse under you if it keeps up like this.

The announcer introduces the Keeper, three Chasers, and a redheaded girl who’s one of the team’s Beaters.

“Jin’s next!” Sunny squeals in excitement, elbowing you harder than necessary, you think.

Sure enough, the next words out of the announcer’s mouth are-

“Give it up for Gryffindor’s other Beater, and Team Captain, KILL ‘EM KIM SEOKJIN!!”

The cheers around you are deafening...it’s very clear that Jin must be one of the team favorites. However, you are caught completely off guard by what happens next.

As Jin kicks off from the ground and starts to soar at eye-level with the crowd, he pulls his hand up to his mouth and begins to...blow kisses.

You are utterly confused, but before you have time to think, shrieks from female fans drown out any thoughts you may have had. It’s completely overwhelming, but as you look around, you can see the girls around you practically melting into puddles. It’s not just Gryffindors...it’s literally girls from each and every house.

“Kill ‘em with kindness, get it?” Sunny laughs from beside you. You look at her bewildered. Why had you even agreed to come to this stupid game?

As you look back towards the pitch, you find Jin looking your way and you lock eyes. He stops blowing kisses, but has the widest grin on his face because he’s noticed you.

The redheaded Beater comes up behind him and taps him lightly on the head with her bat, and makes an impatient motion with her other hand, clearly trying to communicate that he needs to get his head in the game. He nods at her, and goes to get in position for the start of the game, but not before turning back to you and sending you your own personal kiss and a wink. Now you’re the one that would like to melt into a puddle, and from the looks of some of the girls around you, they’d also like you to melt into a puddle-albeit for a completely different reason.

Sunny shrieks beside you as she grabs your arm. “He blew you a kiss! Kim Seokjin just made eye contact with you and blew you a kiss!”

“I thought you were here for Jimin, yeah?” You look over at her, still a little dazed, but recovered enough to whip out your signature sarcasm.

Before she can answer you, the announcer starts speaking again.

“And finally, Gryffindor’s Seeker, JEON “GOLDEN BOY” JUNGKOOK!!”

The cheers seem loudest for Jungkook, but you’re too busy following Jin’s movements across the field to care much.

The game is intense-Gryffindor’s Chasers are top notch, scoring goal after goal, but Slytherin’s Beaters are fast and furious, frequently sending Bludgers not only towards the Chasers, but also towards Jin and his counterpart, trying to take them out of commission. There’s even a moment where Jin gets sideswiped by a Bludger in his non-dominant arm while having to duck out of the way of the other Slytherin Beater swinging their bat towards his face.

Meanwhile, Jimin and Jungkook are circling the match from above, searching for any glimpse of the Golden Snitch. The game goes on for quite a while, each side occasionally scoring, but it seems the Snitch is nowhere to be found.

Suddenly, both Seekers nosedive towards the ground-you know they must have seen the Snitch, but you can’t seem to find it.

“There, there!” Sunny screams, pointing to the ground near the Slytherin goalposts, where sure enough, you can see a glint of gold in the waning sunlight.

Both Jungkook and Jimin chase relentlessly after the elusive ball, reaching beyond their brooms as much as they can. You can see Jungkook adjusting his position where it almost looks like he’s trying to stand on his broom to get more leverage.

The two Seekers zoom past your area of the stands, following where the Snitch goes. As they pass, there’s a loud crack as Jin winds up and uses the momentum and power of his broad shoulders to blast a Bludger Jimin’s way. The Slytherin ducks out of the way while still reaching his hand out to attempt what seems impossible in the moment-but you see it as well as everyone else does. His hand closes around the Snitch at the last second.

There’s a collective groan throughout the Gryffindor crowd, but then a mumble of confusion.

“It seems we’ve got an interesting result on our hands, folks...Park Jimin catches the Snitch for Slytherin and ends the game, but Gryffindor wins the match!!” The announcer seems as stunned as everyone in the crowd.

The stands around you erupt with noise.

“We won! He won!” You scream in disbelief at Sunny, more excited than you ever thought you’d be about a sporting event.

“Yeah he did!” Sunny shares your enthusiasm. “Should we meet the boys outside the pitch? Congratulate Jin?” She wiggles her eyebrows at you.

“Sure,” you roll your eyes in response. “And you can console Jimin,” you add with a laugh.

By the time you’re able to make it through the stands and to the outskirts of the pitch, the sun has started to set and the crowds have mostly dispersed. The two of you hang around outside where you know the locker rooms are for a little while-just as you’re about to give up and walk back to the castle, players start to file out of the pitch.

Jimin is one of the first to come out, looking rather disgruntled. Sunny looks at you questioningly, wordlessly asking you if you are okay with her leaving to go talk to him. You smile and nod, and she breaks out into a grin as she skips toward him. Though he looks upset, you can tell his mood lifts a little as she makes her way over to him.

“What’re you grinning about?” A deep voice in your ear startles you and you turn to see Jin smiling at you.

“Young love, I think,” you reply, gently motioning towards your friend as she walks away.

“Park and Sunny? Cute, he needs someone to lighten him up a little.” Jin clearly must have just stepped out of the shower, because he keeps having to push wet hair out of his eyes and he’s in a casual tee and pants instead of his Quidditch robes. As he sweeps his hair off his forehead, you notice a blue and purple mark starting to bloom on the outside of his left bicep.

Without thinking, you grab his arm as he brings it down beside him to take a closer look. “Is this where that Bludger sideswiped you?” You ask softly, running your fingers gently over the mark.

“What? Oh...yeah, guess so.” He looks unbothered by the injury.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” You look up at him, and he is taken aback by the concern in your eyes.

“I mean...a little, but it’s not a big deal. A risk of the game, y’know?”

“Yes, but the Slytherins were playing way too rough!” you exclaim. “They sent a Bludger your way while the other one tried to take your head off-that’s against the rules!” You’re getting more riled up the more you think about it-who did Slytherin think they were exactly?

Jin chuckles in response. “The Slytherins always play dirty, and the refs don’t always catch it. I knew what to expect. It’s cute that you’re so fired up about it though.” His signature smirk made its way onto his face yet again.

You roll your eyes at him, but keep your hand on his arm. “Let me take a closer look at this, please,” you plead while looking at him. “At the very least, it’s good practice for me.”

“...practice?” He cocks his head to the side, somehow managing to look like a confused dog.

“I want to be a Healer when I graduate,” you state matter-of-factly. You take his arm and gingerly move it in your hands to take a look from multiple angles.

“It got you pretty good, Jin. I think it might be a bone bruise, it’s hard to tell though with all the pooled blood under the surface.” Your diagnosis is quick-you’re just glad he doesn’t have any broken bones, to be honest. You whip out your wand from your bag and point it at his arm.

“Episkey.”

The blue and purple marks on his arm slowly vanish, as if being siphoned away. As his arm returns to its normal color, he stretches it out experimentally.

“How does it feel?” You ask, wanting to both make sure that he’s okay, and that your spellwork was up to snuff.

“Good as new. Thanks, Nerd.” He smiles down at you, genuine in his gratitude despite the nickname.

“No problem,” you smile back.

The two of you begin to walk back to the castle, sunlight almost completely gone from the horizon. There’s silence, but it’s comfortable. As you walk through the main doors, Jin turns to you.

“So what did you think of the game, hmm?” He has a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he asks the question.

“I thought it was fun, and I’m glad you guys won.”

“Now you know why they call me Kill ‘Em Kim,” he winks obnoxiously at you, and you roll your eyes.

“Yes, because apparently the entire female population of this school wants you to blow them a kiss. You’re in high demand.”

“And yet...you’re the one I blew a kiss to. You must feel special.” He raises an eyebrow at you, daring you to disagree.

“So special,” you laugh. He tries to keep a serious face, but ends up laughing as well.

You both reach a landing in the Grand Staircase where you need to separate to head to your common rooms.

“Well, this is me,” you gesture upwards at the many stairs you still need to climb.

“Yeah…” Jin rubs the back of his neck, looking like he doesn’t want to leave just yet. “Thanks for coming to the game, and thanks for healing my arm for me...you didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did! You were hurt, and like I said, practice for me,” you grin up at him.

Jin leans in to hug you goodbye, which is a welcome surprise. You find that he feels warm and comforting, and smells a little like cinnamon-even though he’s just showered. He leans down mid-hug and murmurs in your ear.

“I blew you a kiss because you are special, whether you feel like it or not.” As he pulls away from the hug, he lands a quick but chaste kiss to your cheek.

Before you can say a word, he’s disappeared around the corner with a small wave in your direction. This was not how you thought today would go.

Kill ‘Em Kim, indeed.

----------------------------

Part 2

Taglist: @alpacaparkaseok @hyungieyoongi @derinxfam

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나비 / NABI — TWO.

SYNOPSIS. in which you’re trying your damned best to willfully ignore your feelings for your friend of over twenty years, but— as always— life seems to have a different plan paved out for you.

PAIRING. choi beomgyu x female! reader. GENRE. childhood friends to not quite friends (derogatory) to not quite friends (endearment) to lovers, romance, humor, hurt/comfort but more on comfort, coming of age, slowburn, college! au, “it’s always been you” trope, pining, tons of denial, beomgyu is the only man ever, featuring a large ensemble of idols from various groups. WARNINGS. swearing, explicit language, rumors as a plot device, mentions of sex, a few minor injuries, hospital scare, bullying. WORD COUNT. 12k (out of 40k).

NOTE. kachow, it’s out. i’ll cut the yapping short this time HAHAHAH but please please please let me know your thoughts on this work especially if you enjoyed it!!! thank you!!!

모기 / MOGI — ONE — TWO — THREE

#2: YOU STILL DON’T LIKE HIM FOR FORCING YOU TO SWALLOW SO MUCH OF YOUR PRIDE. Upon returning to campus for the second semester, you’re smacked square in the face with a second wave of rumors. As if the ones that plagued you at the latter part of last semester weren’t enough to drive you insane.

The bigger problem with second waves is that the onslaught just becomes marginally worse. Apparently Choi Beomgyu was caught in the act hooking up with a girl at Jung Sungchan’s party. Apparently it was the same girl he was seen coming home with the previous semester. And apparently he got a black eye after hearing someone talk shit about said girl.

You’re speechless. It’s seriously beyond you how gossip snowballs into high hell like this. If the entire sphere of humanity directs their imaginations to more productive things, climate change might not be a problem anymore. Still, humanity is bound to be stupid, and expecting people to be reasonable will only lead to disappointment. You had to assure Sungchan three times that no— you did not fuck on his parents’ bed. What the hell does he think of you?

“I keep telling everyone you two weren’t having sex!” screams Minjeong in the middle of the hallway on the way to class. “I was literally right there!”

You catch some eyes pointed at your direction as you two pass through. “Yeah, maybe you should stop before people start construing it as a threesome.”

Usually, this would bother you. But after living your entire life being concerned about what other people think of you, it starts to get dull and tiresome. You’re pretty shocked to find yourself so unbothered, and you’re not getting a lot of attention anyway the moment you and Minjeong enter the lecture hall and find yourselves some seats.

That is, until Choi Beomgyu also walks into the hall, sees you, and immediately darts over.

You can literally feel the ten million eyes swooping back and forth between him and you. He stops right in front of your table, arms crossed, frowning. You look up and wish he gets on with it already. 

“You didn’t tell me you’re taking this class.”

“You didn’t either,” you snark back.

He huffs. “Touche.”

You sneer. “Get away from my view.”

“Hey, dude, wait up!”

Your attention gets ripped away from each other by the voice of Heeseung. He’s panting and jogging up to your area, Jeongin trailing behind him, then lands a hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder before he looks down and notices you.

“Oh, hey,” he greets. “No wonder he was in such a hurry.”

“Hi, Jeongin,” you greet Jeongin who still flinches whenever you look at him for a little too long. “Hello, bane of my existence.”

Heeseung lets your insult fly above his head. “Hey, friend. Heard you had fun at Sungchan’s party the other week.” Emphasis on the fun. With a wiggle of his brows. You want to bonk him with your water bottle, but your attempt at an assault gets refrained by a boisterous voice.

“Obviously, everyone had fun! It was a sick fucking party!”

You’re physically wobbled by Sungchan suddenly sliding into the seat next to yours. “It wasn’t fun when we had to help you clean up,” snides Minjeong. You notice Beomgyu eyeing your friend to your left as he reaches out an arm behind you, resting on the top of your chair.

“That’s what friends are for, right?” Sungchan pesters, then looks up, noticing the three other boys loitering in front of you. “Oh, hey, dudes,” he says. There’s a pause. Sungchan looks at Beomgyu, then you, then abruptly jerks his arm off the backrest of your seat. “Oh. Oh, shit! Sorry you can sit here—”

Sungchan flinches out of the chair next to you until Beomgyu stops him with a smile. “Why would you give me your seat?” Sungchan freezes. Then Beomgyu slides out the chair right in front of your table, a scratching noise on the tiles, and sets himself down. You hear Heeseung go ‘ooooh, drama,” before sitting next to Beomgyu, followed by Jeongin. Beomgyu tips his chair back, turns around, and then taps on the pencil case you’ve set out on your table. He bats his eyes. He gives you a cute (blegh) smile.

“Ugh.” You dig into the case and hand him an extra pen.

“Thank you,” he happily hums and turns back around.

“Whoa, did I just witness telepathy?” says Sungchan, mouth open.

“I guess when you’re in love you can just read each other’s mind—ack!” You hear a rattle. Beomgyu kicks the leg of Heeseung’s seat and the former falls dramatically to the ground. You snort. Heeseung attempts to retaliate but the arrival of your professor, Prof Ma, forces him to behave.

“Good morning, everyone.”

The minutes go by slowly. It’s syllabus week, so most of the period is spent by Professor Ma giving you an introduction to the course outline, grading system, requirements and projects, the works— of which includes two group assignments for both the mid and final term, eliciting a chorus of groans from the class. He decides to give the first project in advance for early preparation. At least he’s letting you pick your own members. Sort of. 

“Work with the people around you. No need to get up to form your groups.”

You look at Minjeong and Sungchan. Beomgyu, Heeseung, and Jeongin turn around, facing you three. You stifle a sigh. Choi Beomgyu plagues you wherever you go.

“I guess the six of us are working together!”

Sungchan’s way too enthusiastic about this. Heesung takes the project sheet from Prof Ma and returns to your circle, containing the instructions, guidelines, and topics for the project. It’s due two weeks before midterms and there will be a presentation the week after. Minjeong speaks up. “There’s three parts, so I guess we’ll work on each in pairs.”

“We’ll take the first part,” you say, almost automatically. Five pairs of eyes land on your. Four, actually, because Beomgyu is already scribbling your names next to each other on the guide sheet under the first roman numeral. 

Heeseung chortles out a giggle. “Jeongin, do you wanna work with me?”

“Wait, I—”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Minjeong laments, shaking her head with a hand on your back. You want to eat your words. It just came out naturally since for every group or paired project throughout highschool, you and Beomgyu have always worked together since it’s convenient. Your schedules are nearly identical, your houses are next to each other— it’s just logical. You’ve never thought about it at all until Lee Heeseung’s stupid, insinuating reaction. 

Class is dismissed. A few people approach Beomgyu, asking if he has a group, and he apologizes saying that he does.

You schedule a meeting sometime next week to plan the assignment before parting ways to your respective classes, schedules, and appointments. It’s the same routine for a while— save for some instances where you catch people you don’t even know looking at you for a little too long, glancing at you from afar in between inaudible conversations, and of course, the handful of moments where they’d come up to you just to ask if you’re dating Choi Beomgyu.

Surprisingly, you haven’t blown up. Beomgyu himself has started to eye you suspiciously due to your lack of reaction, save for the polite smile and ‘no, I’m not,’ combo you’d always give as a response. Maybe you’d just stopped caring. Beomgyu says he can’t wait until you inevitably explode. Heeseung hasn’t stopped finding enjoyment in teasing the living hell out of you though.

“Your boyfriend isn’t driving you home today?” asks Heeseung with a grin that you’re starting to get sick of seeing upon leaving your last class for the day, three weeks after the start of the semester. 

Usually, Beomgyu would be found outside your classroom around this time, lugging you off to his car for another free ride home whenever it works for him. Doesn’t help the rumors at all, you know. Heeseung making comments about it each time without fail is also greatly unhelpful.

“He’s having dinner with his seniors,” you tell him, already having given up.

“Poor you.”

“I can get home by myself,” you spit, using the notebook and stack of printouts you’re carrying to smack him on the ass. He runs off to the coding club after very politely messing up your hair. “Go to hell!”

“See you tomorrow!”

He’s gone, finally. You release a sigh and realign the stack of notes in your hands, about to bring it up to your chest until someone darts by— passing beside you with a bump on your shoulder, and the papers, notebook, and copies stumble out of your arms and onto the floor. “Hey!” you snap your head back, catching only the silhouette of the individual from behind and as you kneel down to pat around for your things. It’s annoying, but you let it go. You let it go with a fruitful amount of profanities sputtering from your mouth while you restack the papers.

One piece of paper managed to fly away a bit farther away. You grunt and pull yourself off the floor. Your eyes don’t leave the sheet. You watch as it gets picked up from the ground and gets handed over to you, eyes trailing further up to meet the face of a guy you don’t really recognize.

“Oh,” you release. “Thanks a lot.”

“No problem. Some people really need to watch where they’re going.” He smiles. You nod and ready to walk past, but much to your surprise, you hear him utter your name. “That’s you, right?”

Huh. You try to get a better look of the guy’s face, trying to grasp a hint of recollection of who he could be, and if you actually know him, but nothing rings a bell. Zilch. “Yeah? How’d you know me?”

“I, uh—” The hand he once used to pick up your things disappears to the back of his neck in a sheepish manner. “I saw you at Sungchan’s party the other week. For, like, five seconds because I never got to see you again, so I asked around about you.”

You’re taken aback. Whoa. This is new. This is very new. When was the last time a guy has shown interest in you? You can’t fucking recall because that’s never ever happened before— not when there’s the false fact that you’re dating Choi Beomgyu perpetually fluttering around you despite your countless attempts to swat it away. You feel your heart jog a little quicker, the buzzing on your fingertips making your senses feel a lot duller. It’s either he doesn’t believe in the rumors, or he just doesn’t give a fuck about them.

Well. It doesn’t even matter because those rumors aren’t true.

“Ah, well I’m not really surprised. I was holed up in a room the entire time. Parties aren’t my thing,” you hum. “What’s your name again?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” he laughed. “Jang Seung. First name Seung, last name Jang.”

“Oh! I don’t think I’ve met someone with a one-syllable name before.”

He smiles. “Well, I’m honored to be the first.”

It doesn’t ring a bell, really. That means Jang Seung’s name hasn’t fallen out of Choi Beomgyu’s big mouth before whenever he endlessly yaps about people you barely even know. You thank Seung one more time before heading off to class. It’s not the last time you meet him. You bump into him at the cafeteria a few days later, then the library the week after that. Somehow, you ended up exchanging numbers along the way. He’s an economics major, second-year, but you’re the same age so honorifics were dropped pretty quickly. And before you knew it— you and Seung have started texting casually on the daily.

“Hey!”

Your eyes snap up from your phone. You see Beomgyu snapping his fingers right in front of your face.

“Focus,” he glares, an impatient tap on the pile of textbooks you borrowed from the reference section for your group project. It’s been three weeks since the assignment was given out. You and Beomgyu have decided to do your initial research at Horangnabi today. “If you get distracted again, I’m confiscating your phone.”

“Sorry.” You tamp your phone face-down onto the table.

There’s a sneer on Beomgyu’s face. You raise a brow, pulling your laptop closer to you. He scoffs and starts flipping through the pages of one of the books, and at that moment Julie walks up to your table with a tray in her hands. “A treat for two hard working kids,” she hums, setting two drinks down onto the table— a matcha latte for you and an iced americano for him.

You smile at her. “Thanks, seon—”

“Hard working my ass.” Beomgyu snatches your drink before you can even lift it up, sliding it down to his side of the table with a very disappointed look on his face. “Noona, she’s been glued to her phone the entire time instead of working. I don’t think she deserves a free drink.”

“Leave me alone,” you simmer back. “This is my first shot at romance ever since you’ve started unintentionally sabotaging my love life for the past twenty years.”

“Twenty years? Are you saying you’ve been boy crazy since we were toddlers?”

“Don’t twist my words, fuckface.”

“Nyenye, don’t twist my word—”

Clap!

“Okay,” Julie interrupts, a resounding sound coming from her colliding palms. You and Beomgyu shut your mouths and cock your heads at her. “Settle that problem between yourselves, alrighty? Beomgyu, give her her drink back. Ring me up if you want any snacks.”

“Tch,” he clicks his tongue, sliding your latte back to you. “What was that guy’s name again?”

You catch the plastic cup with your hands and bring the straw to your lips. “Jang Seung.”

A sound scratches out of his throat. Beomgyu takes a sip from his coffee while looking to the side. “I don’t know him.”

“I thought so,” you hum in response. “Pretty surprising considering your web of connections. He doesn’t seem to believe in all the gossip surrounding us, either.”

He shakes the drink in his hand, ice clicking against themselves with a sour look on his face. Is he actually drinking lemonade or some shit? you stifle a light laugh. “Either he doesn’t believe it, or he just doesn’t mind fucking around with a girl who’s in a relationship.”

“But we’re not,” you say.

“Yeah. Duh. But everyone else thinks we are,” he answers. “You don’t even know him that well. Who’s to say he doesn’t believe them just because he’s trying to get close to you.”

Julie comes by again with a plate of salted fries. You two thank her. The perks of being friends with the staff here. “Stop overreacting,” you tell him, helping yourself to a few bites. “I haven’t completely gotten over my trauma with Lim Jimin yet so I’m not raising my hopes too high up. Watch Seung ask me for tips on how to become friends with you in three days time.”

“Just shut up and start working,” he grunts, shoving even more fries into your mouth to stop you from talking any further. You muffle out a swear. Seriously, why can’t this guy be normal?

Anyhow, you finish your session at the cafe, still pretty confident about your conjecture on Jang Seung’s real intentions with you.

But after three weeks instead of three days, you’re delightfully proven wrong.

“Holy shit.”

You, Beomgyu, Heeseung, and Minjeong are in the living room of your apartment. The four of you had been working on your project until thirty minutes ago. You’ve been working since one in the afternoon. It’s almost eight in the evening right now and Jeongin and Sungchan had already left early. Now you’re all just withering on the floor. Minjeong’s laying down on your lap, phone hovering above her face. Heeseung and Beomgyu had picked up a guitar from his apartment to fill the tired silence.

That is until they heard your very eloquent remark. Beomgyu stops strumming. “What?” he asks.

“Holy shit,” you repeat, gaping at your phone. “Seung just asked me out on a date.”

Minjeong jerks off of your lap with a shriek. “What?!”

“Look!”

You shove your phone into her face. The bluelight blinds her eyes but they remain wide and frantically open. Heeseung’s eyes flit over from you, to Beomgyu, then back to you. “Wow, I’d never ask someone out over the phone. Right, Beom?” He gets ignored because Minjeong lets out another squeal and tosses your phone aside.

“Tomorrow! You’re going on a date tomorrow!” she jumps at you. “Do you need help getting ready?”

“Hey,” Beomgyu sets his guitar down on the floor, looking at you. “Did you two forget? We still have to finalize our presentation tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know,” you say, retrieving your phone from the ground. “I’m gonna schedule the date after that.” 

Minjeong tells him to unknot his undies and let you live a little, messing with the documents scattered all around you, and you join her after shooting Seung a reply, [sounds good. see you tomorrow 🙂]. Heeseung has taken ownership of the guitar and is now strumming some melodies. Beomgyu is still grumpy. His grumpiness culminates into the question— “How much do you actually like the guy?”

This catches Heeseung and Minjeong’s attention. Their ears perk up, waiting for your response. “Well.” You take your nose out of a reference sheet. “He’s fun to talk to. And he doesn’t look half bad. Other than that, I don’t think I have any strong feelings for him, you know. But that could change. I don’t know.”

Minjeong hums in response. “Yeah, don’t overthink it. Just go have fun, girl. It’s not a big deal,” she says, the last part particularly directed to Beomgyu, who just sticks his tongue out at her.

“That’s the plan,” you say, leaning back against the couch seat. “I’ve never gone on a date before because everyone thinks I’m already dating you.” That was also directed to Beomgyu. He makes a complaint that he’s being ganged up on. A few more back and forths go down with Heeseung plucking arpeggios as background music. It’s a mess.

“Turn on your location, alright?”

“Yes.”

“And don’t go with him if he wants to take you to his place or anywhere that isn’t public.”

“Yes, I know.”

“And make sure to call whenever—”

“Dude, you’re not her mom,” Minjeong cuts him off. You snort. “She can take care of herself.”

“She’s never been on a date before! Can’t I be worried?!” Beomgyu interjects, offended. “What if she dies? What if she trips on the stairs on the way and dies before she can even experience her first date?”

“Fuck you, as if you’ve been on a date before,” you retort.

Beomgyu lets out a huff, mouth twitching from incredulity. “For your information, I have,” he says proudly. “Keep up, dipshit."

“You? As if.”

“I can attest to that,” Heeseung jumps in. “But it was way before I found out you two were friends though. We went on a double date with some girls from tourism. The girl swore he was her soulmate after a cup of coffee and Beomgyu ghosted her.”

This is the first time you’re hearing about this. You’re feeling betrayed and Beomgyu’s arrogance suddenly shifts to guilt. “Don’t give me that look. We weren’t on speaking terms then. Don’t you dare get upset over this.”

“Soulmate, huh?” Minjeong muses. “Do you guys believe in soulmates?”

There’s a pause. “That came from fucking nowhere,” Beomgyu says. 

“If they exist, then I hope mine hurries the hell up,” says Heeseung. Right. He got dumped by the girl from computer science a while ago. He says he’s already healed but just yesterday he borrowed your phone just to see her Instagram stories that are now hidden from him. You pity him. “Fuck, I need to start dating again.”

“No, you don’t. You need to fucking get over her,” you tell him before shifting your attention to Minjeong. “I’ve never really thought about the idea of soulmates. I don’t know, it just seems like a far-fetched idea to me.”

“Boring,” provokes Beomgyu from across the coffee table. “You really don’t think there’s someone out there destined for you? Someone who understands you without even trying, someone who connects with you so deeply and in one click, you just know it’s going to be them for eternity?”

There’s a palpable silence. Beomgyu notices this. He clears his throat and picks up the printout in front of him, fumbling through the pages with a click of his tongue.

“No wonder you’re still single. There’s not one romance bone in your body.”

Minjeong stares at him. “That was...out of character.”

“This guy’s actually a hopeless romantic,” Heeseung slides in. “You should hear all the songs he plays and sings in the clubroom. Dude thinks he’s in a coming of age—”

“Hey, why don’t you shut the fuck up?”

A fight(?) on the couch ensues. It’s Beomgyu and Heeseung wrestling like toddlers while you and Minjeong start working on your project again. Waiting for your laptop to start up, your eyes catch a buzzing phone on the table, sitting right next to a coffee mug. It’s not your phone. The caller ID says Ugly Oaf. “Beomgyu,” you call out. “Your brother is calling.”

You hear a yelp from a couch. “Can you answer?” Beomgyu says, grunting. “I’m kind of— ow! I’m kind of busy here.”

Children. They’re both children. You tap on the phone and put the device to your ears. “Hyung,” you greet. Yes, you call his brother hyung. You’ve known their family since you were a child and since you kept hearing Choi Beomgyu call his brother hyung as a toddler, you thought that was the appropriate term to call him too. He doesn’t mind. Anything else sounds awkward too so you’ve just kept calling him that until now. “Oh, yes he’s here. Give me a sec. Choi Beomgyu!”

Your eyes flit up to the couch. Your friend is being suffocated by Heeseung while he yells out surrenders.

“Beomgyu, he wants you on the phone.”

“Ugh. Hey, get the fuck off me.”

“Another win for the Heemeister!”

Beomgyu rolls his eyes at him as he trudges off the couch, walking over to you with an outstretched hand, and you pass the phone to him. “Hyung,” he starts, his free hand on his hip. You stifle a snort and busy yourself with a word document, half-listening to their conversation. “What do you want? Why couldn’t you just text—”

He cuts himself off and you stop typing. You look up to see Beomgyu standing near you, eyes wide and staring into space. 

His other hand falls to his side. 

“What?”

There’s a crack and a strain in his voice.

“H—hyung, what are you saying?”

You shut your laptop and race to your feet. “Beomgyu” you say, marching up to him. “Beomgyu, what did your brother tell you?” You notice his hands are shaking— trembling fingers drop his phone face-up on the ground and you see that the call has ended. Your gaze travels back to Beomgyu. His eyes are damp. You pull him closer by the arm and fix your hands on the sides of his shoulders. “Beomgyu, what’s wrong?”

“M—my mom,” he stammers out. “He—he says she’s in the hospital, why would she be in the hospital, why—”

From the corner of your eyes, you can see Heeseung jolting straight up and Minjeong looking up at the both of you. You bite down your lip. You can hear your heart inside your ears. “Beomgyu,” you say, trying to quell the tremor in your voice. His breathing is already short, his eyes are blinking down rapidly to chase away the stinging tears. You can’t start panicking too. “Did hyung say anything else? What happened? Can you tell me?”

“I—I don’t know, I’m not— I’m not sure, I—”

Oh no. Oh no, this isn’t good. You leave for a moment, rushing to your room to grab two jackets— one you drape over Beomgyu, the other you wear for yourself to stuff your wallet and  keys into. “Hey, guys,” you say, securing the coat around his neck. “Sorry, I think we need to cut this session short. Do you mind cleaning up here?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. We’ll take care of it,” answers Heeseung.

“Give us an update, okay?” adds Minjeong. You give them a nod and a smile.

You grab onto Beomgyu’s sleeve and start dragging him out of your building, the cold, late evening air hitting your cheeks as you rush out into the sidewalk, just in time for a taxi to show up from the far end of the road, and you hold your arm out to hail it. You knock on the window and the driver rolls it down. “Sir, do you think you can take us to Daegu?”

“Daegu? This late?” he says. You press your lips together. You turn your head and see Beomgyu’s expression. You let go of your drip from his sleeve, dropping it down to give his hand a squeeze.

“It’s an emergency.”

“All right. It’s not gonna be cheap, though.”

“That’s alright. Thank you!”

The entire ride to Daegu, Beomgyu is squeezing your hand. He hasn’t said a word. Red lights from the streets burn into the side of his face. Then white. Then it’s dark again. “It’s gonna be fine,” you tell him. He just holds you even tighter. You feel like shit. You can’t even call his brother or his parents or yours because your phones were left behind at your place, and it’s too late to go back for them now.

You arrive at Daegu by eleven o’clock. The moment the cab pulls up at the district hospital, Beomgyu rushes out and runs inside. You pay the fare, thank the driver before catching up to him. The scent of citrus and bleach hits your senses. He’s stuck at the front desk, asking for his mother’s room. “Fourth floor. Ward 23,” says the receptionist. Beomgyu wastes no time in sprinting into a still-open elevator before it could close, tugging you along with him.

He’s antsy all throughout the ride. The moment you land on the fourth floor, he rushes out immediately upon the opening of the doors. You apologize to people he shoved past through, squeezing your way out to see Beomgyu’s back racing down the hallway, single mindedly running to the end of it where you see his dad pushing his mother on a wheelchair, about to enter one of the wards.

“Mom!” Beomgyu yells out. You break into a light jog and head into the same direction.

It’s been a while since you’ve last seen his parents. A million thoughts bombard your head. You yourself are pretty shocked to see his mother in a wheelchair— you can’t imagine what’s going on inside his head as you witness his eyes shake, lips quiver when his steps slow down, walking up to them.

“Oh, dear,” his mom says with an exhale, sounding stressed for some reason. His dad turns the wheelchair to face the hallway instead of the door. “Why are you here?!”

Beomgyu knits his brows. “Hyung told me you were hospitalized! Why wouldn’t I be here?!”

His mom lets out a sigh. She massages her temples. “This is why I told him not to tell you.”

“Mom is fine, son,” his dead assures. “She just fell a little.”

This isn’t received well by Beomgyu. “She’s in a wheelchair!” he exclaims.

And right then, his mom stands up. She gets off the wheelchair, a tired look on her face. Oh. Oh, wow. Beomgyu was about to add something, but his mouth is now left hanging open. There’s a moment of silence, until his mom decides to break it. “I just wanted to try it out,” she says. “Honey, I’m fine.”

The tension quickly fizzles out. Beomgyu is still aghast and confused and conflicted. His dad ushers you all into the ward, in which Beomgyu forces his mother to rest in the bed instead of going out and about before things finally get explained. His mom was prepping for dinner, and she fell from a chair while reaching for something far up in the cabinet. They just went to the hospital to get a check-up just in case. Luckily, nothing is broken, but the doctor recommended for her to be admitted overnight for further observation. 

His dad called his brother to explain why Choi Beomgyu was freaking out so much too. Apparently hyung said the same things but just made the unfortunate choice by prefacing it with, “mom is in the hospital,” causing Beomgyu’s ears to go out of order upon hearing that. 

Beomgyu is still frowning. He’s sitting petulantly beside the hospital bed. “Oh, my sweet baby bear,” his mom says. “I thought you were all grown up. Turns out you’re still a child.”

“I was scared! Hyung should’ve explained better!”

“You didn’t give him the chance,” she sighs. Then, her eyes flit up, seeing you.”Hi, sweetheart. How have you been? I’m sorry for the late greeting. This kid is such a handful.”

You smile at her. “It’s good to see you’re all right, auntie.”

“Do your parents know that you’re here?” she asks. You tell her no, because you left your phones back home in the rush to get here, and she gives Beomgyu a side eye because of that. He simply grumbles and continues twiddling with the blanket. “Use my phone. It’s on the side table. You should give them a call now.”

Beomgyu passes the phone to you. It unlocks without a passcode. “Thanks, auntie.”

She smiles. “Oh, and can you ask your parents if Beomgyu can stay at your place for the night?”

“What?” he starts. “What do you mean? I’m staying here.”

“Your dad’s already staying with me. I’m afraid I’d suffocate with the both of you hovering around me.”

“Why are you trying to kick me out?”

You give them some privacy to talk (read: bicker). It’s already late in the night, so the hallway is quiet but brightly illuminated. The phone rings in your ears as you out into the dark, blanketed sky through the window. There’s a click and you hear your dad at the end of the line. 

The conversation lasts for a while, and you find that you’ve somehow found yourself in the open courtyard behind the hospital building after you’ve finished explaining everything to your dad and catching up for a bit. He’s gonna pick you two up in a few minutes. You let yourself simmer in the cold air for a few more moments before getting back inside.

Minjeong asked you to update them earlier, but you can’t because you don’t have your phone. They’ve probably found out that you left it behind already, but that’s not the problem. Seung must’ve texted you about the date plans already and you’re unintentionally ignoring him right now. But, oh well. You’ll reply tomorrow when you get back to Seoul.

“Auntie, thanks for lending me your phone. Dad said yes. He’s gonna arrive in a—”

You pause. Upon returning to his mom’s corner in the ward, you see Beomgyu fast asleep on the same spot he was in earlier. His head is resting on the bed, eyes fluttered shut while holding his mom’s hand. The lights have dimmed. You see auntie smiling at him. “He’s really still a child.”

“The shock really hit him,” you say, quietly setting the phone back on the table. “He was crying a lot on the way here.”

She hums, then looks up at you. “Can you help me pry him off?”

You laugh. Waking up Beomgyu is always a task. You get near and start shaking him. “Hey. Hey, dip— I mean, Beomgyu. Wake up.” You hear him let out a groan and he nuzzles himself further into the blanket. You get an idea. “Choi Beomgyu, do you remember the time you started a pretty fun lightshow in your kitch—”

“I’m up, I’m up,” he groans, still groggy. He does sit up, but he’s very much still trying to start up his brain. His joints are creaking. He holds onto your arm to help him stand up, brows knitted together as he rubs his eyes. 

“We’ll get going now, auntie. Get well soon.”

She smiles at you. “Thank you for alway taking care of him.”

You feel a swell of warmth in your chest. You nod, mirroring her smile before hauling a sleepy Beomgyu out the ward. The moment you’re out into the hallway, the urge to smack his face awake nearly overtakes you, but you decide against it. Instead, you wring your arms together, lugging him into the elevator so he doesn’t trip over his own feet. 

During the elevator ride, you feel him pile all of his weight onto you, his cheek resting on the side-top of your head. From the reflection, you can see that his eyes are barely open, slowly closing and barely opening again. You breathe out a laugh. The elevator opens. You walk out into the lobby and out the hospital, where you see your dad waiting by the driveway.

It’s a quick drive home. It would be nice to stop by the playground, but the guy you’re with in the backseat right now is pretty much out of commission. Poor boy must’ve been exhausted from the scare.

Beomgyu finally wakes up a bit more upon reaching the building. He mumbles a thank you to your dad, and your dad simply smiles and gives him a pat on the back while ushering him up the stairs. There’s already an extra change of sleeping clothes on the living room table. Your dad tells you to take care of him before disappearing off into his room. 

“Go take a shower, stinky,” you tell him. He grunts and snatches the clothes from you anyway. While he’s in the bathroom, you set up the sofa bed in the living room for him to sleep on, pushing the coffee table away, grabbing some extra pillows and blankets from your room, knees sinking into the mattress as you pat down the sheets. You hear the bathroom door creak open. “Hey, I couldn’t find any other extra blankets except for these Ninja Turtle ones, so I hope you don’t mind—”

The words fizzle out from your throat upon seeing Beomgyu walk into the living area. His hair is still damp, clothes a little too big for him, and his eyes are evidently puffy. You shake your head, a light laugh escaping your lips. What a crybaby, but then again, if you heard the same news— the news that your mother got hospitalized out of the blue, with no discernable explanation, you’re not confident enough to say that you won’t react the same way as he did.

You’d also probably start bawling. And you’re pretty sure Beomgyu would do the same things you’d done tonight too.

He’s still standing there, right in the middle of the open mouth of the short hallway that he’d just emerged from. You let the blanket fall to the floor to stretch out your arms. “Come here,” you say. Footsteps pad down the wooden floor. Beomgyu sinks himself into you, cold skin fresh from the shower melting into the warmth of yours as you fall back into the mattress with a thud. 

You two stay like this for a while, the sound of quiet nights lingering in the air. “Your mom will be fine,” you tell him, drawing circles on his back.

“Mhm,” he mumbles into your hair.

“You’re such a crybaby.” He responds with an annoyed grunt, but his hold on your remains firm. “This is the second time I’ve seen you cry.”

“Shut up,” he rasps, finally pulling away just enough for you to see his face, settling into the spot next to you instead. You roll over to look at him. His left arm is wedged in between your elbow and torso, the other gently holding onto your forearm as his damp hair hovers over his eyes. You have your hands pressed to your chest, feeling each thump on your knuckles for each second your eyes linger on his face. Two thumps. Three. Since when did you get this close? 

Your throat is dry, but you can’t swallow. Your eyes flit down. “Hey,” he says. You can feel his breath on your lips. “Thanks.”

The world stops for a moment.

You offer him a smile before pulling yourself up. The air returns to your lungs. You toss a pillow at him before getting back on your feet. “Get some sleep, crybaby. We gotta be up early for class tomorrow.”

That’s when you finally retreat to your old bedroom to get a maximum of four hours of sleep. You’re pretty sure you weren’t even able to get a single hour in because the next thing you know, the sunrise is already leaking into your bedroom, prompting you to get up and retrieve from the drying your clothes from last night. You make a quick egg and bacon breakfast before heading out, leaving some for your parents, and you two stop by the hospital once more before finally leaving for Seoul at seven-thirty.

“Doesn’t this remind you of high school?” Beomgyu muses while you two hang on to your dear lives standing in the bus commute to the station. 

“Yeah. I don’t ever wanna go back.”

He laughs at that. You smile. He’s finally feeling like himself again. The trip back to Seoul takes ages and you two have no time to go back to your apartment, so you decide to head straight to campus instead to make it to your first class.

That was a mistake though. The moment you and he walk into the lecture hall— together— Jung Sungchan makes the astute observation that you two are wearing the same clothes from yesterday. Heeseung knows what happened. He was fucking there, but starts teasing you about it anyway. It’s like he thrives off of your despair. 

You tell them to shut the fuck up and take your seat, borrowing a pen from Minjeong who asks you about what happened. In your defense, Beomgyu obviously didn’t bring his key to their Daegu house, and you brought all of your nicer clothes here in Seoul. So unless you wanted to wear your atrocious high school fashion sense to uni, you had no choice but to rewear your outfit from yesterday. And, by the way, you washed them! They were in the dryer overnight!

That doesn’t matter to the people around you though. Because it’s almost standard protocol that whatever’s going on with Choi Beomgyu spreads like wildfire within campus grounds. Funny enough, this isn’t the first groundless gossip that you and him are fucking. But you’re less angry this time and just more of just being simply tired of this kind of shit.

You don’t know how well Beomgyu is taking it though. Normally, you can read his face like an open book, but this time you’re not quite sure.

At the end of your class, you quickly rushed off to your apartment while Beomgyu left to attend another class. “Can you bring me my phone when you get back?” he asked you before leaving. 

“Sure. We still have to finalize our presentation this afternoon, right?”

“Yeah. See you later.”

The moment you arrive at your apartment, you immediately check your messages. The last text Seung sent you was at 11:37 p.m. [anyway, just tell me if you change your mind haha. no worries]. Ah, shit. You quickly type down an explanation for what happened last night, and that no, you’re not trying to call the date off while you wiggle into a new set of clothes. You leave again quickly after snatching Beomgyu’s phone from the counter. When you get back to campus again, the tick mark next to your text tells you that Seung has read your message. But he hasn’t replied.

Minjeong tells you that maybe he’s just busy. The afternoon rolls around and you’re walking with her and Sungchan to Horangnabi, and Seung still hasn’t replied, but you set that problem aside for now. Beomgyu, Heeseung, and Jeongin are already there by the time you three arrive. You toss Beomgyu his phone and take one of the available seats across from him.

“Prof Ma says only two people need to present,” you say. “Heeseung, can you do it?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Choi Beomgyu, you present too,” says Minjeong. “Use your people pleasing powers for something productive this time.”

He whines, but agrees anyway. While working on the PPT, you notice that he keeps glancing at you. You raise a brow. He says nothing and busies himself with something else, until 5:00 p.m. rolls around— an hour before your supposed date with Seung.

You haven’t told Beomgyu about probably getting ghosted yet because you don’t want him to fucking gloat and snark saying, ha! I told you he was bad news! Instead, you part ways from the group, make a stop back home to get dressed into prettier clothes and retouch your makeup, and shoot one last text to Seung before heading to the restaurant you two had agreed to have dinner at.

“Welcome!”

The sound of a mental clock is ticking inside your head. It’s thirty minutes past six. You’ve already ordered and eaten a meal, and Jang Seung is still nowhere in sight.

This whole situation feels like a shitty sense of deja vu. Your thoughts are verbalized when you see someone walk up to your table just when you’re about to leave. Of course. Who else would show up at your lowest if not Choi Beomgyu? “Wow,” he remarks, taking the liberty to drag the chair in front of you back, and he plops right down. “Deja vu much. Why do you always go on dates with shitty men? Are you cursed or something?”

“Shut up. Maybe you’re the harbinger of my bad luck actually,” you say. “I think he caught whiff of the rumors that we slept together last night. Gosh. Don’t people have anything better to talk about?”

There’s a look on his face. You can’t quite pinpoint what it means. Beomgyu lets out a scoff, tipping back and forth the empty glass on your table with a sneer. “If he was a decent enough person, he wouldn’t flake out on you just because of that,” he says, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “He’d ask you outright if the rumors were true instead of ghosting you like a douchebag.”

You laugh. “That’s true.”

He points his gaze at you. “You’re not sad?”

“No. I’m just a little miffed,” you say. Really. Surprisingly, you don’t feel like shit at all. “Have you eaten yet?”

“Mhm. I was having dinner with some friends, but I got a text from Sungchan that you got stood up again.”

Again. Ouch. No fucking wonder Sungchan messaged you earlier asking where you were. “I cleared up my schedule tonight,” you tell him, getting ready to get up. “Let’s hit the arcade. I need to release some stress.” Your anger gets received by the innocent moles on the whack machine. At least you got something in return— two cheap and shitty keychains, wherein one you end up hooking on the zipper of your bag later that night, the other one you give to Beomgyu as a thank you for yet again, swooping in to save the time you would’ve wasted, had you waited any longer for another failed date.

The only good thing that happens that week is that your group project went really well. Honestly, you had zero hopes from the beginning considering Choi Beomgyu, Lee Heeseung, and Jung Sungchan are notorious for not taking things seriously, but somehow, they’ve managed to prove you wrong. Prof Ma gave you a handful of compliments for the analysis. That’s another dose of helium to inflate Beomgyu’s and Heeseung’s already overly inflated heads.

“Great job,” Minjeong compliments them. Then they turn to you, expecting the same.

You sigh, rolling your eyes, but there’s a smile on your face. “I guess you two were better than I expected.”

Leaving the classroom, you have to split from your group because of a paper you need to submit to the faculty office. Minjeong hugs you goodbye and Beomgyu says he’ll be waiting for you at the parking lot. You hum and turn to the opposite end of the hallway. And that’s when you suddenly hear your name get called out the moment you pass by a group of three girls. 

“Hey, you,” one of them hollers again. You spin your heels, a little confused, then point a finger to your chest. “Yeah. Come here for a sec.”

Yet again you’re hit with a distasteful sense of deja vu. Cautiously, you walk towards the group. Vaguely familiar faces. You think you’ve seen one of them before, but you’re not quite sure. They say nothing once you stop a few steps closer. The one in the middle looks you up and down. And then a laugh brushes past her lips, twitching into a bitter smile.

What the actual fuck. “I don’t get what he sees in you,” is all she says before walking away. Again, what the actual fuck.

The interaction lingers in the back of your mind until Choi Beomgyu texts you at two in the morning to join him at the nearby 90s themed diner just a few walks away from your apartment. You two share a rootbeer float with burgers and fries as a mini celebration for your successful presentation, he says. You squint at his face as he takes a bite from his burger. He mimics your squint, albeit his looks more confused and suspicious than investigative. “What?” he asks.

“We really need to do something about these rumors,” you start. Beomgyu simply lets out a sigh and sets his burger down while you tell him what happened earlier, and while you’re chattering on about your story, Beomgyu takes a single fry, dips it in the ice cream of your float, and reaches his arm out across the table to feed it to you. “Wasn’t she one of your friends? The one who—” you stop your rambling, looking down at the food offering in front of you.

Your gaze flits up. Gosh. This is why people think you’re dating.

Still, you open your mouth and let him feed you anyway. Beomgyu hums out a smile, satisfied and grabs a fry for himself. “So what do you wanna do?” he asks. “Are you gonna put some distance between us again? Ask me to act like I don’t know you.”

You kick him from underneath the table. He lets out a pained yelp.

“I know what I need to do,” you say, determined. 

Beomgyu lifts his chin up in anticipation. There’s a hint of mockery in his tone. “What do you need to do?”

“I need to get a boyfriend.”

Then he starts choking. You toss him a napkin and he calls for a server for a glass of water. You wait until he finally recovers before you continue your piece. Beomgyu glugs down the entire glass and slams it down the table. “What kind of mental gymnastics are you pulling?” he asks. “I think you need to get your head checked.”

You ignore his insult. Instead, you push forward. “You’ve got a lot of friends. Set me up with one of them.”

Beomgyu’s face is flat. “No. No way.”

“C’mon!”

“Have you gotten over Jeong Seung, or whatever, ghosting you already? How can you hop onto a new guy so quickly? You know you can’t trust men nowadays.”

You click your tongue. “We weren’t even talking for that long, and I know you won’t set me up with a bad guy! Please? Do this for me, just once, and I won’t bring up something like this ever again.”

Choi Beomgyu looks like he’s judging you to the ends of the earth, but his lack of verbal response tells you he’s actually considering it, and he’s not quite happy about it. He lets out a grumble and slides up the wrinkled receipt you have on your table. Then starts scoring unintelligible marks on it with his index nail.

“What the hell are you doing?” you ask, craning your head forward.

“Listing down your candidates,” he says, and your eyes widen in pleasant surprise.

“Holy shit, I didn’t think you’d actually agree.” He grunts in response. You try your best to make out his shitty handwriting, but when you do manage to decipher one the names listed, you snatch the receipt from him and your face quickly contorts into disgust. You squint your eyes at the scribble to confirm you read it right. You are unfortunately proven correct. “Heeseung? Seriously?”

Beomgyu simply shrugs. “His compsci girl dumped him. It’s time for you to sweep him off his feet.”

“I’d rather kill myself, thank you. Have you forgotten he’s the reason why the rumors are as bad as they are?” you say, bringing the list closer to your face while your eyes quickly scan through them.  

“How about Hyunjin hyung?” he asks. Oh, yeah. He’s definitely listed here.

“I make his heart race, but not for the good reasons,” you answer, and you reach the end of his stupid fucking list. “Wait a minute. Only your club buddies are in this. All of them are less than human. How dare you?”

He lets out a huff. “Even Hanbin?” Well. Hanbin is definitely better than all of them combined, for sure. “I thought you had eyes for him.”

That completely catches you off guard that your breath stutters a little. Yeah, Sung Hanbin has definitely proven himself as boyfriend material while you worked with him at Horangnabi, but you’re pretty sure he has something going on with Julie seonbae and you have no plans on being a third-party— not matter how desperate you are to just find a quick and easy date. 

“Then, you thought wrong,” you retort. What even gave him that idea?  “Anyway, nevermind. I realized that I’d rather not outsource my future boyfriend from you because none of your recommendations are good enough.”

He snorts, taking a sip from the float. “Boyfriends are definitely outsourced, sure.”

You snatch it from him before his lips can even touch the straw. “You’re so unsupportive. I’ll ask Minjeong to set me up on a blind date instead.”

Beomgyu wonders if you can even trust Minjeong’s eye for men considering that she didn’t even guess that Jang Seung was actually a jerk. You shoot him a glare. The coming morning, you actually do end up bumping into Seung again for the first time since he ghosted you. You walk up to him for a hello— for some closure maybe, but all he does is shove past you before you can even let a syllable out. Heeseung is with you when that happens. His mouth drops in outrage, head snapping back at Seung’s direction, and he almost starts marching after him. “Hey, what the fuck—”

“Leave it be.” You grab onto Heeseung’s arm, stopping him from causing a scene. “It’s not worth it. Let’s just head to class.”

“What a douche,” he huffs out, sending Seung one last glare drilled into the back of his head before matching your pace.

Minjeong pulls through with arranging you a date with a friend of a friend of a friend. She says he’s hot. You trust her judgment because, well, third time’s the charm, right? You’re headed to a newly opened board game cafe downtown five minutes later than scheduled because if you’re gonna get stood up again, you might as well waste five minutes less of your time. A text from Beomgyu alerts you the moment you lay your hands on the door— [i can’t swoop in this time once you get ghosted again. they won’t let me leave the clubroom 😢]. Once you get ghosted. Asshole. You don’t bother replying and head inside.

Much to your surprise, your date is already there, introducing himself as Song Eunseok and you do the same. Now, he seems nice and all— and holy shit he looks like he could be an actor— but the biting feeling that you’ve heard of him before is preventing you from feeling guilty. You order a light meal. Eunseok does the same and tries to make small talk in a light mood. Eunseok. Eunseok. Where the fuck did you hear that name from again?

“Ah!” you exclaim, preemptively dropping the dice on the snakes and ladders board. “Do you know Lee Heeseung by any chance?”

He looks surprised. “Oh, I do, actually. Are you friends—”

Then it hits him. And then his face grows pale. You lean back, arms crossed, something patronizing tugging on your gums that forms your mouth into a half-smile, riddled with incredulity and offense. Go on. Explain, your face says. This was the guy Heeseung set you up with last semester and ditched you. Of course you never have one normal, decent date. You’re actually cursed.

“Uh. Wow. Haha. What a coincidence.”

Beomgyu’s soulmate talk from the other day comes to mind. You’ve smuggled a blind date with this guy twice, which has to be a weird string of fate, right? It should be romantic, but the only thing you’re feeling right now is mild annoyance and a surge of satisfaction after seeing this guy’s guilt ridden face. See, soulmates are bullcrap. Choi Beomgyu can eat shit.

“There— there was an emergency,” he sputters out. “The guys who I asked to watch my dog while I was out canceled last minute. I couldn’t just leave Charlie alone at home.”

Well. He did show you pictures of Charlie, so that amended your opinion about him a but. Just a little bit because from that revelation, the any hope of things progressing into something more was magnanimously ruined, but neither of you wanted to waste your meal, and you two were still in the middle of a 1v1 snakes and ladders competition so you went on with the date, and he walked you to the bus stop 

He was cool. Kind of. You tell Heeseing about it at Horangnabi the next day, and he falls to the floor crying and slamming his fists to the ground. “It’s not fucking funny,” you say.

“It’s so fucking funny,” he wheezes. “Holy shit. What are the odds? This is amazing.”

A chortle-snort huffs out of you beyond your control. Okay. Maybe it is a little funny. Until it’s not, because later that evening you receive a text from an acquaintance you have in one of your GE courses, a picture of you and Eunseok attached from that night, asking [hey is this you? did you break up with choi beomgyu?] 

That was when the third wave of rumors started.

And it’s arguably the worst wave yet.

“Once I find out who fucking posted this, I swear to god—”

Minjeong is stomping the ground. You’re sitting on a bench at the courtyard, face-to-face with an anonymous post on the student board. It’s a big block of text, glaring straight at you from Sungchan’s laptop screen with a heading in thick, bold letters saying Do you think some people just cheat as a hobby? You don’t know why they’re showing this to you. That is until you read the first few lines, and it hits you.

[Post: I’m not naming any names, but there was this girl I was talking to for a while. We hit it off immediately and she acted like she was super into me so I asked her out on a date after a few weeks of talking. Lmao. She said yes but didn’t reply to my texts for the rest of the night, and the next morning I find out she has a boyfriend who she’s been too busy fucking the entire night so that’s why she that’s why she wasn’t replying. Sure. Okay. Whatever. But today I got the news that she’d been cheating on him with another guy again. Guess some bitches are just born as whores. Ifykyk lol].

[Comment from Anon 1: LMAO the way I know exactly who this is referring to. you dodged a bullet, buddy. the bf’s dumb too for not dumping her yet]. [Reply from Anon 2: to think the guy has flaked out on us so many times just because of  his serial cheater girlfriend. buddy, get the fuck up. open your eyes].

[Comment from Anon 3: ain’t it weird how she’s always in and out of a clubroom full of guys? lol, must be wild in there].

[Comment from Anon 4: drop names! people need to know which freaks to avoid!]

There’s a lot more comments. Sungchan shuts his laptop before you can read any more. Minjeong is fuming from behind you. Sure, there weren’t any names, but it’s obvious who the poster is referring to. It’s obvious who posted this. But you’re not even angry. Your chest doesn’t sting, you don’t feel your head throbbing. All you’re thinking is wow— you can’t just expect everyone to mature the moment they leave high school. Some people still mentally belong to the playground.

“I’ve reported it,” says Sungchan. “Don’t think about it too much. It’s all bullshit anyway.”

“Yeah, don’t worry,” you smile, getting up from the bench seat and landing a ruffle on his head. “It’s fine. Thank god I’ve grown out of my anger issues. The guy would be dead if he pulled this stunt last sem.”

Minjeong and Sungchan escort you halfway to the coding club room because you mean to check on how Beomgyu’s faring. On the way, you pass by a group of people— a few familiar faces amongst them— their eyes trained on you as you pass by. “Fucking whore,” you hear one of them gruffly whisper, followed by hushed laughs, and you and Sungchan have to stop Minjeong from throttling them. It’s like high school all over again. This is ridiculous.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come with you?” Sungchan asks, a hallway away from their clubroom. You tell them it’s fine and shoo them off to head to their classes. They leave, albeit hesitantly, and you finally make your way to the room, the old gray door right in front of you.

Your hand reaches out for the handle. But you don’t twist it open. You pause, lips pressed together, deep in thought.

These guys only tease you and Choi Beomgyu just for the hell of it— you know that. You truly know that. But because of you, some anonymous fucks are talking shit about their friend online right now, and you know they’re his friends before yours. You hesitate for a moment, hand letting go of the handle, until you hear someone walk up from behind.

“Oh, sorry, I—uh, I was just—”

“You’re not coming in?”

It’s Hanbin. You blink at him. He’s still smiling at you pleasantly, like he always has. Maybe he hasn’t seen the post yet. He hums and nudges himself beside you, opening the door in your stead, and holds an arm out, ushering you in.  

You hesitate for a moment. You suck in a deep breath and charge in, expecting maybe an awkward bout of silence from your intrusion. Or the noise pollution they usually emit. But no. You don’t think you’d have ever predicted to see all of them standing in formation right in front of you— two lines, front and back with Heeseung and Jeongin at the head of the back. Beomgyu’s in there too, wedged far left at the very back. What is this? What the hell is going on?

Suddenly, Heeseung stomps his feet, four fingers pointed to his temple in a salute. This is just confusing you even further. “Atten—tion!” he hollers. The rest follow with a resounding, chest-heavy exhale, posing in the same manner.

You’re about to ask what in the world they’re up to. Until Heeseung and Jeongin suddenly break out into an oath of speech.

Nothing will ever prepare you for this moment. They’re all crazy.

“We, the honorable members of Kool Kids Koding Klub—”

“We, the honorable members of Kool Kids Koding Klub.”

You were never informed that that was their club’s name. That’s so fucking stupid. You have to hold in a burst of laughter.

“After a long moment of thoughtful reflection and inward-consideration—”

“After a long moment of thoughtful reflection and inward-consideration.”

“Do humbly realize that we have fucked up and have been abominably stupid—”

“Do humbly realize that we have fucked up and have been abominably stupid.”

“In the following ways.”

“In the following ways.”

This is stupid. This is insane. You turn to Hanbin. He just gives you a look that says, “let them finish.” You cup your mouth with a hand, cheeks protruding. Gosh, they’re a bunch of idiots.

“Number one. For making constant jokes and teasing you and our fellow member Choi Beomgyu about a relationship that we know has never existed despite your evident and consistent expression of disapproval— we are sorry.”

“We are sorry!”

Wow. So they are capable of self-reflection.

“Two. For bringing said stupid and dumb and distasteful jokes in public— which may or may not have reached the ears of susceptible bystanders who do not know the true and full truth— we are sorry.”

“We are sorry!”

How’d they memorize all this? You’re honestly impressed.

“Lastly, we—”

“—Lee Heeseung—”

“—and Yang Jeongin—”

“—duly acknowledge and take responsibility for the fact that we, unintentional or otherwise, may have inadvertently started and exacerbated these horrible rumors, which eventually caused a butterfly effect and snowballed to an extent and severity that we lacked the foresight to predict and prevent. For this, we are truly, deeply sorry.”

“We are sorry!”

They all bow in unison. Ninety degrees. It’s quiet now. Dead quiet. Your eyes scan the number of heads turned down, some bobbing ever the slightest, some dead still and frozen. “W—we…we’re done,” you hear Jeongin say. You bite down a laugh. The moment you utter a semblance of forgiveness— not even able to finish your sentence yet— Heeseung immediately springs out of formation and throws himself into you.

“Don’t worry! We’re on your side!” he declares. “We know you’d never ever cheat on Beomgyu!”

There’s a cough. You stare at him, his arms wrapped around your shoulders in silence. No one says anything. Heeseung shamefully pries himself off of you.

“Sorry. I’m not making those jokes ever again. Please don’t hate me.”

You give him a push. “Too bad. I already hate you.” Heeseung whimpers. Then you turn to the rest of the boys, all patiently waiting for you to give them the greenlight. “You guys didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t blame any of you.”

And it’s like the oxygen returns into the room and they release sighs in a chorus. Yeonjun walks up to you for a hug and tells you to cheer up. Hyunjin says that they’ve been trying to track the original poster’s and commenter’s IP addresses and connected accounts since this morning. They’re actually doing something club related for once. You’re shocked and proud.

“Thanks, but there’s really no need. I already know who posted it,” you say. Your eyes are trained to the back of the room, where Beomgyu is hovering around. He hasn’t come up to you yet. You really need to talk to him.

“Still,” Hanbin says. “It’s better to get concrete evidence. We can report them to student affairs for this, you know. This isn’t just some minor issue.”

You point your chin up, giving him a smile in response before excusing himself to corner the guy in the corner. 

He’s not going anywhere. You move in one straight direction. Heeseung and Jeongin step aside to make way for you. Old plastic bottles and tattered furniture are no obstacles to you. You march up to Choi Beomgyu. He doesn’t move, but he doesn’t look at you either until you’re already standing in front of him, shoes pointed a mere inches away from each other. He’s fidgeting with his fingers. His eyes peer up— hesitant, unsure. You can clearly see what’s troubling him. 

It’s like he’s bracing himself for you to push him away. Again. Like he’s always causing you trouble. Like he’s always been the root of all your problems.

Your throat tightens, but you swallow it down. What should you do to make it clear to him that that’s really not the case?

“I’m borrowing him for a moment.”

You don’t wait for an assent when you grab him by the arm and pull him out of the clubroom for some privacy. The hallway is full of people. You pay no mind to the dozens of eyes drilling into you as you tug Beomgyu’s jacket sleeve through the turns and corners, stairs and exits until you find yourselves at the back of the building, devoid of anybody else. You let go of him with a push. Beomgyu’s heels scrape against the ground. You cross your arms, looking at him with a huff.

“Spit it out,” you say. “What’s going on inside your head?”

His face is tense. He lifts up his hand— barely. Just barely in an attempt to reach out to yours, but a hesitant quiver forces it back down. Fuck. You really don’t like this. You don’t like this at all. 

“I’ve been thinking,” he starts.

“Shocker,” you respond, trying to lighten things up. 

“Shut up.” It works for a second because he shoots you an annoyed glare. Only for a second because he gets serious again, and your stomach feels heavy. Like the earth wants to swallow you whole. “Can you be honest with me? Am I giving you a hard time?”

You feel a squeeze in your lungs. You press your lips together. You force in a breath.

“I think— I think I won’t be too mad this time if you ask me to act like I don’t know you again,” he says. “It was more peaceful for you, wasn’t it? Nobody bothered you and you spent your uni life without having to hear anything painful or mean from people you don’t even know. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I should’ve tried harder to protect you. I’m sorry.”

Beomgyu says nothing more. It gets quiet. You run the words he just said over and over again in your head wondering why the hell would he ever think that? Why would he think you’d want that? “Hey, fuckface,” you say. He flinches. “Do you remember what you said to me the day we made up?”

He stiffens. There’s no way he wouldn’t remember. There’s no way you’d ever forget.

“You said you couldn’t live without me.”

A tinge of red stains his ears. You pull on the arm he held back earlier, forcing him to finally look at you in the eye. They’re stained red too. The back of your throat burns. You don’t care. You push the words out of your mouth even if it ends up killing you.

“If you can’t live without me, what makes you think that I can live without you?”

Beomgyu’s eyes widen— like it’s a surprise for him to hear that. Like it’s a surprise for him to still be near you, hovering around in a circle that he thought was temporary. It’s not. That’s one thing you’re sure of. That’s one thing you can say with confidence that’s never going to change.

“You’re so stupid,” you say, roughly letting go of him. “Take back your apology. You’re uglier when you’re about to cry than when you’re actually crying.” He responds by pushing himself back into your space, and you’re taken aback when he suddenly swallows you with his arms. 

He’s squeezing you so tightly. He isn’t even giving you the wiggle room to hug him back.

“Thank fucking god,” he breathes out, voice muffled into your shoulder. 

You do what you can to pat what you can reach. Beomgyu finally releases you after fifteen, twenty seconds. His eyes still look a little irritated, but he didn’t cry. There aren’t any snot marks on your shirt. He’s such a baby.

“But, you know,” he says with a sniffle. “I’ll do whatever I can to fix this, but this is really gonna ruin your chances of getting a boyfriend.”

“Rumors stand nothing against my nightly eleven-eleven wishes.” 

He laughs a little. You smile. “You’re so fucking lame.”

The fruits of the coding club’s labor materialized two days later. You receive a text early in the morning to head to the clubroom. Jeongin welcomes you with a list of all the people who made malicious comments on the post and, of course, the poster himself— Jang Seung. No shit. That was expected. But what came as a bit more of a surprise not only to you, but to Beomgyu as well, is the fact that many of his many many many friends were on that list, their corresponding comments attached.

It doesn’t really bother you since you don’t even know them. But you can’t say the same for Choi Beomgyu.

“I didn’t see it coming either— wait! Beomgyu, where are you going?”

Beomgyu storms out of the club room, shoving off Yeonjun’s hand when the former tried stopping him— much to no avail, because he’s already gone before you know it. Some of the guys follow him out. You’re not too worried. You’re pretty sure he’s got a sound head on his shoulders. He’s never gotten into a fight since he was, like, twelve. 

But maybe you overestimated his impulse control. Maybe you should’ve paid more attention to his expression when they revealed the list, because you later find him sitting on the stairs to the entrance of your apartment building with two unmistakable, vivid, and well-formed bruises on his cheekbone and jaw.

You stop at the foot of the stone stairs. He looks up at you with a grin. “You’re home.”

Spinning. Your head is spinning. “You’re a mess,” you tell him. Beomgyu gets up and follows you into the building, into your apartment, and you sit him down on the sofa before you make a beeline for the fridge to grab a bag of frozen vegetables, wrapping it with a fresh dishcloth.

Beomgyu refuses to tell you what happened when you start icing his face. You look at him, the makeshift ice pack retracted from his bruise while you give him your most done expression you can muster. He won’t budge. You put Jeongin on the phone. The guy spills everything to the table without even needing a nudge.

“You just lost a good chunk of your friends,” you say, as a matter of fact, while tapping the cold cloth to his face.

Jeongin had just informed you that he blew up on his so called friends earlier, causing a minor, uh, altercation to break out, with one of them landing a fist to his face because Beomgyu allegedly dropped the terms pathetic and disgusting pieces of shits, as your informant quotes. Beomgyu doesn’t look bothered at all. His eyes just wander around the corners of your apartment as you tell him that his social circle just shrunk overnight.

“You think I care about that?” he says, leaning back against your couch. Your arm stretches out to chase after his face. “I really don’t give a shit. I can live without them.” But it stutters mid-air after hearing that. You clear your throat. You tell him to scoot over and make room because you can’t reach the bruise.

“This is gonna look pretty ugly tomorrow,” you remark. He says his hands got a little fucked too. You sit up, face scrunching. Indeed, his knuckles aren’t looking pretty. You grunt and fish for a first aid kit from your bathroom cabinet. When you get back to the living room, Beomgyu is sitting patiently with the vegetable pack pressed to his face.

“I’d like you to be angrier, honestly,” he says while you put some ointment on the hills of his knuckles. “This is all my fault.”

You set his hand down on your tangled legs on the couch, still barely grazing over his fingers. “I already told you, it’s not,” you sternly say. Beomgyu fiddles with your fingers. He’s not looking at you. “It’s not your fault everyone’s so far up in your business.”

“Well. That’s true.” Beomgyu simply lets out a lamenting sigh. “Why am I so perfect? It’s so hard being a wanted man.”

You roughly let go of his hand, tossing the ointment at him too. “If you’re so perfect, go fix yourself up, you fuck.”

He whines and tells you you’re a heartless meanie, picking on an injured man, and you feel a weight lift off your shoulders because he’s being annoying again. Because he’s acting like his usual self again— and to you that’s the only thing that matters right now. Even if the entire world thinks you’re a whore and a bitch and a cheater, there’s still one person who’s willing to get his face bruised and battered just to tell them they’re wrong.

That’s enough, you think. That’s more than enough.

나비 / NABI. © hannie-dul-set, 2024.

61. because of you

[ synopsis ] choi beomgyu has spent his entire senior year slacking off and causing mischief. but, due to his inattentiveness, his slacking off went too far and if he doesn't improve the grade in his literature class he'll guarantee himself a seat in summer school. yn has big dreams to be on stage and star on broadway. however, she needs to impress recruiters with one last production as the lead in order to earn herself a spot in a new york based school. when beomgyu's literature teacher makes him join their drama club for extra credit, their futures quickly become intertwined and dependent on each other.

[ note ] i feel like those ao3 writers who disappear bc of outrageous circumstances bc why have i been literally fighting for my life since graduating omg.. anyway we're so back (AGAIN AND FR THIS TIME LMAO)

taglist (CLOSED): @heyanonymous123 @flrtsbin @anonella22 @chocorenchin @gyuszie @flowerbe0m @kaikamalover @n034sy @iactaid @suzirumas @pupkashi @choi-beomgyulvr @hearts4hanni @naveries @wccycc @wonioml @burminq @a55hie @wildesreblogs @kaewonie @online--princess @alixox @minkyungseokie @moa4lifeee @yeehawnana @peakaboostuff @txtistheloml @sieuneo @weyrrii @cookiehaos @vianna99 @akari-saka13 @crystal-jellies @veryjeongintxtkid @reiloml @mystiicturtle @sirpoopsalot @certifiedmoa @l0ve-joy @woncheecks @hellohuening @rainbowszi @yeonie137 @neoculturewhat @solstramaii @tocupid @cha0thicpisces @koeuh @iwaplant @lemons4u

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jerk! giving up

between a friend from college coming to visit and the common occurrence of yeonjun putting his relationship before your friendship, the last thing you need is beomgyu waiting to poke his nose where it doesn’t belong. but despite his need to fight with you on everything, his actions show a completely different side of him. a side that cares for you.

pairing choi beomgyu x fem! reader

genre humour, angst, fluff, guitarist! beomgyu

warning cursing, alcohol, hangover, nausea, jealousy

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you fixed your hair in the mirror, trying to find the perfect balance between messy and neat. the door into the bathroom on beomgyu’s side pushed open, and you cursed under your breath as he stepped into the room. you straightened up and looked at him expectantly, waiting for his harsh words or at the very least a complaint. he stayed silent.

his eyes trailed across your figure. you were dressed in a way he’d never seen you dress before, and you were wearing a much more mature style of makeup. you were looking at him through narrowed eyes beneath a sultry smokey-eye, and your lips were painted a seductive red. he swallowed thickly and averted his gaze towards the linoleum floor.

‘why are you staring at me?’ you rolled your eyes and turned back to the mirror to dab at your lipstick.

‘you look ridiculous,’ he lied. ‘where are you going?’

‘a friend of mine from school is coming to visit,’ you explained. ‘we’re going to hit the club and then she’s going to crash here for the night. so, please, knock before you barge in like you just did.’

‘is that really a good idea?’ he raised a brow.

‘what, clubbing?’ you scoffed. ‘okay, grandpa.’

‘drowning your sorrows with alcohol,’ he stated. ‘it’s only your fault that yeonjun made a move on that music store girl. you should have been clear about your feelings.’

‘stay out of it,’ you sighed, looking down at your hands that were gripping firmly onto the sink’s edge. ‘why are you even talking to me? we’re not friends.’

‘and whose fault is that?’ he shot back. you groaned with frustration as you headed back into your bedroom. ‘you’re the one always pushing me away.’

‘huh?’ you spun on your heel to face him. he’d stopped under your doorway. ‘because there was no reason for you to act like such a dick the other day. one second you’re this guy who went to college but loved music more than his degree, the next you’re an insufferable piece of shit who would do anything to piss me off. and you had the audacity to come knocking on my bedroom door as if that’d solve anything.’

‘i’ll leave,’ he rolled his eyes. still, he felt guilt consume him and this sense of doom as he wondered if you’d ever speak to him again. ‘and i’ll use taehyun’s bathroom.’

why did he care? he wanted to rip his hair out of his scalp at the mere thought that he’d grown to care for you.

he was a better person than you knew. he loved those closest to him intensely. he was the best at giving advice and thought of music as a healthy escape. he’d taken great care when editing the songs you’d originally wrote, always turning to the rest of the band for confirmation that it wouldn’t bother you before the music was officially released. yet, somehow, you had this idea in your head that he’d waltzed into the space you left behind and hated you for even existing. that wasn’t the case, you’d just failed to make an initial connection.

still, something had changed.

he could only ever think of you as the girl who showed up out of the blue and claimed that he’d stolen her life. the girl who went out of her way to push him to the limits. but now, you were this girl chasing a life you didn’t want and leaving behind a dream too far out of reach. the girl who lost her hometown, her friends, her music, her childhood sweetheart, and now her second chance at having it all again.

if he could, he would be hitting his head against the wall and praying for the return of the surface-level impression he used to have of you. but he recalled the way you rushed to wipe away your tears and the cracking of your voice. he thought about it a lot. he thought about you a lot. he always had, honestly. despite the jealousy, he’d always wondered about this ray of sunshine his friends had always described. he wanted to meet the genius behind the lyrics. he wanted to make you proud. and then he began to think about you after your first meeting, and where he went wrong. he tried to ignore it and blame it on your childish feud, but no one else thinks so often of a girl they claim to dislike.

he closed your bedroom door with a huff.

you headed towards your bedside table and dug your hand into the bag of gummy worms kai had bought for you the other day. as your teeth pulled back against the gummy treat, your phone began to ring. it was yeonjun. you stared at the screen and waited for his contact photo to disappear. a scanned photograph of your childhood selves sharing an electric guitar at the music store you had once loved so dearly. you really had to get around to changing it, probably to a selfie taken right from his instagram.

the room fell silent after the ringtone stopped. and then your phone began to ring and buzz with text messages from your best friend. you squealed excitedly and jumped up from the bed, knocking the pack of gummy worms to the ground.

taehyun stopped in his tracks as you pulled open your bedroom door. you sent him a smile as you skipped down the hallway and headed for the staircase. as your feet met the final step, you heard her voice as she was escorted into the seating area by soobin. you rushed towards them with another excited squeal, causing soobin to jump and yelp.

‘y/n!’ she called as she ran towards you. your arms wrapped around one another out of instinct, and she began to jump up and down with you in her arms. she leaned in closer and lowered her voice. ‘why didn’t you warn me about how rich they all are? i would have tried harder with my appearance.’

‘oh, please,’ you rolled your eyes and looped your arm through hers. ‘come on, i’ll show you to my room. oh, and i share a bathroom with this really annoying guy but he promised to not use it while you’re here.’

‘really annoying guy?’ she turned her head towards you and raised a brow. ‘you mean beomgyu?’

‘precisely,’ you nodded shortly.

‘yeonjun is calling you again,’ your best friend spoke before continuing to sip from her straw. your gaze cast down towards your phone before you shrugged. ‘what’s up with you two?’

‘literally nothing, as always,’ you sighed. ‘he met this girl and the rest is history. i refuse to entertain him any longer.’

‘you’re giving up on him?’ she raised a brow, shock evident in her expression. for as long as she had known you, yeonjun seemed to be the only guy you’d ever truly wanted.

‘he’s not the only guy in the world,’ you rolled your eyes and picked up your glass. you stirred the icy liquid with your straw as you stared at the base of the glass. ‘i’ve dated other guys and had no issue before. i think i only wanted him because he was like this connection to my childhood, and being here just makes me nostalgic. but i’m not a child anymore. i mean, look around, there’s a hundred guys in here alone.’

‘just don’t do anything stupid,’ she warned as she finished her drink. ‘and don’t go home with any of them. how on earth would i find that awkwardly hidden mansion all on my own?’

you laughed audibly. it felt good to see her again. she was a reminder of the life you had now, after spending too much time in a world you no longer belonged in. the five boys were just a friend group of yours, nothing more. you didn’t live here anymore, you didn’t make music, you weren’t going to fit perfectly back into their lives. you had a career to chase and a group of wonderful people in another city. you had past loves, mistakes, memories, favourite spots, records of your time at college. what did you have here besides a lost dream?

‘should we dance?’ you smiled as you set your glass down.

‘obviously,’ she pulled herself up and threw her bag over her shoulder.

you grabbed the remainder of your things and abandoned the table you had been sitting at for over an hour now. your friend reached for your hand and began to pull you through the centre of the crowd. to her, it was just a bunch of strangers together in one room. to you, it was the people you had sat beside at a desk during your school years, still waiting around in this town for something great to happen to them. hopelessly holding onto the love they have for their hometown, and not the desire to move onto bigger things.

you would have been the same, had you been given the chance. to sit and wait around for your music career to take off, and never receive a full education. your parents wanted more for you. still, you wondered if things would have went your way had you stayed. would you been as successful as beomgyu is now?

the most popular songs of the week played through the speakers, regularly being mixed together in order to create a messy transition. it was exactly what you’d expect from the sole club in your town. you still managed to enjoy yourself.

you weren’t sure how long you’d been there, dancing and singing along to the songs that you actually knew. not that it mattered, you had nowhere to be and nobody waiting on you.

beomgyu could have told you. he’d been watching you for the past hour, refusing any offers to dance as he leaned back in his position on the couch. conversation fell short in front of him, and he’d been working on the same drink for as long as you’d been dancing. something about the way you moved was purely mesmerising. there was yet another side of you that he might’ve missed had he stayed cemented in his opinion of you. as your eyes landed on him, he dropped his gaze to his glass sitting on the table in front of him.

‘unbelievable,’ you sighed, and grabbed your friend’s arm in order to switch places with her. ‘beomgyu is here.’

she made a move to look past you, her eyes landing on him instantaneously. her mouth fell agape as she turned her attention back to you.

‘that’s beomgyu?’ she smirked. ‘he’s hot! why are you wasting your time whining about how annoying he is? have him!’

‘have him?’ you brought up your index finger and pretended to gag. ‘i’d rather have a shark bite off each of my limbs.’

‘god, you’re so dramatic,’ she rolled her eyes. ‘he’s literally cute, successful, and rich. and you share a bathroom with him! he’s literally right in front of you.’

‘okay, and?’ you shook your head. ‘sometimes there’s a door right in front of me, doesn’t mean i should go and bang my head against it. same experience, honestly.’

‘somebody needs another drink,’ she rolled her eyes and stepped away from you.

almost as if you could sense him coming, you spun around with your arms folded and found yourself glaring up at beomgyu. he held his hands up in defence and wordlessly slipped past you.

‘what are you doing here?’ you called out to him, making him pause and turn back to you.

‘i was having fun with my friends,’ he started. ‘but now it seems like i’m about to have my night ruined by you.’

‘that’s rich,’ you clicked your tongue. ‘is sitting there staring me down really your idea of fun?’

‘i wasn’t staring you down,’ he narrowed his eyes. ‘and what do you know about fun? aren’t you here just to forget about your feelings for yeonjun?’

‘shut up,’ you waved him off and followed in the path your friend had taken only minutes ago. ‘it has nothing to do with you. like i said, just stay out of it.’

‘you know what your issue is?’ he followed behind you, a sly smirk on his lips. ‘you bite the bait far too easily.’

‘you know what your issue is?’ you aggressively poked at his chest, taking a step toward him. ‘that little taste of fame gave you some sort of god complex, and now you think you’re above me because you played some guitar and slightly changed my sentence structure. everywhere i go, you’re waiting there ready to knock me down even when i feel like i’m on my last legs. you’re a jerk, beomgyu. a first-class asshole unable to have a little bit of respect for anyone but himself. you’re so far out of touch, and you don’t even realise it.’

‘and what are you?’ he retaliated, feeling his heart ache beneath his ribcage. ‘besides a girl so set on making me miserable? everything is just a competition to you. we wouldn’t even be having this fight if you were able to be in my presence without looking for a place to start. and i’m sorry that you gave up on your dreams to go to university, but you can’t continue to punish me for doing the opposite.’

‘just stay away from me,’

‘gladly,’

how could the day possibly go worse?

after drinking too far past your limits, you would have collapsed if not for beomgyu keeping you upright. he carried your drunken self out of the club and got the three of you into an uber. and then it was up to him to get you up the staircase and down the hall into your bedroom. recalling it all the moment you woke up, you’d thrown your pillow against the wall connected to your shared bathroom out of both anger and humiliation. your best friend groaned and begged you to shut up whilst the headache came on.

you felt as if you might die all the way over to the shower. and on the floor of the shower, because standing made you feel as if you were about to puke. and when you brushed your teeth, the mint flavour was nauseating to say the least.

but none of that mattered when you managed you bring yourself downstairs for something to eat. and there stood yeonjun, the girl from the music store, and the sound of their laughter as they bonded over the simple action of making an omelette. you turned with the intention to retreat, bumping into your friend who forcefully shoved you forward.

‘you hungry?’ yeonjun spoke, leaning back against the counter. ‘’gyu told me what happened.’

‘oh, yippee,’ you rolled your eyes. ‘i’m not hungry.’

‘she is,’ your friend interrupted, nudging you with her elbow. ‘thanks for the offer, yeonjun, but my uber is here.’

‘you’re leaving?’ you turned to face her with hurt in your expression. ‘already?’

‘i’m sorry,’ she wrapped her arms around your shoulders and pulled you into a hug. ‘i’ll text you when i get back.’

‘oh, okay,’ you frowned as she pulled away.

‘it was nice meeting you all,’ she waved as she stepped towards the door out of the room and into the entrance hall. ‘and tell beomgyu thanks from me.’

she left you there, and the energy of the room seemed to drop. you cleared your throat and turned towards the seating area where taehyun was sitting and scrolling on his phone.

‘are you busy today, y/n?’ the girl spoke. you stopped in your tracks, locking eyes with taehyun who seemed to display his concern. ‘me and ‘jun are going out for dinner later. thought you might need a little bit of a pick-me-up.’

it would have rude to decline her invitation, so you went. unwillingly so. just you, her, and yeonjun for the entire day.

she remained attached to him for the entire time. she gripped onto his bicep and bounced as she spoke, a kind smile on her lips. it infuriated you, and knowing that she wasn’t intending to hurt you just infuriated you further. you didn’t want to be so angry with her or yeonjun. but he was your yeonjun, until he suddenly wasn’t. and seeing him fall for somebody else made you feel sick to your stomach.

arriving home was a blessing. if you ignored the fact that she was going to be staying over. in his room, in his bed.

beomgyu knew exactly what to expect. he pushed open your bedroom door and softly closed it behind himself. you hardly had the energy to fight with him, only lifting your gaze momentarily to check who it was coming to disturb your peace. he was fiddling with a pick between his fingers and leaning against your bedroom door. his heart ached once more when you looked up at him with sadness in your gaze.

‘i know you don’t want to see me,’ he shrugged. ‘whether it be because of the argument we had last night, or the fact that i was the one who had to deal with the state you got yourself into. but our rooms are very close, and i can’t just sit there listening to you sob by yourself.’

‘i don’t want to talk about it,’ you sniffled and dropped your legs to lay out in front of you. ‘but thanks for getting me home safe last night.’

‘we don’t have to talk about it,’ he awkwardly chewed the inside of his cheek as you continued to stare up at him.

‘you can sit down,’ you laughed shortly and patted the space beside you on the bed.

beomgyu sunk into the mattress at your side. you watched him as he fiddled with a loose thread on his jeans.

‘can i just clear some things up here?’ he avoided your eyes, but caught sight of your short nod. ‘first of all, i don’t hate you. nor do i intend to hurt you every time we bump into each other. it actually pains me to know that’s how you feel. and i don’t have a god complex, i just started giving you the same energy that you gave me, and i didn’t know how to stop.’

‘so it’s all my fault?’ you rolled your eyes.

‘will you cry again if i say that it is?’ he smiled slightly, trying to lighten the heavy air that surrounded you both.

‘you’re the worst,’ you sniffled once more and began wiping at your tears with the sleeve of your hoodie. ‘but thank you trying to explain, i guess.’

‘i’m sorry,’ he sighed. ‘sometimes i overstep, i know. i was having too much fun getting a reaction out of you. but i can see that you don’t need that right now.’

‘don’t you dare bring up yeonjun again,’ you rolled your eyes, suppressing your smile.

‘is he not the reason behind your current state?’ he pushed.

‘still not talking about it,’ you sighed, and pulled your knees back against your chest once more. ‘i’m sorry for being a bitch to you all of the time, too. i do always seem to bite.’

‘can i ask you a personal question?’ he tilted his head to the side as he looked down at you.

‘go ahead,’ you shrugged.

‘why did you move away?’ he looked over your features to make sure he hadn’t made you uncomfortable. ‘i mean, there’s a university here. i would know, i went to it.’

‘my parents wanted me to be away from the distraction of the band,’ she frowned. ‘they said i wouldn’t do well if i was too busy playing around with my guitar. so they bought a house far from here and took me with them.’

‘that sucks,’ beomgyu nodded to himself as an agreement. ‘do you still play?’

‘no,’ you huffed. ‘my guitar’s currently collecting dust in an unpacked box at my parents’ place. it’s been there since the end of my first year, when i stopped coming here so often.’

‘do you regret it?’

‘getting an education?’

‘giving up on music,’

‘i miss the people i shared that hobby with more than the hobby itself,’ you began to fiddle with the fabric of your pyjama pants. ‘this band used to be my whole world. and yeonjun was the one who told me that going to college was for the best. i was naive to think they’d wait for me to return.’

‘it wasn’t planned,’ he made sure to look into your eyes. ‘me, joining the band. i bumped into yeonjun at the reopening of the music store and we talked about guitars for a while. after a few months of friendship, we started playing together. it was all supposed to be experimental.’

‘oh, how humble,’ you laughed. ‘i like your songs. they have nothing on my own, of course, but…’

‘i actually really loved your original songs,’ he smiled, staring down at his hands. ‘i felt bad changing them, but they all told me you wouldn’t mind if it was for the sake of the band. oh how wrong they were.’

‘you guys made me look like a ghostwriter,’ you rolled your eyes. ‘i don’t even have a mention on your socials.’

‘take it up with kai,’ he held his hands out in defence, shrugging. ‘i don’t even have the passwords.’

the two of you laughed in sync, eyes locked. your laugh faded into an appreciative smile, and beomgyu bit down into his tongue before he could tell you how pretty your smile was.

beomgyu couldn’t think of anything worse to be doing with his spare time. and not because you were directly involved, but because he’d already been sitting for far too long under the fluorescent lights of the changing rooms.

you’d step out, and taehyun would go over to observe. he gave you his honest opinion and the two of you discussed each of the dresses in heavy detail. meanwhile, beomgyu sat scrolling on his phone. occasionally, taehyun would snap at him to pay attention. and then minutes later, he would go straight back to staring aimlessly at the screen in a doom-scroll.

he was halfway to announcing his need to grab a drink due to the hot weather, when you stepped out in this dark blue dress that had him stumbling over his words before he could even speak them. his gaze darted back down to the floor as he cleared his throat, but you didn’t miss the look in his eyes. you felt your cheeks burn as you smoothed down the fabric and turned to face taehyun.

he began his rant of how this dress was the right one, as your attention shifted to the boy staring hard at his phone.

beomgyu looked so attractive in that moment. his legs spread out as an armrest for his forearms, the phone between his hands and his head dipped forward. but not too forward, as his features were still visible. the sleeves of his light grey hoodie had been rolled up, and his brown hair was attractively messy. with the recent events that had occurred, you began to wonder if he found you attractive. he’d stared you down enough times over the past week to suggest it.

and you wondered if you found him attractive in return.

you smiled to yourself as you nodded in agreement with taehyun, deciding that you’d finally found a dress for graduation. whether it had been for beomgyu’s gaze or taehyun gushing about how perfect it was didn’t matter.

sitting back against your headboard, you tossed your phone down onto the bed and dropped your head into the hands. a deep sigh left your lips as images of beomgyu clouded your thoughts.

following the purchase of your dress, the three of you grabbed a soft pretzel and a refreshing soda before walking aimlessly around the mall. at every joke cracked by taehyun, you found yourself holding back a laugh in favour of hearing beomgyu’s deep chuckle. your eyes seemed to block out the third-wheel standing between you, expression curious as you looked over beomgyu’s figure over and over again.

his hair was falling perfectly over his forehead, and his black headphones wrapped around his neck were the ideal contrast to his light hoodie. every time he ran his fingers through his brown hair, you felt yourself growing giddy.

all of a sudden, you were crushing on beomgyu.

maybe it was due to the passionate nature of your relationship, or maybe it was due to the softness in his gaze you only recently had the pleasure of experiencing. whatever it was, your friend had been right in her words. you lived mere metres away from him, your bedrooms connected by a singular bathroom. he played the guitar, sang, and was a talented composer. not to mention he was attractive, and there was no denying it. and his attentions remained solely on you. there was nobody else.

well, nobody other than yeonjun, but that was a hopeless feat.

time had already been wasted. you weren’t sure of the future, and you had wasted the perfect opportunity of beomgyu and his closeness. you groaned as you fell back against your bed.

you buried your face into your pillow and screamed into its material, willing the plaguing thoughts of beomgyu to disappear. but they wouldn’t, and a part of you didn’t want them to. a part of you wanted to steep in the feeling of a fresh crush, smiling to yourself as you thought of his voice and his smile and his hair and the fact that he was only metres away from you at all times.

but then you remembered that you were supposed to hate him. he got on your nerves, he overstepped, he spoke in a way that intended to knock you down a few pegs.

but the look in his eyes as you stepped out in that dress…

you pulled yourself up out of bed, feeling a headache coming on from all of the conflicting thoughts. your hand clutched the side of your head as you pulled open your bedroom door and headed down the corridor. the lights were off downstairs, it being late by now, except for the dimmed lights left on in the kitchen as they always were.

as you pulled open the fridge, you jumped at the sound of someone placing a glass down beside you.

‘sorry,’ beomgyu laughed shortly. ‘i thought you knew i was down here.’

‘evidently not,’ you grabbed a water bottle and closed the fridge softly. ‘what are you doing still up?’

‘i’m always up late,’ he shrugged, leaning back against the counter. ‘my schedule is messed up. the downside of not having a real job. why are you up?’

‘headache,’ you frowned. ‘i’ve got a lot on my mind.’

‘like what?’ he tilted his head in question, feeling bold. maybe it was the outfit you were wearing, being a t-shirt and some bed shorts he struggled to keep his eyes off. ‘your mind’s far too pretty to be full of worries.’

‘are you flirting with me?’ you raised a brow.

‘depends,’ he shrugged nonchalantly. ‘do you want me to flirt with you?’

‘uh…’ you avoided his burning gaze. ‘are you feeling okay? you didn’t hit your head on a cabinet or anything, did you?’

‘is that your way of flirting?’ he narrowed his eyes. ‘at least you think i’m tall.’

‘you’re acting weird,’ your response only received a shrug.

‘am i acting weird or are you oblivious?’

‘oblivious to what?’

‘nevermind,’ he pushed up away from the counter and began to walk away. ‘goodnight, y/n.’

‘you’re leaving?’ you set down the still unopened bottle of water and felt your expression drop with disappointment.

‘yeah, you’re not playing along,’ he sighed. ‘you’re no fun.’

‘i am fun,’ you shot back. ‘you just… caught me off guard.’

‘why?’ he raised a brow. ‘because you didn’t realise there’s other aspects of my personality besides being a jerk.’

‘because i wasn’t expecting you to be so bold,’ you rolled your eyes. ‘but hey, at least you admitted to being a jerk. self-awareness sure is sexy.’

‘oh so you think i’m sexy?’ he teased, leaning his head against the archway.

‘i think you need to go lie down,’ you narrowed your eyes suspiciously.

‘will you lie down with me?’ a smirk broke out across his features.

‘oh, as if,’ you scoffed. ‘i’m going to bed now.’

you stepped past beomgyu, turning your head back to see his gaze was indeed following after you. as you headed for your room, you tried to shake off the thoughts and the conversation you just shared. it was like you were in some sort of alternate reality all of a sudden, one where there hadn’t been weeks of mutual dislike passed between the two of you.

a sigh left your lips as you closed the door behind yourself. the headache remained, perhaps even stronger now.

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cein and hwan are so dumb and dumber and i'm devastated we didn't get more of them together