Thank You Shay And @amiableness For The Tag!!

thank you shay and @amiableness for the tag!! 🫶

favourite colour: beige/brown! also soft blues and greens are cute

currently reading: before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi!!

currently watching: gilmore girls (s6 omg almost at the end 💪)

currently craving: honestly im thinking of subway double choco chip cookies rn

coffee or tea: tea! in love with chamomile these days

npt🏷️: @foodiegoogie @g1rld1ary @hunterswithcell-phones @msmk11

​༉‧₊˚.​ get to know me better !! ♡

— 𝜗𝜚 thank u @cosmiiwrites nd @queenofmistresses for the tags, my lovies <3 i love u both

favorite color? pink!! i love pink!! you know the colour of hello kitty’s bow? pink!! my melo? pink!! my socks rn? pink!! did i mention my favourite colour is pink?

last song? someday - from the zombies soundtrack (banger)

currently reading? i finished the hurricane wars by thea guanzon a few days ago so im using this as an excuse to tell you to read it n i loved it so much but im currently starting (only a chapter in) a feather so black by lyra selene

currently watching? i don’t think i am watching anything… i last watched the zombies movies though… (im not obsessed you are)

currently craving? NOODS ugh i could demolish some noodles rn

coffee or tea? yes.

@nebulacrumbs @blooming-crimson-flower @hellsgreatestslut @lilsleepybear1029 @ustulia tag you’re it <3

still here | r.l.

summary: it's your birthday :(

a/n: this is the first time i’ve ever really cried when writing something, it’s got a home in my heart now and i hope you like it!! 🫶 (also listen to our lovely girl billie while reading for added heartbreak)

tw: past suicide attempt

You lean back on the couch from where you’re bending over the table. Remus wastes no time in wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. He gently presses his lips to your forehead. “Happy birthday, lovely girl.”

“Thank you,” you mumble half-heartedly, grateful but too overwhelmed to show it. 

There’s a cut-up chocolate cake in front of you, which Remus had insisted upon baking. He’d honoured your wishes not to throw a big bash, and of not wanting an actual present. He didn’t exactly understand why — but he loved you too much to not do what you wanted him to; birthday or not.

Guilt weighs heavily on your heart; Remus has been kinder than you deserve. You decide to help him understand.

“You know,” you start softly, tilting your head to lay it on his shoulder. He hums in acknowledgement, fingertips grazing your sleeve as he starts to rub your arm. “I didn’t think I would last this long.”

The shakiness in your voice surprises even you. You feel Remus’ hand still on your arm. 

“What?” he murmurs. You can’t decipher if the slight lilt to his voice is because of sadness or confusion.

“I didn’t think I would last this long,” you repeat quietly, just to be safe, and you feel his hand coasting across your back as he gently grabs your shoulders. He turns you towards him, and you don’t wait for him to ask before you start to explain. “When I was 13, I couldn’t imagine ever making it this far. I tried to kill myself.”

Remus’ eyes widen the slightest bit as he takes in your sudden admission. His grip on your shoulders doesn’t falter; and it’s like you both know he’s the only thing holding you upright. 

When he doesn’t respond, your gaze immediately drops to the couch, shame clouding your eyes.

“I… I didn’t know that.”

The crack in his voice makes you look back up, meeting his gaze. His features are softer, sadder; somehow. There’s the slightest bit of grief in the way he’s regarding you. “Are you glad you made it this far?”

You rub your lips together, taking a shaky breath to make sure your voice comes out evenly. “Yeah,” you exhale softly. “Yeah, I am. I got to meet you.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“No,” you reply honestly. “I love my work. My friends, I really like hanging out with them. And I’d say our apartment is pretty sweet.”

The concern in Remus’ expression is still evident, his brows pinched together almost painfully. His hands bunch up the fabric on your shoulders, tugging you towards him. You’re certain the action is subconscious – he looks lost in thought, like he’s deliberating wrapping you up in his arms and never letting you go.

“Would you like more reasons?” you ask quietly, feeling your vision start to blur. You shouldn’t be surprised that he cares this much, but you are.

When he nods, your heart melts – the magma seems to be pooling in your stomach, and you feel the kind of warmth you’ve only ever been able to feel since you met him.

“Okay,” you decide to indulge him. “I like coffee when I wake up, especially when you make it. Feeding the stray dogs on the side of the road every morning. And my guitar, I like to make music on it. I think music is nice.”

You feel your throat start to clog up, the image of Remus distorting into a blurry swirl in your eyes. “It’s lovely when it rains, especially when we’re both at home, cuddling. And –”

Your voice comes out wobbly, the tears coming hard and fast now. You want to stop, but push on for his sake.

“And I really like our apartment. Did I mention that? Also, your hugs – I love the way you hug. It’s like you really love me, and —”

“I do love you,” Remus interrupts in a shaky exhale, words barely audible from the way his voice is trembling. “I love you, okay? I love you a whole lot. And I’m so glad you’re still with me.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, gently pulling you even closer towards him. You meet him in the middle, arms instinctively wrapping around his waist as he brings his hands up to encircle your shoulders.

Remus squeezes you like it’s his job to hold you together, and you hear a soft sniffle as he buries his face in your hair. 

“I’m so glad you’re still here,” he says again. Your heart clenches in your chest, in all the best ways.

“I love you,” you respond, because you both know it’s synonymous with Thank you for giving me a reason to be here.

eeee im blushing i love teacher!james and teacher!reader 🤭🤭🫶

Blossom Elementary

wc: 2.1k

tw: none! kids?

pairing: james x reader

teaching au!

°• ʚїɞ 𖦹 • °𑁍

Your summer had flown by. Last year you had applied to the new job offering they had at an elementary school. You had finally gotten all your credentials for teaching and were now able to get a job as a teacher. So you applied to as many elementary schools as you could. But your dream school to teach at was Blossom Elementary. Blossom Elementary was among the nicests elementary schools, they had a special program in their school. And while it was a well known school it wasn’t like the private charters that parents fought tooth and nail to get their kids in. But it was one that would definitely be looked at in a high honour. So naturally when you got the news that you had gotten the job you were ecstatic. The following weeks were getting the curriculum, classroom, and knowing your way around the school. As the summer progressed you worked endlessly on class plans, activities and other tasks that needed to be done before school started in the fall. Throughout your planning you saw that there was another teacher that would combine your classes together. This was new but definitely not unwelcome to you. Looking into the other teacher you managed to meet her while setting up your classroom. Her name was Mary.

°• ʚїɞ 𖦹 • °𑁍

Quickly you both began talking and became good friends. Naturally your class plans had included each other so your kids would be combined and have more time to coexist with other people. That was two months ago. Now you are standing in front of the door to your classroom, hands shaking. This was your first day. You felt your hands go numb. It wasn’t a bad feeling but certainly uncomfortable. Trying to remain calm you focused on making sure everyone’s name tags were laid out and that everyone had a seat. There were final touches and you continued to glance at everything that needed to be fixed.

In the midst of doing this your friend and coworker Mary walked in.

“Hey Y/n?” You glanced up from the calendar you were looking at and looked at him.

“Yeah?”

“Any chance that you had a chance to look at the buddy system?” Your eyes widen. You knew you forgot something. You had been so nervous for today that you had glanced over that part of your lesson plan. You see, Mary had given you a copy of how his lesson plans are made up and how they are structured for the class when they meet with their buddies. Blossom Elementary had a tendency to pair the older students with the younger students and gave them a buddy to work with. It wasn’t that you hadn’t made the lesson plan. You did, you just didn’t know who’s class you’d be going to.

“I’m taking your silence as a no. It’s okay, that’s why I’m your partner.”She smiles and walks towards you with an envelope.

“Right, What would I ever do without you?” She laughs and looks at you slightly

“Y’know you got paired up with a good one.” She comments as she places the envelope on the chair beside you. You scrunch your brow at her comment.

“Whaddya mean?” You ask rising up from your previously crouched place.

“Your buddy class. It’s with the first graders; they're so sweet. The teacher you have is okay. I love mine though! I’m thoroughly glad I don’t have him anymore!” She cheered as you opened the envelope looking at your list. You were paired with a James Potter. If Mary’s words were anything to go off you would assume he’s a nice guy, maybe a tad energetic but nice.

“Don’t worry love he’s nice! He’s just a lot of energy to deal with! Anyway I’ll see you at recess!” She left with a wave and a smile goodbye as she walked to her class across the hall. You sucked in a deep breath as you glanced over your room. This was it, your dream came true.

°• ʚїɞ 𖦹 • °𑁍

Kids began to filter into your room, a lot of them were timid and trying to find their seats and not wanting to play outside. The ones who sat in their seats opted to keep to themselves and thoroughly studied the paper that sat in front of them. You walked around the room greeting parents and children who entered your room. Everyone looked nervous to be there and you felt the same way. More students and parents began to filter in and the students found their seats. After thirty minutes it was time to begin your school year. The nerves were starting to make your skin tingle. But you kept calm as best you could, you smiled at the kids and gently closed the door enclosing you and the thirty kids in your room.

“Good morning everyone! My name is Ms. L/n and I’m your guys’ fifth grade teacher!” A few of the students muttered out a good morning while others said hello and the rest remained silent. As you reached the front of the class you scanned the way most of the eyes that met you looked. Nearly all of the kids looked exhausted. You didn’t really have anything that you needed to teach the kids today. So why not ease them into school? It’s their last year after all!

“I know you guys must be really tired and not at all excited for school huh?” You question as you sat on your desk and began logging into your computer. All of the students agreed to your comment.

“What if we watch a movie together while you guys fill out get to know me pages?” The kids cheer at your suggestion and you began looking for a appropriate movie to play. After some time you finally found a good movie to play, Minions. And much to the kids delight they enjoyed your choice. Happily and cheerfully they began to work on their worksheet filling out the various questions about themselves. Within thirty minutes they had all finished their work. You had seen that they were done and paused the movie.

“Okay raise your hand if you finished the worksheet?” Everyone’s hands flew up.

“Wonderful! Now we’re going to go around in the groups and you’re going to introduce yourself to me ok! And to make it a little less intimidating you can introduce yourself as a minion first.” Most of the kids laughed and they began sitting up waiting for you to pick on a group to start.

“Um okay, how about group four?” All the kids frantically looked at their tables fearing the worst. The other seven tables let out a small sigh as the one in the furthest corner fell silent. A small boy with curly brown hair cleared his throat as he prepared to answer. He stood up and began introducing himself,

“Bello! Kevin!” The class erupted in laughter and it took a moment to quiet down enough for the boy to continue,

“Hi! My name is Haiden, I’m nine years old, I play football and I have a little sister who is in first grade!” He smiled and sat down as most kids said hi to him and clapped as he sat down. The next person who spoke

was a girl who had blonde hair that was put into plaited braids.

“Um, my favourite character isn’t a minion but it’s Dr. Nefario.” A few gasps and giggles were heard. “My name is Aria, I’m nine, I have two dogs and I do gymnastics.” Aria sat down quickly. The other two kids from their group introduce themselves, their names being Jillian and Keith. You called upon another group and began learning more about the kids. You had come to find that most of these children played a sport of some sort. You were down to your last table. Table six.

“Alright dear and who’s your favourite?” You asked a girl who had gorgeous red curls.

“My favourite is Margo!”

“My name is Margaret, I’m ten! I have a cat and I play football. I have a little sister who is also in first grade. And my aunt who teaches here!” She smiled and sat back down. The boy next to her had black hair and he stood up quickly.

“Hi, my favourite is King Bob.”

“My name is Julian. I’m ten, I like to run. I play basketball and I have an older brother.” He sat down and the last two kids looked at each other hoping the other would speak up first.

“I like Ron.” The boy who had sandy hair spoke.

“My name is also Ron, I’m nine. I like to draw, and I play rugby.” He added as he sat down next to the timid looking girl. She had brown hair and a pair of pink circle glasses. She slowly rose from her desk and spoke,

“M’favourite is Agnes.”

“And my name is Eloise, I have two little brothers. I own a cat and I do ballet.” She sat down and looked straight at her hands. The class clapped for her and you smiled looking at your clock hung above the wall. It wasn’t quite time for their recess and you needed to ask Mary a question. So you opted to continue to have them watch Minions. They quietly watched the film as you poked your head into the class next door.

“Ms. Macdonald?”Mary looked up and smiled at you as she placed her pen down as she stood and walked towards you.

“Is everything alright Ms. L/n?” She asked in a hushed tone. You nod and smile at her concern.

“Yes! I just wanted to ask you a question, when do we meet with our little buddies? Like is there a special thing for that or is it when either party is available?” Mary laughed softly as she glanced at her watch.

“I laugh because I was supposed to take the kids to meet their littles! So why doesn’t your class come along? I’ll ring Potter and tell him his big buddies are coming.” You smile and go to tell your kids about the plan.

“Okay everyone! So all of you have been going to Blossom for more than this year right?” You make sure to see everyone nodding their head in agreement. Thankfully everyone had been attending Blossom prior to this year which made explaining where you were taking them much easier.

“Great! So you all know how we have little buddies? Well we’re going to go meet them!” They mostly cheered and began cleaning their desk and quickly lining up. Once they all resemble a line you open your door to see Mary and her class parallel to your door.

“Class this is Ms. Macdonald please say hi.” They all said their hello to Mary and her kids.

“Hi guys! My kids say hi to Ms. L/n! She’s the other grade five teacher!” Her kids all greet you and you smile giving them a smile and wave. Once the greetings were made you and Mary made your ways to the front of the line.

“So did James take it well that we’re coming?” You whisper to Mary. She giggled as you all turn a corner.

“I think he took it better than well. He nearly teleported himself to our pod.” You let out a small laugh. Mary smiled at you and bumped you gently.

“I told you that you had nothing to worry about.” You nod and take another turn with her noticing that you had seemingly arrived at where you needed to be.

“This is your class, mine is right down the hall! We have about forty minutes before we need to head back so the littles can have lunch.” You nod and wave at her as she leads her kids to the class down the hall. You look at your line of kids and knock on the door. You weren’t sure what you were expecting. You waited a few seconds and the door opened. The door revealed a tall man. He was gorgeous. He had beautiful eyes and curly brown hair and he had circled glasses that fit him gorgeously. Sucking in a sharp breath you continue to stare at him.

“Hi! I’m Mr. Potter! You must be my big buddies!” He cheered as he slightly ushered in your kids. You blink and move out the way to have your kids enter his room.

“Um yes! I’m your- I’m Ms. L/n!” You smile as you enter the room with James as your heart rate rises. He was gorgeous, how were you supposed to come and co-teach with him without feeling like a schoolgirl each time? Dear God what did you get yourself into?

°• ʚїɞ 𖦹 • °𑁍

please feel free to like comment and reblog!! it makes me really happy to see them!

<3

lily

aaaaah thank you lily my love 🥹🫶 and thank you for talking me into posting it!!

stars & spaghetti | r.b.

a/n: here i go again, not taking a break 😭 i swear i just needed to write this! thank you @lovemenotts for encouraging me to post it 🫶 i love you lily

tw: eating disorder recovery

Regulus knows where to find you, but he also knows better than to act like he was looking for you with two bowls of food in hand.

“Hey.”

You almost jump at the sound of his voice. You turn around from where you’re sitting on the porch, giving him a small smile. “Hi.”

His heart drops a little when he sees your face, with your sunken eyes and tired expression.

“I didn’t realize you were home already. Did you come through the back?”

He hums an affirmative, sitting down next to you on the steps leading out the house.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches as you slouch onto the railing on your left, blankly staring out at the road. “How’s your day been?”

Regulus casually twirls his fork into the spaghetti in his bowl before bringing it to his mouth. Maybe he believes he’s being slick, you think, but it’s obvious that he’s got twice his usual serving.

“Today’s been fine, yeah. Just busy. How was work?”

He nods in response, “Good, actually. Mark finally sent me the files I needed to get that huge contract signed, and —” He presses his fork into the pasta again, but this time brings it up to your mouth (hoping you’re too distracted to mind).

His heart drops and how instantly you swerve backwards, almost crashing into the step behind you.

“Reg,” it comes out as a betrayed hiss. You take a shaky exhale before sitting back upright. “I don’t want any; I’ve eaten dinner already.”

“Have you?”

“Yes, I —“

“Then why’s the kitchen completely clean?”

Regulus never takes a harsh tone with you, and he wasn’t going to start now. There’s nothing but quiet, genuine concern in the way he asks. Guilt claws at the back of your throat anyway.

It was one of your worse days; thoughts of excessive calories and not having worked out being all you could think about. You’d stared at yourself in the mirror for what seemed like hours, cursing every flaw of your body and wondering why me.

Without your boyfriend home, it had just felt like there was no reason to fatten yourself.

“Hey,” Regulus mutters, laying his palm facing upwards on your lap. You take it. “You’re getting in your head again.”

“Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, lovely girl.” He reaches out to gently brush a stray hair away from your face. “But do you think you could try to eat something? Please?”

Your heart stops, and it’s like your mind is reeling back into its hiding spot already. No lies on the tip of your tongue.

“It doesn’t have to be a lot, dove, he continues quietly, rubbing your fingers. “Just a few bites. You need fuel, you know.”

Regulus is looking into your eyes with that silent look now, the one which makes you feel like he’d do just about anything to save you from yourself. You don’t think you could ever say no to him.

And it wasn’t like you’d eaten anything today. You were allowed this, for your boyfriend, right?

“Fine.”

He smiles softy and tugs you closer, stamping a kiss to the side of your forehead and picking up the bowl of pasta from beside him. “So, remember that bouquet I bought you last week?”

He starts to make casual conversation as he feeds you, and you do your best to listen. It goes all the way from those flowers were expensive! to maybe we should get a cat — or a new apartment — but NOT a dog.

The food gets lodged in your throat every now and then, but you force yourself to swallow. The ‘full’ feeling starts to creep up on you like your shadow.

Regulus can sense it. “Okay, but why the hell do you like dogs?”

You decide to indulge him and go off on a tangent about the fluffy beasts, which pulls your mind away from its dark corner. The conversation makes the chore of eating easier.

You’re sure he knows what he’s doing, but you’re going to let him anyway.

Before you know it, you’re laughing so hard you don’t even realize the bowl is empty. He stands up to put it away before you get the chance to think too hard about it.

Regulus sits back down next to you. He starts to tell you about the stars, then, and you listen intently. It’s late, but you wouldn’t know what time it is. Time didn’t exist in your little bubble.

At one point you’ve curled into him the furthest you can. Your eyelids are being pulled down by the weight of fatigue, his comforting presence lulling you closer towards sleep.

He thinks you don’t hear it when he murmurs a soft I’m proud of you. You do.

yesyesyesyesyes

hey hahaha if anyone was interested in seeing the finished product here u go 😁

AWWEEE lily this is adorable 🥹🥹 and i love sirius and rem as sidekicks haha <3

Afterglow

wc: 2.6k

tw: anxiety & fight

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It was bad. This was the worst thing that has happened between you and Lily, for the most part the two of you were fairly good at communicating, and expressing your wants and needs with one another. But this time, this time it was different. This time there was an underlying fear in your stomach. Neither one of you knew how it got to this point you had been fine before this so what caused this what pushed you over the edge? None of it made sense, not to Lily. She didn’t understand why you were pushing her away. But to you it was making perfect sense. It made sense why you were pulling away, it made sense as to why you were pulling away from her. But to Lily this was a punch in the gut to see you pull away. And if that’s what you wanted she supposed that’s what she would give you.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It hadn’t been more than two hours when you already needed to find your friend. You had to find her before you flung off a wall with how anxious you felt. You and Lily had a fight and it was a bad one and it was your fault. So right now you need to find Elina. Most times when anything felt overwhelming you ran to her for help. She is one of the kindest and most supportive girls you’ve become friends with during your time at Hogwarts so you appreciated having her and being able to talk to her. Frantically you nearly ran into her in your state. Worried she held your arms making sure you were okay.

“Y/n?” She questioned. She didn’t know what was wrong other than you being anxious but she knew you were going to say why. Carefully she ushered you to a quiet bench and you looked at her nearly in tears with everything that had just happened. It was tearing you up inside thinking you may have lost Lily for good and

“ I started pushing her away because I feel like I’m not enough and that I don’t give her what she deserves. Lina she literally could have James freaking Potter as her boyfriend and you expect me to believe that she willingly chose me? You want me to fully believe that I was the woman of her desires and not Mary? Not Maralene? I know she says that she loves me and wouldn’t dare think about cheating on me or even looking at someone else but what if-“ Elina cut you off before you could hurt yourself even more. Elina, much like the entire population of Hogwarts knew how madly in love Lily Evans was for you. You were her entire world. So hearing you speak so many lies about Lily possibly leaving was hard for her to fathom.

“Ok! I’m stopping you right there. Do you want to hear the advice or the truth? Either works for me.” She said as she carefully watched you weigh your options. Elina was never one to push you into a bad decision but she would always tell you the truth and not force any advice on you if you didn’t think it was a good piece of advice. So naturally, you wanted to hear the advice that she had for you.

“Babe, Lily is head over heels in love with you and she has been for quite some time now, the fact that you’re having these thoughts are honestly normal because you’re always overthinking. And not that it’s a bad thing, it's just time for you to understand that you don’t need to listen to those thoughts. The truth of the matter is that in order to solve this feeling that you’re not enough for Lily. Babe what you’re feeling is imposter syndrome and my darling you are enough. Lily thinks the world of you and would do anything for you which is why I think she’s given you space. Apart from the fact that I think you may have upset her but for the most part I think she’s giving you what you want.” She said everything in such a way that you really had no reason not to believe her. But the knot in your stomach remained. Why did you have to break what you love? While you knew this was your fault you didn’t think it would have gone this far. It was on your face how guilty you felt, it was now just a matter of whether or not Lily would hear you out for it or not. Truthfully you think that’s what was making the knot worse.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Unbeknownst to you, Lily was currently sat with Remus and Sirius talking about how she was concerned for you. She knew that Remus would calm her nerves and Sirius would understand her woes. Both of them understood how to help. Either with insight on how you were currently feeling or with how she was currently feeling. No matter what both of the boys knew how to approach this.

“Lily?” Remus was the first to speak. He understood better than anyone what it was like to be an overthinker. He also knew what it was like to have a partner that you push away because of how you see yourself. He couldn’t comfort her telling her he understood how she felt, no he wasn’t the one being pushed away. He was the one pushing, he knew what you were going through so he knew what to tell her but even if he did tell her why you pushed Lily away after so long, he knew it wouldn’t matter. Because when he did it to Sirius he knew that nothing anyone told him made him feel better. If anything it made Sirius feel worse as if he was encouraging Remus to leave.

“Hm?” She looked up but she wasn’t there. She missed you, she didn’t understand why you pushed her away nor did she understand why you were pushing her away. She knew that you loved her and wanted to be in a relationship with her but she didn;t understand why you were pushing her away. She didn’t understand why it was anything that caused you two to fight. And the biggest thing that didn’t make any sense to her was why you believed that she deserves someone better? She didn’t want anyone else, she wanted you. Why didn’t you believe that? Has she done something to make you think otherwise? She didn’t think she did.

“Lily Evans!” Sirius shouted. It effectively called her out of her state of duress. But it didn’t help with how she was feeling. Glancing at Sirius she raised her brow slightly prompting him to talk.

“What’s going on in your head, red?” He knew it would bother her but she couldn’t be bothered to care now about stupid nicknames that Sirius held for her. Right now what mattered was making sure that you were okay and that the two of you were okay. Anything else was just a bonus.

“Why does she think she isn’t enough?” It was weird to hear Lily's words come out. Lily, who never was at a loss of words or quip remarks, was now sounding so meek. She sounded so scared and concerned about how this may affect the two of you. But she sounded so far away. She was so lost in thought that it didn’t even make sense in her head to actually have this happening. Why was this happening? How could she fix it?

“Lily? If I may, coming from her perspective, she didn’t mean to hurt you. She is just thinking that she’s protecting you. She doesn’t think that it's hurting you, she thinks that her echo chamber is correct and that you hate her. She’s doing this as an attempt to save herself but it's also affecting you.

“But I don’t want anyone better than her, there is no one better than her! She is my everything Remus and I’m not sorry for that! I am sorry that she doesn’t believe me when I tell her. Remus there is quite literally nothing that can be said to me in order for me to not march to her dorm and tell her that there is no one else I’d rather be with!” Silence overtook the trio. It was difficult to hear this from their friend, and it was even worse to have to hear her come to terms with what was happening but both of them understood how she was feeling and why it was eating away at her.

“Lily,” Sirius tried, but failed. Lily began crying and fell into Remus’ arms. Her sobs made both the boys’ hearts skin. They hated seeing here like this and they hated even more knowing that you were probably doing the same. Silently they watched as there was nothing else they could do than offer their company and comfort.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

It was nearly a week since you and Lily had gotten into that argument. It made your stomach churn to the point where food didn’t seem appealing any longer. This was now affecting both of you terribly, Lily felt lost and you felt like you were grieving and like you couldn’t come back from this. This was the worst that you have ever felt as if you could vomit at any given moment. Your stomach was constantly hurting and it was terrible. It wasn’t anything you ever wished on anyone. Much less Lily. But this was getting harder to watch.

”Y/n?” It was Sirius. He wasn’t looking particularly angry, disturbed maybe, but he looked like he always did. You look at him and you knew he was planning something but you didn’t pay mind to it.

”Hm?” Your response mirrored Lily’s. She had been responding in hums and nods. She barley spoke anymore. And if she did it was brief and never about you. It felt wrong.

“I need to show you something.” Not leaving much room for you to argue he grabbed your arm and led you to an abandoned classroom where Lily and Remus were. You were quick to turn on your heel and try to make a run for it. But there stood Sirius and held you back before you could actually run off. He needed both you and Lily to talk it out and he knew neither one of you would actually do it. So he had to force you with the help of his ever so loving boyfriend.

“Sirius, let me go.” You grit out struggling in his grasp. He didn’t respond but went to turn you when Lily spoke.

“Sirius. Let her go.” She spoke in a firm voice for the first time since the fight. It scared you. Sirius listened and let you go instantly. She looked at you for a moment then at Remus and finally spoke again, “Let her leave.” Not saying another word she turned to Remus and her back was to you. Your heart plummeted. You fucked up.

Sirius opened the door and walked you out. As you watched the door close the tears you had been fighting finally made their way to your cheeks. Sirius pulled you into a hug as you sobbed. He knew that his boyfriend was currently hugging their shared redhead friend. Soothingly he rubbed your back and stroked your hair like he had with Remus. He knew what Lily was feeling but he now understood what you were feeling and why you felt so anxious. He wasn’t cross with you for trusting your anxieties. You’re only human, you can only fight them for so long.

“Darling you have to tell her that you don’t actually want to break up. She’s over there thinking that’s what you wanted.” Sirius’ attempt to try and get you to understand the gravity was making you feel dizzy. You knew that you had to tell Lily that this was your fault, you needed to hear her say that she still loved you and that you were hers. You maybe even needed to hear that this wasn’t your fault but your anxieties.

“I will.” And you stuck to your promise, or you were going to. You went to the market a short time after and bought Lily her favourite flowers. There were blues, pinks and white littered in the bouquet and you even picked out the new book that she had been looking at when you and her went on the last date you two had. Gathering everything, you shakily made your way back to her dorm. Your hands were shaking as you knocked at the entrance. Some fourth year let you in and you nervously walked to her dorm. The walk that once felt comforting now made your knees tremble in fear. You felt like you were going to be sick, but you went to her door.

And you knocked three times before standing and waiting for her to open the door.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You weren’t waiting for longer than two seconds when the door flung open. A very disheveled looking Lily answered the door. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, she was wearing your favourite jumper. She had on a pair of your pajama pants on as well. Her eyes looked bloodshot. In that moment you felt terrible guilt at seeing her state. You were the root of this. The strong confident Lily you were used to was no longer standing in front of you. A much more sensitive and fragile version stood in front of you and you felt sick.

“Hi.” You mutter and she waves. She was leaning on the doorframe and she looked so depressingly sad it made you want to hug her and kiss away her tears.

“Can I come in?” She moves and lets you enter. You take notice that none of her roommates are here. Great. Shakily you turn to look at her as she closes the door.

“Lily, I'm sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault and I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I’m not the one you want-“ She cut you off before you could even finish.

”You are the one I want. You are all I want even when you break my heart and lose your mind. I’m still yours and we will be just fine, love.” When those words left her mouth it was so revealing. While these were things that your friends had told you, it didn’t mean much for them to say it. But when Lily told you? It meant the world. Overwhelmed with emotions you fling yourself on her. Both of you were now crying and sharing the fact that you both had endured so much to get to this point. It meant so much to you that Lily had said those words. Looking up at her in teary eyes you say,

“I’m sorry that I hurt you and I don’t want to lose this with you.” She looked at you and smiled. She leaned in just centimeters away from your face when she smiled at you,

“You never will.” And she sealed her promise with a kiss. You melted into it and relished in having your girlfriend back. Pulling away she took notice of how full your hands were.

“Oh, I brought you flowers. And that book that you wanted last time we went out. I thought maybe we could read it together?” Lily’s smile infected yours as she took the flowers, placing them on her trunk. She grabbed your waist and pulled you to her bed. The two of you now lay in each other's embrace and read the book Lily had suggested and were content. Even when you had your bad days you knew that Lily would always be there. Lily was always at your side, she was your afterglow.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

if you liked it please comment, it makes me so happy when i see them!

<3

lily