I Am Aching For The MemoryOf The Way Your BodyFelt Against My SkinWhen You Pulled MeFrom The Ledge And

I am Aching For the memory Of the way your body Felt against my skin When you pulled me From the ledge and Told me never again Would you let someone Make the same mistake You did. I am Aching For the memory Of your ghost. 

— taylor swift, from “evermore” (2020)

Why can’t I breathe When you get near me Why can’t I speak When you say: “I’m listening’” Why can’t I be The one to cut this off Strike a match against The wall and burn everything Reminding me of the way you Hold me down at night Your eyes bulging From their sockets Insanity tainting Your touch. Why… Why… Why… Do I take it? Why do I let you Take and take Till I’m empty, Numb and can Only smile Teeth bloody Cheeks aching Soul raw and torn. Why… Why… Why…. Why can’t I let you go? Am I really so addicted to the pain That I can’t escape your vices and Keep on drinking from the fountains of your eyes -- is this the price of love Taken from the very hand of Hades. Why….

Loving you 

Is like jumping Into a frozen lake. Breathtaking.

Less consuming, more creating. Imagine how much time wasted everyday spent consuming on social media, Netflix, movies, Youtube, Podcasts...mindless scrolling. Imagine if you poured all that wasted time and energy into creating the life of your dreams? Pouring into your business ideas? Creating that painting, that song, that dance whatever your thing is. And believe me, there is something within you, an idea, a gift, a skill that’s waiting to be unleashed, something you could be sharing with the world but instead you are wasting your life consuming. Now is your time to snap out of consuming, and create. Create with all your soul. It’s not a dumb idea, it's not delusional. Your dreams have been planted within you for a reason. Now is the fucking time more than ever to start living them, breathing them, and creating them.  

The version of you right now is deserving of love. Not you two years ago when you had more of your shit together, or the five years later version where you’ll surely be thriving. The version of you right now. The one that might just be okay, or is really struggling, or is bored and unproductive. That version deserves love. Having trouble accepting this is fine, but actively denying it is not. Your value is intrinsic, and finding confidence in that is mandatory.