Da Capo- Part 13- The Epilogue

Da Capo- Part 13- The epilogue

Part 1 to 5 // Part 6 to 12 //

TW- IMPLIED SOFT SMUT

La fin

The sweat trickled down his back in the obvious summer heat of June. The cascading sun was making everything hotter than usual and it seemed like the hottest day of the year. The hot heavy traffic that was normally very visible had vanquished in thin air, everyone avoiding to go anywhere out unless it wasn’t air-conditioned and yet, Harry was coldly staring at the lizard on the wall, basking in the sun and watching it change its position a few times in the last 5 minutes to eat any insect that came insight as if Mozart, the lizard Harry named had been so hungry after a fight with his wife that she refused to cook food for him or banished him from the house and asked him to look for his own meal and here he was eating whatever was available even if the aftertaste almost made him spit it out, he ate it because he had no choice left of his own but to fill his stomach with whatever was available for the mere survival. Mozart changed its position and ate his next prey and Harry interestingly watched as he tilted his head upward as though he enjoyed this one but Merlin knew if it was she or he but in his dead company Harry liked to think it was a He. Mozart swallowed another one and then remained still as the sun shone over his body and he relished as one does on the beach and didn’t sought to change his position anymore, as if he was already full, this thought disturbed Harry. How can someone be so done so quickly? Yet he kept staring at him, almost waiting for it changes its position anymore, he didn’t and Harry only broke out of his interesting watch show on Mozart until the church bell across the street had rung loudly and it suddenly reminded him to call Draco again, he awaited for an answer. 

He padded inside the living room barefoot, still very white as if they had been very cold and wiped the sweat off from his body with a small hand towel he had left on the couch and finally dialed Draco’s number in a haste and just as hastily as he had called, as hastily Draco had picked up, also very quickly like he had been waiting for the call for a very long time and he had just left his chair to finally give up or to bring a book to read while he waited for the call but just as he had gotten up, the phone had rung and he had sworn at it ‘why not when I was sat’ but he didn’t let it resonate in his voice. 

“I want to “ 

“ Are you sure ?” 

“ It would make me very Happy” and he could hear his smile on the phone as they chatted a little more, also making future arrangements. 

_________________________________

It had been 6 months or so, or maybe more since that call happened and they had stepped into a very different phase of their life. And right now Harry was happily hanging up the call with Molly after having learned on the phone to make Alison Roman’s swordfish with crushed olives and had just kept in the oven the pies to bake. Harry had been decorating the fish plate when the door opened and Draco walked in with his Bags with clothes enough to spend 4 days before they’d leave for New year’s eve. 

“You’re here” Harry happily said as he wiped his hands in a kitchen towel and wanted to help Draco’s bag into the living room but Draco had other plans and had pulled Harry in a compassionate kiss, not letting go until his heart had forgotten that he hadn’t kissed Harry in 3 weeks. 

“ So missed me ?” Harry teased very much aware that he was still holding onto his Kashmere maroon sweater. 

“ Very “ Draco smiled placing another small kiss on Harry’s lips and allowing the intimacy of his hand to run through his sweater as if he wanted so much more and yet nothing but enjoy the feeling of his sweater. 

“ I missed you too” Harry had said after the kiss, brushing some loose strands from off Draco’s face “ You had been growing hair ?” He asked 

Draco nodded happily “ something new to try, bored of the same old short blond hair” 

“Well I think they look absolutely wonderful, in fact I like the long hair better than the short ones, give’s me more to hold onto” Harry whispered until both of them grew more flustered till the point they couldn’t stop themselves from kissing again and this time devouring the taste of each other’s lips in their own and only then had Harry realized, it had been a long time since they last kissed this way. 

They broke apart to the sound of the oven going off, obviously.

“ So what have you planned for our special Christmas in Paris?” Draco finally asked pushing his bags into the living room corner and sitting down on one of the kitchen stools. 

“Well that is a surpise-” 

“ What ?” Draco interjected surprised. 

“ Yes, it is a surprise and I know I don’t normally do them but I thought it’d be nice for a change. In the meantime as I prepare the table why don’t you go and freshen up and say hi to your Trina “ Trina was the plant Draco had named, it had happened in one drunken night when Harry and he had returned stumbling from a Bar they found nearby and the conversation had funnily turned into why Plants don’t have a name like human does and why do they have to be called as their species name and how weird it would be to be called homo sapiens all the time, Therefore Trina. It was among the many habits they just grew into and couldn’t get rid off. 

Draco nodded and left to freshen up and say hi to Trina while Harry did as he had said, readied the table. 

“Hey, isn’t this the picture from the Last christmas ?” Draco asked as he walked into the living room with a framed picture in his hand he had found kept just over the fireplace. 

“ Oh yeah, I had forgotten about it until I was cleaning and had found it, then I just got it framed. Nice picture though right ?” Draco nodded and added that he too would like a copy so he can keep it too in his flat back in Britain.

It seemed wild how long ago the last Christmas seemed like, only last year had they spent Christmas in London and wandering off the city late at night after all the Christmas dinners. It was the best memory Harry had of Draco laughing. He remembers even that when he just wanted to hold Draco while they were walking miles to god knows where but the thought of just being together wrapped in fuzzy oversized sweaters and trench coat, Harry remembered wanting to be held and just hold so they had some memory of spending Christmas together because he was still so confused about everything that he was afraid that one day he himself would just flip the switch and would utter the words of not wanting to see him again but back then they weren’t together, they had been nothing more than friends until June when they had finally decided that they could no longer pretend they didn’t want each other in ways more than just a friend. It had resulted in a fight even that time but Draco had only left Harry with two options: one, either they could keep pretending they were fine not being each other, or second, they could do exactly what their hearts desired ignoring the uncertainty of everything, so did Harry wanted to? Harry did, he really did and until now he hadn’t regretted saying he wanted to except doing a long-distance relationship and more of a relationship on a phone call than in actual life but they had grown to love it, even if they sometimes resented it, it gave both of them their liberty yet didn’t leave them absolutely stranded. It was like Harry phrased, just what they needed.

They discussed over lunch about the evening plans to just wander off about in the city and see the decorations and stop by one of Harry’s readings he had to do at the community college. It was usual now, his readings at the community college and he absolutely loved them and so did Draco. It gave Harry a chance to explore his interests and illuminate his talents that were completely devoid of the talents he inherited from Magic, the whole magical world seemed so distant to Harry yet always with him. Draco nagged him a lot about using Magic in everyday life a lot for some basic things yet somehow a part of Harry when said goodbye to a lot of things, magic for some time became one of them but he knew one day he would find his ways back to the world where he belonged, just not yet. 

As decided they spent the day roaming around the city and later around the evening they headed to Harry’s reading. Draco promised to sit in the back without a word and just appreciate Harry from a distance while after the reading he would meet a few people while Draco would silently wait for him and ultimately they would head back to Harry’s flat. 

Harry folded and unfolded the paper a lot, stuffing it back in his coats pocket, he was suddenly aware of how nervous he really was even though he had done this a lot of times, yet he was. He adjusted the mic on the podium according to his height and glanced at the back to Draco who had raised a thumb at Harry wishing him a silent good luck, Harry fondly smiled and his worries seemed to dissolve little by little as he kept his eyes on Draco. It was Draco he ever needed to look at for his heart to race back to normal. Draco it was, it always had been, will be. 

“Bonsoir à tous” 

“ Cette poésie spécifique va pour le dos, qui n'ont absolument aucune idée de ce que je dis mais j'espère que vous comprendriez si seulement un peu”

(This one specific poetry goes for the in the back, who have absolutely no idea what I'm saying but i hope you would understand if only a little) 

A few turned their heads to look at Draco and a few just smiled like they just admired the existence of someone Harry was dedicating his words to.

“ Quand tu peux exister comment je ne t'aime pas “

(When you can exist how do I not love you. ) 

“ Je vois dans la façon dont tu passes ta main dans mes draps et me demande si c'est du coton“

(I see in the way you run your hand through my sheets and ask me if it's cotton) 

“ Je vois aussi dans ta façon de prendre nos photos encadrées et de sourire“ 

(I also see in the way you pick up our framed pictures and smile )

“ Je vois ce que nous avons perdu et je souhaite quand je te regarde de tout reprendre mais je t'aimais alors et je t'aime maintenant mais je ne peux pas te promettre de t'aimer pour toujours de la même manière parce que je ne sûr si j'existerai pour toujours“

( I see it what we've lost and i wish it when i look at you to take it all back but i loved you then and i love you now but i can't promise to love you forever the same way because I'm not sure if I'll exist forever) 

“ On ne sait même pas s'il existe pour toujours mais si c'est le cas, c'est dans tes yeux, dans tes bras, dans ton emprise, dans ton cœur, dans ton âme car tu existeras pour“ 

(We don't even know if forever exist but if it does, it is in your eyes, in your arms, in your hold, in your heart, in your soul because you will exist forever, i will not)

“ Parce que je ne suis qu'un mortel avec le même cœur et la même âme mais toi tu es extraordinaire"

( Because i'm just a mortal with the same heart and the same soul but you, you are extraordinary)  

“ Tu n'es pas que toi, tu es autre chose, quelque chose hors de ma portée” 

( You are not just you, you are something else, something beyond my reach )

“ Mais alors tu m'as voulu et donc me voici et je t'ai voulu beaucoup plus“

( But then you have wanted me and so here i am and I've wanted you much more )

“ Peut-être qu'il y a une raison pour laquelle je parle une autre langue, alors peut-être que tu trouveras mon amour plus qu'il ne l'est parce que l'amour est dans les mots n'est-ce pas, caché dans les langues” 

( Maybe there's a reason why i speak another language, so that maybe you find my love more than it is because love is in the words isn't it, hidden in languages )

“ Mais aujourd'hui si tu comprends ça, tiens moi dans tes bras ce soir, dans tes yeux et redemande moi si mes draps sont en coton “ 

(But today if you understand this, Hold me in your arms tonight, in your eyes and ask me again if my bed sheets are cotton)

“ Peut-être qu'alors je dirai que c'est de la soie pas du coton et ensuite nous nous emmitouflerions et nous dormirons à nouveau et puis je te dirais combien je t'aime, dis que quand tu existes comment puis-je ne pas t'aimer” 

( Maybe then i'll say that its silk not cotton and then we'd bundle up together and we'll sleep again and then i would tell you how much i love you, tell that when you exist how can i not love you )

The room broke in a minute applause then a little louder and some intrigued listener whipped their heads backward and ushered words in french to Draco. Harry smiled from across the room to Draco then finally got off walking only to him and kissing him on the face. 

“ un homme chanceux que tu es “ (one lucky man you are ) one of the readers there had told Draco. He had nodded his head as though he understood but as soon as Harry and Draco left the place, it was his first question. 

“ ne pas répondre “ Harry chuckled, intertwining their hands together and stumbling back to his place (not answering ) 

“ Guess i’ll have to relearn french after all” Draco rolled his eyes, Harry only laughed. 

____________________________________

Late at night when after the dinner they had finally decided to go to bed and Harry was stroking Draco’s arm softly, Draco turned a little to Harry, staring into his face but not saying anything. 

“ what ?” Harry asked 

“ You said something about me tonight didn’t you? That’s why everyone kept saying something or the other “ Draco said, his hand lying flatly over Harry’s bare stomach, enjoying the intimacy. 

“ For all you know I could’ve insulted you there” Harry chuckled 

“ But you didn’t, I know, It was in your eyes when you spoke, It wasn’t anything witty, it was from your heart “ Draco said 

“ Maybe I’m just good at acting” Harry shrugged jokingly. 

“ But you were not “ Draco blinked for a moment. Harry looked at him for longer than usual but didn’t say anything, he didn’t know how to. 

Draco kept his gaze on Harry until he sat upright, his back facing Harry and breathing minimally rapidly. Sighing, Harry too sat upright, placing his hand on Draco’s back, running his finger down his pointed spine, 

“ Does it matter what I say ?” Harry asked with his eyes closed, his chin resting on Draco’s shoulder. 

Draco shook his head and immediately turned to Harry, cupping his face in his own hands “It matters the most, what you say, it matters a lot” 

Harry blinked at Draco, taking his hands from the side of his face and kissing softly the inside of his palm, then his wrist, then his forearm over his mark, then his arms, then his shoulder, then behind his ear making Draco shudder with his eyes closing enjoying the feeling of Harry’s lips on his body, then Harry whispered in his ear 

“ I love you “ 

Draco opened his eyes instantly, creating a small distance to look at Harry and any signs of hesitation or reluctance or a forced look but there was none “ You love me ?”

“ I love you “ Harry nodded 

Draco blinked at Harry, then stared at him some more and then felt the tears prickle in his eyes, he didn’t know why he felt like crying but he felt like that, maybe it was the way Harry had said it, or maybe it was Harry had kissed him or maybe it was what Harry had said or maybe it was just Harry but the small tears that made his eyes glassy had been formed from peace and pleasure and love. 

“ I love you too “ Draco finally said it for the second time in his life to the same person but both the times had been so different, he had loved Harry even then but had he really loved him and meant it then, he wasn’t so sure but right now, he could move mountains to convince that he loved Harry and he did this time in a very real way. 

Harry’s eyes turned glossy too, his lips curved into a little smile. He enclosed any distance between them that their knees were touching and he kissed Draco’s ears again. 

“ Say that again” 

Draco’s head tipped back a little in pleasure but his hands finding their way into Harry’s hair and scratching his head a little, then traveling to behind his ear “ I love you “ 

“ Again “ Harry whispered kissing his mandible 

“ I love you “ Draco whispered his hands again in his hair. 

Harry separated from his body as if he still couldn’t believe that Draco had said it back, he smiled at him, then traced his fingers over his forehead, his eyebrows, his eyes, the curve of his nose, his cheekbones, the bottom of his lip, all over his face and Draco allowed Harry to as though in letting him touch him, he was confessing his I love you’s, still, as if he was the cloud and Harry had finally become lucky enough to touch them, run his hand through them. Harry touched him and Draco allowed himself to be touched and not just physically. 

Harry kissed his forehead then said it again “ I love you “ 

“ I love you too “ Draco sighed in calmness. 

“ I love you, “ Harry said again, kissing his eyes 

“ I love you too” “ It is real Harry, it is “ Draco replied, his eyes still shut. 

“ I know but I want to tell you I love you until my air runs out, I’ve waited long enough, I’ve wasted so much time and Days, I don’t want to this time, not this time,” Harry said kissing his cheeks, then his neck, then his clavicle, then his throat. 

“ I love you, “ Harry said it again and this time he kissed him over the lips. 

“ I love you too “ Draco sighed, falling back on the mattress taking Harry with him, allowing him to kiss every inch of his body and Harry kissed every inch of his body that even if Draco showered next morning, his love would still confide in every part of his body. Like his body was no longer just his own, it was embedded with Harry’s love and making sure every part of his body knew that Harry loved him and in the most real way that maybe even in his next life, his body would know it had been loved by none other than Harry. He was marking him and Draco allowed himself to be marked.  

_____________________________________

The next morning they both had woken up to the biggest smiles and smiled more when they remembered their night, it was so intimate that it was no imprinted in their heads that no matter wherever they might go, neither of them will be able to think of anything but that night of passion with each other. 

Draco prepared Harry breakfast in bed and they ended up repeating last nights event only it was repeated, everything from then on will be repeated because it was that one night and there can only exist that one night, the rest are just repetitions of event, a re-enactment of what had happened.  

They stayed in bed for the most part of the day, snuggled into the perfect christmas day until finally they had convinced themselves that they needed to get up eventually and Harry claimed that he needed to run some errands and some other things too, so they did get up. 

Draco was left alone for the most remaining part of the day because whatever Harry had left to do and the errands to run had been taking far too long but he kept himself busy, framing pictures of Harry he took the first time he came to Paris, sorted Harry’s sock drawer, made something to eat, watched a christmas movie and then had Harry returned. 

“Took too long “ Draco said as he entered the flat. 

Harry grinned at Draco then said “ Remember our Christmas plan, I have a surprise “ 

“ Now ?” Draco asked almost exasperated 

“ Yes, I’m taking you on a date so get ready,” Harry said hastily before kissing his face and dragging him to the bedroom. 

They both were dressing up and Harry had been putting on the shirt when Draco noticed “it's the same blowy shirt you took from me when we got together the first time “ 

Harry smiled, then nodded “ Still reminds me of you a lot, whenever you’re not here, I wear it and there you are” 

Draco smiled fondly and padded across the room and kissed Harry over the lips “ Now I’m here ” 

Harry only smiled. 

Once done with dressing up, Harry insisted Draco on wearing a blindfold and took him exactly where they needed to be, even though Draco expressed his worries a lot that he might fall. Harry only asked him to trust him. 

Upon reaching where they needed to be, Harry opened his blindfold and stuffed it in his pocket. 

“ so this is what you were doing after leaving me alone today” Draco teased after looking at the place Harry decorated, covered in snow too at the rooftop. 

“ Yeah, sorry about leaving you alone “ Harry rubbed the back of his neck chuckling, then asked for Draco’s hand to make him sit on the table he had arranged. 

“ You did all of this? alone ?” Draco asked curiously 

“ Thomas helped me “ Harry replied taking the chair in front of Draco’s “ Shall we?” he asked pointing to the food on the table. Draco nodded. 

“ So this was your special evening ?” Draco asked setting down his glass of champagne, then wiping his hand in a napkin. 

“ No actually- this is” Harry stood up from his chair and knelt down on one knee in front of Draco.

“ What-” 

“ Don’t worry it’s not a proposal “ Harry chuckled. 

Draco relaxed, then nodded for him to proceed but evidently couldn’t stop smiling. 

“ I thought of making a grand gesture but where we are, the grandest of them all is actually where we are so I decided to do this how I would’ve done it. I could’ve so easily done all of this anywhere else but this is where we are, right, in the heart of the city, right where we belong “ Harry smiled taking a short pause 

“ But I belong a lot more to you than anyone else and every time you go back to London you’re taking a piece of me away with you but it’d be soon when I’m not left with any but to take me and I want you to, I want you to take me with you, everywhere you go. So Draco, I’m asking you to move in with me wherever you want to because all that matters to me is that I’m with you “ 

Draco stared at Harry for a long moment before he broke into a grin and nodded “ I want to move in with you “ 

Harry smiled enthusiastically and immediately hugged Draco “I thought you’d had said it's too soon for us” 

“ But if not now, when, if not later, when “ Draco replied. 

Harry smiled then kissed him again. 

_______________________________________

“ Where to ?” he asked from behind the counter 

“ 2 tickets to London “ 

  <THE END>

Da capo - part 6

Trail post part 1 to 5

Ritenuto (Italian: ‘held back’)

Keep reading

tuck a cloud up under my chin

for the @drarrymicrofic prompt “lullaby”. the lullaby here is an actual song that i used to sing at summer camp- i couldn’t find a recorded version that’s sung that way i know it, but it’s a really beautiful and almost haunting melody. wc 304, rated G, no warnings. thanks to @lou-isfake for lookin over this!

“Bed is too small for my tiredness…”

“Hm?” Harry murmurs as he blinks into consciousness, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. He’s wrapped in warmth, and as he shifts a gentle hand comes up to cradle his cheek.

“Shhh,” Draco whispers, and Harry immediately settles back down into his husband's arms. “You were restless, I’m just singing. Go back to sleep.”

“‘Kay,” Harry whispers back. He tucks his nose into the crook of Draco’s neck, drifting back to a half-sleep as Draco’s hums low in his throat and pulls Harry closer. After a few moments of quiet, Harry shifts again. “Will you keep singing?”

“Oh,” Draco says softly. “Yes, alright.” He clears his throat as though embarrassed. Perhaps he is– Harry has only ever heard him sing along to the radio. Not like this, in the tender darkness of their room, his only accompaniment the hush of the winter wind outside.

“Give me a hillside of trees,” Draco sings, his voice low and wavering but true on the lilting notes. “Tuck a cloud up under my chin. Lord, blow the moon out please.”

“Where’d you learn this?” Harry asks against Draco’s skin.

“Hmm. My mother. It’s an old Muggle song, I think. She told me it was our secret.”

“‘S nice,” Harry says, heavy with sleep, and Draco exhales a soft laugh.

“There’s another verse.” Draco clears his throat again, singing along the same melody as before. “Rock me to sleep in a cradle of dreams. Sing me a lullaby of leaves. Tuck a cloud up under my chin. Lord, blow the moon out please.”

A realization coalesces in Harry’s mind, tender and lovely. “Do you always sing to me when I have nightmares?”

“I– I do,” Draco says softly, and Harry pulls him close, wrapped up in this gentle love.

same thing

Ghost man

A request from Instagram on Life of Draco Malfoy

It doesn't Sting, nor does it burn something inside, it doesn't change anything. Burning that list that he made notes of to how to be a man, now burning it didn't make any difference. It Only caused the smoke to go up his face, his fingers heating up as the spreading fire on the paper reaches closer to his fingers from which he held, the ashes falling in the bin he kept beneath. It didn't change anything, it doesn't move anything inside him as he thought it would and it didn't because now it was too late. He had only been a child, at a mere age of 16 when he had learned it was already too late, already too late to correct his mistakes, so Early in his life he was done with living, so young. So early in his life he knew it was too late, what child thought that ? Him. But now, it's far too late for anything to ever even be changed, he's already the man he loathes.

He can sense it when he looks at the flower vendor across where he lives, how his heart is rolled on his sleeve, how he always gives one rose to the little girl without cost and the guy behind the counter in departmental store who somehow always puts candies in Draco's bag for free or the girl who sits in the pharmacy who always happens to give him an extra strip of paracetamol or his friends from school who are still in touch and everyone once in a while meets up at a brunch and fight over who would pay but Draco, he's a ghost man just living in a mortal world. Where there should've been a heart, there's just a large black hole like somebody had taken it away ages ago and told him he didn't deserve it and gave it to someone who needed a heart. How do you survive without the heart? You don't, you're dead.

He's dead inside and out like the core of a log, he have been for a long time but sometimes his non existent black holed heart twitches for love, a forbidden love even perhaps or any kind of love. He's on all the pages of business magazines, in articles over front pages of newspapers, he's one of the most successful event planner in and outside wizarding World, almost a celebrity, the worth, the fame, the money he have and all for nothing. What wouldn't he do to just trade it to go back to his manor when he was five years old and frolick and roll around in the grass rather than sitting on the table being taught table manners. What wouldn't he do to trade to get a time turner so he could undo his life. What wouldn't he trade to just feel loved, not just true love but the love that is poured out from the heart of a mother to the son in a night tales, the love that is given by his father in a sweet licorice candies, the love that a friend gives when they kiss their cheeks, the love that is shared between friends, the love that could be shared by lovers. What wouldn't he do to trade his life to be the flower vendor across the street or the girl at the pharmacy or to be the guy from departmental store or his friends, just to feel loved and maybe cherished and Just to be offered a little smile as he would walk to his office but nothing would be traded because nothing is worth the trade, it was all too late to press the button of life and change it. It was far too late, he had already been neglected by the father who was supposed to love him, already been with a mother who talked more of the events and his work than asking how's he been, he had already been the friend everyone just thinks is suitable for a one night stand, he had already been the friend everyone was intimidated of, he had already been the guy who's been hated by so many out of spite and jealousy.

But it's not like he didn't had everything. He had everything. Everything he didn't want including the perfume that rests in the back of his wardrobe he got it when he was merely 14, the silk pajamas that are far too itchy to be worn, the tuxedo he no longer fits in and 10 more which he doesn't even like, the bean bag that had never been sat on, the expensive china he never had anyone to even share with, the expensive watches his mother bought him which now are almost 6 Years old and had stopped working, the expensive bed sheets gifted by someone that is somewhere in the attic that he Never would use, the expensive wallet that he can never for the life of him change to because he's grown attached to his 8 year old wallet, the snow globe he got when he was only 7 that sits on his showcase he rarely ever even sees, the cuff links his father bought him when he was 15 on Christmas that he had only worn in the day of Christmas and never sought to even spare another glance at it, he had everything yet, he had absolutely nothing, he lived in an Empty place all by himself to share nothing with no one.

He thinks a lot of the times when he was so frustrated at his parents, at his teacher's, at his friends, at the people, at the world, everyone, when he just wanted to change to someone who was a better person, who gave free potion lessons to young pupils, someone who wasn't arrogant and had been in one book nerd clubs, someone who wasn't thursted upon with decision like who to be be, what to become, someone who was allowed to make mistakes, someone who was allowed to spill over the table, someone who wasn't forced to be the top of the class, someone who wasn't ashamed of himself, someone who had his own life he curated but he wasn't that person and he was never going to be because there's just so little left in his life to change that now the deadness that flows in him forbids him to even try to change anything. He wishes a lot that he had someone like Harry Potter had to tell him what's wrong, to help him create a good path, to tell him that his life was his own, people who might've even praised him and loved him but he had none and he was convinced that he was never going to find anyone. Who would want to be with a dead man?

And so where he sits right now burning the list of things he had made notes of how to be and who to become, it doesn't change anything and he lights his cigarette from the burning fire, letting the burning paper slip from his hand and drop into the bin after it had burnt his dead finger's. He holds the cigarette between his finger and walks over to the balcony of his dead like apartment and brings the cigarette to his lips, he doesn't like the taste, but the likes how it's killing him. The power of cigarette was infact in the fact that it burnt his lungs, killing him slowly, that was now his purpose of life, wasn't it?

REQUESTS OPEN / PREVIOUS FICS

Hi, I hope you're doing great. I have a request for you : Harry knowing how to do pottery and Draco being the only one who knows it. Thanks.

So yes, a while ago i had actually been tagged in a post to write a one shot where Harry knows Pottery and Draco finding out one day and Harry makes all sorts of weird potteries while Draco is flustered. I never really got the chance to write it however or as i'd like to put it I forgot( i tend to a lot these days) but here we are now.

TW- NSFW | EXPLICIT WORK | IMPLIED SMUT

Voldemort with a hat by Harry potter

" no, don't- Draco don't open that- door-" but it was too late and Draco had already tripped over and held the handle for support and unlocked the whole Narnia.

" I told you not to open that door " Harry grumbled as he held his hand for Draco to take.

Draco tipped his head back off on the ground, then looked at Harry above him holding his hand out " you do pottery ?"

" yes yes very funny, Potter potters, now get up " Harry rolled his eyes.

Draco laughed hysterically making Harry groan louder and leaving him on the ground.

" it's not that funny " Harry's monotonously said

" it's hilarious " Draco was still laughing on the ground, his hands clench his stomach.

" I swear if you tell this to anyone, I'm gonna put you into one these potteries and sell it to the French " Harry threatened.

"But please, I can imagine the witch weekly article's and daily prophets front page article " the chosen one chose pottery " " and he tipped his head off laughing again.

Harry kneeled down over Draco, grabbing his collar to make his point clear " I mean it Draco, you tell anyone you're dead"

It took Draco a minute but he took his threats even though he knew Harry was only just words and got up by the help of Harry.

" it's still funny "

" say that one more time and I'll break your face " Harry growled, his chest pressed against Draco's.

" Woah, easy there tiger " and he laughed off again, walking away from him and picking up random antiques from shelf after a while then keeping them back again.

" you're an arse " Harry rolled his eyes, then locked the pottery room.

" you bet I am " Draco challenged smugly.

Harry just shook his head and then ended up laughing himself, he really was an arse.

That was how Draco discovered Harry's secret about pottery and had sworn to his secrecy but not once had he actually seen any of Harry's pottery or even working on his potteries that Draco almost believed Harry never made them but he was sure he had glanced into the secret room and saw a few ceramics although his tinge of curiosity always wanted to know what Harry made. His curiosity came to a halt on one late afternoon when Draco had given Harry a surprise visit and there he was standing in nothing but pants with what looked like mud or clay on his chest. That was the first time Draco was embarrassed to have stared at Harry long enough for him to pull off a smug look and cross his arms.

" body staring contest is over mister, can I escort you inside ?" Harry smirked turning around.

" I was just stating at how hideous your body is " Draco obviously lied, he looked like a damn Greek god and a good one at that.

" yeah sure seemed like it " Harry mumbled taking a bottle out of fridge and handing it to Draco.

" what were you doing ?" Draco asked curiously still trying hard to just look at his face and not his totally lick-able body.

" what do you think I was doing, I'm covered In mud and clay" Harry voice reached a higher octave scrunching his face.

" playing in your garden " Draco pursed his lips from laughing.

" you think you're so funny " Harry rolled his eyes " besides my Garden is all cemented, there's just a few pots " He added.

Harry turned around walking towards his pottery room or what seemed like.

" what are you doing here anyways?" Harry asked momentarily turning around.

" I was bored " Draco mumbled putting the bottle back in the fridge and walking after Harry.

Harry frowned then nodded in agreement "well, you're welcome to the abode " Harry said as he spread his arms when he entered into his pottery room, secret pottery room.

"so this is your Narnia " Draco joked entering the room behind Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes then stood before the counter which Draco couldn't the hold of what he was doing.

" so what sort of potteries do you make ?" Draco asked moving around in the room.

" Take a look yourself" he replied distractedly.

Draco shrugged then moved further into the room towards the shelves against the walls and watches curiously.

" what is this ? " Draco scrunched his face in confusion as he picked one of them up and showing it to Harry who now was sat in front of the pottery wheel, the the dough of clay placed in the center.

" I think that's a vulva " Harry replied before he carefully examined. Draco blushed then set it down.

" so erotica is your thing then ?" Draco asked as he saw a few more.

" no not necessarily, there's more stuff " Harry replied putting on a hairband to keep his hair off his forehead, then Turned on his wheel. Totally arousing to Draco, not that he admitted it though.

" yeah, like this octopus " Draco Almost wanted to laugh but didn't.

" yeah like that octopus " Harry Chuckled and Draco noticed ad he wet his hands and slapped the dough of clay. Draco almost yelped then turned around flustered to other shelf.

" oh- an ass shaped vase " Draco announced amused.

" oh yeah- one of the bests " Harry laughed shortly from the other end of the room.

Draco roamed a bit more and found more potteries like naked womans, vulvas, naked mens, different asses, octupus, a weird sort of fish, a few sober vases, an eye, a sort of alien, frog with wings, lizard with long legs, a weird looking lady with dropped eyes, and-

" Voldemort with a hat- I've never seen anything more funnier " Draco laughed. Harry laughed too.

" it was on war memorial day- he looks Pretty doesn't he, I want to paint him too actually, maybe make him have red lips and wear eye make-up " harry joked laughing.

" bet it'd be fun " Draco smiled.

Draco finally crossed the room and leaned against the door watching Harry wet his hands and clay over and over again then shaping the clay.

" what are you making ?" Draco asked, his arms crossed.

" I don't know" Harry shrugged " any suggestions ?"

Draco puckered his lips thinking for a moment then laughed at his own self.

" what is it ?" Harry insisted.

" you'll laugh at me " Draco replied

" I'm gonna do that either way- so tell me " Harry shrugged.

" what about a penis or a dildo " And then Draco laughed at himself again whereas Harry only frowned and nodded.

" wanna try with me ?" Harry asked finally.

Draco could've so easily said no because he didn't want to get his cloths dirty or clay in his nails and his hands all wet but when Harry Potter is sitting in front of you with a head band on and shirtless and a serious look on his face, he obviously couldn't deny even if he wanted to.

So they sat, face to face and Harry guided Draco along the way.

" wet your hands again " Harry instructed and Draco did so.

" now, since we've done centring, we need to get on with opening and then we'll begin shaping Alright, Just follow my hands "

Draco nodded.

Harry placed his hand at the bottom while Draco Just above his and they began work on the opening.

" press your thumb on thr centre" Harry instructed but Draco didn't get it so he placed his hands over Draco's and helped him shape the opening. And slowly and slowly he moved with Draco's hand up and down shaping the pottery.

" thick or thin ?" Harry asked suddenly.

Draco croaked then cleared his throat "whatever's fine"

" thick then. You sure you can do it ?" Harry asked and even though Draco nodded, he couldn't help but wonder if there was any other meaning to his question.

Harry moved his hands up and down along with those Draco's and shaping it just fine but the more Draco noticed theirs hands going up and down to keep the pottery steady, the more he could feel getting strangely hot, maybe it was just the room or maybe it was watching Harry or it was doing pottery with Harry but whatever it was, Draco didn't like it.

" I think the base is alright, with the balls-" harry smiled " now we go for the head- you wanna give the head?"

" the what ?" Draco exasperated. Maybe he should've paid more attention.

" the head. The head of this pottery, the penis. You wanna try giving it the head or should I help ?" Draco Could've sworn he saw him smirking but he kept his head down. Harry was definitely doing it on purpose, or was he ? Or was it just Draco ?

" guide me through it " Draco innocently replied, or tried to.

" well then, keep your pinky finger right here then cone the rest of your hand to give it a round shape " Harry guided.

" slow and steady- not too fast- it's just a hand job-"

" a what?" The pottery could've almost collapsed if Harry had not managed to save it just at the right time.

" it's hand work Draco- just a hand work- what's up with you ?" Harry Chuckled.

Draco visibly relaxed. He definitely needed some air. He wasn't usually so flustered and out of zone around Harry but something about doing it with Harry was intoxicating , almost addictive yet brilliantly breath taking.

" nothing- just zoned out " Draco mumbled and they went back to shaping the head carefully.

Harry guided through again until they were almost done " here, you just move your hand up and down there and I'll do better the head"

Draco blushed again but nodded and steadily moved his head up and down of what was the length of the pottery penis while Harry finely with the help of a wire shaped the it more accurately.

They did that 5 more minutes until Harry moved his hand away and watched Draco.

" No- don't- not yet " Harry cut off as Draco was almost about the take off his hands too. Flustered Draco nodded and kept moving his hand up and down in a fist until Draco finally understood what was happening with Harry's smug look, immediately took his hands off the pottery and stood up, Washing his hands.

Harry chuckled then Turned off the pottery wheel and left the made pottery over it and got up himself " I'm sorry if that was uncomfortable- but it was your idea " he shrugged wiping his body with a wet towel to get rid of the clay that splattered over him.

" no it was alright- it was just a pottery " Draco mumbled drying his hands off in a clean towel.

" still- I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, wasn't my intention- I should've Suggested a simple vase or something like that instead of making a peni-" and his voice died out in his throat as Draco pushed him backward and kissed him over the lips in a rapid urge that he had been holding onto ever since he got there, ever since the first he learned Harry did pottery, ever since all the first times and here was his opportunity, if Harry pushed away then be it but he didn't push him away instead he grabbed his waist and pulled him closer, leaning against the counter behind him and devouring Draco's lip as enthusiastically and as eagerly.

" I'm glad we did that " Harry said when they broke apart for a moment to reach for breath before they could've begun again.

" the Pottery or this ?" Draco asked, his lips not an inch further from Harry's.

" both " and they kissed again, tumbling what was left more of the counter to get over it.

" to the bedroom ?" Harry asked pulling away. Draco thought for a moment before he nodded and they moved out of his Pottery room and into his bedroom on the same floor.

" listen before we do this- can I just say, this isn't just one time thing for me " Harry said as he shut the door behind them.

" neither for me " Draco smiled.

" so you- you'd like to go out sometime ?" Harry asked

" would love to " Draco smiled again and Harry kissed him again not breaking the stance from before and maintaining the eagerness to get into bed and remain nothing more than breathless naked people.

Guess that penis pottery worked out well after all.

Requests open / previous fics

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES !!! WHYYYYY, THIS IS SO GORGEOUS.

Hi there! Hope you're doing well and wishing you all the best, kick recovery's arse! Or something actually encouraging? As for prompts, how about funky socks? anything to do with wardrobe, really? fluffy jumpers, soft scarves, whatever tickles your fancy (and no worries if not!) 💖

Thank you for both the well wishes and the prompt! This isn't beta read, so if you see any glaring errors, feel free to let me know 😆 - GB

The first time that Draco noticed, they were in the Eighth Year common room. Harry Potter was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the fire, and his trousers had ridden up just enough to show a couple of inches of his socks—or, to be more specific, his horrible, brightly colored, mismatched socks. From what Draco could tell, one was a rather violent shade of orange, while the other seemed to be vertically striped in yellow and blue. On anyone else, he would have assumed that it was intentional, but Potter’s fashion sense had always been a lost cause. He probably just didn’t care enough to bother pairing them. Draco promptly decided to put the whole thing out of his mind—what did he care about Potter’s footwear, anyway?

—

The second time was several weeks later, in Charms. People were so obsessed with Potter after the war that it honestly wasn’t all that surprising when someone “accidentally” vanished his uniform. Surprise or no, though, Draco had to admit that Potter’s nearly-nude body was rather eye-catching. From his seat in the very back of the room, he allowed himself the guilty pleasure of a slow perusal of all that smooth, pale skin, interrupted only by plain black boxer briefs and a pair of socks. Or, rather, two socks that were very much not a pair, one being a dizzying pattern of abstract neon shapes and the other a dark green dotted with little owls that was at least an inch longer than the other. A snort of laughter from Pansy, who was seated to his left, effectively snapped Draco back to reality so that he could glare at her. “I was only wondering why he’s wearing such hideous socks,” he defended.

“Sure you were,” she answered patronizingly.

“I was!” he insisted. “He’s a grown man, it’s pathetic that he can’t even match his own clothes.”

Pansy shrugged. “Maybe it’s laundry day.” In front of them, the class was still in chaos, with a bright red Potter being hastily wrapped in Weasley’s cloak, which was rather too long for him, effectively hiding his ankles from view once more.

—

The third time was after their graduation ceremony. It was an unseasonably hot day, and by some sort of unspoken agreement, almost everyone was stripping down to their skivvies and diving into the bracing cold of the lake. It was a complete coincidence that Draco just happened to be looking in Potter’s direction as he undressed, of course, but as he was, he couldn’t help but notice yet another non-pair of ugly-as-sin socks: red and black tartan on one foot, rainbow print on the other. When Draco’s gaze moved back upward, he realized with a humiliating jolt that Potter was watching him, as well. When their eyes met, Draco hastily looked away, ignoring Pansy and Blaise snickering beside him. “It’s just the socks,” he muttered defensively. “Why can’t the git just match his stupid socks like a normal person?”

“Why don’t you go ask him?” Pansy suggested with a Cheshire Cat grin.

Draco scoffed and pointedly did no such thing.

—

The fourth through tenth times happened in the locker rooms of the Ministry after they wrapped up the sparring classes that made up one of many aspects of their first year of Auror training. Stripes, polka dots, or checks; cats, bicycles, or strawberries; thick or thin; tall or short; the only pattern that Draco could find was that they be as different from one another as possible. The eleventh time—blue roses against a purple background on the left, silver and black spiderwebs on the right—finally pushed him over the edge.

“For Merlin’s sake, Potter, why can you not, for a single day, wear a pair of socks that actually match? I know you’re a certified fashion disaster, but you can’t possibly be so oblivious that you think that those—” and here, he gestured at Harry’s still-stockinged feet, “even remotely go together.”

To Draco’s surprise, Potter’s face didn’t default to the scowl he had been expecting. Instead, it went sad, and then blank. “It’s in memory of a friend,” he said shortly. Efficiently stripping the remainder of his clothes off, he stepped into a shower, turning his back and ignoring Draco completely. A knot of regret settled into Draco’s stomach, and he finished his own post-exercise routine without a word.

—

The 50th or so time—Draco had lost count, eventually—happened on their third date. They were curled together on Harry’s bed, sweaty, breathless, and still partially clothed, having been too impatient to bother getting completely naked before they could get their hands and mouths on each other. Letting his gaze travel down their entwined legs (which they had, in fact, managed to undress), Draco looked at their still-socked feet, which contrasted markedly with each other: Draco in plain, black dress socks and Harry sporting one sock that had a large cat’s head printed across the toes and one featuring Van Gogh’s Starry Night. Draco ran his own foot lightly across Harry’s.

“Will you tell me who they’re for?” he asked quietly.

After a few moments of silence, during which Draco just had time to panic that asking had been a huge overstep, Harry answered, his voice soft. “His name was Dobby. He was a house elf.”

“I think I remember Dobby.” Draco furrowed his brow. “He was one of ours, wasn’t he? He sometimes took care of me as a child. He would read me stories. He disappeared, though, at some point.”

“I freed him.”

There was obviously more story there, but Draco decided that it could hold for another day. Instead, he asked, “How did he die?”

“Saving my life. Not long after you did the same, actually.” Harry paused, and Draco pretended not to notice the hand that came up to wipe his eyes. “Bellatrix killed him.”

“I’m sorry,” Draco said, meaning it.

“Me, too.” Wrapping an arm around Draco, Harry pulled him closer.

—

On their next date, Draco’s socks didn’t match, either.