Danny: Why Do You All Have Such Similar Names? I Swear! *sigh* You Can't Be Red Because He's Red. You

Danny: Why do you all have such similar names? I swear! *sigh* You can't be Red because he's Red. You can't be Robin because he's Robin. So, you are Robin, you are Red, and you are Hood.

Red Arrow: What about me?

Danny: Arrow

Green Arrow: And me?

Danny: Green

All four Green Lanterns: What about us?

Danny: Fuck all the way off, Lanterns Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest, and Dumbass

Hal!Green Lantern: Hey, that's-

Danny: You wanna test me, Dumbass? That's what I thought

Bruce and Harley are friends. Bruce and Harvey are friends.

May I present: All three grew up together.

They met at a park one day, or even on the first day of first grade, and decided that they were gonna be friends forever.

They all probably kissed once just to see what it would be like. They also made a promise to marry each other/move in together if they weren't in a committed relationship by a certain age.

They definitely planned to work together in the future, all having to do something with the law. They were gonna be the good guys, kicking ass together because there's no way they'd ever stop being friends.

And then Bruce's parents were killed.

And then they couldn't all go to the same high school because Harley lived in Park Row and Harvey lived in Old Gotham and Bruce lived in Bristol.

And then Bruce disappeared.

And then Harley went insane.

And suddenly, Harvey was the only one left.

But Bruce came back! And Batman appeared. And Harvey was busting his ass trying to keep the city safe while also reconnecting with Bruce and telling him what happened to Harley. Harley joins The Joker, entering a relationship with him.

Batman has to keep locking Harley away in the very place she wanted to help people, and Bruce dies a bit every time because that's his friend he keeps putting there.

Harvey goes insane, calling himself Two-Face.

And suddenly, Bruce is the only one left.

None of them are doing what they set out to do.

Harley - in nice terms - is no longer with Joker. Harvey is still in and out of Arkham. Bruce now has three two kids.

Harley reforms, getting the help she needed, but she doesn't go back to what she'd grown up wanting to do. Harvey keeps going through the revolving door that is Arkham Asylum, but he knows Batman won't hurt him because Bruce would never hurt his friends on purpose. Bruce now has 7 kids, two of which he can't officially adopt because one still has living family and the other doesn't want that. Bruce and Harley reconnect.

Mom accidentally locked Mittens outside in the [basement] window last night because she didn't check and Mittens got caught in the sprinklers (2-8 am, on and off)

In retaliation, Mittens has invited another grasshopper into the house. Mom moved before it could jump on her, but Sox and Mittens are now playing with it in front of the bathroom

Can I just have a billionaire's credit card for a day? Please?

I promise I won't do anything malicious with it! I just need to get food and a car and a house, a few cats, a cargo trailer, and a vacation

A conversation we'll probably have at some point:

You: How do you spend your free time?

Me: Wisely

You: Really? How wisely?

Me: I write

You: Really? There's been no updates

Me, sweating nervously: I have been writing...just not anything you can see yet

You: Proof or it didn't happen!

Me: I can't show you! 😭

You: Why not?

Me: Because it must never see the light of day

You: Then why are you writing it?

Me: Because it plagues my mind like a parasite until I do something about it

You: Screenshots or it didn't happen

Me: 😭😭

The people have spoken!

Secret third option it is

For Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant

This will impact the direction of the story, although you won't see how until much later (if you even realize it at all)

Please reblog so that I can see how many want what fate