If They Ain't Making Destiel Canon, Why Are They Making It Canon, Do You Feel Me Here

If they ain't making Destiel canon, why are they making it canon, do you feel me here

I’m here for it

okay but i think we can all agree that the writers didn’t introduce that whole ‘cas-goes-to-the-empty-if-hes-finally-happy’ subplot for it to just be ignored.

no no… that shit is gonna go down this season

and its gonna happen after the fucking confession.

tell me im wrong. i dare you.

This is beautifully written, loved it ❤️

15.07 coda--where no words abide

Sometimes, the things that are felt the most are expressed between two souls over the distance and over time…where no words abide. And others may speak freely, live with one another freely, express themselves freely–just like everyone else, but then there is you…you have no words for proof of reassurance, no tokens of professed love, but you have something. Something worth keeping.–C. Joybell C.  

—

Dean burns the bar. 

Dumps tequila and whiskey and gin and rum and whatever other rotgut he finds behind the counter over the floors, the pool tables, the bar itself, the walls–He splashes alcohol over Lee, carefully not looking at his face, at–

Dean swallows down his disgust, his rage, his grief. He pushes it down into the seething mass of his stomach and walks towards the exit. At the door, he turns around. If he turns his head just the right way, he can see the dark lump of Lee huddled against one of the pillars. Dean turns his head the other way before he flicks his lighter. 

He tosses it into the room and leaves as the wave of heat slaps him across the face. He walks away to the sound of flames licking against the walls. 

He puts the burning building in his rearview and he never looks back. 

On his way out of town, he glances at his cellphone. When he sees that Cas called, his heart does a sick little lurch and jump. He fumbles several times over the screen before his thumb swipes at the message. 

When he hears what’s in the message, his foot presses down on the gas pedal until the tires are squealing against the asphalt. 

—

He drives straight through the evening and into the night until his tires crunch over the gravel outside the bunker. His mind is churning with the sound of Cas’ voice on his phone, his words Sam is hurt and then the more desperate, angrier, Where ARE you. The sound of three missed calls spurs him onward, because Cas can never just answer his damn phone, because apparently it’s fine when Dean calls Cas and Cas doesn’t answer, but heaven forbid Cas call Dean and not get an immediate answer. 

It’s a small, mean thought, brought on by fear and helplessness, and the knowledge that there’s still a little smear of Lee’s blood ground into the skin of his thumb. Dean grits his teeth and pushes on and when he gets to the bunker, his heart does a little skip-thump when he recognizes Castiel’s truck parked outside. 

He drives faster than the recommended into the garage and parks the Impala crooked. Grabbing his duffel, he hurries through the hallway into the war room. The sight of movement is enough to make him jog the last few steps until he bursts into the room to find–

Cas looks up at him, eyes wide and startled. Dean thought that his heart did a weird little lurch when he saw Cas’ name in his phone and truck in the driveway, but it’s nothing compared to what’s happening now, his heart is dancing a damn tango against his lungs and ribs and he’s powerless to stop it, he’s caught in the riptide of Cas, back in the bunker, Cas, back where he belongs–

“Dean,” Cas says. At the sound of Cas’ voice smoothing over the letters of his name, something in Dean’s chest shatters. Cas’ voice is unfathomable, soft and bitter and unreadable. 

For weeks, Dean’s practiced what he would say to Cas. In the quiet moments between cases, in the solitude of his room or the shower, in the ceaseless churn of his tires against pavement, he’s confronted Cas thousands of times. Sometimes he’s angry, sometimes he’s desperate. Most of the time he begs Cas to stay. Sometimes, in his fantasies, Cas even says yes. 

But for all those scenarios, Dean forgets how words work when confronted with the reality of Cas in front of him, the glory of seeing the impossible become possible. He gropes for something, anything to say, and can only come up with, “Sam. Is he, uh…” 

 “He’s fine,” Cas says, too quickly, his eyes darting around the room at anywhere except Dean. 

A chasm opens up in Dean’s chest, wide as ocean, wide as the table that separates him and Cas, wide as the years that separate them, wide as the span of his fingers that want to reach out and clutch the tails of Cas’ coat. 

A sigh of relief blows out of Dean, the ever-present clamoring of Take care of Sammy, Take care of Sammy appeased. Something complicated passes over Cas’ face when Dean says, “Good, that’s good,” except Dean doesn’t see what it is since Cas is already turning away from him. 

“Yeah,” Cas says, already moving, always moving away. Ten years and Cas has never stopped moving away, has never stopped walking out of all the doors in Dean’s life. By now, Dean is so familiar with the sight of Cas disappearing out of doorways, that he sees it in his sleep. 

“Good,” Dean breathes, past the pained twist in his chest. “Good.” 

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This was such as Bi!Dean episode, I loved it!

Where the Girls Go Wild and the Boys Play Hard - The Subtext in Swayze’s Bar - 15x07 Last Call

Well, I guess now we know why Swayze always gets a pass… (a shared crush with an old flame).

And I guess we also know that the silent word in the episode title Last Call is booty… as in Last (Booty) Call - or, the tragic end to an old fling.

Ok, so I’m late to the party (I’m sure there is a party, right?) as I’ve just watched the episode and I’ve been avoiding spoilers! 

No doubt the queer subtext in this episode, regarding the nature of Dean and Lee’s previous relationship, has already been the subject of much discussion, many meta and gifs. So, apologies for any repetitions, but I’m gonna give it my best shot.

Firstly I was struck by the name of this old hunting “brother” of Dean’s - Lee. I know Lee Webb was a country singer. But, in the larger mythos of Supernatural, which Kripke based on Kerouac’s On the Road (Sam = Sal Paradise and Dean = Dean Moriarty) Lee would fit as a reference to Old Bull Lee, another character in On the Road, based on Kerouac’s friend, the writer William Burroughs (who was of course, gay).

There are many elements we’re used to - Sam/ Eileen (now overtly on the edge of something romantic) paired in the narrative whilst Dean/ Lee are paired; sharing drinks as substitutes for erotic intimacy (here, dick-touching):

which SPN has used before, notably back when Dean got infected by Nick the Siren by sharing his hipflask with him in Baby in 4x14 Sex and Violence (a subtextual kiss).

Then there’s the reference Dean and Lee make to a good ol’ time of theirs back when they shared an encounter with triplets (of unspecified gender) whilst hanging out with Lorna, in a situation at Swayze’s which could, potentially, turn into a present-day threesome, given Lorna’s earlier overt sexual interest in Dean, and the subtextual tension between Dean and Lee.

This reference to triplets (of unspecified gender) of course, reminds us of those other triplets (also of unspecified gender) to whom Crowley and Deanmon did “extraordinary things” together back in 10x01 Black during their “summer of love”.

But it was the intimacy of Lee’s line to Dean from the stage: “You can’t just sit around lip-synching to Eye of the Tiger when no-one’s watching,” that punched me in the gut. Dean had allowed himself to really be seen by this guy, i.e. shared his secret dream to be a rock star with him, which we’ve previously seen him reveal to another old love, Robin, in 9x07 Bad Boys. 

So yeah it turns out, as Rowena said, “What’s bi is bi,” - and sometimes bisexual lighting is bisexual lighting:

“Making their way, the only way they know how… that’s just a little bit more than the law will allow…” 

The Duke’s of Hazzard theme song, sure, but also, in this context, of course, an anthem, for Dean and Lee, to “outlaw” (queer, closeted) sexuality. 

Then there’s Lee’s bar, Swayze’s, itself, which sheds new light on Rocky’s Bar, the “happiness-trap” dream mind-bar which AU!Michael created in Dean’s head in 14x10 Nihilism in order to subdue him:

Looks like Dean and Lee shared a dream about owning a bar together, way back when Sammy was off at college and Dean and Lee were “hunting buddies”.

And look, Cosmic Cowboy makes an appearance inboth Swayze’s and Rocky’s: 

Yeah, I know it’s a real Family Business Beer Co beer, but that don’t mean it can’t play a role in the subtext additionally, where it connects these two old lovers’ dream bars:

I’ve written previously about the queer-coding of bars in SPN over the years:

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/50661253249/the-bar-scene-in-8x23-spoilers-detailed

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/115759833784/dean-winchester-bars-and-m-m-encounters 

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182142619479/rockys-bar-a-closer-look-in-deans-mind-14x10

And there’s plenty of queer-coding in Swayze’s. Just look at those two guns crossed on the wall between Dean and Lee:

Sure, they’re about to fight, so that’s one layer, but as with the touching beer bottles above, this is also dick-on-dick symbolism 101.

And would you look at that freaking TV screen with the man on the end of a pier at sunset? Yup that also appeared in Rocky’s:

As I’ve often discussed before, pier symbolism has come, in SPN’s visual subtext, to stand for the intimate connection between Dean and Cas, from that pivotal scene in 4x20 The Rapture in which Cas entered Dean’s fishing dream, rebelling against Heaven to do so, and tried to warn him about Heaven’s plans.

Notice The Rapture is also referenced in 15x07 because the case Dean is investigating was reported in the news as a girl being “raptured” (taken up to Heaven). And that pier scene from The Rapture was referenced last week too, as Cas mused about Dean’s love for fishing’s “meditative qualities” during his Jenny Lake case in 15x06 Golden Time. The profound bond may presently be under strain, but oh boy, is the subtext singing from its hymn sheet.

Cas’ absence (and Dean’s longing for him) is layered into the subtext of both Rocky’s and Swayze’s bars. In 15x07 Dean has left the bunker because (we may infer) he’s finding Sam’s burgeoning happiness with Eileen hard to deal with, given his own break-up with Cas, and yet, the poor sod goes and runs, tragically, into another lost love. 

And then this dialogue hits us, and Dean, with break-up feels:

Dean: “Best friends don’t just up and leave without saying goodbye…”

Lee: “Unless they deserve it…”

You have to wonder if the similarities between Rocky’s (which was a fiction, an illusion) and Swayze’s, contains an ominous hint of Chuck’s handiwork. Perhaps he set up this painful scenario (by association, also a fiction) for Dean, to cruelly toy with his emotions. 

The reference to 4x06 Yellow Fever really made my subtext-dar go off, in terms of the multiple layers Jeremy Adams managed to deftly work into Last Call. Dean laughingly tells Lee about catching “ghost sickness” that one time (and of course, Lee’s Eye of the Tiger reference also recalls Yellow Fever for us). 

Yellow Fever, Dabb’s first episode for the show, is, in subtext, a study in queer-panic, which the “ghost sickness” (which infects Dean, not Sam) stands in for. See my queer reading of that episode, here:

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182874642184/old-timey-spn-a-fresh-queer-look-at-4x06

“Ghost-sickness”, aka queer closeted anxiety, becomes deeply poignant here, hanging between Dean and Lee, like the ghost of their old intimacy, which they never vocalise, but which may (if we choose) be read in the way they touch each other.

Overall, this was a beautifully written episode by Jeremy Adams, and the final, tragic (sublimated) penetration of Lee by Dean with the pool cue - a real death echoing, in subtext, with all the “little deaths” (yes, sex) they’ve shared before, was acted to perfection.

Lee’s noises and grunts are the noises of a fight, yes, but close your eyes and listen to that scene. “Wait, wait,” Lee says breathlessly, and Dean pauses, before Lee tells him it’s ok to pull out. And Dean can’t freaking look Lee in the eye because this terrible new intimacy is layered ontop of older intimacies:

So is Dean’s bisexuality still subtext, after this episode?

Yes, given that out there in the fly-by-night froth of mainstream entertainment journalism, it remains (as far as I can see, in my admittedly brief trawl) unremarked upon in 15x07 episode reviews and recaps:

https://tvmoviefix.com/supernatural-season-15-episode-7-last-call-review-recap-spoilers/

https://ew.com/recap/supernatural-season-15-episode-7/

But, Dean does slay the monster in the closet that gives you fake happiness if you feed it the blood of innocents. And in that, we might read a metaphor - for Dean slaying his own closetedness (as much, anyway, as the CW will permit): 

My usual disclaimer applies: reading SPN’s queer subtext does not imply or promise textual confirmation is on the way. 

#well that didn’t take long

Perfect 😍

So far I’m loving the Dean and Cas fight, because they cannot stand eachother right now, ‘fake hate each other’, but then it’s like.

Castiel:  I don’t ever wanna think about Dean again.  Now I am going to indulge in this hobby that Dean taught me about, refer to him while chatting to this guy.  And then use hunting using skills I learned from Dean, and have Dean called for support when I face an obstacle

Dean:  I don’t care where Cas is….has he answered your texts Sam?  Sam has he answered your texts?  I do not want to speak to Cas at all.  Please put him on the phone, look out for danger Cas!  And hey, what’s gorgeous and hangs up?  Me bitch!

Like, yeah.  I can just feel how you two are totally moving on

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