My Brain Is Dead Bc School Started. But Its Also Pumping Hard On The Procrastination Train Using COD

My brain is dead bc school started. But it’s also pumping hard on the procrastination train using COD

so, it’s training for the recruits and Ghost and Soap are in charge of it. It’s hot so the morning meeting is in a hanger instead of outside.

It’s going to be drills today but stopping at 10:30 and restarting again at 4:00, keeping the them out of the blistering heat in full gear to avoid heatstroke.

Ghost is wearing a short sleeve compression shirt today, a rarity for sure. So rare, Soap has never seen just that, always a jacket over and half way zipped.

And Soap is staring.

Directly at Ghosts chest.

It’s a beautiful chest and Soap just wants to lay his head on it. Ghost’s pecks are well sculpted and stand out just like the rest of his chest.

Ghost stops mid sentence and yells at soap, ‘you gonna share with the class or keep drooling on the floor.’

This earns a chuckle or two. Ghost smirks expecting he’s just embarrassed Soap.

The heat must’ve killed Soap’s brain and shame because, without missing a beat, he responds ‘you have huge breasts.’

The silence is deafening.

Soap quickly scrambles out of the hanger to anywhere. Hopefully he finds Price to save him, but the man could only do so much. Gaz would help him escape at least, the good man that he was. But he’d laugh at him first.

Back in the hanger, Ghost is left standing there in shock.

‘If you lot can keep him safe from me until 10:30, approximately 2 hours, I will give everyone the week off.’

Ghost had never seen so many soldiers run so fast and so in tune with each other.

But it didn’t matter.

Soap was DOOMED and they both knew it.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

ITS BEEN STARING US IN THE FACE THIS ENTIRE TIME COMRADES WE'RE FOOLS

GHOST IS THE MOTHERFUCKING HEADLESS HORSEMAN

imagine with me a monster au

Price: gargoyle. stony skin, nigh impenetrable but pieces can snap off. he lost a horn that way. during the day he's restricted mostly to the indoors or he'll turn into a statue. he has wings he most definitely has wings. he smokes because he likes the tickle of it and he despises getting wet cause it makes his joints ache and his skin swell. he eats a balanced diet, mostly birds and the occasional green thing(he prefers moss) and he needs to swallow rocks to help him digest.

Gaz: naga. I like the idea of him being a sassy little rattlesnake. he does have venom but he can control it so it's not like he's gnawing on a steak with enough punch to knock out a platoon. he does swallow prey whole, it's really fucking disconcerting, and he eats like once a week. not completely cold blooded but much below room temperature and he gets really slow. he gets crabby in the winter because nagas naturally hibernate. nagas will only bite as a last line of defense because their fangs are actually pretty fragile in comparison to most real snakes.

Soap: amalgamation(think Frankenstein's monster). he's technically undead but it's kind of confusing because he is a completely separate person than any of his parts (legislation on this is a bitch and it flip flops every election cycle). amalgamations are usually not purposely made, they can happen just about anywhere, usually in morgues, funeral homes, or graveyards(lots of them crawl out of mass graves). no one has ever seen an amalgamation naturally come together, despite hundreds of years of trying (the magic works with Toy Story rules) but they can also be purposely made(very fucking illegal and unethical). a lot of times amalgamations are pretty off-putting, most undead are, but Soap is just like the best parts of everybody crammed into one package. and he's trans cause I said so and it's thematic.

Ghost: people jokingly call him a horseman of the apocalypse but oh if only they knew. no one is quite sure what Ghost is, bets are mostly on amalgamation because of just the sheer number of scars he has when people catch a glimpse; it can look like he's literally sewn together(natural amalgamations have smooth seams, made amalgamations are usually sewn or stapled). those who know are aware that Simon Riley went missing as a human man and returned as Something Else. he was beheaded before they buried him, in a world of monsters Manuel Roba isn't going to take risks, kicked his head into the coffin with him before nailing it down and shoving it back into the earth. but now his head is gone, destroyed, ripped to bloody pulpy, bits, instead of his traitorous commanding officer, Ghost used his own jaw in his desperation to escape the grave as a newly wakened undead. everyone wants to see what's under the mask, see behind the black pits of the skull, but the ringing hollow truth is that there's nothing there. and there can't be, not anymore. he doesn't eat, but he will absorb the energy of those around him and it can affect his mood if there are strong emotions. over the years he's learned to control it, to only take a little from everyone but he can siphon all the energy out of a person (if they don't have much his power literally starts burning fat to convert it and consume it, it withers you from the inside out).

I will be writing this stay tuned

141: don’t snitch

Soap, who has never ditched before in his entire life ever: am I a snitch?

Soap: Any rules I should be aware of now that I’m a part of 141?

Gaz: Yea, don’t be a snitch

Soap: Wha-

Ghost: Don’t be a fucking snitch

Soap: … captain-

Price: Snitches get stitches, MacTavish

Unfortunately, this will require reblogs.

This is the only reality I will be accepting cause it’s both funny and something Aether would do

imagine aether not telling anyone he was retiring and the ghouls walking into the common room and there’s a new guy just making himself a cup of coffee and going through the drawers looking for a spoon.

We are playing who sucks less not who’s the best.

But welcome people from Twitter, you’ll like it here.

This site toppling the competition by opting to sell shoelaces instead of monetising their users must be one of the greatest examples of failing upwards in history