Guys Have You Ever Seen How You Weigh A Baby Giraffe

guys have you ever seen how you weigh a baby giraffe

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!? Gladius Part 6

I told you I was still playing this, and oh boy do I have some progress to report this time!  Just warning now, this will probably be the longest edition of this yet and will contain spoilers for what I’m assuming is rapidly approaching the end of the game.

So anyway, we continue our journey to kicking the asses of every region in this game.  Luckily, this is made pretty easy in this last area by only having two different tournaments to conquer.  Granted the battles themselves weren’t exactly easy...but we’ve preserved through worse so of course we are victorious!

After beating both of the tournaments, we are interupted by a cutscene of Gwazi mourning the loss of his village.  Ursula offers to go to the alter where the affinity stone is that can cure their drought problem but he refuses of course since he is under our orders.  Of course, Ursula being the kind boss she is orders him to take us there.

Along the way, we are treated to a weird little thing where Eiji tries to tell Ursula what is bothering her.  Unfortunatly, this get’s misinterpreted as Ursula assuming Eiji has feelings for Valens and she obviously doesn’t want to hear any of that.  Eiji then laments that it may be just as well since they would all hate her if they knew the truth

MYSTERIOUS

Anyway, we continue on our way toward the altar while Urlan complains, asking “Why are we doing this again? BECAUSE WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE URLAN STOP BEING AN UNLIKEABLE ASSHOLE.

We arrive at the location to see nothing of the sort that Gwazi mentioned.  Suddenly, three summoners appear and Gwazi is revealed as a traitor.

...Okay Urlan, you were right...for once.

This battle is actually kind of a pain, since it starts with you, Urlan and Ursula against Gwazi and three summoners who will pretty much immediately all summon, leaving you at 3 against 7 which is not favorable and it’s game over if Ursula dies.  Took me 3 attempts but I emerged victorious.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention was during the first league, we ran into Valen’s old friend Ludo appearing working for the dark legionnaires.  He talks some trash to Valens, saying that his school was trash but he must know that since he jumped ship as well...okay, point Ludo but it’s irrelevant since we kick his ass.

After that region has been conquered, we head to Caltha to take on the High Games. Everyone is suitably impressed and pumped and Usus has more life in his voice here then any other part of the game.  With our dream team selected, we take part in the five battle series to be the very best!

Team: Ursula/Zod/Eiji/Langston/Bestla

First battle was arguably the trickiest, with a bunch of imperials and a commander, who constantly buffed their stats.  Luckily, Zod can pretty much take anything thrown at him so we are triumphant.  Round 2 goes by without even breaking a sweat, round 3 was a little tricky due to all the archers ganging up on Zod before he was in counter range and four was easy despite it being an all insect team (HATE THOSE).

The final battle pits us against Ludo’s team once again.  Honestly, he’s not THAT hard.  He doesn’t hit hard, he’s not particularly bulky, his only saving grace is that he is dodgy as hell and if you don’t time your button presses correctly he will dodge pretty much everytime.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!  BOW DOWN TO BEAR GOD ZOD AND HIS FOLLOWERS

And then...the world went crazy

We flee from the arena in Caltha (Which was really pretty by the way) as the sky grows dark.  The giant statue that watches over the proceedings proceeds to come to life and destory the royal box, along with the King and everyone else that was inside.  

As everyone else flees, one man stands to face the rampaging staute...Muutis.  He queels the beast with a single stroke before being named a hero to Imperia and becoming their leader.

EXCEPT IT WAS ALL A RUSE BY HIM AND EVIL WITCH LADY.

As our group contemplates this, Eiji reveals her dark secret for real this time, that she was hired by Muutis to watch his back as he retrieved whatever macguffin he needed to pull that gambit off. It’s then revealed that they are heading straight for Nordagh so we hurry back to defend our country and King/father from the impeding death.

Oh, and Usus warns us that every battle will be to the death so...any recruits that aren’t the four main characters will die if they fall in battle from here on out...fantastic.

Unfortunately, evil witch lady beats us to the punch and we walk in on her zapping the shit out of the king.  She flees when we appear and leaves us to battle her minions, forcing us to use Ursula/Urlan/Valens/Eiji. We dispatch them quickly before another cutscene starts with Ursula and Urlan talking to their soon to be dead father.

Orin reveals the truth that Ursula is actually Urlan’s twin and that she has some magical abilities and should go seek out the Galdr for information.  Urlan is against this but is, like at every other point in the game, talked into it by Ursula.  Usus agrees and decides to hold off the Imperial forces BY HIMSELF.  Good lord he’s a badass.  Anyway, Urlan and Usus leave which leaves Ursula and Valens to share a tender moment.

They also may or may not have kissed...I may have been looking down and looked up just in time to see the scene fading...

Anyway, we journey to the Galdr and after a laughably easy battle, Ursula finally get’s the secret’s of her powers revealed.  Not only is she the darkness...BUT THE LIGHT.  She is the last Valkyrie and has the ability to stop the Dark God, along with Valens, who will take the place of his father as the previous Valkyrie’s guardian.  CONVENIENT.

Anyway, we make our way to the old Valkyrie city that is now ruled by Cyclops to go retrieve a staff that belongs to the Valkyrie.  However, once we arrive, the Cyclops King does not approve and we are thrown into battle again.

EXCEPT THIS TIME WE CAN FINALLY CHOOSE OUR PARTY AGAIN! URSULA/ZOD/LANGSTON/EIJI GO!

What follows, is a very cool sequence of battles where the Cyclops king will summon the affinity god of each of the four elements (Fire/Water/Wind/Earth) and you have to take them down.  The creatures are huge, taking up a whole 3X3 area. 

Luckily, they also go down pretty easily, with the exception of the Wind one who was a tank.  The designs were really cool though and it was probably my favorite moment of the game so far, definitely suitably epic.

Left to his own devices, the Cyclops King charges us himself.  We charge into battle and get about half of his health down before he can attack...taking off over half of Zod’s health in one shot.

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!

Luckily, he spends the other two turns he get’s trying and failing to use status effect spells, allowing the bear god to escape unharmed.  Once that ends, Ursula picks up the sword and get’s a nifty power up and new wardrobe.  She announces that we need to go to where the Dark God had last risen, being the place where he will be more powerful and the ideal place for our enemies to attempt to summon him.

However, that will have to wait til next time.  But yeah...this picked up and I am excited to finish it!

Going Digital!  Digimon World Dawn Finale!

After many hours of grinding, work, grinding, heartbreak, grinding, grinding and more grinding, this game has been defeated!

I had surprisingly taken care of more plot then I expected in the previous update so there are really only two plot missions for this update.  One was to go to Proxy Island to meet up with...whoever the leader of Kowloon Co was (the leader of Waruseadramons group).  This leads us into an area that is disappointing in pretty much every single category.  Not fun to navigate, not many interesting digimon and not a good exp spread either...love you too Proxy Island.

After stumbling around for a while, we eventually sneak up on Waruseadramon...singing...about how he’s not such a bad guy...did I mention that I love him?  Anyway, he takes us to his leader and we fight Gaiomon again...who is no match for us obviously at this point.  And honestly...I forget if we had to fight there leader or if he just agrees to help up.  After forking over 100k bits, he agrees to have his company work on a bridge to help us get across to Darkmoon city so we can end this!

Which leads to the intensive hours of grinding in order to get my ideal team for the finale!  However, tiredness of grinding, lack of good Holy exp areas and just general bullshit caused me to shuffle the team around a bit, finally leaving me with this final team.

ImperialdramonBK Eaglemon Gryphonmon Saberleomon Jijimon Dorugoramon

We go talk to our leader and he reveals that All the Night Crow members are crowding at the edge of the bridge looking to come in after us.  Glare tells Waruseadramon to come up with a lock to keep them out while we sneak in.  Spinomon successfully does this while Sayo and Waruseadramon have some very stealth adventures together.  And by very stealthy, I mean not stealthy at all, leading them to entrust us with the task of sneaking in and saving everyone!

I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN WARUSEADRAMON!

Anyway, once in Darkmoon City we need to defeat three different tamers in order to get a master ID to get into the admin room or whatever.  This is where I may have overgrinded just a tad, as it took just one round of attacks from my team to defeat each of the three tamers.

We head into Night Crow’s lair before being thrust into a fight against a possessed Chaos Gallantmon, who predictably falls easily.  However, now that we’ve injured him, that means Chaosgallantmon can break out from his spell...apparently I don’t freaking know. This leads the little floating core thing that possesed him to float off into the final dungeon.

After being thanked by the leaders of the opposing team and them admitting I’m the only one who can save all their sorry asses, I head into the final dungeon!  Again, pretty easy, a little confusing but certainly not the worst area in the game as far as that’s concerned.

Oh look, it’s Grimmon again...woooooo.  Anyway, he get’s possesed and turns into...some thing and the final boss fight begins!  And this is where I DEFINITELY realized I overgrinded when his hits are doing about 20 damage each...Thanks for overpreparing me, every other Digimon game ever...

Anyway, he falls and then digivolves and tries to put us under some kind of spell.  Of course, this is where THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BAILS US OUT!  Luckily, the last boss is at least a little challenging, being able to wrack up over 100 damage per hit and put our team to sleep so i got at least a little resistance.  Nonetheless, he falls and we are victorious and are treated to credits that lasted longer then both phases of the final boss fight combined!

So yeah, That was Digimon World Dawn!  A pretty fun game, if a bit on the easy side.  Then again, I suppose one of the Digimon games had to be easy eventually : p

Have a couple ideas for what I’m going to play next, neither of which are RPG’s!

Digital Transformers! Storm Finishes Watching Digimon Xros Wars!

Yup, after putting it off for long enough, I have finally completed the sixth season of Digimon!  You know the drill, probably some spoilers in this write up so...you’ve been warned.

So the third part of Xros Wars is...different.  I wouldn’t call it bad necessarily, but it is a step down from the first two parts.  It’s very episodic in nature and doesn’t really develop a plot for a large part of the episodes.  The plot and development was interesting when it happened, but there was too few of them on the whole.

Some of the more stand alone episodes were...iffy at best.  One that immediatly comes to mind is the Betsumon episode, which my beef with can be summed up very simply by this paraphrasing of the plot.

Tagiru: Gumdramon!  Fight for your friend! Gumdramon: He abandoned me and doesn’t even remember me, how about no? Tagiru: NO! *Punches in face repeatedly* FRIENDSHIP!

Speaking of Tagiru, him as a protagonist was...alright.  I actually didn’t mind him as much as I thought I would and Gumdramon was a nice partner for him as well.  I’m sure there were a quite a few people dissapointed in Taiki taking a bit of a back seat in this arc but I actually kind of liked getting to see him in more of a mentor/advisory position.  

Also Shoutmon’s desgin upgrade for this season was awesome.

Something I haven’t talked about throughout these post’s but I really probably should is the music.  I pretty much love all the insert songs that get played for each digixros/digivolution and some of the themes are absolutely great for getting you pumped for the epic moments.

So where would I rank Xros Wars out of all the Digimon seasons?  Pretty favorably actually!  I would probably have to put it in sort of an interchangeable depending on the day tie for second with Savers and 02 (And without the third season, it may be second by itself) with Tamers still my all time favorite.  Really glad I finally got myself to watch the series and I enjoyed the experience!

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?!?!? Gladius Part 5

Hello everyone!  More progress has been made and just one region remains to conquer before the high tournament at Caltha!  Or you know, the world ends, whichever comes first.

Anyway, The Windward Steppes proved to be a difficult region to conquer, partially just due to the enemies being tougher, and partially due to the increasingly strict demands for which classes could be used in certain leagues.  For one battle in a specific league I had to field a team entirely of temporary recruits to complete it.

That being said, starting to get a little more selective of which units I send into battle.  Before it was a pretty even spread, but now I’m definitely starting to favor the units that bring about the most success. If I had to split the team into teirs, it would probably be this

Tier 1: Zod (Bear), Ursula (Main Character), Eiji (Archer) and Langston (MINOTAUR) Tier 2: Urlan (Barbarian), Valens (Other Main Character), Bestia (Wolf) and Ekaterina (Plains Cat) Tier 3: Goff (Mongrel), Sim (Satyr) and Vagka (Ogre)

Not to say that the bottom tier can’t be useful, but they either can’t bring the pain like the others or in most cases, just aren’t as survivable as the rest of the team.

Onto plot progress, as we were headed for the championship tournament of the Windward Steppes, we see a group of dark affinity warriors on the world map.  The dialogue seemed to hint that they would show up in the tournament but they didn’t so that makes this scene pointless for the moment.  Though admittedly, that could just be me being bitter that the game froze on me the first time the scene triggered and I lost 2 hours of progress.

Oh yeah, and before that we ran into some dark witch that tried to tempt Valens and Urlan but Ursula chased her off.  Pretty sure she’s the one that is later shown in a cutscene trying and failing to resurrect the dark god so..all is well in the world clearly.

Speaking of Urlan (kind of), he was even more grating in this last section then usual.  Critical of every type of fighting style that isn’t of the ‘run straight ahead and bash things’ variety.  He also was very critical of Imperia, stating that Nordagh has been fine without interference or advice from imperials for centuries.  Me thinks young Urlan is forgetting that his mentor and his father’s advisor is from Imperia.

Anyway, when we get into the Southern Expanse, we see some guy being attacked by muggers.  Because we don’t listen to Urlan in this group, we run over to help him out.  Once he is safe, he is introduced to be a man by the name of Gwazi.  Urlan realizes his opinion is useless to me and we quickly recruit him.

So yeah...setting up to go rock this region of the game and earn that spot in the high tournament!  Or reserving a ticket for getting murdered by the dark god, we shall see.

Oh and recruited a Cyclops, wheeeeeee!

The Valkyria Chronicles...Chronicle!  Part 1

Hey everyone, for now think I'm gonna use this blog to share my experiences playing games and other stuff, because let's face it, it can be fun to read about someone's first experience with something!  So regardless if you have no idea what I'm playing, have mastered it, or are just looking for something entertaining to read, hopefully you can find something to enjoy here.

So yeah, as you may have been able to guess from the title, I am currently playing Valkyria Chronicles for the PS3.  Valkyria Chronicles is a turn based strategy RPG with perma death features similar to Fire Emblem, though it's a little more forgiving on that note.  Your characters die if you can't get another character to them in three rounds or before an enemy unit approaches them. As a note, I will try to keep spoilers to a relative minimum or at least not go into details much, but I can't promise there won't be ANY so...just be aware of that I guess.

I'm already on Chapter 8 of the game so I'm gonna do kind of a quick TLDR for what's happened so far in the game to kind of catch you up or at least give you a bit of a gist as to what's happening.

YOU LIVE IN GALLIA TINY COUNTRY ATTACKED BY BIG COUNTRY WAR TIME, JOIN MILITIA MAGICALLY BECOME LEADER OF YOUR OWN UNIT FIND ENEMY COMMANDER AND BRAWL WITH HIM GET SEPARATED FROM REST OF YOUR SQUAD

And that's the important stuff : p So anyway, the start of Chapter 8 has you as the main two characters (Welkin and Alicia) trying to sneak past enemy grounds at night to get to safety.  The gimmick here, is that Alicia has a bum ankle and the enemy is firing Mortar shots at you every turn while you try to work your way through.  There are also search lights that if you run into will cause a mortar to be targeted toward your current location.

So this level I actually game overed on several times before finally succeeding.  The mission doesn't seem that hard overall and most of the game overs were stupidity on my part (Leaving Alicia in range of the Mortar without even thinking for one) and since you only have two main characters, either of them dying is a game over.  Biggest hurdle was a section with a scout (Speedsters) and a Shocktrooper (Heavy Hitter) and I tried to face them outright instead of dashing right by to the pathway by them (Didn't see it at first).  The first time I did that I completed the level so...failure by making things overly complicated : p

Following that, a couple of cutscenes happen, including Welkin and Alicia backstory, seeing how the rest of the team you are separated from is doing and a encounter with the opposing army.  After all of that, it's time for the second part of the chapter, which you start on the opposite side of the map from your team and have to make your way back to the tank and operate it while the rest of your team defends it until you get there.

So you want to talk stupidity, that was how I lost this mission about 3 different times.  There are a bunch of mines in the path of Welkin and Alicia as they make their way to the rest of the group and I was apparently blind and ran into pretty much every single one.

The mission becomes pretty simply once you get into the tank and can begin to really mount a counter offensive.  That being said, I unfortunately did lose my first party member before that could happen by the name of Wavy.  Put him up at a little outlook thing and I thought he was safe up there.  He was not and got knocked down from there right next to an enemy sniper, who quickly ran over to him and assured my first casualty of the run.

But yeah, tanks.  Bam bam, your dead.  That was pretty much the rest of the mission.

So yeah, this was a fun little first edition of this.  Hope you enjoyed reading this, I will probably keep doing it as long as I find it enjoyable. I'll put the current party and stats under a read more.

NEXT TIME: MEETING THE PRINCESS! I BET THINGS GO WRONG

Current team and levels

Scouts (GOTTA GO FAST) Level 8 Alicia Hermes Nancy Susie Fresia

Shocktroopers (BAM BAM) Level 7 Rosie Alex Salinas Nina Dorothy Jane

Lancers (FUCK TANKS) Level 7 Largo Walter Yoko Elysse

Engineers (FIX TANKS) Level 8 Karl Nadine

Snipers (EAGLE EYES) Level 8 Cezary Marina Catherine