I'mma Rant For A Second.

I'mma rant for a second.

Someone please validate me.

I think I'm beyond justified when I say that no one listens to me.

This show (Come From Away) is running for three days. I've had the five shifts (4 on the weekend, 1 Friday) for three weeks. Counting my conversation with my parents a few minutes ago, I have explained what this show is, where I am, what it's about, and the history behind it 23 times.

6 times to my mom

4 times to my twin

2 times my older sister

3 times to my dad

8 times to my grandparents

What the actual duck does a girl have to do to get someone to listen to her?

All I'm asking is that people make an actual effort to remember what I tell them, especially when I talk about something I love.

My coworkers (4 of them) have asked what I know about it, and they all remember the basics of what I told them. They even listened to the soundtrack like I recommended!!

My sister won't even take ten minutes to listen to two songs with me. My mom doesn't even remember what the first song is called (I've told her 5 times now). I know for a fact that none of my family will listen to the music on their own.

I just want to share what I'm passionate about. I want others I know to share in the joy I find in this show and others.

And, y'know? I keep finding that this is a reoccurring problem. I can't bring it up to anyone, though, because they all tell me that I'm overthinking it or looking too much into it or seeing things that aren't actually there.

Humans are designed to pick out patterns in everything. We pick them out and we create them.

I see a pattern, I point it out, and I get told there's nothing there.

Either I'm gaslighting myself or everyone else is gaslighting me.

Someone please validate me. Please tell me I'm not crazy. Please put a name to these feelings because I'm going to shatter if someone tells me one more goddamn fucking time that I'm seeing a pattern where there isn't one.

I would cry like I want to, but that would ruin my make up. I have another shift in about 2.5 hours, and I don't have my makeup back with me, so that's a no go.

I'm gonna go read. Thanks for listening

I managed to get my tabs down to three

I managed to keep my tabs down at three

I made the mistake of not reading as they were updating, so my tabs went up to ten

I asked my friend for some sad fic recs so I could have a good cry and now my tabs are up to fourteen

The show hasn't started yet, but I'mma be on my laptop anyway. As long as I keep an eye on the doors, like I've been doing since just before noon, then we'll have no problems.

And my phone is gonna die. I have to let it charge before I can continue reading fanfiction.

I haven't started on Chapter Twenty. How do I start it? We're getting to the crux of the issue. I finished setting it up in Chapter Nineteen, but I don't have a single clue on how to start this one! jhrpwoejfkjdxfughaoneworih

Anyway

I know this is just a general rule of thumb, but please don't ask about my search history. You won't like what you find. It's between me, God, and my FBI Agent.

Oh, the things I do to please

Please who? Idk.

Okay, so I lied. I didn't finish setting up the big conflict in the last chapter. I got the biggest set up revealed, but I still got some sht to do on it.

Wish me luck.

Off topic, setting up and executing an ARG sounds really fun.

...Anyway

Military Time. I've been using it since I was in middle school, but a lot of my friends and family don't. Almost none of them can read it, either. Now, here's my question for those of you who do/can read/use Military Time (24 Hour Clock):

Do you say "Oh Hundred Hours" or "Zero Hundred Hours"?

I say "Oh hundred hours" or "Oh-one hundred hours" ect. Apparently, it's supposed to be "Zero hundred hours" ect, but that just feels weird to say. (Either way, "zero hundred" is the one I have to use when writing)

Also, weird quirk in my writing: I don't use numbers. I used to, but I stopped. Like, I don't put "8:00" or "8 pieces of candy", I put "eight in the morning" or "eight pieces of candy". (Hence the above question) Is that weird? I find it easier for me to rad, but that might just be a me thing.

The wires of my bra are digging into my ribcage and sternum. It's very uncomfortable.

In other news, I've had the ending of this book set for a while, I've just never known how I was going to get from Point A to Point B. Now that I'm actually getting there, it's all coming together and it's making me very happy.

We're ignoring the other four parts of the series that I have planned and have pieces of written already.

My mind keeps drifting from what I need to be doing. I know I need to work on it, to at least finish this chapter, but I really don't want to. I have to, though, because I know I won't want to come back to this for a while if I don't finish it now.

Send inspo and the will to keep writing please?

I think it's the monotone place I'm typing in. The vending machines are very loud in my ear, I can't hear the show (when it starts), nothing is changing, and I've been sitting in place for just over two hours now. I need to move around but I can't because I'm not allowed to leave this room unless it's for a break, but I can't ask for a break because the doors are open and everyone who can give me a break is busy trying to get the people who had the audacity to show up seven minutes to curtain inside the building.

Anyway

We get to do this all over again tomorrow. Maybe. I might be on doors tomorrow.

kjbfgioherfjdf! I need to stop getting distracted!

How do you get something out of your eye when you have makeup on but nothing to fix your makeup so you can't afford to mess it up or take it off because you're either in public or at work? Blink rapidly until it leaves or you can't feel it anymore. It's not a permanent solution, but it sure as hell works for a bit.

I'm realizing that there's a lot of scene changes in this chapter and the one before, probably the one(s) following, too. So many pieces are converging all at once, moving in tandem to meet in one spot. Once that happens, I'll be able to keep the scenes consistent and have little to no breaks.

Is it bad writing? No. There's no such thing as bad writing when writing fanfiction. (The Harry Potter Series being the biggest example of bad writing)

I accidentally made a father out of a character not designed to be a father. That's never stopped me before, but this character has room in his heart for one child and I gave him seven. None of which, btw, is the one. yet

I'm not gonna be the one to tell him he's a father of seven. He's scary. I would love to be even a tiny bit like him. He's very scary (in both canon and fanon)

I need to clean my keyboard...

Okay, so, when I posted Chapter Eighteen on Ao3, I said that the next update would come next week. But, I'm thinking about just posting as I write. Like, I'm cross posting this story (and two others before I stop posting on the app forever) on WattPad weekly via the scheduled posting feature, so that's not a problem. I can't do that on Ao3, so I have to set weekly reminders so that I don't forget.

Something to think about.

Unless I'm an idiot and there is a scheduling feature on Ao3. I've only been reading on the site/had an account since Sept? Nov? of last year (2023) so I'm still a bit new and getting used to it. Please teach me??? I can offer nothing in return (unless you wanna be tagged in a story here on Tumblr)

I just remembered something. Y'all are gonna hate me. I can't tell you why yet, but you're gonna hate me.

I will neither confirm nor deny any guess you have. All I will respond with is "07".

The chapters are also short in a "I won't find a good stopping place after this if I don't stop now" kind of way. I don't like doing shorter chapters, I've been trying to keep them upwords for three thousand words, but I can't help it for some reason.

Maybe a step back will help?

I think I'm going to do that. I only got two chapters done, but it's been a while. I'm not going to get everything hammered out in a few hours. I don't think I'll be back tomorrow, though, but I will end up working on Chapter Twenty One.

I made good progress. I'm going to stop writing for the night, go read while I wait for the rest of my shift to end, and then I'm going to reward myself with sugar when I get home.

You all do that, too. Idk what you did today, but you did something and therefore deserve a treat. Even if you don't think you did anything, I can promise that you did do something and therefore deserve a treat.

I would say "Good night", but I'll most likely be back to this hellsite sooner rather than later.

Meh. Have a good night anyway.

Unless it's day for you. Then have a good day

<2

The first show of the day has started, that means I can now get away with being on my laptop.

What will I do?

Write stories.

Unfortunately, not the ones you guys here on Tumblr want. Those ones are being put a little lower on the list, but I'll come back to them soon enough, don't worry