The Eternal Problem. I Want Long Hair.

the eternal problem. i want long hair.

but also

short hair

it rained today, the kind of warm weather rain that makes everything look green and bright

you’re sitting on the couch, watching a cozy animated show that’s technically for kids

there are festive scented candles burning on the table and the christmas tree is lit up with colours

the star is crooked.

it’s warm, you can hear your sister singing upstairs, your mum just outside with the dogs, your brother in the kitchen

you’ve recently graduated high school and you realise that for the first time in years there’s nothing to worry about

you’re at peace

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the-

you’ve combined my favourite things in simultaneously the best and worst way

When the 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

something something doomed by the narrative and bound by my character

call me grian the way i am trying so hard not to press this button with the inevitability that i will fail

Imagine floating around in cosmos with a cool little guy you think you might really fancy, and then you get thrown down into a dimension designed for torture because you asked why your stars were only gonna shine for 6000 years.

Imagine being kicked out of one oppressive regime only to be forced to work for another.

Imagine being sent to Earth to do shit you don’t believe in, and imagine running into your friend from before, the guy you still fancy, and now he thinks you’re evil - he’s brainwashed, or too scared to admit what he’s really thinking.

Imagine spending 6000 years following him wherever he goes, tiptoeing around your feelings, his feelings (the HEART eyes are unbearable, but he can’t seem to act on what he feels, and you’re trying to be respectful, so…) and the rules of your respective fascist regimes, as well as the norms of a world that fucking hates queer people (because whatever you are, you’re certainly not a straight, cis man…)

And imagine that the lesbian running the coffee shop across the street figures the two of you out and tells you, and you learn that everyone KNOWS you’re into each other (which is dangerous on so many levels), and now the world is on overtime since the apocalypse got averted and there’s no time like the present, so you decide to tell him how you feel…

Imagine that, before you get to drink yourself into honesty, Heaven and Hell then lose their shit over another demon and angel getting it on and it all works out perfectly right in front of your eyes, they even get to run away together, the rules seem to have changed and whatever it was you were so scared of is perhaps not something to be afraid of anymore.

Imagine that you tell the guy you love him and that he admits he loves and needs you too, no big news there, but BECAUSE he loves you, he accepts a position in his former oppressive regime and thinks you want to rejoin the cult with him. You say no and he fucks off. You watch him disappear forever, in the gayest neighborhood (where all the other queers/ celestial beings get to hold hands and sing Buddy Holly songs to each other) in Europe, after 6000 years of feeding ducks from benches and him calling you evil because he’s scared of God himself.

IMAGINE THAT.

And then Your Fucking Song comes on in the car, the car that ONLY plays Queen.

“If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all, to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of civilization.”

~ Robert Green Ingersoll