
25 y/o - simp for levi & suguru mainly 18+ blog thx
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More Posts from Sugurusdiscordmoderator
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Just thinkin’ bout dad Saturo vs dad Toji ya know





the way that Suguru is always reflected in Satoru's eyes, I am not okay... ಥ‿ಥ
also the HI opening/Ao no Sumika:




we know that in the first episode, it shows Utahime and Mei Mei getting trapped in a house that has turned into an endless labyrinth, where the corridor keeps repeating itself no matter how far you go
I may be thinking too much into it, but I really believe they're using that endless corridor here in the OP to symbolize that whenever he falls asleep, Satoru keeps recalling the moment Suguru's back is leaving him over and over again like that recurring labyrinth _(:'3 JL)

We Can Switch Off
CHAPTER SUMMARY : yuuji is officially leaving for his three month long trip, and two of your acquiantances fight over who gets to take care of you in his absence
WARNINGS : 18+, long distance relationship, slight intimidation and name calling, relationship pressure, family difficulties.
WORDS : 4.7k
notes : the only consistency on this blog is how inconsistent i am with posting wusyaname LMAO
LAST CHAPTER┊MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER
This is it. Today’s the day.
He’s leaving you.
You've been bawling since you woke up. You feel guilty, you do, because you want to be strong for Yuuji. But you can't. Three months without him is going to be near impossible, he’s your everything, after all.
It's hard for him, too. He doesn’t want to cry and make it a million times worse; but he's hanging on by a skinny and frayed thread.
Watching him load his luggage into Gojo's car made your tears flow at an accelerated pace.
Yuuji sat in the backseat with you rather that in the passenger seat with Gojo, and it made your heart wrench all the more. Trying to let him go in the airport is the hardest thing you've ever had to do.
He's just as devastated as you are.
And he hates that he has to leave you because of his fucking scholarship. There’s one thing he knows for sure…
He’ll never forgive himself if Fushiguro does something while he’s away.
You sit up front with Gojo as he drives you back home. He’s sweet, you think, although you’ve heard he has an irritating cocky side to him at times; he’s being sweet for the time being. He doesn’t mind that you’re still sniffling.
Yuuji is gone… He’s officially gone.
Silent tears have replaced your inconsolable blubbering. You know you’ll see him soon, but for now, it hurts. You feel like you’re dying. But that’s just it, it’s how you feel. And right now, in this moment, your brain can do nothing but replay the way he held you close before leaving. The few singular tears that you felt seep into your hair. The endless forehead kisses and the way he whispered ‘I love you’ so quietly that only you could hear.
It's like a movie you're being chained up and forced to observe. So, as much as you want to cease the flow of tears, it's an impossibility.
“I’ll leave my number for you,” Gojo speaks, breaking the natural silence between you both. “you know, in case you need anything.”
You wipe the tears on your cheeks with the back of your hands with little care, still feeling the damp smeared across your face. Your under-eyes, however, you take much more care to wipe gently with the pads of your fingers.
It’s the first time you’ve looked at yourself today. It’s been odd to see your face as bare as it is now for many days in a row. It isn’t you, but it is, really. It’s a reminder of how pathetic you really are. You’ve become too dependent on Yuuji and you’ve bent yourself to his every will just to please him, which you don’t mind, though you can’t deny it’s pathetic.
But he does it all for you, anything you want. Everything you want. Fuck. How are you going to handle being without him? The dark bags under your eyes are screaming at you with everything they have. There are three men in your life who call you princess with different intent behind the word, and yet somehow they’re all right. You are a princess, you need to be taken care of.
And now, you’re alone.
Maybe you should use this alone time to gain some semblance of independence.
“I know Yuuji told you to keep an eye on me while he’s gone.” you speak, it’s monotone and unbothered. You don’t care that Yuuji asked that of his friend and you don’t care that Gojo obeyed his order. If that’s what Yuuji thinks is best, fine. It’ll give him peace of mind, at the very least, to know at least someone has your back.
“You’re right about that,” he smiles, continuing to drive casually as if he’s been doing it since the day he was born, “but I wouldn’t offer unless I wanted to.”
Sweet. Satoru Gojo is sweet.
So, you smile. And you nod. And you tell him that you’re thankful and appreciate his kindness. Because that is the polite thing to do, yes, but it’s also the truth.
He parks outside of your home. You want nothing more than to be alone. All you want to do is cry in the privacy of your own home. And yet, when Gojo offers to come in, you don’t deny him.
Immediately he pulls out a pen and finds something to scribble his number onto. Urging you to keep it safe. Your stoic expression turns into a smirk with an amused raise of one eyebrow. You extract your phone from your pocket and save his number among your contacts. He chuckles at that.
The simplicity of youth.
“I don’t just mean errands or other tedious shit though, sweetheart.” he begins, picking up the earlier conversation in the car as he makes himself comfortable. “If you’re missing him, call me. If you want some company or just a friendly ear, call me.” he insists. You nod from the kitchen as you prepare coffee for both of you. It’s been a long morning, and you certainly need a pick me up.
“You’re nothing like Yuuji said you are.” you tease, settling the drinks down on top of the coffee table. Gojo rolls his eyes, he’s sure he knows exactly how Yuuji said he is. But he doesn’t argue with you about it.
It’s nice.
Being with Gojo is nice, because it’s rare you’re in the company of someone who appreciates Yuuji as much as you do. It’s been a crushing blow to realise that you have less friends in your life than you thought you did, the amount now totalling at zero.
Your classes are going to be hell, because while it’s true you have no friends, at least you had an escort in the form of your pink-haired lover who always made you feel like the world was at your feet. He’d never let you be alone… not until now, at least.
“Yuuji left his car, he told me you know how to drive. Is that true?” Gojo questions, it’s almost like an accusation, although you’re sure there’s no malice behind it. You nod your head, you do have a license.
“I know how, but I’m rusty. Yuuji drives me everywhere, these days. I’m a little nervous to be driving again actually… I’ve lost my confidence.” you explain before blowing on your steaming cup of coffee. You’re desperate for a sip. You need a caffeine injection to make the rest of the day bearable. It confuses you when Gojo begins to shake his head at your comment.
“I’ll drive you,”
“But—”
“It’s fine. I have no plans tomorrow so I’m happy to.”
You find it odd that somebody you barely know seems to want to help make your life easier in any way that they can. It’s also comforting. You’re already lost without Yuuji; and yet it’s almost a relief to have Gojo try and fill his shoes in the mundane sense.
It’s a weight off your shoulders knowing you don’t have to stress yourself sick worrying about your driving skills, or lack there of. Even if it is only for one day. With the devastation of Yuuji being out of your life for three months, everything feels incredibly delicate.
With a tender heart so raw you think it might be bleeding, you worry what a menace you could be to other drivers.
“Thank you, Gojo.” you nod, accepting his incredibly kind offer.
--
He comments on your appearance the minute you step foot inside of his car. The first time you met him you were covered in paint, pee and your own sick. And the second time was yesterday, bare faced and tear stricken. It was almost like you were mourning your boyfriend’s death. But today, he can’t help but compliment you on how well you’ve scrubbed up for class.
You’re still hurting, of course, but you decide to prematurely end your pity party. You’ve been feeling sorry for yourself time and time again in recent weeks, and though it’s likely that you will again, you have made the decision to end it today.
The drive is casual, asking each other how you slept and what you got up to after Gojo left. He already knows that you’re lying as soon as words start tumbling rapidly out of your mouth. You suspected that he’d ask that question, so you prepared a lie.
He knew though, because what else were you going to do other than curl under your duvet and cry? It’s not something he’d hold against you, it’s very apparent to him that you’re deeply in love with your boyfriend. And maybe you’re a bit more of a baby than you’d care to admit.
He leaves you with a wave. And he doesn’t fail to mention that he’ll be here to pick you up right on time. You smile widely as you watch him speed away, he must have lied to you too.
It seems he did have plans today after all.
--
The thumping in your chest might just be the loudest sound in the room as you enter your class. They’re here. They’re all here. And early, at that. The girls eye you up, looking a particularly irritated when they notice how good you look for the first time in a while.
Megumi pays you no mind, though. He seems to be keeping his word, staying clear and leaving you alone. For the most part, anyway, you’re sure if you give him enough time, he’ll find an excuse to pester you.
At least he seems to have toned down his usual brand of bullying.
It is becoming tiresome that everyone seems to look at you with sympathetic, pitiful gazes. You didn’t think you’d mind it so much that everyone knew about the incident at the club, but you didn’t think the poor victim glances would still be ongoing.
It’s not lost on you that your professor seems disappointed in your progress, too. Everything is becoming too much. Hell would freeze over before you took your teachers advice and allowed Megumi to help you with your work. Your eyes feel pain, the type of vibrating pain you feel when you know you’re about to cry. You said you wouldn’t do this. But now, looking through the pages of your pathetic sketchbook, you feel… empty. There isn’t a single feeling of love or pride as you look at your work. It isn’t you, not anymore. It isn’t yours.
You’re a fraud, you suppose.
You stand to leave; you can’t cry again today and not in front of these people. If the one last shred of control over your life is to no longer give your classmates fuel to feel anymore pity or joy at your expense, you’ll be damned if you don’t take it. Your chair scraping across the floor gains the attention of everyone in the room, but before you can leave your professor turns to face you.
“Please sit down, there’s something I want to tell you all before anyone tries running away early.” he sighs.
It’s humiliating. You weren’t ‘running away’ at all. All you wanted was five minutes. Five fucking minutes to get some air, get some solitude and focus your energy on holding in your tears. Except apparently that’s more than too much to ask right now.
“I wasn’t, I just—”
“I’ve arranged a trip for us all out of town, and it’s mandatory.” he interrupts, not bothering to wait until you’ve settled back down into your seat.
This is it. Everything is crumbling around you. How the fuck are you going to survive an entire day out of town with these people? You won’t, you can’t. Everything else he said after that initial sentence is being tuned out. The only thing running through your mind is how to get out of it. A fake death in the family? A doctors appointment? Maybe your parents would provide a good excuse. No, none of it was good enough. It’s mandatory.
You have to do this.
And you’re going to have to do it alone.
“Didn’t get much work done today, O’Keeffe.” Megumi taunts as he sways by you, eager to flee the classroom at the end of the day. He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, by the time your lips fall open to object to the nickname he’s already ten paces ahead of you.
You did it. You made it to the end of the day without bursting into tears. And you did it without Yuuji. You’re sure he’d be proud, hell, you’re proud of yourself. Maybe you’ll reward yourself with a shopping spree, that usually takes the edge off. Even if it is often just a momentary relief.
It’s funny, when you step into the parking lot and see Megumi still waiting there. He was so keen to rush away and get out ahead of you. But now, you’re almost standing by his side as you wait for Gojo. His flickering gaze doesn’t go unnoticed.
He’s getting predictable, he can’t seem to help himself when you’re around. And it makes you wonder if he’s holding back on you because Toji told him to, or because of the kiss.
Megumi’s eyes squint as Gojo’s car turns into a space, it’s like he recognises it. He does. Your boyfriend isn’t the only one who has a friendship with him, it seems. Gojo doesn’t bother getting out of the car; but he does wave at Megumi. He doesn’t want to hold back anymore, this has given him the perfect excuse to talk to you.
“You know him?” Megumi wonders. You nod, what else is there to say? You aren’t friends and you don’t want to talk to him. If you were smart, you wouldn’t have even given him the effort it took you to nod. It's clear that you’re too nice for your own good.
A scream rips from your chest as an all too familiar car zips by you, almost knocking you on your ass from the breeze it gives off alone. Megumi can do nought but smirk. And that catches your attention. He’s mocking you, but what’s new? It’s almost like he’s telling you that you’re an idiot and should watch where you’re going. As if the vehicle in question isn’t going way over the speed limit. The driver parks and steps out, waving at you with his keys in his hand.
“Heya, princess.” Toji smiles. “Get in the car shit head.” he directs his son, his thumb pointing in the direction of the passenger side. He’s parked right by Gojo, prompting both yourself and Megumi to walk over to your respected rides home.
“Don’t you know how to drive?” you ask, accidentally aloud. He seems like the type who does, so it begs the question of why he doesn’t drive himself around.
“Don’t you? Or are you too much of an entitled bitch to do it yourself?” he mutters, hoping his father doesn’t overhear his crass comment. He clears his throat, not to issue an apology, he stands by what he said. But he decides to answer your almost invasive question. “I don’t have a car, yet.”
You nod, satisfied with the answer although regretting asking at all. Toji has noticed the tension between you, but all of your focus for now is on Gojo. Getting home is your top priority, although you weren’t looking forward to spending the evening in yours and Yuuji's home all by yourself. Gojo pulls his sunglasses down from the bridge of his nose to the tip. Your stomach clenches as he steps out of the car.
What the fuck is he doing?
It seems he’s following a voice, and when he finally locates the source, his face is unrecognisable. A grin wider than you’ve ever seen and bulging eyes you worry are probably hurting him. It’s Toji, he recognises.
It really is a small world.
“Toji Fushiguro? Playing daddy day care at last, I didn’t know you were visiting town.” he teases.
The scowl that splays across Toji’s expression is recognisable, but also not, at the same time. You’re sure you’ve seen that very same facial contortion as he bullies his son, putting him into place and demanding obedience. He's furious. But again, it’s a slightly different sight to what you’ve seen before. Toji wouldn’t hesitate to smack his son if he stepped out of line. But the way he’s looking at Gojo…
It’s like he could kill him.
“Fuck are you doing here?” he asks your alabaster haired chauffer. Megumi rolls his eyes, instantly getting into the car. It’s like he’s seen this dance a million times before. He’s over it. But you… are very intrigued.
“Collecting her, obviously.” he replies. The lack of use of your name makes you tense, but before you can tell him to be more polite, Toji opens his mouth to speak. But Gojo doesn’t let him get a word in quite yet. “Getting Megumi’s hopes up again I see. How long until you let him down this time? Since we both know you won’t be sticking around.” Gojo snidely comments. Toji grits his teeth, slamming a palm down on the hood of his car and pointing rudely at Gojo with the other hand.
“Watch your fucking mouth, because I’m sticking around for good.” he announces. Gojo scoffs, as if he’s heard that a few times in his life. It matters not to him, however, but he does care about Megumi. He knows it’ll mess him up even more if he skips town on him again. “Where’s Yuuji? I thought you kept better company than this.” Toji queries. You shake your head, not willing to divulge where your boyfriend is for fear of crying about it again.
“I’ll be keeping an eye on her while Yuuji is out of the country, so I think you’ll be seeing a lot of me from now on, Toji.” Gojo smarms, clearly relishing in how irritated his acquaintance is.
Toji gets into his car and slams the door behind him, wasting no time departing the scene. Gojo shrugs with a sneer etched on his face, a characteristic that you’re beginning to recognise as quintessentially Gojo. You get in the car, not acknowledging or discussing anything you’ve just witnessed. It’s clear they’ve got history. They have obvious beef between them, but you find yourself being unable to care, instead worrying that you might become a pawn in their game.
--
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he tells you as you step out of the car. You turn, awkwardly, to face him. That wasn’t the plan. You’re pretty confident this was just a favour for today. Doesn’t he have a life of his own?
“That’s not what you said yesterday.” you alert him. He nods in agreement. Can’t a guy change his mind?
“Yeah, but did you see how pissed Fushiguro was? I’ll be more than happy to be your driver if it bothers him that much.” he chuckles, it’s obvious that he’s proud of himself and his petty idea. So, you smile back, but it’s out of obligation more than amusement.
“Don’t bother, please.” you tell him. “I have zero desire in being a rope in a game of tug of war.” you explain, turning on your heel to enter your home.
“Fine, suit yourself. Have fun driving yourself tomorrow.” he tells you, starting his car back up to leave. “Don’t be afraid to call me though…” he finishes, finally pulling out of the parking space.
You offer a flimsy wave as you watch him leave. Despite everything you said, you are grateful to him and the acts of kindness he has offered in the wake of Yuuji’s absence. But you do hope you can get through this alone. You don’t want to resort to calling Satoru Gojo every day.
--
It’s a miracle you’d managed to stay strong all day. And yet, your will soon crumbles after an unexpected phone call from your mother. She rarely calls. All correspondence is usually via handwritten letters, she’s old fashioned liked that.
Unfortunately, she's calling with intent, and somehow she’d caught wind of Yuuji’s absence. It doesn’t take long for you to connect the dots in your head.
Megumi ➪ Toji ➪ Your mother.
It’s a good thing that he’s left you, according to her. She implies that you’ll come to realise how much better off you are without him while he’s gone. He isn’t right for you. He’ll never fit in to your world. It’s the same old fucking story you’ve heard time and time again. But even you don’t fit into your stupid little world. You want to make your own world with him.
“Naoya has been visiting us, I think you should give him another chance.” she tells you, a coercive tone in her poisonous words. You hope she hears the loud, disapproving scoff that bursts from your throat. That will never happen. Not in this lifetime nor the next. In fact, if you never see Naoya again you’re sure it’ll be too soon.
“Goodbye, mother.”
At least you stayed strong until you hung up. But you can’t help but cry when the silence in the house hits your heart like a stake in a vampire’s chest.
You’d kill to have Yuuji around right now, comforting you, telling you that your mother can’t keep you apart. He won’t let her. Nothing will change that, not even this distance between you for three months.
Your skin almost peels off and splats against the ceiling when your doorbell unexpectedly rings. Maybe it’s Gojo returning to apologise. He doesn’t seem like the apologising type, though, he could be here for any reason. There’s no way you’ll be able to cover up the fact that you’ve been crying; so you choose not to even bother. But that’s a decision you find yourself regretting when you find Toji at your front door.
“Hey… Woah, princess, you been cryin’?” he asks. You nod, but brush it off with a flimsy wave as you sidestep, allowing him to come inside. Toji is the last person you expected to see. Actually, maybe second last. You’re sure Megumi would sooner see himself dead before he comes to your door for any reason.
He seems worked up. Neither of you bother sitting down, it’s obvious he has no intention to stay. You don’t even understand why he’s here. What possible reason could he have for turning up unannounced like this? On further thought, though, you can’t really blame him for not letting you know. It’s not like he has any of your contact information. And you’d sooner give Naoya a chance before you handed them over to Megumi.
“What’s wrong?” you wonder.
“Nothin’,” he lies. You can see that he’s trying to figure out what he wants to say in his mind. He’s agitated and fidgeting. It’s a far stretch from the Toji you’re used to, the man who oozes confidence and has everyone in a room hanging on his every word. “listen, I’ve been thinkin’ I could take you to school instead of Gojo from now on.”
You sigh, heading towards the sofas nearby to get comfortable. You aren’t expecting a long conversation, but you doubt it’ll be short either. If possible, you want to avoid any backstory about the drama between them.
“I told Gojo I don’t want to be part of whatever this is already. I don’t want to be used so you can score points on each other, so I told him not to bother getting me tomorrow.” you announce. Toji smirks at that, clearly satisfied that Gojo hasn’t sunken his claws into you. But he isn’t fully satiated, he isn’t finished.
“I heard about Yuuji leaving for a while.” he hums, taking a seat on the couch opposite to you. He rests his arms on his thighs and focuses all of his attention on you. “Wanna talk about it?” he adds. You sneer at that.
“Haven’t you done enough talking about it to my mother?” you question, your gaze pointed and furious. His eyebrows furrow, perplexed by the statement.
“Huh?”
It’s earnest. You can see it clearly, he had nothing to do with your mother finding out about Yuuji leaving. Which begs the question, who the fuck told her? You shrug it off, telling him to disregard your comment.
You’re just… stressed.
“I don’t want to talk about it, anyway. Sick of talking about it to be honest.”
“Fine.”
It’s awkward. You’ve never felt like this around Toji before. It makes you wonder if this might be how Megumi feels around his father on a day-to-day basis. At a loss of what to say and uncomfortable in his presence. It’s strange to have him be like this, he’s always been talkative with you since your parents’ party. It almost feels like he’s doing it on purpose.
“Look, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m not the most liked guy around.” he begins, glaring down at his feet as he speaks. It’s amusing to you, and even he can’t help but grin when he notices you smiling. Toji? Disliked? Shocker! “It doesn’t bother me since I don’t like a lot of people either. But you… I don’t know. I’ve got a soft spot for ya, I suppose.”
“I think it’s guilt.”
“What?”
“You just feel guilty because Megumi has been bullying me and it’s mostly your fault. You don’t have a soft spot for me. It’s just guilt.” you lecture, earning a grunt from your elder friend.
“Yeah, I do feel guilty. So fucking what, huh? Doesn’t mean I don’t care about ya. You aren’t in my head and you don’t know how I fucking feel, so if I’m sayin’ I’ve got a soft spot for you then I do. Got it?”
You roll your eyes, you didn’t mean to get so under his skin but hearing him go off at you like this is new territory. It’s like he’s your dad. And to be honest, that thought doesn’t infuriate you. Anything is an upgrade compared to your real parents, after all.
“Where are you going with this?” you inquire, sounding unbothered to mask how curious you are. He ruffles his hand through his hair quickly before sitting upright to face you again.
“Let me drive you around. Not because of Gojo. Because of me. I want to because I want to, not for any other reason. I wanna help you out babe.” he speaks sincerely. It’s bizarre to think you know him so well considering you’ve known him for barely any time at all. You can’t help but find yourself drawn to him. Attached to each and every word he says. And you trust him. You aren’t sure why, no one else does. But for whatever reason, you do.
“What about—?”
“Megumi’ll leave you alone,” he cuts you off before you can even voice the thought, “’m not gonna tell him to take a hike though, you know I’m tryna make things better between us.” he continues. “But I’ll make him sit in the back if you want. Or— I don’t know we’ll figure it out.”
“Okay then…”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nod, “I’ll let you be my ride.”
You hope your words hide the doubt in your tone. It’s too late to turn back now. Toji grins from ear to ear, you can’t quite believe how overjoyed he is. His expression doesn’t dispel the doubts you’re feeling. Though you’re sure nothing ever could where Megumi is concerned. But, you trust him.
You trust Toji to keep you safe.
--
© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2024 rinhaler
me sobbing every time I read angst but I still fucking read it bc I’m mentally ill

all too well g. suguru
pairings: geto suguru x fem! reader (satoru x reader maybe?)
cw: lovers to exes, depression, i used suguru's eye color in the manga, angst, self-sabotage, fighting (satoru and suguru), mentions of blood, cutting of hair, i used suda manami for the plot sorry 😔, crying, a lot of cursing!
a/n: another angst fic hehe sorry :p
maybe you were the problem all along, maybe you forced him to something he didn't want and suguru got tired of you. that must be it. but if you were really the problem, you were willing to change, just for him to go back.


how can a person love someone to the point that they couldn't live without them? how could a person like you love someone that you still couldn't forget about them despite being separated for several months already?
geto suguru was supposed to be your high school sweetheart, he was supposed to be the person you'll be with until you grow old. why did a simple argument ended everything? but was it really that simple?
graduating high school, you and suguru decided to stay at a same dorm, not wanting to get separated again. you've started to get to know him more. you found out the things he loves and hate the most. you still remembered when he told you he hates it when you're not around. but now, you wonder if that's still the thing he hates the most.
being in a 4 year relationship with suguru, you've got to know him better. you always notice little changes about his behavior, his attitude and if something is bothering him and you hate the fact that he hid his depression to you very well. he was all happy infront of you and you didn't even know that something was already wrong.
you only found out about it the night he ended everything. he told you he fell out of love. it was sudden, you couldn't even process the words he uttered not until he embraced you, both were speaking in hushed voice, scared that one might break if one raises their voice.
"i'm sorry, but it's best if i'm away from you." he muttered, still embracing you.
"why? am i bad for you?" you said, not returning his almost cold embrace as you lean your cheek on his chest.
"mhm.. i wanted to focus on myself for now." you were speechless and you kept telling yourself that you should say something but everything was stuck at your throat.
say something! you said to yourself.
you felt suguru arms slipped away from you as he stood meters away and smiled at you.
"was i— a burden?" fuck, you were supposed to comfort him! don't be selfish right now.
"no." he answered plainly. "none of this is your fault, it was my decision."
"h-hey, we're in this together, my—"
"stop—" he stopped you before you could even reach him. "please respect my wishes." he said.
"suguru, what's wrong, hm? come on, tell me. i'm sorry was i hurting you? am i being too much? if so, i'll change! i will!.. suguru just— please?.. you're all i have."
a sob left you when he shake his head left to right, you hate how he said those words that broke you and still embraced you to comfort you.
"i'm sorry, i really am but if this continues, i'm afraid i'll break."
"but i'm here, i would love to be with you. your problem is my problem, right?
"you don't understand, (name)."
"tell me, so i could understand." you muttered as suguru pulled away by holding your shoulders.
"you're being stubborn."
"but— you'll be back, right?"
"i don't know." he said as he took his gymn bag on the bed and you stood there, frozen on the ground, lips quivering as you cry. you don't even care if you look miserable in his eyes, because once suguru stepped a foot outside, you know it's all over.
suguru held the door knob on his hand, he wanted to look back but once he did it, it would break down the walls he built himself and would tell you that he didn't mean everything he said, but he couldn't just do that, suguru needs his time alone and it was for the best, for him, and for you perhaps?
"suguru." fuck. he cursed when you called him with your voice breaking, his hand on the door knob tightening. "remember that i love you, okay? if you need something, i'm here, always."
"yeah, thanks."
and it was finally over.

being emotionally attached, it was hard without him by your side. you used to wait for him so you could eat dinner together but now, you can only only stare at the leftover food on the table for hours until you didn't want to eat anymore.
you waited, day and night as you sit on the couch staring at the door as if miracle would happen and he would come in there. you've lost track of time, you think even reality. you couldn't help but wait for him.
none of your or his friends came by to ask if you were okay but you forced yourself to think that everything was all fine because suguru will be back, right? you know he would.
a month passed, you thought you were getting better. you started going out after locking yourself in your room but seeing people around you, you couldn't help but think of the days he was still beside you and decided to just come home. you weren't getting better yet. will you ever be? yes, you eventually will.

winter was your favorite season, you and suguru loved to cuddle with thick blankets around your bodies with a mug of hot choco with marshmallows.
how many months has it been? 7 months? it's not like you're counting. you're doing good now, but the memories were still there.
you were more than ready to see him again, in a high school reunion your old classmates held so you could celebrate christmas together. you hope he will be there.
"i can't find it!" you cursed, already searched every corner of your cabinet and the scarf he gave you wasn't there, you couldn't find it. another curse left your mouth and decided to just wear a random scarf from your cabinet.
-
"i love your hair! it looks so healthy despite being so long!" you closest friend among them, utahime said.
"ah well.." you were cut off when you heard voices from the entrance of the private room of the restaurant.
"they're here." utahime said as she stood up, welcoming your old classmates and your heart increased its pace as you heard a familiar voice.
as you recalled it, none of your friends except his best friend satoru and shoko knew you were dating back then since both decided to be private. his friends were very observant that they found it out themselves.
"yo!" a surprised gasp left your mouth when satoru threw himself on you, his arms around your shoulder as he flexed his blue eyes to you and then he brushed his slender fingers on your hair as you felt heat in your cheeks when he complemented it. "what a nice hair you have, it reminds me of someone." he said.
satoru cleared his throat at he sat properly beside you.
"oi suguru, you did not inform us that you'll bring your girlfriend with you!"
you didn't know if you were taken aback at the words you heard or the way satoru pinched your cheeks, forcing a smile to form.
"what are you doing, satoru?" you said as you caressed your burning cheeks that he pinched.
satoru was about to say something but you stopped him.
"it's fine." you said, mainly assuring yourself as you smile at satoru. it's already been 7 months after all. it would be a surprise if suguru doesn't have someone new knowing that he have the looks.
shoko sat to your opposite as they trap you in the middle.
"where the hell have you been these past months?" shoko said, trapping you on her arm as she grind her finger in your hair. you laughed in response as she finally released you. "so, how have you been?"
"good."
"doesn't look like it."
"i'm fine, let's not talk about it for now." you muttered. "let's enjoy this day."
"alright, talk to me if you need something."
-
being around with your old classmates, you noticed that satoru and suguru weren't in good terms. when did it happened? they were literally roasting each other the moment everyone sat on their own seats.
"they fought, 3 months ago." shoko whispered to you as if she just read your mind.
"what happened?" you asked as shoko shrugged.
"i only found them beating each other and when i was about to ask them, they left."
you look away from satoru and did not expect to see purple eyes looking at you, but he was quick to avert his gaze.
you gulped the lump in your throat as you stare at the same scarf you were looking for, wrapped around his new girlfriend's neck. her pink her looking good with the pink with white tip knitted scarf. maybe it was just identical to the one he gave you, right?
-
the reunion was still a long way but you couldn't be in the same room with him anymore. earlier, you were too excited, even more than ready to see him again but now, you just wanted to be away from him.
"shoko." you yelled at your friend's ear, the loud sound of the karaoke draining your energy as shoko leaned her ear close to your mouth. "i'll be leaving now, i'm getting dizzy with the loud noise." you said as she prepares herself to stand up. "it's fine, i can go by myself, i already called an uber."
"are you sure?" she said as you nod.
you decided not to inform your other classmates anymore as you left the restaurant, your whole façade finally dropping as you quietly sob whilst covering your mouth.
what did you do to deserve this kind of punishment when you were just loving someone genuinely, was that a sin?
suguru's hair wasn't as long as you remembered it, instead it was cut the same length as his best friend. hair holds memories? what a bullshit phrase. now you just wanted to pull your hair out as you cry.
maybe you were the problem all along, maybe you forced him to something he didn't want and suguru got tired of you. that must be it. but if you were really the problem, you were willing to change, just for him to go back.
you thought waiting for 7 months was enough but do you have to wait more months? even years? of course, suguru was someone you already saw in your future, on the aisle as both of you exchange vows.
7 months has passed you still couldn't move on but suguru? he was there, with someone. he finally moved on from you. you just hope that the 4 years of being together was happy for him.
"hey." you were fast to wipe your tears as the person revealed himself.
"here." satoru said, handing you a handkerchief.
"what is this for?" you forced a laugh as you sniffed, accepting the handkerchief on his hand.
"you okay? i can take you home."
"thanks for the offer, satoru, but i already called an uber." you said as the surroundings went silent and silence made you cry even more.
"i'm sorry." you said, concealing your cries with a laugh as you wiped your tears with the handkerchief satoru gave you.
"why are you apologizing?"
"i look miserable, right?" you joked as you heaved a heavy sigh.
"i should really take you home."
"it's fine, it'll be fine later. i was just surprised." you said. "so, when did they?.."
"3 months ago." satoru answered.
"ah, is that so?" you asked as satoru hummed in response. "i'm happy for him." you said but your voice shaking.
"are you?" satoru teased as both of you laugh. "i'm here, you know." he suddenly said.
"stop joking like that, satoru. suguru is your best friend, i just couldn't betray him like that."
"i'm just joking." satoru said, placing his arm around you, caressing your hair with his hand.
your phone released a sound as you noticed that the uber was already near and satoru pulled away from you.
"thank you, satoru."
"of course. you still have my— and shoko's number right? call us if you need something."
"yeah, thanks again." you said as satoru ruffled your hair.
"there goes the uber." he said as the uber stops infront of you and you were surprised when satoru opened the front door. "take her home safely or i'll beat you up." he said.
"satoru!.. don't mind him mister."
"i'm just kidding." he laughed as you huffed in response. satoru watched as the uber disappeared on his sight as he released the breath he didn't know he was holding.
"so, you're starting your plan now huh?" suguru said as he appeared behind him.
"ha? what plan?" satoru rasped as he placed his hands inside his pockets.
"stop pretending satoru, we both know what you feel for (name). it's your chance now, you can take her, i don't care."
""suguru is your best friend, i just couldn't betray him like that." she said. see how she's still worrying for you? i wonder why an innocent person like her decided to choose a bullshit person like you." suddenly, satoru cheek was met by suguru's fist as suguru held him by his collar.
"say that again!" suguru said but satoru gave the same punch he received as suguru stumbled back a bit.
"hey!" shoko's voice entered their senses as she went between them. "the fuck are you two fighting for again!" shoko yelled but she was being ignored by the two men.
"did you know suguru, i am aware of my bad habits before in high school that's why i let you be with (name) even if it hurts me because i know you are the best for her, i didn't expect you to be like this, come on!"
"stop talking as if you know everything."
"i don't fucking care, i just know that if i had her first, she wouldn't be like this. she was crying, because of you! we didn't even know you broke up with her until we saw you with your new 'girlfriend'."
"then fucking take her!"
"oh i will! just watch, geto suguru."
suguru removed shoko's hand that was gripping his sweater as he wiped the blood on the side of his mouth before going back inside.
"gojo what the fuck?" shoko said.
"forget what you heard, shoko."
"you fucking dumbass! where are you going?"
"leaving this shit reunion."

satoru was supposed to be home but what was he doing in your front door?
he cleared his throat before knocking at the door but minutes already passed, there was no answer.
satoru slumped his shoulders deciding to just leave but then the door was suddenly opened a bit as you peeked.
"satoru? what are you doing here?" you said as you open the door to fully welcome him.
satoru's mouth agape as he looked at you with slightly widened eyes.
"oh this? lovely is it not?" you said as you brushed your fingers with your new short layered hair you cut yourself. you weren't even finished cutting it when you heard a knock on the door.
"yeah, suits you." he said.
"is that for me?" you said, pointing at the plastic of foods on his hands.
"y-yeah, uhm.. shoko wanted to give this."
"really? i'll thank her later!"
"no! i mean- i'll just say it to her."
"okay?.. want to go inside?"
"sure."
-
was cutting your hair made a difference? you think not because even if you cut it already, the pain was still there. maybe you weren't really getting better, maybe not all, not anymore.
JJK Men When They Catch You Masturbating (NSFW, fem reader, pet names)
Characters: Gojo, Geto, Toji, Nanami, Choso, Ijichi, Naoya, Sukuna, Hakari, Higuruma, Ino
note: just something small, trying to get into writing for jjk
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"Aww, you getting off without me princess?"
GOJO, CHOSO, SUKUNA, HAKARI, INO
"I don't think I gave you permission to touch yourself pretty girl. You know I'm gonna have to punish you, right?"
TOJI, NAOYA, GOJO, SUKUNA
"If you were feeling horny you could've just told me, don't ever think I'm too busy to satisfy you darling ♡"
GETO, CHOSO, NANAMI, IJICHI, TOJI, HIGURUMA, INO
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Taglist
@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @happy-trenchcoated-impala @giugiette @katkitkats