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am i the only one who wants an au of the suitors being actual GOOD father figures to telemachus??

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yes, I'm self-aware thank you

ok i slept and ate food and now i will walk around

DC can pretend that Jason knows who Tim is but I know the truth

"Quit the singing and get on with it" -Neoptolemus

my roman empire is james and regulus being a couple for years as teenagers.

both men being teased for remaining chronically single.

james asking sirius about regulus, and being shut down with an "i dont want to talk about him,"

regulus staring at him during meal-times. his friends assumed he was looking at sirius.

james asking lily out, in seventh year, and everybody breathing a sigh of relief: "thank merlin, hes not queer"

regulus stiffening when "wouldn't it be nice" started playing.

james blatantly refusing to have his and lily's first dance to "can't help falling in love" for a reason nobody could quite understand.

regulus still smelling james in amortentia, even years afterwards.

james knowing something is wrong, in his gut. nobody believes him when he says that something terrible has happened.

no-one understanding, or wanting to understand, why james potter was so affected by his best friend's little brother dying.

james telling lily to run, but not moving. he wasn't scared; he'd see regulus again soon.

siblings in horror, you are so dear to me <3

"average greek pisses off 3 gods and demigods a year" factoid is actually just statistical error. average greek pisses off 0 gods and demigods per year. Odysseus of Ithaca, who is just going home & making a mortal enemy of yet another olympian each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

epic the musical shitpostage

THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY MADE MY FUCKING DAY

BRO WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE HES ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS 😭😭😭

You know how fanfic authors will over-describe their main?

Well we know Menelaus has reddish blond hair, Achilles is the most beautiful and has long, blond hair, Ajax the greater is huge and Diomedes has a foot.

Odysseus is shorter than Agamemnon, has curly blondish hair, a beard, wide shoulders, thick juicy thighs, a scar on his leg, and he seems a simpleton when he's not speaking.

I'm just saying, Homer was completely normal about Odysseus

Sorry I just couldn't resist!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don't you tell me this wasn't perfect?! Hahaha like come on everyone thought of that! 😂 (inspiration from Paris The Musical song "Business" because I just heard that specific song for the lolz 😆)

"diomedes is the iliads second achilles" idk tho last time i checked diomedes took a shot to the foot and walked it off because his boyfriend was still alive to cover him. put some respect on his name achilles is a lesser diomedes

my friend suggested that my Athena does the weird owl head tilt thing which is incredibly correct and real

dis one ^

What if Odysseus thought he was safe from Poseidon because he was on land and then a horse came up and just fucking kicked him

actually the fact that odysseus knew he'd be gone for 20 years makes the gears in my brain turn. You kiss your son goodbye knowing you will miss every milestone of his. He will be a grown man and will not remember you. You will be a father only by title. Your wife will lay alone in your wedding bed, she will wake and see the side you've slept on is empty. You won't hold each other for a long, long time. Your parents may not even be there to welcome you back. You know you will return, but the war stretches on and on. Your comrades fall. Your ships are on fire. Your best warriors are nothing but ashes in an urn. But it's eventually over, you can go home. But still, there's more time left. First it's a storm. It's winding up in strange lands. It's hunger. It's temptation. Your men grow weary. You have twelve ships and then you have one and then it's only you on a single timber. You know you will return, but everything has gone so horribly wrong that you can't help but wonder if the fates fooled you. Everyone you know is either dead or are living again. You are the only one stuck in between. Neither dead or alive. You sit on a beach staring out to the sea from the moments the birds sing til the sun dips over the horizon. Every day is the same - you sit on the stones and weep, you trek the shores, during the night you're in her bed. Your skin is cracked and sunburnt, your beard long and tangled, your hair etched with more and more silver hairs. Your eyes are dull, sunken. Your bones ache when you walk, your breath is shorter. The sun rises and sets. The waves wash away your footprints. You are growing old but the island is the same. You are left behind. Your home will change and you won't change with it. In fact, everyone will change, but you will not recognize what's different. Some of the lines under your eyes will be the hauntings of war, while your wife's will be from the sleepless nights of buying you time. You flinch when you see each other. You expected to see someone else, and she expected to see no one at all. You could once hold your boy in your arms, but now it feels like he's the one holding you. The trees in your orchard have grown taller. Some of the houses in your kingdom are empty. The children that sat on your knees now have their own children on their own knees - or they lie dead, by your own hand. Who are you? Who is your son, your wife? You will get to know each other, you will change together eventually. But there will still be something off, like a brick not fitting quite right in the foundation. Off like a living man among the dead, someone who wasn't fated to die, but was supposed to die a long time ago. A dead man among the living. You will not belong, even though you are the father of your son, the husband of your wife, the son of your father, the king of your land. There will always be something missing, something aching.

And you are willing to let it all happen when you lift your baby son from the field, away from the plow.

*Listening to The Underworld Saga on repeat*

welp. 1am. writing gay fanfiction time I guess.

iliad tumblr simulator

🦉 ithacasfavguy Follow

boss is asleep. currently on a quest to steal some wine

🦉 ithacasfavguy Follow

stop reblogging this i'm gonna get caught you fuckers

#/srs

(729 notes)

🌻 achilles Follow

hahaha it would be so funny if i got so deathly drunk my hot doctor boyfriend had to escort me to the infirmary and pin me down so i dont end up stabbing someone and holding me by the hair to force my chin up and make me drink medicine hahahahaha

#please #pleaseee #i am so gay rn

(2,486 notes)

🚬 menelaghh Follow

i miss my wife

(215 notes)

🦢 helen Follow

currently having the time of my life. everything is great. except my new husband. i hope he dies

#captive princess life

(8,632 notes)

🐌 patrokloss Follow

never thought id have to say this but please do not try to make homemade wine with random shit you find on the woods ?? a guy just died

#psa #medicine

(371 notes)

👤 hektoroftroy Follow

guys im gonna be honest the worst thing to ever happen in my life was my brother coming back

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

:((

👤 hektoroftroy Follow

you are literally on my DNI. this is your fifth account. please go away

(420 notes)

💪 jaxajax Follow

why are all the animals coughing to death?

#is this normal #vets of tumblr answer me

(13 notes)

🦦 die-a-medes Follow

these trojans ain't shit 😂😂😂 we'll be winning this easy fr

🦦 die-a-medes Follow

girl help it's been ten years

(824 notes)

👁 cassssandra Follow

being haunted by visions can be very fun actually

#therapist told me to be positive #trying

(5 notes)

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

hello

🐭 parisbutitsnotfrance Follow

stop telling me to kill myself???

(8,753 notes)

🌻 achilles Follow

i hope you nerds name men on men attraction after me when i die

#if this doesnt happen then what is the point

(10,942 notes)

Perseus: I'll kill anyone to defend my mom

Telemachus: I'll kill anyone my mom tells me to

Orestes: I'll kill my mom

big fan of the “I can’t fix him but I can follow him to his tragic and untimely end and love him even as he becomes corrupted and decays into a shadow of his former self” trope

Heracles: People often accuse me of having a favourite argonaut, but that’s just not true.

Heracles: I love Hylas and all the non-Hylas' equally.

My villain origin story is that Hylas and Atalanta are the most underrated argonauts so much that I didn’t know about them until very recently despite being into Greek mythology since I was five years old. Every book went “and all known heroes joined like Heracles and Orpheus and the twins winged sons of Boreas” FUCK the flying kids why did no one tell me about pretty boy Hylas who had the no. 1 Greek hero Heracles crazy over him or absolute badass queen Atalanta who hunted alone and took shit from no one?

Achilles and Patroclus // Apollo and Hyacinthus

Ganymede // Hylas

Narcissus // Orpheus

Artemis // Tiresias

LGBTQ+ Icons in Greek Mythology

In order: ”Achilles Lamenting the Death of Patroclus” by Gavin Hamilton // ”The Death of Hyacinthus” Nicolas-Rene Jollain // ”The Abduction of Ganymede” by Peter Paul Rubens // ”Hylas and the Nymphs” by John William Waterhouse // ”Narcissus” by Caravaggio // „Orpheus” by Paul Duqueylar // „Artemis” statue replica after Leochares // „Tiresias” by Johann Ulrich Kraus