Stopp Youre Gonna Have Me Sobbing Now!! Thank You So Much Lily

stopp you’re gonna have me sobbing now!! thank you so much lily 😭😭

still here | r.l.

summary: it's your birthday :(

a/n: this is the first time i’ve ever really cried when writing something, it’s got a home in my heart now and i hope you like it!! 🫶 (also listen to our lovely girl billie while reading for added heartbreak)

tw: past suicide attempt

You lean back on the couch from where you’re bending over the table. Remus wastes no time in wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. He gently presses his lips to your forehead. “Happy birthday, lovely girl.”

“Thank you,” you mumble half-heartedly, grateful but too overwhelmed to show it. 

There’s a cut-up chocolate cake in front of you, which Remus had insisted upon baking. He’d honoured your wishes not to throw a big bash, and of not wanting an actual present. He didn’t exactly understand why — but he loved you too much to not do what you wanted him to; birthday or not.

Guilt weighs heavily on your heart; Remus has been kinder than you deserve. You decide to help him understand.

“You know,” you start softly, tilting your head to lay it on his shoulder. He hums in acknowledgement, fingertips grazing your sleeve as he starts to rub your arm. “I didn’t think I would last this long.”

The shakiness in your voice surprises even you. You feel Remus’ hand still on your arm. 

“What?” he murmurs. You can’t decipher if the slight lilt to his voice is because of sadness or confusion.

“I didn’t think I would last this long,” you repeat quietly, just to be safe, and you feel his hand coasting across your back as he gently grabs your shoulders. He turns you towards him, and you don’t wait for him to ask before you start to explain. “When I was 13, I couldn’t imagine ever making it this far. I tried to kill myself.”

Remus’ eyes widen the slightest bit as he takes in your sudden admission. His grip on your shoulders doesn’t falter; and it’s like you both know he’s the only thing holding you upright. 

When he doesn’t respond, your gaze immediately drops to the couch, shame clouding your eyes.

“I… I didn’t know that.”

The crack in his voice makes you look back up, meeting his gaze. His features are softer, sadder; somehow. There’s the slightest bit of grief in the way he’s regarding you. “Are you glad you made it this far?”

You rub your lips together, taking a shaky breath to make sure your voice comes out evenly. “Yeah,” you exhale softly. “Yeah, I am. I got to meet you.”

“Is that the only reason?”

“No,” you reply honestly. “I love my work. My friends, I really like hanging out with them. And I’d say our apartment is pretty sweet.”

The concern in Remus’ expression is still evident, his brows pinched together almost painfully. His hands bunch up the fabric on your shoulders, tugging you towards him. You’re certain the action is subconscious – he looks lost in thought, like he’s deliberating wrapping you up in his arms and never letting you go.

“Would you like more reasons?” you ask quietly, feeling your vision start to blur. You shouldn’t be surprised that he cares this much, but you are.

When he nods, your heart melts – the magma seems to be pooling in your stomach, and you feel the kind of warmth you’ve only ever been able to feel since you met him.

“Okay,” you decide to indulge him. “I like coffee when I wake up, especially when you make it. Feeding the stray dogs on the side of the road every morning. And my guitar, I like to make music on it. I think music is nice.”

You feel your throat start to clog up, the image of Remus distorting into a blurry swirl in your eyes. “It’s lovely when it rains, especially when we’re both at home, cuddling. And –”

Your voice comes out wobbly, the tears coming hard and fast now. You want to stop, but push on for his sake.

“And I really like our apartment. Did I mention that? Also, your hugs – I love the way you hug. It’s like you really love me, and —”

“I do love you,” Remus interrupts in a shaky exhale, words barely audible from the way his voice is trembling. “I love you, okay? I love you a whole lot. And I’m so glad you’re still with me.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, gently pulling you even closer towards him. You meet him in the middle, arms instinctively wrapping around his waist as he brings his hands up to encircle your shoulders.

Remus squeezes you like it’s his job to hold you together, and you hear a soft sniffle as he buries his face in your hair. 

“I’m so glad you’re still here,” he says again. Your heart clenches in your chest, in all the best ways.

“I love you,” you respond, because you both know it’s synonymous with Thank you for giving me a reason to be here.

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

aww thank you so much for this!! im gonna do 3 people i care about (but a few of my mutuals edition)!

@we-were-born-to-be-free — pri was the first friend i made here on tumblr when i first joined a couple months ago🫶 she is so nice and made me feel like i had a place on this app!

@moonpascal — brooke is genuinely the sweetest ever! she’s really like an older sister and i love talking to her about anything and everything 🤎

@jupiterssaid — one of my best friends irl! when i told her i started writing she got tumblr just to read my stuff can you believe that?? my fav ever mwah 😋💗

on that note i love all my mutuals so much i’m giving you a big fat kiss on the cheek!!

AAAAH thank you lily im so glad you liked it!!! <3

okay | r.l.

a/n: for my academically burnt out girlies (can you tell i’m one of them😭)

tw: fluff

remus lupin x reader

Remus quietly padded down into the common room, unsurprised to find you seated at the table with parchments and books scattered around you.

There was a puddle of drool spreading from where your face rested against a book, fast asleep. Remus internally winced; there was no way that was a comfortable position for your neck.

He gently brushes the tips of his fingers against your hairline and you immediately jolt awake, almost knocking his arm in the process.

You raise your hands to rub your eyes with slowed movements, the exhaustion lining your features painfully obvious. You turn to him, befuddled, before realising who it is and softening.

You looked adorable, mussed up hair and wide-eyed. It had Remus thinking about how it would feel to wake up to the sight for the rest of his life. “How long have you been up for, dove?”

He flattens his palms onto your shoulder blades, needling pressure into the tense muscles with his thumbs. You melt under his touch, your shoulders slumping. “Not very long,” you lie.

“It’s 4am, baby. You’ve been studying all night, haven’t you?”

You draw your bottom lip between your teeth, letting out a soft sigh. “Yeah… I guess. But I have to, there’s still three more chapters I’m not done revising. I just need more coffee.”

“The last thing you need right now,” Remus mutters as he lets go of your shoulders and lowers himself into a chair beside you, “is coffee. You need to get some rest, sweetheart. You’re not gonna be able to remember anything when you’re this tired.”

He uses his foot to push your chair around till you’re facing him. You reach for him immediately, sleepy movements causing you to lay your arms, bundled up, in his lap. Bemusedly, he takes your hands and starts to rub circles into your wrists.

“But I’m not tired,” you argue, though your eyelids look like they’re physically weighing you down. You’re blinking so forcefully Remus thinks it would generate enough energy to power a light bulb. “I just took a power nap and I’m good now.”

“That’s not enough, dove. It’s late, and you’re gonna be fucked up tomorrow. You need proper rest.”

“Do I?”

“You do.”

Your face is lovably scrunched up now, and Remus can’t tell if you’re trying to challenge him or if your brain really is that fuzzy.

He moves to gather your materials and you make a small noise of protest, dazedly shaking your head. “I can’t rest now, I need to finish studying first.”

You seem hardly able to track his movements, eyelids drooping shut every few seconds. “You can study tomorrow, sweetheart. You’ve studied enough for tonight.”

You huff, stubbornly staying put in your chair. Remus rises to his feet, tucking the stack of books in one arm before firmly pulling you up with the other. You stay silent, obviously annoyed but too exhausted to fight back.

He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side as he leads you up the staircase to his dorm. The anxiety in your features is palpable, and he feels bad for worsening it. But he knows you, he knows you would never feel like you’ve studied enough. You’d work yourself to the bone if you had it your way, so it was up to him to make sure you didn’t.

“You look exhausted, baby,” he murmurs as he bends down to press a kiss to your forehead. You visibly soften, your expression morphing into one less rigid. “I am exhausted.”

“I know,” he concedes, pushing you onto the bed until you’re properly laying down. “You’re gonna do better with rest, trust me. You’re gonna be okay.”

You hum weakly in response, eyes fluttering shut as soon as your head hits the pillow. Even in your dazed state, your arms extend towards him.

Remus lets out a soft chuckle and climbs into the bed next to you, pulling the covers over the both of you.

You shuffle towards him, seeking his warmth. He wraps an arm around your middle and tugs till you’re snugly pressed up against each other, pecking a kiss to the soft skin beneath your eye. “I meant what I said, alright? Don’t worry about the test. You’re gonna be okay.”

“Okay,” you whisper, and he feels that last bit of uncertainty you had melt away as you deflate. Your words come out muffled as you move impossibly closer, snuggling your face into his chest. “Okay. G’night.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

this is the most adorable thing ever😭😭 pls i need them to cuddle me when i’m sick

Hey girl!

I just saw that you’re looking for Marauders requests so I thought I’d send one through! Maybe a poly! Marauders x reader where she is hurt or sick and the boys take care of her?

Hope you’re doing well 🥰

i hope you enjoy <33

poly!marauders x fem!reader, fluff - modern au

"where's she?" james asks in a hurry sirius doesn't understand.

"what-"

a sound of water comes from the bathroom and james rushes to the door. he knocks gently to not startle you. "sweetheart?"

"i'm okay." you say.

"i'm waiting here, take your time."

sirius comes next to him after leaving his jacket and phone on the couch. "what's happening?" he asks. "why are you guarding the door?"

james gives him a slow kiss to calm down any worry. it works very well. "she feels a bit sick." he explains. "she didn't want me to call you, thought you'd be worried and try to leave work early."

you open the bathroom door slowly. the first thing you see is sirius's huge eyes. "hey, baby." you say with a sick but soft voice. "how was your day?"

he reaches for your hand to inspect you. you seem tired- your eyes half closed and your voice coming out low. "my angel." he squeezes your fingers. "what happened to you?"

his tone is always dramatic, you give him a smile. "i'm fine." you say. "i just feel tired. my throat hurts. it might be 'cause of weather."

"take her to the couch, pads." james says with a fond smile. "i'll make us some tea."

"we should call remus." sirius says as he holds your hand on the short way to the couch.

"i'm okay." you insist. "he's working, he'll be worried if you tell him i'm sick."

sirius fixes your hair, he kneels in front of your place on couch. "you are sick." he says with a slow tease. "i don't know if you notice."

"i refuse to admit i'm sick." you tell him.

sirius has cuteness aggression. it has always been the case, and now he gets to take in the way you look. so soft and pretty without any make up on, your quiet voice and teary eyes, you look at him like you want him to hold you and he wants to drown you in his affection. he doesn't care if what you have is contagious.

"we can call remus." you say after a long minute of thinking. "i miss him."

your boyfriend smiles, he nods before leaving you to james's care. here he is with two cups of herbal tea you like drinking. he enjoys it too, but he knows sirius prefers coffee. when james is in charge of kitchen, everyone can drink their favorites. he already prepared the coffee.

"he's calling remus, right?" james settles down next to you. "you don't have fever, how's your head? are you hurting anywhere?"

you lean back against the pillows. "i feel tired. my head feels like it's full of cottons."

james rubs a big hand on your arm. you are grateful for the smell of tea and your boyfriend's warmth. careful with the mug in your hand, you settle down next to james, he accepts you into his chest.

"we can get you some painkillers after you finish your tea." he says. "you'll feel better when you get some good sleep."

you nod, taking a sip from your cup. sirius comes back with his coffee, he sits down next to james. "moony will be here soon. he also promised getting all of us soup, so we're free of cooking tonight."

james makes a sweet sound, he kisses your head. you take another sip. it's not like your throat's burning or hurting too much, but it feels sore. you don't want your sickness to grow into something more. closing your eyes, you give your tea cup to james. your head feels mushy like you can't form a single thought.

you don't know how much time passed but when you open your eyes, you're on someone's chest. more like someone who smells amazing and has big hands. you put your sleepy face on his neck, he gives you a few kisses on your head in response.

"remus?"

"hey." remus whispers. "hi, sweetheart. do you feel better?"

you hum, words are hard to form with your dry throat. "when did you get back?"

"almost an hour ago. you were sleeping. i wanted to stay with you in case you wake up."

"james and sirius were here."

"they are heating up the soup." remus says. "we can stay here a bit longer if you want."

you nod against his chest. he's warm and more cuddly than ever. he kisses your face, his lips make lovely paths on the side of your head. "hold me." you say, softly. you're always more hungry for touch when you feel poorly. "closer."

remus wraps his arms around you to pull you impossibly close. his lips stay pressed on your hair for a long minute. you feel so tired like you can sleep for an eternity. he rubs your back and you melt easy, go lax in his arms.

james comes into living room a few minutes later. he accepts a kiss from remus before checking you. "you must be hungry." he says to both of you. "soup is ready."

it takes a great amount of energy to leave your comfy spot to go to kitchen. james offers to bring your soup here but you want to sit at the table with them, to not let the sickness take over. he also offers to carry you and you refuse with a smile. he doesn't let go of your hand, though, helps you sit on your chair.

sirius places a bowl of steamy soup in front of you with a kiss on your head after. "enjoy, pretty girl." he says, settles down on his seat.

you eat your soup silently, feeling their gaze on your face. "don't look at me like that." you say, three pairs of worried eyes looking elsewhere immediately. "i'm fine, i promise. i'll be better when i sleep."

"well, of course you will." sirius says. "we wouldn't let our girl drown in sickness, would we?"

being taken care of is the nicest thing, you realize as you feel remus rubbing your thigh under the table. you're used to take care of yourself and you wouldn't let yourself be so vulnerable if they were other people, but no. the boys have different ways of showing their love, the common ground being you feeling how much they love you through everything they do. you feel better, thinking all these as you take your last sip from your soup.

"it was delicious." you say. "thank you, baby." the baby's directed at remus for getting the soup but you kiss james's cheek after that and give sirius a nice smile across the table.

"you're ready to go to bed then." james says. "i'll get you some painkillers."

the bed feels softer than ever under your body when you finally settle down. james leaves for kitchen to help his boyfriends clean up after he gives you pills and water. he promises they'll be with you shortly.

you feel the bed moving after a while, your eyes already closed on their own. you don't try to resist your sleep, snuggling into james's chest as he gets next to you.

remus and sirius are in their own bubble, chatting softly under the blankets. remus holds your hand, his other arm wrapped around sirius. james rubs your back and he makes wonders, you're asleep in a second.

good morning. I’m screaming at u btw with this 🥰❤️

HAHAHAHAHAH AWEE good morning rese!!! i love you MORE 😋🫶

yesyesyesyesyes

hey hahaha if anyone was interested in seeing the finished product here u go 😁