Every Man On The Radio These Days Is Telling His Crush How Beautiful She Is. Hes Crooning How Can You

Every man on the radio these days is telling his crush how beautiful she is. He’s crooning “How can you not see how beautiful you are? You capture my attention every time you step in a room, and I would do anything if I could tell you so each day.” His crush, a girl with immense physical attraction, does not know how many are captivated by her, and he takes it upon himself to gush to her about her own gorgeousness. A good sentiment, kind hearted, for how many girls out there are self-conscious about their body, hair, features? Isn’t it every girl’s dream to be noticed by a guy who looks at her as though she is his everything?   

    But what if this girl, being serenaded by every male pop star out there, was aware that she was beautiful? What if you complimented her, and she responded with “Thanks! I thought this dress looked nice too.” Would the man she’s wooed be attracted to her self-assured stride, the way she holds her chin high - or would she seem too arrogant for his ego? Would she be more appealing for her confidence, her knowledge that she is exactly where she’s meant to be, or would he loose interest because the need to shower her with appreciation is gone?   

    These are questions in our society that must be asked. Are men more attracted to weak, unsure women, or determined ones who know the only person they need are themselves? Why? Why does a woman have to conform to men’s standards of how much self-love you can have? The only person a woman needs to keep her happy and strong is herself. She does not need to have you gush through the false speakers of the radio to tell her she is beautiful. She’s not arrogant for knowing she deserves the world, she is not a “bitch” for condescendingly thanking the whistlers on the corner, she is not stuck-up for taking compliments and knowing they have a reason to be said.   

    But a girl at peace with herself is deemed unattractive by a man who wants to be emotionally dominant in a relationship. Because a girl is not supposed to know her own self worth.

Small Steps: Household Chores Edition

to produce less trash, don’t use dryer sheets (they don’t really do anything anyway)

scrape plates rather than rinsing them before you put them in the dishwasher - they’re gonna get wet anyway

sweep first, then vacuum what you couldn’t get - it saves electricity

Hey, it’s the little things - home cleaning doesn't have to be as wasteful as it could be. We sometimes think that our tiny daily habits don’t have an effect on anything else, but added up, it’s resulted in where we are today. The things you were taught in kindergarten, about littering and recycling - they wanted you to know that stuff for a reason. Preserving our planet is more important than ever, wether you care about keeping trash out of the oceans or the effects of deforestation.   

It isn’t all money and politics, though the actions of global leaders can do a lot of good - or bad. This is our world, our future, and we have a responsibility to make it a good one. Start small, and work your way up from there. Changing our habits seems daunting, but just keeping these little alternatives in mind will help you remember next time. And for a good cause, why not?

Happy Monday - I hope you’re enjoying your day off. This weekend, I was with my mom and brother up in Wells, Vermont, staying in our modest family cabin for a few nights. On Saturday night, the nearby Larson Farm hosted their annual Columbus Day weekend party, with friends and townspeople coming in for a potluck, dance, and auction. My family and I have been going up for years. 

After everyone had grabbed some dinner and apple pie, the patriarch of the farm, Rich Larson, stood up on a wagon and explained to us the premises of the auction. He’s told the same story every year as long as I can remember: Over a decade ago, a young man from Uganda had come to live with him and his family. One night at dinner, Rich was asking him about his home, and the Ugandan education system came up.Their guest explained that school in Uganda is free - however, a family would need to purchase a school uniform and basic supplies to actually be able to enroll their child. For primary school students to get the necessary goods, that’s 35 US dollars; for a secondary school student, that’s around $60; for university, it’s $100. With those steep expenses, most families were unable to send their child to school. (Those prices have gone up in the past decade. These are relevant to the story, though with my addled memory I might be getting them wrong too. Go do some additional research if you’re interested.) 

  Rich and his family wanted to do something about that. So they joined the Uganda School Project, and every year since they’ve had an auction to send the money to families and students in Uganda. Paintings, farm antiques, plants, hats - it’s all on the table, and Rich’s son does that entertaining auctioneer voice. I stood with my mom in the crowd, still not allowed to bid, but watching with excitement.  At one point, Rich’s daughter and someone else got into a bidding war over two floral watercolors - the price went up to $250 dollars before the friend at the back of the crowd won. That night, over $3,000 were raised - all to go directly to the fund. 

  Rich told us in the barn that “The way we’re going to reach world peace is if everyone in the community is self-reliant and self-sustainable, and the best way to get to that point is to provide everyone with a good education.” Everyone cheered, and that was definitely a source of motivation that evening. Even better, one of the items actioned off was actually made by a university student from Uganda - after graduating, the young man had started his own business weaving prayer rugs, and making sandals out of old tires. The best part? His $100 tuition was payed by the money raised at the auction a few years back. Rich climbed up on the wagon next to his son to tell us that we were responsible for that young man’s success. 

  When people near and far get together to help others and better their communities, what is achieved benefits everyone. Rich Larson was absolutely correct in his message about world peace - education is the single most powerful weapon that can be used to better the world. And for those of us already blessed with that tool, it’s our job to give that same gift to others - just what the Larsons and their guests have been doing for over a decade. If a single farm in a tiny Vermont town can put dozens of kids in school each year, what impact can this blog have? Or you, for that matter?

In the darkened corner of a spicy club, two people. Green skirts and navy tees. He ought to be focusing on his band members, the drums and claves and maracas and musicians with the music in their soul, pumping out a rhythm that sparks those high-up lights meant for Navidad. The noise will wake the neighbors’ kids, whose mother works long hours in a bustling sweatshop, the noise and voices holding no joy like the sunshine of the meringue band. She works hard for the children she has raised, and to keep them away from the fascination of her home in La Vibora.

The lights are bright and warm: not blinding, calm like a happy day. He can just avoid the spotlights shining on him and his friends, who practice long and play longer, drink and have fun and remember what their mothers taught them. The women on the block, the one’s too young to be raising a child or a husband, scoff and assume they will flirt. Uncertainty.

It is loud and hot and sexy, but no one feels threatened. It’s just fun, and those who know each other know. Xenophobia, like in the rest of the neighborhood, where all are foreigners in La Ciudad de Nueva York.

In the darkened corner of a spicy club, two people. He leans in, singing along to her. His cowbell sharp and sassy like the slips and flicks of her fingertips. She pays him no mind, her curls and lips and hips smiling for no one but herself. Dark chocolate shards and caramel brooks. Bubbly and laughing, taunting him. Caution, but intelligent humor.

Quick feet, flashing eyes. Wink, smirk, arched brow, blissful eyelids.

She is dancing fast beside him, her movements all her own. He will not contain her, and she will not indulge. The hard-working Mexican, her eyes bright as the muddy mangoes her father brings home to her, telling her the stories and memories of his childhood with the family’s orchards, lush before fire took them, and his family starting new and happy until fire took her, and left him with a daughter who is slipping away to a better future, that girl who is slender in a green dress, her long curls churning, her feet outpacing his self-esteem. Friendly, platonically, and he doesn’t take the blow.

Her voice clear, singing along to the rhythms, she won’t give him any satisfaction of hearing her voice compliment his cultures’ words, the sunshine of a music that others mistake for merengue, when Puerto Ricans have a culture all their own, and stereotypes are easy, especially for a young man who wanted more as a descendant of slavery, who felt trapped in a place like that, whose differences keep her wondering. Wondering like the histories of his skin that differs from the music that is like sunshine. Subtle in the darkened corner of a spicy club.

Sleeveless green like los flores, navy tee shining behind eyes like estrellas. Loving wisdom hidden by twinkling humor, shining down on simple happiness.

Xenophobia, racism, hostility, friendzone? Feminism, she dances.

Well, this blog might not get very far. 

According to recent news, Net Neutrality, the set of rules that protect our Internet rights and freedoms, is on the line. The principle that enables online freedom to publish, access, and receive any content you wish might be impacted on December 14th, 2017. If Congress votes to change the bill, millions of Americans’ safety, First Amendment rights, and access to information would be affected. 

Almost since President Trump took office, his FCC Chairman Ajit Pai has been pushing for Net Neutrality to be reconsidered on Capital Hill. Millions of Americans have spoken up, on social media and directly to our government officials, requesting that the bill stay the same. Pay has ignored these messages and insists that Net Neutrality limits innovation and economic growth. But what he’d really be doing, if he manages to get the bill off the board, would be clearing away regulations that prevent telecom giants, like Verizon or Comcast, from controlling what content users obtain. Right now, companies can’t pick what websites and services get to us faster, for censorship or economic reasons. They aren’t allowed to slow down or speed up their own content or sites to stifle a competitor. The general fear, and the reason for Net Neutrality, is that if they could, they would. Booming businesses could profit off of the violation of our constitutional rights, if Ajit Pai’s mission succeeds.   

You can say and view and do whatever you want online. All the information and opportunity on the planet is at your fingertips, because of Net Neutrality. Heck, while writing this I had to research the details of what’s actually been going down lately. How? Net Neutrality. Social media, websites, applications, databases - so much would be effected, and not for the better. A lot of people who use the Internet to make a change, marginalized communities standing up for their rights, all these people could be silenced. For money. 

We owe it to Net Neutrality, the result of millions of activists in 2015, that America is as safe, informed, and free as it is now. Hey, it’s the reason I’m able to run this blog - using my voice to talk about what I believe in, which not everyone out there can do.   

There’s still time. In just days, on December 14, the bill will be voted on. Send this to friends, contact government officials and politicians, take action now. While it isn’t too late.

The Netherlands - 2001 ~ Belgium - 2003 ~ England - 2003 ~ Wales - 2003 - Spain - 2005 ~ Canada - 2005 ~ South Africa - 2006 ~ Norway - 2008 ~ Sweden - 2009 ~ Iceland - 2010 ~ Argentina - 2010 ~ Portugal - 2010 ~ Denmark - 2012 ~ New Zealand - 2013 ~ Brazil - 2013 ~ France - 2013 ~ Uruguay - 2013 ~ Luxembourg - 2014 ~ Scotland - 2014 ~ Greenland - 2015 Finland - 2015 ~ Ireland - 2015 ~ USA - 2015 ~ Colombia - 2016 ~ Germany - 2017 ~ Malta - 2017 

A recap of which countries have legalized same-sex marriage and when. Did some of these nations surprise you in their decision? Maybe you were thinking of some of these countries as more culturally conservative - sometimes, for better or worse, politicians misrepresent their people’s real wants or interests. I know that’s true, such as the misrepresentation of Americans by our new administration - but I told myself I wouldn’t get political. 

Same-sex sexual contact is illegal in 74 countries, and many others still contain stigmas against the LGBT+ community. While progress is always being made, certain examples of homophobia divide us even more. The murders, tortures, and outings of gay men in Chechnya have continued. On October 4, the United States sided with Saudi Arabia, Egypt, China, and other countries to vote against the United Nations act to ban the death penalty for homosexuality. In Egypt, on September 26, a group of young concert-goers held up a rainbow flag to represent homosexuality. They were later charged with “public indecency” and “contempt for religion”, among other things. 

  People, these hateful and homophobic actions must stop. Homosexuality is not, and must never be, something that is scorned or punished in such brutal and horrendous ways. Stories like these are all over the news these days, and it is absolutely our job to discuss them and their causes. October is LGBT+ History Month, and as compassionate, conscientious members of society, we have to stay aware not only of dates and places, but of what the community has to say about itself and it’s members. 

  We love. We are literally being imprisoned and murdered for loving people. How dare this glorious world call itself all that it is, when such hate and ignorance are filling my feed? What must we do so our children will feel that much more comfortable to love the people they do? 

  Educate yourself. Speak up for others. Stop the hate.