I Do Not Appreciate The Utter Sass I Receive From Inanimate Objects. Sir, You Are A Table. LEAVE ME THE

I do not appreciate the utter sass I receive from inanimate objects. Sir, you are a table. LEAVE ME THE SWEET AND SOUR FUCK ALONE.

I was thinking back to when my Sergei and I shared a room. It sucked for so many reasons, but none more so than the lighting at night.

She’d have the T.V. on, with multiple strips of LED lights, seven lamps on, and strobing globe lights while my insomniatic self was already fighting for my life to sleep. And she’d fall asleep with all of it on, so I’d be up at two AM and not be able to sleep or turn the entire pseudo sun off.

Now that the room is my temple for myself, I cover the windows and I use one of two fun light strips at a time to light the entire room. I don’t like the light.

Riddle me this. Why has pumpkins spice things, specifically coffee, become an unequivocally femmine thing?? I’m not particularly upset about thing, I’m just confused.

Back in the ye olde world, you didn’t just get to have cinnamon or nugmeg or cloves or ginger or allspice. No. You had to fight for them. And pumkins. They’re from North Amnerca. So youcouldn’t even have pumpkin spice until after 1492 or whenever. Because the Europeans had the spice but nit the pumpkin.

And to get the spice, they had to sail to eastern Asia and probably die. Do you even understand how many people died for spices? You can have nutmeg whenever you want, but Jonnathan Williamson in 1368 had to leave his wife, kids, and pronalny lover togo sail to Indonisea with no garenteed chance of survival to maybe get nutmeg ad maybe get stabbed. He didnt know. 

There were teams of men going to varipous plaes around the world in search for the spice and the pumpkin, but we havent even toched the coffee asspect. Because that was anpther thing they had to get. COFFEE WAS NOT INTRODUCED RO EUROPE UNTIL 1526. There was no chance of a pumpkij spice until AFTER 1525. And if you wanted a lil’ whipped cream on the pumpkin spice, you ha to wait until it came to your country and the earliest was Italy in 1549. And they ye olde Italians probably had to die to figure that out to.

Anyways, pumkin spice is a very boy consuable and they disowned it. So yeah. I don’t really know why I wrote this, but it felt importanr.

My phone recently updated and it’s giving me the time using a twenty-four hour clock. I am not too used to reading the time like that. So like the go-getter I am, I have been struggling to do basic addition and subtraction rather than just changing it back.

Today, Sergei told me that she just realized that it’s called “stuffing,” because it is used to stuff a turkey. She is nearly old enough to legally consume alcohol. This was after she tried to cut a pie whilst holding the blade of the knife.

I wonder what everyone was doin’ in Boston today in 1919…