"Webby Is A Stupid Fucking Bitch" Is So Much Funnier With The Knowledge That Webby Is Wiggly's Sister

"Webby is a stupid fucking bitch" is so much funnier with the knowledge that Webby is Wiggly's sister

Solomon taking Stephanie's phone away was actually genuinely evil - and not just in the annoying strict dad kind of way - because Solomon KNOWS about all the spooky shit going down in Hatchetfield. He KNOWS how unsafe the town is. And yet, he chose to punish her by taking away her one form of communication in the extremely likely event that something go horribly wrong. Solomon isn't an idiot. He knew what he was doing.

Behold Lord Wiggly!

You can buy him here: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1588982770/handmade-tickle-me-wiggly-jingle?click_key=c51ff732969a2c1c26e7caeb3d4cee6c58603280%3A1588982770&click_sum=385d2294&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tickle+me+wiggly&ref=sr_gallery-1-1&organic_search_click=1&cns=1&local_signal_search=1&referrer_page_guid=f747e51e349.ecb26546fe95a395acda.00

Or here for the miniature version:

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1604733317/miniature-handmade-tickle-me-wiggly?click_key=1dbcfa9fdeb571689d60e5d92bb4f6d90c0e81b2%3A1604733317&click_sum=5f465d61&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=tickle+me+wiggly&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&organic_search_click=1&local_signal_search=1&referrer_page_guid=f747e60a29d.70012c08929832e2c017.00

I wonder if Starkid took inspiration from these Trail to Oregon names for the lords in black

Cthulhu Teletubbies = Wiggly

Pizza Teletubbies = Nibbly

Yahtzee Teletubbies = Pokey

Steve Buscemi Teletubbies = Tinky (Buscemi makes a guy homeless in a film called time out of mind)

Token Teletubbies = Blinky (token = visible representation of something/ owns an amusement park)

So, you know how tinky's whole thing is time travel and he says he wants the full set of Spankoffski brothers? - What if Pizza Pete... is actually Pete Spankoffski? Like, Tinky transports Pete to before the time split and like Ted, he's homeless at first, but he's a lot more resourceful than Ted and he sets up this tiny pizza business that eventually grows into Pizza Pete's. He builds a life for himself and he makes decent money - he's not happy though. He'll never be with Steph.

Imagine modern day Pete and Steph going to Pizza Pete's on a date and Steph decides they have to leave because the manager won't stop staring at her, but she doesn't realise it's because she was his best friend once - and she's still the thing he treasures above all else.

Same.

Paul's life is always either "I'm content and enjoying my lunch break" or "dear god sweet jesus what the fuck is happening the world is ending what the everloving hell" and there's literally no in between