Toppling Towers! Now With 100% More Gif!Seriously Though. This Is Beautiful And Soooo Detailed!

Toppling Towers! Now with 100%  more gif! Seriously though. This is beautiful and soooo detailed! <333 kozzdraw is an angel from above.

How dare Roxie bail on her like that? They were supposed to be friends, weren’t they? Sure, they had never met before, but that shouldn’t matter!

Really?! Thanks a bunch! I can't wait to see what you come up with!

Message for SparkyandSnarky

Sorry I just got your message! I’ll gladly sketch up your babies! 

Toppling Towers (AKA A Social Misfit's Guide to Dethroning Your Uncle): Chapter 1

Author's Note: Guess who finally wrote a thing? Hint: It was me! I wrote the thing! So after a veeerrryy long period of dormancy, here's a fic! This is Chapter 1 in a massive art trade with the beautiful, the talented, kozzdraw! There will probably be around 8 chapters, all and all. All of the characters (save for Roxie in this chapter) belong to kozzdraw. You can find their character sheets linked to under the story. All of the writing is courtesy of yours truly! I'm a little rusty, and I'm not quite sure I'm totally happy with the results, but at least I did it! Friendly reminder: Writing and proofreading commissions and art trades are OPEN!

“Are you injured, m’lady?” The gallant knight asked, stepping over the scaly carcass of the recently slain beast. He extended his hand in greeting. “I am Baulur Ironstar, of the Western Isles.”

                The scantily clad elfin maiden smiled beatifically. “Thank you, Baulur Ironstar. I am unharmed, thanks to you. You saved me, and I am eternally grateful.”

                “Is that so?” A  smirk spread across the knight’s face. “Well, there’s a place nearby where two people can have some privacy… to chat.” This time he reached out and snatched her hand from her side.

                The upward curve of the woman’s lips transformed her mild expression into a knife-like grin. “That sounds nice.” This time there was a clear hint of malice in her voice. “But I’m afraid you’re about to become indisposed.” As she spoke the ground beneath the knight rumbled and split open with an echoing yawn, revealing a dungeon portal. Baulur hadn’t the time to move and could only stare in horror as he plummeted into the cavern. The cave below him was filled with writing slime monsters and… dicks?                 “No…!” His shrieks hung heavy in the air as the earth swallowed him, accompanied by a cacophony of female laughter.

                  “That was sweet!” A voice crackled to life over the speaker system.

                Roxie’s laugh reverberated in her ear. “Serves him right, bullying all those girls.”

                Auggie hummed in response and slung her feet up onto the desk, nearly missing the keyboard with practiced precision. She had let her protégé pick the target this time. She was no justice warrior, but every now and then, she would admit, the internet could use some cleansing. The trick had been a simple one, but she was trying to ease her apprentice into the world of internet trolling. Crashing whole servers would come later.                 A knock at the door interrupted her gloating.

                “Hold on Rox, someone’s here. I’ll be right back.”

                “Actually,” Roxie hesitated, “I should probably go. My boyfriend’s going out of town next week, so he’s coming over tonight.”

                “Boyfriend?!” Auggie, already on her feet, squawked into her mic. “We were supposed to do a raid tonight! I’ve been planning for it all week”                 “I know. I’m super sorry!” Roxie groveled over the line. “But we can do it next week! Please don’t be mad.”                 Auggie’s faced scrunched up as she seethed. She hoped Roxie could hear the contempt through their connection.

                “Fine. Whatever.” She snapped.

                “Aw, c’mon Auggie. I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”                 “I said whatever!” Her voice was laced with agitation.

                There was a long pause. “So… I’ll talk to you later?” Roxie asked hopefully.

                Auggie closed out of the call.

                The knocking on the door was more insistent now. “I’m coming!” She barked, still grumbling as she shuffled towards the door. How dare Roxie bail on her like that? They were supposed to be friends, weren’t they? Sure, they had never met before, but that shouldn’t matter! She was still fuming when she stood on her tiptoes to peer through the peephole. She was greeted by a single angry blue eye.

                “Auggie, let me in.”                 Auggie opened the door but left the deadbolt in place. “What do you want, Pug?” She asked, sizing up her brother through the crack between the door and its frame. It must have been raining, because he was soaked from his quaffed blonde hair to his steel-toed boots. Water droplets clung to his long black coat and shimmered under the flickering porch light.

                His tone was as stern as ever, and it ignited a flame of resentment in her gut. “We need to talk. Let me in.”                 “Why should I?” she narrowed her eyes at him.                 Pug scowled. “Don’t be childish. Let me in or I’ll kick the door down.”                 He probably would, too. Auggie didn’t feel like testing him. She unlatched the deadbolt and held the door open. It was definitely raining. The wind blew cold flecks of water into the tiny mudroom. “Fine. Come in, make yourself at home or whatever.”

                Pug tromped in, not even bothering to wipe off his boots. Auggie ghosted after him, slipping past to lead him back into her base of operations. Pug squinted into the dark room, lit only by the blue glow of half a dozen computer monitors, while his younger sister began sweeping empty instant noodle cups to one side of a small round table. He busied himself by dragging a chair from the corner, having to relocate several wide-eyed plush toys to the ground to do so. He seated himself at the table while Auggie pulled her computer chair around the other side. She laced her fingers in front of her face, blonde bangs falling in her eyes. “You said you wanted to talk. Talk.”

                Pug had become distracted by wrinkling his nose at a heap of empty microwavable meal containers. “This place is filthy.” He remarked.

                Auggie’s blood boiled. “Shut up, Pug! Don’t tell me how to live! God, you’re such a tool!”

                Pug steeled himself against the onslaught of rage, raising his hands in apathetic surrender. He hadn’t come to start a fight. He really did need to talk to her. “Forget it. Listen,” He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tuna’s pregnant.”

                Auggie almost choked on a guffaw. “Petunia? Preggers? You can’t be serious! That airhead is gonna raise a fucking kid?” She was practically giddy over her sister’s plight. When her fit of giggles subsided she noticed Pug wasn’t laughing with her. That was odd. The one bond the two shared was gossiping about their flighty sister, especially now that she was dating Hyson, a wild-eyed unicorn her brother loathed.

                “Wait, is it Hyson’s kid? That is rich! I get it, you think the guy’s trouble, but come on! How can you not find this funny?”

                Pug let his meaty hands drop to the table more heavily than he had intended. “Dammit, Auggie! This is bigger than Tuna and Hyson. This has implications for all of us!”

                “Implications? That’s a pretty big word for you bro.” Auggie sniped, still cackling.

                “Auggie!” Pug’s voice boomed through the room to a backdrop of a thunder clap. The storm must really be picking up outside. He was on his feet now, hands planted on the table. “That child will be our blood, and it will likely have all of the powers of the most magical creature in the known world. Can’t you think of anyone that might interest?!”

                The color drained from Auggie’s already pallid face. Any trace of humor vanished, replaced by a façade of primness and professionalism. She sat up straight, folded her hands in her lap. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about, dear brother.”                 Pug pursed his lips. “Don’t play dumb, Auggie. It doesn’t suit you.”

                “I’m not-“ Auggie began to protest, put Pug’s piercing stare dissuaded her. She couldn’t lie to him. She chewed her bottom lip. “What does Uncle Raidor have to do with this?”                 Pug’s jaw was set so tightly that she expected to hear it crack. “Come on, Auggie. Don’t try to tell me you can’t see it. Hyson’s useless. He couldn’t do a card trick without hurting himself. But this child – who knows? Can you imagine what would happen if he got ahold of half of the magic a unicorn is capable of producing? How much power that would give him?”

                Auggie averted her gaze, instead staring into the soulless eyes of one of the Tokidoki figurines lining the shelf just above and to the left of her brother’s head. “So?” She said coldly, “What’s that got to do with me?” She had never really liked Petunia. Loved her, to some extent, of course, but never liked her. And now she was sharing a sickeningly-sweet, vomit-inducing romance with Hyson Sable. It disgusted her. It wasn’t fair. Why did Tuna of all people get these things handed to her? If someone wanted to pop her perfect little bubble, Auggie wouldn’t pretend to weep over it.

                Pug released a strangled, exasperated sigh. He could see his sister’s resentment seeping out of her pores. “It has everything to do with both of us!” He snarled. Patience had never been one of his strengths, and what small amount he possessed was quickly deserting him. “Are you telling me you enjoy living like this?” He swept his hand to the side for dramatic emphasis, sending a small collection of empty energy drink cans scattering across the floor. “Lord Raidor pays for all of this, and he can take it away any time he wants! He’s got plans for us, plans for everyone, and he just about owns the entire fucking city. He always gets what he wants, and if anyone gets in his way…. Well, you’re smart enough to have figured out what happened to our parents.

                Auggie winced, swallowed. She knew. She wished every day she didn’t know, hadn’t gone looking. She had scoured building plans, electrical invoices, police incident reports. Fires like that didn’t just happen. “So don’t get in his way.”

                Pug sat again. All of his frustrations seemed to have blown over. But Auggie knew better. It wasn’t gone, it was burning brighter than ever; it had graduated to a cool, terrifying anger that reminded her a little bit too much of their uncle. She could see it in the glint in his eye, in the whiteness of his knuckles as he folded his hands together in front of him.                 “Auggie,” When he finally spoke again, his voice was too soft, too level. “Are you afraid of Uncle Raidor?”

                Auggie scowled and tch’d. “If course not.”

                “Then you’re not as smart as you claim you are. In fact, you’re a goddamn idiot.”

                “Listen asshole!” It was her turn to jump to her feet. But she stopped there, noticing the way Pug was watching: head tilted, expression neutral. He had been goading her and she had fallen for it. Sometimes she forgot her bone-crusher brother wasn’t as dumb as he looked. She sighed, slumped back down in her seat, turned his words over in her head. There was sense to them, hidden under all of the stupidity that came with defying Lord Raidor. He had gotten one thing right: she didn’t like living under his thumb. Didn’t like authority in general. Especially adults who would never understand her. The notion of rebellion was sweeter than she had anticipated, especially when it was on such a grand scale.

                “Okay, so something has to be done. What did you have in mind?”

                “I…” Pug trailed off, fidgeting self-consciously. “I don’t know yet.” Responding to some snide comment she hadn’t made, he tacked on, “But I will think of something. And I want to know you’re on board when I do.”

                It took all of Auggie’s willpower to keep her eyes from rolling up to the ceiling. Pug? Make a plan? This would be a trip. “Fine. Come up with something that won’t get us both killed and I’m in.”

                That was apparently all Pug needed to hear. He rose to his full towering height and brushed the remaining rain off of his coat as if he wasn’t about to step back out into the torrential downpour. “I’ll be in touch.”

                “What, leaving so soon?” Auggie sneered. “We’ve got half of a family reunion right here. I thought we could put on matching sweaters and look at old photo albums.”

                Pug stared at her with something between distaste and exhaustion. “Goodbye, Auggie.”

                She didn’t see him out, didn’t move until she heard the door slam shut behind him. She exhaled slowly, composing herself, then wheeled her chair back over to the largest of the computer monitors. She was going on that raid, whether Roxie wanted to help or not.

Character References

Auggie Raidor

Pug Raidor

Lord Raidor

Petunia Raidor

Hyson Sable

For any of you that follow me and are actually real people, not spam blogs, I'm sorry I haven't been posting much content lately! Between final exams and work and Christmas stuff I've been pretty busy. Also I'm a lazy ass but that's a story for another time, Anyways I just wanted to let you know that there is more stuff coming! What you can expect to see sometime in the near future:

The second chapter of Toppling Towers, my art trade with Kozz

A fic requested by donutbitches

A fic requested by lunavakarian

Sorry it's been such a long wait guys! I'm bad people! Other stuff coming soon

An actual page with commission information

Ditto for Art Trade Info

Maybe one for requests

A queue page where I'll make a list of people I owe fics or other assorted things so everyone can be assured that I did get their message(s) and can see where they are on the waiting/priority list.

Thanks for tuning in! You can now return to your regularly scheduled tumbling. 

Bah Humbug

as they plummeted. Their brethren already frosted the boughs of the surrounding trees and padded the hard ground. One adventurous crystal alighted squarely on Manglev’s snout and the feline had to cross his luminescent blue eyes to watch it enact its tragically short lifespan. Theological implications abound. Had he been in a philosophical mood he could have spent hours contemplating the lessons in life and passion encompassed within that single, melting snowflake. But, at present, he felt that his thoughts would only muddle the serenity of the evening. As it was, the portrait nature had painted around him was utterly pristine. The new-fallen snow was yet unmarred by the contact of sentient beasts and it seemed to cast the scene in a spectral blue light. A chilled breeze tickled his heavy winter coat, leaving him feeling clean and refreshed. There was perfection in the crispness, the solitude.

The only interruption in the quietude was the gaudy, colorful tent situated behind him. It broke the peace with its boastful existence. Over the course of the past hour the raucous festivities barely contained within had died to a muffled murmur of yuletide clichés. Inside, the Christmas celebration was continuing its decrescendo. Hyson had already passed out, inebriated, in a large bowl of punch, his limbs dangling over the edge and a dark stain slowly creeping up the seat of his flamboyant purple suit-pants. The festive medley that had previously risen from the hand-crafted mandolins and flutes of Brune and Myriot had died to a series of dulcet twangs as the duo attempted to teach Eureka how to coax out a melody. All the while the glowing young lass glanced furtively over her shoulder at the mop of pink hair that was Brynn. The youth had managed to both amuse and befuddle himself by using strings of vibrant lights to transform into a human Christmas tree. Meanwhile, Nox had reduced himself to wowing Creature and a crowd of exhausted and punch-drunk stage griffins with elementary card tricks, unaware that someone had draped an intricate array of tinsel over his curling horns. Even Besclin was in attendance. Someone had taken the time to wheel her tank into the tent and dump a bucket of green food-dye into the water so that she could join in the merriment. With the night drawing to a close, she floated under a piece of mistletoe that had been tacked to the outside of the aquarium, her sharp teeth glinting between the lips that twisted to form her devious smile.           It was only the sound of crunching footsteps, however, that broke through Manglev’s absorption and into his conscious mind. When he looked up he found that he was no longer unaccompanied. Standing beside him, hands in the pockets of a lavish red and white coat, was Marlene. She was dressed for the season with thick, fur-lined boots, slim black tights with sleigh bells sewed up the side, and a Santa Clause hat sitting atop her dark hair. Her ensemble was completed by a signature half-grin that dimpled her scarred cheek.           “What are you doing sitting out here like a furry green bump on a log?” She questioned with a raspy chuckle.           His own chest cavity rumbled with a quiet laughter. “It may look like I’m just sitting here,” He replied cheekily, “But on a cellular level I’m actually quite busy.”          Marlene fixed him with a disapproving stare for a long moment, just long enough for him to run through the sentence in his head to make sure nothing offensive had spilled past his lips, before breaking out into a smile. “Alright, I’ll give you that one.” She shrugged. “That’s not what I meant, though. Weren’t you having fun inside?”                                                                                    It was Manglev’s turn to shrug his hunched shoulders, though the awkward motion looked more like a shudder. “I was inside for a while. I just needed some air,” He defended.             Before he had finished his last syllable he felt the toe of her boot nudging his hind leg “Don’t sound so grumpy!” She instructed.                                                                                            “I’m always grumpy.             “It’s Christmas!”             “So?”             At this Marlene appeared generally concerned. Her thick lower lip protruded in a pout and she crossed both arms over her chest. Her feet spread apart slightly in a stubborn stance. “Don’t tell me you don’t like Christmas?!”             Manglev just shook his head and grunted noncommittally. Marlene continued to fix him with an intrusive stare, as if meaning to drag an answer out of him with her penetrating eyes. After several seconds he realized that he was not going to escape her line of indignant inquiry. “It’s not that I don’t like Christmas. I just don’t really see the point.”             “It’s a reason to celebrate!” Marlene suggested.             “But that’s all it is.” Manglev explained with a sigh. “I mean, doesn’t it seem a little silly? Why are we even celebrating? Because of convention? Everyone gets drunk and decorates because they’re used to it. I guess because I didn’t grow up with Christmas every year it all just kind of escapes me. I don’t really see why everyone gets so fussed about it.”             Marlene, ever obstinate, was quick with her rebuttal. “That’s not all Christmas is about.”             “Then what is it about? Religion? Jesus was probably born in the Spring, you know. The Christian church just adopted the Pagan celebration of the winter solstice to help convert new members. So, really, there’s no religious significance. Besides, there are plenty of people out there that don’t even believe in Jesus.”             Marlene just smiled amusedly and shook her head. “I don’t think you really understand what Christmas is about, Manglev,” She mused, glancing fondly down at her friend. “Christmas isn’t about the tinsel or the carols or the eggnog. Sure, that’s all part of it, but not the real meaning behind it. Hell, Christmas isn’t really even about Jesus, in my opinion. The real Christmas has to do with what all of those things stand for: love, generosity, good will. Maybe it’s not something that everybody celebrates, but those are qualities that everyone values, in their own way. Christmas is just an excuse to bring out those traits in people. It’s a chance to break away from the humdrum of everyday life to spend time with friends and family and generally be in good cheer. So cheer up, fuzz-butt!”             Manglev’s ears swiveled in her direction as he listened intently to her speech. The words themselves didn’t strike much of a chord with him, but the sheer conviction with which she spoke them was enough to melt his harried expression into a soft smile. From the whimsy in her tone to the warm embers glowing behind her eyes, her sincerity was evident. She truly believed in the inherent joy of Christmas. The characteristically wry and cynical woman had opened her heart, at least for a night, to the possibility of an innate kindness in her fellow creatures. Even if he couldn’t reconcile himself to be in complete agreement, Manglev couldn’t ruin that for her.             “All right, all right, I suppose you’re right.” He purred, craning his neck to nuzzle her hand expectantly. Marlene in response and began to scratch the skin of his scalp.”             “Good! So no more gloominess for the night!” The gaze she fixed him with was a knowing one. She was well aware that he had changed his approach for her alone, and she was willing to accept that. It would never be that simple to convince him of anything. After all, he was quite capable of being just as shrewd and stubborn as she. But an attempt at cheer from him was all that she required for the evening. Coming from him, she knew, that was a great gift.             “So....” Manglev began after a short stretch of silence, “Should we go back inside?”             Marlene gave his head an appreciative pat. “Nah, the party’s almost over, anyways. I don’t particularly want to be there when they try to fish Hyson out of the punch bowl. Let’s just go.”             The hulking green male snorted with laughter rat the mental image. “Whatever you say,” he agreed amicably. With a grunt he heaved himself to his feet. He could almost hear his bones creak as he did so and it made him feel like an un-oiled piece of machinery. While Marlene scuffed her boots against the ground, making a jingling sound as each leg moved, Manglev did his best to shake the thin dusting of snow from his thick, mossy coat. Once he was satisfied his friend replaced her slender hand atop his head and the two tromped away from the clearing, girl and beast.             As they walked, Marlene prodded at him good naturedly. “So I guess Mr. Scrooge doesn’t like Christmas presents either.” She teased.             Manglev chortled. “Why do we even give gifts on Christmas? Do we really need to buy each other’s affection?” He questioned, more for sport than any real inclination against the tradition of gift-giving.             “Fine! I won’t give you yours!”             “I didn’t say I didn’t want it!” Manglev protested, looking upwards at her with sudden disheartenment.             “I don’t know,” Marlene pondered with hyperbolized hesitation. “Have you been good? Only good girls, boys, and kitties get gifts.”             He screwed up his face into a wrinkled expression of distaste. “Define ‘good’.”             Marlene scrutinized him for a second as if taking an inventory of his past deeds. As quickly as the expression had appeared, however, it was replaced by an impish grin. A soft accented hiss reverberated between the back of her palate and her tongue. “You’re lucky I’ve got a soft spot for you.” She said, tilting her head affectionately towards him.            For once in his life, Manglev did feel very lucky.

           They spent the rest of the walk in silence, the only sound the crunching of their feet as they marched in harmonious time with one another. It was not long before they drew upon another tent, this one minimalistic compared to the vibrantly tacky enclosure they had just abandoned. It had thick burlap flaps protecting its innards from the winter chill, and smoke was billowing out a hole that had been cut into the roof. The makeshift shelter glowed and pulsed from within, lending it almost the appearance of a living being. The nearer they drew the more inviting the simple tent became to Manglev. By the time Marlene lifted one of the heavy flaps back for him he was craving the warmth and comfort of the indoors. Instantly he was bathed in the heat from the fire they had left crackling upon their departure. Extending his paws he stretched himself out in the typical feline manner, his abdomen extending like a spring uncoiling. A yawn rippled across his face and he opened his maw wide, exposing his yellowed teeth and insect-like mandibles. Marlene chuckled as she watched him, moving to stoke the fire with an iron rod.             When he had settled himself into a comfortable sitting position he cleared his throat. “So, what’s this about a present I was hearing?” He poked curiously.             “That’s what you’re after now, is it? Alright, close your eyes!” Manglev did as he was told, squeezing his eyelids tightly together. Of course, the sense of sight was no great loss for one as acutely gifted as he. He could hear her rummaging through some of her old satchels, which had been tossed casually in the corner. Her footsteps approached him once more and one of her knees touched the ground. He was a bit surprised to feel her hands around his thick neck, but he didn’t allow himself to sneak a glance until he heard, “Alright, go ahead!”             His immediate instinct was to peer down at where her delicate hands had been fidgeting. There he noticed a simple black leather band fastened, with only a decorative bronze ring for ornamentation. “A... collar?” He asked curiously.             “Don’t think of it as a collar!” Marlene proclaimed enthusiastically. “Think of it as a fashion statement!” Evidently she caught the skepticism that fluttered through his eyes, for she was quick to add, “And don’t think that I got it because I just think of you as some sort of pet or anything like that. That’s not what I meant by it. Well, I did think it would be cute, but that’s beside the point. I mean, people usually don’t put collars on animals to claim ownership or anything. They do it so that if the animal gets lost people know that that animal belongs somewhere, that it has a home, and so that people can find a way to take it back to its home. People like you and me... well, we have a hard time finding places we belong. So I just thought... you know... it would be nice to let you know that I think you belong somewhere. Right here, with me. We’re friends, even family. So, I thought that it was something that, if you ever felt lost or alone, you could look at to remember that you’ve got a home.”             Though the words came in a flurry, Manglev smiled in understanding. He gave her a light, tender head-butt as means of informing her that she didn’t need to defend her decision to him. “Thank you, Marlene. I really do appreciate the sentiment. And, for the record, I think this is where you belong too.”             There was relief in Marlene’s laughter as she drew to her feet, dusting herself off. “I’m glad. Will you at least wear it once in a while?”             “Of course,” Manglev rumbled. As he spoke he rose as well, dragging himself in front of the fire and flopping on his side there. “Though, now I feel guilty that I didn’t bring you anything.”             “That’s odd,” His companion muttered thoughtfully. “I could have sworn you got me a big, fluffy, feline pillow!”             “A wha-?! Oomph!” He was interrupted mid-syllable as Marlene dropped herself nearly on top of him, causing him to emit a sound like a deflating hot-air balloon. Before he could protest she had cuddled next to him, her figure lying along his, head resting on one of his shoulders. He chuckled in resignation and situated himself to be more accommodating. Once again, the pair was blanketed in silence. The silence that passed between Marlene and Manglev, however, was never an awkward one. There was no grappling for some new topic, no striving to fill the void. Rather, their silence was one that suggested nothing needed be said between them. They were in complete harmony, at peace with one another. The soothing silence that passed between them was one that said more than petty chatter ever could. There was something to be said for the bond of those that could be comfortable together when the novelty of speech was stripped away. For a long while they simply watched the flames from their fire curl about the air in a frantic dance. Their attentiveness was such that one might have imagined they could see whole other worlds painted by the small blaze. Every so often one of them would shift to enhance their comfort, but otherwise all was still. As was wont to happen, soon sleepiness enveloped the two. Manglev felt his eyelids grow heavy and his muscles uncoil. Soon dreams would hold him as their captive.              “Hey Marlene?” He muttered through the haze of his own exhaustion.             “Yes Manglev?” She answered with equal fatigue in her raspy voice.             “Merry Christmas.”             Her lips curled upwards and he felt her nuzzle deeper into his pelt. “Oh, Bah Humbug.”

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