Since Weve Seen Zombie Au With Steve May We Have A Little Something Of Vampire!eddie?

Since we’ve seen zombie au with Steve may we have a little something of vampire!eddie?

Sorry I don’t have any sort of plot in mind, I just think vampire!eddie is cool :)

thank u for your request! vampire!eddie x ditzy!reader

"Eddie," you say, in that meandering way you do, like talking is a pastime with no urgent goal at the end, "one of your friends is in the bathroom."

Eddie blinks, the spoon in his hand quickly put back into the bowl of cereal it had risen from. "What?" 

"One of your friends is in the bathroom," you say, and only now does he notice you have soap all over your face. Suds in your brows and the baby hairs of your hairline, across the soft hill of your chin and at your nostrils. 

"Baby, you've half-washed your face. Come here." 

You sit at the dining table beside him and Eddie sets to work, one hand on your thigh, the other your face as he dabs the soap away with his hoodie sleeve. Your eyes flutter closed at his gentle touches. Eddie feels satisfaction in knowing you trust him to be so close while you're unguarded. You've never been scared of him, but Eddie is scary. He can hear your heart slow as he finishes, and that's when he wonders why it had been beating quickly to begin with.

He tries not to listen to your heart. It plagues him when he's hungry, and it feels like a strange invasion of privacy. "Sorry, it's freaky, but I can hear your heart–" 

"Sorry for what?" you ask. 

Eddie shakes his head fondly and chucks you under the chin. He wants to go back to his cereal, but he continues, "What has your pulse up?" 

"I told you, baby, there's a friend in the bathroom." 

Eddie knows better than to expect an explanation. He puts his bowl of cereal in front of you in case you're hungry, kisses the top of your head, and goes to investigate the bathroom. 

Eddie's shocked as he opens the door. The bathroom is in extreme disarray, which isn't unusual for you typically but he cleaned it last night, and you may be scatterbrained but you don't often leave the faucet blasting hot water full pelt. He turns it off, collects the pile of tipped laundry on the floor, and wonders how best to ask you if you're feeling alright when he notices something alarmingly large. Your soapy face is explained, as well as your quick-beating heart. You must've seen what he's seeing and run away. 

"Holy fuck," he says, flinching back hard into washing machine. "Holy fuck! What the fuck is that?" 

"So you've found your friend?" you ask from the hallway. 

Eddie scrambles sideways out of the bathroom and into the hall with you, almost knocking the bowl of cereal clean from your hands. "That thing is not my friend." 

"What? I thought you liked spiders, they subsist off of the same kinds of things," you murmur, a little drop of milk at the corner of your mouth. You lick it away absentmindedly.

"A spider could slap my ass and hand me a cheque for a million bucks and I still wouldn't like him," Eddie denies, peering into the bathroom cautiously. The Spider had been hanging down from a web and nearly as big as Eddie's hand. He's not making friends with that. "And how about you, huh? I thought you liked spiders? You keep enough of them." 

Sometimes you'll keep a spider inside of a mason jar for artistic purposes, sketching them before setting them free. "Yeah, Eds, I like spiders," you say around your spoon, "not tarantulas." 

He waves a hand at you, vaguely irritated. You giggle and offer him a spoonful of cereal, which he accepts. The two of you stand and chew with your backs against the bannister, staring at the bathroom door. Too afraid to look away, and too afraid to go back inside. 

"Wanna seal it off?" he asks eventually, morosely, knowing he's not brave enough to go and deal with it. 

"Yes." You scrape the bottom of the bowl with the spoon. "We could call Steve?" 

"I'm not calling Steve." 

"Okay. Hey, this could be good for us. Peeing outside connects you to nature, or something." 

Eddie sighs and rubs his pale face. He's way too hungry to deal with this, for both cereal and something less family friendly. He can't tell you, though. You keep offering to let him bite you. "Alright," he sighs. "I'll call Harrington." 

"Then you'll have two friends in the bathroom," you say, nearly to yourself as you begin down the stairs, "like a party. I'll go make you some more cereal." 

"Thanks, sweetheart," Eddie says with a relieved laugh, closing the bathroom door and drawing a cross against the woodgrain.

He doesn't notice the shadow of his definitely-not-friend as it squeezes under the doorway.

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

Not to talk about the watcher thing again as I’ve already kind of said my piece, but one of the most batshit insane parts of this whole unbelievable situation is that for some reason they decided that for some fucking reason the BEST time to announce this highly controversial decision was literally DAYS before they would be going on an international tour and having to face irate fans IN PERSON. Guys. What the hell. At least have the sensibility to announce a move that you HAD to have known would make people upset AFTER one of the few times you actually interact in person with your fanbase.

I hope you’re ready to investigate the Tower of London for ghosts, because I have a feeling the Londoners will be more than happy to acquaint you with the building later this week.

Insane move after insane move. Truly.

Reading a book about slavery in the middle-ages, and as the author sorts through different source materials from different eras, I am starting to understand why so many completely fantastical accounts of "faraway lands" went without as much as a shrug. The world is such a weird place that you can either refuse to believe any of it or just go "yeah that might as well happen" and carry on with your day.

There was this 10th century arab traveller who wrote into an account that the fine trade furs come from a land where the night only lasts one hour in the summer and the sun doesn't rise at all in the winter, people use dogs to travel, and where children have white hair. I don't think I'd believe something like that either if I didn't live here.

I've read your vampire eddie fic and its soo lovely I adore them being weird toghether <3 and I thought how will reader and eddie pass the summer? I totally see her saying shit like Vlad please put on some sunscreen lol and eddie be so grumpy

“It’s not that you don’t like it,” you’re saying. 

“No, that’s exactly what it is.” 

You sit down on the picnic blanket by his hip with a plate of summer fruit sweating in your hands. You’ve dotted a few ice cubes through the mountains of it, water melting, turning pink from the melon and yellow with the pineapple juice as the sun bears down.

“The sun is good for you,” you say, taking a slice of apple with green, bright rind in between two fingers. You have very pretty hands, Eddie’s thought that ever since you met, and they’re prettier still because of how you use them, you’re oh so gentle. “Just like this.” 

He won’t let you feed him, taking the apple as you press it to his lips, juice and water wetting his fingers. “The sun does nothing for me. I’m dead.” 

“Are you?” you ask, a genuine curiosity to your tone as you put the plate in front of him. Eddie, on his front, anticipates your next move before you’ve decided, not just because of his super senses but also because you’re a predictable creature, who loves him very much. Unlikely and true. “I thought you were only half dead,” you say, resting a hand by his ribs and leveraging yourself across his back in a hug. “Well, I thought you were undead.” 

Eddie is regrettably undead. “I forgot you were the expert on my condition,” he says, putting the apple slice in his mouth whole.

“Your condition,” you say, your face slotting into the back of his neck, forcing him to close his eyes and settle into the blanket, grass beneath it crisp from the heat. 

“My vampirism.” 

“Ah, I thought you meant your behavioural issues.” 

“Of course you did.” 

You don’t say anything back. Quiet, your hands slide up in front of his armpits, your head lolling heavily to one side. You mouth a word against his neck, a second and third, but Eddie can’t decipher what it is you’re saying even with his incredible hearing, can only feel the soft curve of your lips as they shutter closed, hot like a fresh bruise beneath his ear. 

Eddie nudges you to slide off of him, turning, cautious of the plate, to offer you his arm, and to see your face more clearly. You’ve forgone any of your fun makeups today, weary of the heat, all your wrinkles and lines in stunning detail under his gaze.

You lay on your side and Eddie lifts the arm that isn’t supporting him with his finger bent into a tight ‘n’ to stroke the skin under your chin. “You’re pretty,” he says, his knuckle rubbing back and forth. 

“You’re beautiful,” you say back. The hair at the nape of your neck is damp with sweat, and as you both lay there in the humidity, a bead of it races suddenly to sink into the fabric of your top. 

“You’re really pretty,” he says, ignoring your deflection —though for you, he doubts it’s a deflection at all, only a thought you’d had and spoken without qualm— in favour of lavishing you with some more love and praise. He opens his palm and touches his fingertips to your cheek, conscious of the heat, stringing the words together slow as the heavy pour of a maple tapper, “I don’t like the sun, it’s hot, and I’m melting, but I don’t think I mind it when you’re here too.” 

Your heart does a jump, to his smugness, an audible caper of your pulse. “Everything’s better when we’re together,” you say. 

He nods severely and lifts your chin just a touch, tilting his head to the side to kiss you. The pressure of his fangs is forgotten, a blood sate too far away to ignore the more nefarious longing that thrums at the centre of his chest, but overpowered anyways by practice, and desire; he’s gotten a thousand times better at kissing you, because you like to be kissed, and he likes to give you anything he can. 

He can’t pretend he doesn’t like this, either. You cover his hand with yours and wade in like a quick tide, pulling back and pushing in, like nips without the pain. Your hand slips into his hair. “I love you,” you say, “but you’re sweating like crazy.” 

“You’re sweating worse,” he says. 

“We’ll have to take a vacation.” 

“Where do you want to go?” 

“Literally everywhere cold.” 

Eddie can’t leave Hawkins. He needs blood, and there’s only one sheriff who’s willing to source it for him. But it’s a nice idea, a fantasy he won’t ruin for you. “Where’d you want to go first?” 

“I wanna go to that place with the Northern Lights. We’d never complain about sweating again.” 

You squint at him. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Where do you want to go?” you ask. 

“Anywhere with you.” 

“Well, you’d have to.” 

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?” he asks. 

“I’m your only portable blood bag, Eddie.” 

He lays back on his back, covering his eyes with an arm as the other comes to rest on his soft stomach, whirl of a scar thick beneath his shirt. “Never gonna happen.” 

You shuffle closer to him. “One day,” you say, laying down next to him with your face nearly flat to the blanket, the heat of your body a palpable thickness he wouldn’t change for the world, dehydration inevitable. “You’ll give me a nice sharp kiss and that’ll be that.” 

“Never.” 

“Imagine it.” Your voice turns to a whisper. 

“Never, babe,” he says, he promises, the weight of his arm over his eyes like an iron. 

“I’ll just have to bite you instead.” 

You open your mouth and press your teeth to the hill of his shoulder, dull and wet, your breath like a kiss before you let your lips drift shut and give him a proper one. “Love you,” you say. 

“Love you, freakazoid.” He wrestles you into a cuddle he’ll regret sooner rather than later, wishing his vampirism were better at keeping him cool. He’s cold to the touch most of the time. Right now he’s baking. “But I’m not biting you,” he says into your forehead. 

You laugh breezily. “Not today you’re not. That’s why I made fruit salad.”