The Autism Thing Of Having To Learn To Preface Every Question You Ask With Holy Shit I'm Just Curious

the autism thing of having to learn to preface every question you ask with Holy Shit I'm Just Curious Please Dont Yell At Me because it turns out a lot of questions seem to Mean Something and people will get mad if you ask them

also lady nagant and hawks’ relationship is truly unparalleled. I was your superior then I went to jail for killing our boss and you replaced me and now you hold the position of our old boss I killed and you want to be my boss and employ me but jokes on YOU you will pay for my food and housing without me working until you prove yourself to ME. you gave me hope for a better future you better explain your plan for a better future before I start taking your orders. reverse job interview I’m staying in your jail until you tell me why I should work for you. and you cannot stop me.

i think people gloss over lady nagant's hurt and actual emotions too often and just skip straight to "she wanted to be a hero, she was just disillusioned". like yes, that's her core feeling, that at the end of the day she was good and virtuous. but there was also heaps of guilt and resentment and disillusionment piled on top of that. saying "oh but she's a good person at heart" invalidates all of her hurt. this was never about whether she was truly good or evil, it was always, at its core, that she had reached a breaking point, and she was done being a martyr for the perfect, idealized hero society that everyone took for granted.

i'm not trying to say "therefore she was actually bad", i just think that a major part of what makes lady nagant interesting is the conflict between the altruism at her core and the desire for her own self-respect which was at war with her role as a hero.

at the end of the day, she shot the president because her personal feeling was that she didn't want to kill anymore. and i don't think that, at the time, she was thinking about the general corruption of society and how that was linked to the hits she carried out. like yes, obviously, having government sanctioned black ops assassins is a bad thing, so therefore, putting a stop to it would be "for the greater good" "to achieve a less corrupt society". but in that moment, she was not killing "for the greater good of society". that single bullet was different from every other bullet she's shot, because it wasn't shot with the belief that it was for the greater good, but she shot the president for her own sake alone.

in an ironic twist, you could say that the shot she fired in a moment of "selfishness" was "good", whereas the shots she fired out of her sense of heroism were "evil", and that's a far more fascinating aspect of lady nagant to think about, rather than just boiling her down to "she's good and altruistic at heart and she saw the corruption of hero society and got fed up with it". this is a true statement but also an oversimplification of her backstory.

@singular-i-tea

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually