A While Ago I Left An Ask In The Inbox Of A User I Followed Who Had Been Posting For The Last Several

a while ago i left an ask in the inbox of a user i followed who had been posting for the last several minutes about how distressed they were, how terrible they felt, and how the wanted to kill themselves.

i told them, that of course, i could be on the other side of the planet, that we could never cross paths, and that i don't know them... but that i still hoped for their happiness and recovery and success. that i hoped that they could escape their shitty situation, and i promised them, that things would eventually get better.

they lashed out, responding so harshly, they said that i didn't really care, and of course, i understood. it's hard to believe that some stranger on the internet cared, a stranger that went into their ask box anonymously.

and then a while later, they posted again. that they were sorry, that they felt terrible, that they were cruel for responding in that way.

so, i left one more message. told them that i understood. told them that there was nothing they had to apologise for. they never responded, but i remember they kept posting after that.

that was... about 3 or 4 years ago now.

i still think about them.

i don't know their name, their url, or even the reason i followed them. but i think about those interactions.

i hope they're okay. i hope things got better for them, like i promised.

A Silver sketch for no apparent reason

you know the drill, op disabled reblogs etc etc etc

for all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

this sucks so bad i'm gonna (remembers suicide jokes are harmful for my mental health) replace myself

Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.

This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.

[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text “Good Bi Gender”, the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person’s face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: “Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can’t call me she/her. And here’s why.” Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.

Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. “I don’t want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon.” The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an “X” through it. Text next to it reads: “People don’t seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though… Or they think even worse of them than that…”

Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don’t like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy… I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I’m still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”

Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It’s both! I’m both! They’re not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I’m both despite the insistence that I can’t be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that’s all I will get from most. Because it’s “easier”. It “makes more sense”. To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don’t, I will never get to have he.” [The words “she” and “he” are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I’m still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]

Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!