My Cat Has Been Dead Asleep On My Lap For The Better Part Of Two Hours Now.

My cat has been dead asleep on my lap for the better part of two hours now.

I have no excuse to move this time (I had to earlier because I was in pain and losing feeling in my legs)

I'm stuck until she decides to move.

That'd go over well.

John Constantine, Tired Dad™: "I told you to check in every hour. You all are still in training. What the hell-!"

Young JLD Member 1: "You told us we had five minutes of buffer time for the check in."

Young JLD Member 2: "And we had Phantom with us, so it's not like we were totally in the dark or anything."

Young JLD Member 3: "Watch your damn language, old man. We're kids."

John Constantine, regretting his choice only slightly because he did not sign up to be a dad but he now has a group of kids to watch over and train: "I said five minutes of buffer time, not five hours."

Danny 'totally an adult', glancing at the clock: "... it's five after ten?"

John: "You missed six hours of check in!"

Danny: "There was no cell service!"

John: "The fuck you mean-?!"

The entire Young JLD Team, headed by Danny: "Language!"

DP x DC Prompt #35

There's a Teen Titans, there's a Young Justice, but there's no Teen Superhero team that deals with things that Justice League: Dark does. And, well, John's a little tired.

Once teenager superheroes stop being teenager superheroes, and they seem to belong with JLD, they got tossed in the team. But, they aren't prepared for the team. They haven't dealt quite with threats that JLD handles all the time. They're not experienced enough.

So, John decides it's time to get a Young Justice: Dark team started. He's shit at leading, though, so he calls Phantom for a favor.

It's fanfiction it doesn't have to be perfect it doesn't have to be accurate this is a hobby you're doing this for fun it's okay if it isn't perfect and polished you're doing it for fun [talking to myself in the mirror]

I know a couple people gifted me 8 full hours of rest, but I have some disappointing news for you.....

Here's a shenanigan that I won't be using in Batman's Biggest Hater, but I think it's really funny.

So, we all know that in canon, the Batman persona sometimes slips into the Brucie persona (not hugely, but it does on occasion). And I know we all love a good head canon where the vice versa happens.

Scenario: Pre ID Reveal. The JL are up on the Watchtower for a monthly briefing. Superman and Wonder Woman both know who Batman is, and Batman knows who they are. No one else does.

Just as the meeting has started Bruce gets a call that he'll have to answer as Brucie, but he can't answer in front of the JL. Luckily, he can get away with sending whoever it is to voicemail exactly once. If they call again, he'll have to take it. Unfortunately, whoever it is calls again, so Batman excuses himself and heads to his room on the Watchtower for some privacy.

Thirty minutes later, Batman still hasn't come back. Superman says that he's still on the phone and that it's an important phone call. Wonder Woman agrees and tries to get things moving along. The others know Batman has a civilian identity, but why would a phone call be taking this long? Green Arrow excuses himself to the bathroom and goes to check on Batman.

The door is closed but unlocked, probably because Bats didn't think he'd be in there that long. Green Arrow hears a voice on the other side that he's very familiar with, but it's not Batman's growl. Worried that someone snuck into the tower somehow, Green Arrow walks into the room.

Batman is still on the phone, but he's Brucie Wayne right now, not The Dark Knight: "Of course I will be there, hun! I wouldn't miss your birthday gala for the world!"

Oliver Queen went to school with Bruce Wayne. They dated for a little while in school. Green Arrow is a little bit frightened. He doesn't know what to do, so he stands there in shock as Bruce Wayne Batman jumps from topic to topic while on the phone with whoever this is for another ten minutes.

Batman knew he should've locked the door, but this is an amusing outcome, so he's not too upset. Regardless, he finished his phone call, but didn't slip back into his Batman mindset.

Green Arrow, still in shock and denial about what he's just discovered: "No. Say it isn't true. Bruce? Brucie? Is that...is that you?"

Batman, still in full Himbo Mode: "Ollie! It's about time you figured it out!"

Green Arrow, still reeling: "No."

Batman, being dramatic because this opportunity is too good to pass up: "Yes, Ollie Babe, it's true."

Green Arrow: "I've gotta be dreaming. This is absurd!"

Batman: "I know it is. But you wanna know the best part?"

Green Arrow, despite his better judgement, nods.

Batman leans in real close to his ear and whispers, "No one will ever believe you." He then kisses his cheek and leaves the room. They have a meeting to get back to.

Are you reading the words, or are you experiencing the story?