One Where They Died Together

One where they died together

For @drarrymicrofic prompt : sleepy

TW- DEATH!

" can you-" he gulped down his tears, bringing his breath back from erratic " can you- hold on to me ?"

Harry leaned down pressing his forehead against his, his tears dropping over draco's soft cheeks.

" of course " harry whimpered holding onto draco's wounded body.

Draco breathed in his scent, his tears, his eyes, his lips, his nose, his face, just him, retaining him in his memory one last time and he finally slept with his eyes closed shut and soul evaporating in dust.

Harry too had slept just after one more moment so he when he meet him again, he could tell draco how still beautiful he looked, how even in those moments he was more beautiful than that beautiful palace they got Buried under.

Random I guess.

For the 300 followers prompts, number 26!!!

Since this idea was worth almost crashing while riding my bicycle listening to Heather, so here we go.

Your tiny safe box

Dialogue prompt - 26. " You love me like I'm the only person who deserves your love " " but you are the only person who deserves my love " | STORY TELLING | mild hurt comfort |

For @cupofsquirrelfan, thank you for requesting this prompt.

I remember the day when for the first time you stirred something inside me. It wasn't disastrous but my heart became a traitor and I forgot what it felt like to see you otherwise. You had stood before me and awkwardly apologized for everything you've ever done me bad for but I could see it how hard it was for you, I think I accepted your apology never knowing it'd ever turn into something so beautiful.

I remember when I first saw your smile, first saw you laughing, the Actual laughing, not the snickering or laughing at insults, you laughed at a joke I told and my threefold heart raced once again. I never knew a smile could be so beautiful and a sound could ever be more homely but there was you, so breath takingly and effortlessly beautiful. But I think you had swore to the lords to always prove me wrong, no matter what.

I also remember when you told me you were getting engaged. I was perhaps not in love with you then but I might've been falling anyways but I knew it when it stung me like all the bee's kept sucking my blood but I smiled because you had to go back to your hive. I didn't stop you and when I finally saw you getting married,I finally realised how much I loved you. I should not have fallen for you, I knew it but I think my heart never really ever belonged to me after you had apologized, after you had smiled at me, after you had laughed with me, after you had held my hand in a casual touch, after you had given me the simplest reasons to sleep at night with a smile upon my face. It started belonging to you somewhere along the time and even then I didn't complain. You had two hearts, one of hers and one of mine but then again you are a real charming heart throb, only I wished you had chosen mine.

But I settled for being your best friend, your single best friend you set unsuccessful dates up on, your friend you watched the quidditch match with every Friday night, your friend you went shopping with, your friend who gave you advise on what to gift next, your friend who took you out on Saturday's just so you got out, your friend who sang with you the chorus of endless love , your friend who lied about not having found the one, you friend who gave you marriage advise, I settled for it all as long as I had you near me. I settled knowing that i didn't do a sin confessing how I felt about you even though it hurt me Everytime I saw your face with your new wife. I settled for less.

But I remembered how happy you were after you had gotten married, how happy you were when you saw the bride walking down the isle, how happy you had been with the girl who you thought was from your dreams, how happy you were when you Returned from your honey moon, how happy you were when you knew you were expecting a baby, how happy you had been all along and I wondered what would had happened if I had been the one giving you that happiness but it didn't matter because one look at you and your wife, I'd known you'd never had chosen me.

But then one day you knocked on my door, you looked tired and I summoned you inside my house, offered you tea and you talked, you talked and you talked, and finally you told that you needed a divorce. I was shook because I thought you were the happiest couple in the world but you had told me how one perceives their relationship, how it was all about concealing, that you hadn't been happy after third year of marriage, that you didn't even sleep in the same room anymore. I was confused and you told me you were Afraid you couldn't do this but I remember giving you advise to work on your marriage again, to give her another chance because I could see in the little flickers in your eyes that you looked for that answer, you hoped I'd answer for you to try again. You might've thought why I had told you this but I was in love with you, I knew what you needed to hear be it if it was a pain to me, I gave you what you needed to hear and you left that night repeating that you'd give the marriage another try and I thought that was it for me. I thought this was my last straw, that I should move on after all this time.

And I did, or at Least tried to, I tried dating people, I went off, had fun with other people but their eyes didn't blink the same way, their smile didn't cage my heart, their lips didn't quirk the same way, their eyes didn't smile with their mouth, their hands were not as warm, their body was not as warm, them sharing their jacket wasn't the same, nothing was the same Because it wasn't you. I remembered I cried then the first time realising how foolishly I had been in love with you all these years that my heart didn't yearn but for you and you were there giving your marriage another try. I remember I stood before your House that very night, thinking I couldn't hold it anymore, that you needed to know but I couldn't do this. I loved you too much to snatch you away from Someone you love.

But thing's were never supposed to be that simple Because the day you turned to me for comfort again, you told me you knew my secret. I had asked what secret but your eyes spoke for you. I didn't say anything to you after that, I didn't comment because I had no agreeing to do nor denying, I was in love with you, how could I not be. But then you asked me something so unusual that I never thought you'd ask me in my entire life.

" why ?"

I frowned asking you what that why had been for.

" when that women couldn't love me, why do you ? Why have you loved me for long enough than my wife have ? How have you ?"

And I smiled at you, telling you how I didn't fell in love with the way you talked or the way you smirked or the way you dressed up or the way you learnt things, I fell in love with you because you became someone that was so hard to become, I fell in love with you because you're ugly too like me with scars that remained with you, I fell in love with you because you reminded me of spring, I fell in love with you because you had told me one day that a garden isn't dead until the last of the grass twig have dried up, I fell in love with you and not your things or your Beauty but your brain, your heart and you.

You had stared at me for long enough perhaps figuring out what to reply, but I didn't need one. I had caged my feelings in a tiny safe box and now I had given it to you and it was only yours now.

And after I had thought you wouldn't say anything else you told me

" you love me like I'm the only one who deserves your love "

" but Draco, you are the only who deserves my love "

And you had smiled at me, faintly telling me with your sparkling eyes you had loved me too someday, maybe yesterday, maybe an year from before, or maybe the first time we met in the robe shop but you had loved and I had loved you too.

But it was about starting new. You told me to start new, you told me you had to start new and so the next morning you came to my House with those signed divorce papers and then only you filled my brimming pot seeking a kiss from you, you finally kissed me like you had been saving yourself for me for ages and I had too..

We had lost so much time, I told you but you only replied

" if this life isn't enough, I'd find you again in the next and then there won't be Anyone for me but you "

Sorry for such a short prompt.

300 followers appreciation dialogue prompt requests open

Angst prompts request open

hi! hope you're having a great day. just dropping in to say I absolutely love your writings.

prompt request: 15 from 300 followers appreciation post.

have a great day. absolutely love your work <3

Thank you so much anon. Ngl since the moment I put out this list, I had been most excited to write this one out and I don't know how this one turned out.

Just petty things

Dialogue prompt- 15. You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions | Fluff ( ig) | ENEMIES TO LOVERS |

"oh yeah, watch me malfoy " harry sneered taking the bottle of expensive champagne and pouring it down the drain with draco watching him with horror Struck upon his face

" oh, oops. Hope the bottle doesn't empties- oh wait- it already is empty " harry shook the bottle over draco's face in mockery

" you moron. It was fine champagne imported from France. Do you even know how much it costed ?" draco sneered at harry grabbing his wrists harshly

" what you gonna do about it? Ruin my food ? No wait, you actually already did that " Harry raised his eyebrows grinning viciously

Draco scowled at harry angrily before he jerked away Harry's hand's away.

" ruin my food one more time and I'll throw you out " harry threatened

Draco clenched his jaw angrily murdering harry inside his head..

" you wait and watch " draco challenged harry before he storming back to his room.

" oh yeah. I am sure I can handle you " harry yelled.

Draco turned around dramatically, his face red from all the anger " you couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions " he yelled and slammed his bedroom door shut.

Harry too stormed away in his room slamming the door after him, angrily. Bless those door hinges.

Despite the rivarly dying out ages ago and the reconciliation followed after that, they still annoyed the living death out of each other with petty fights almost everyday. Originally the apartment is Harry's but after Blaise had came to live with him, it partially became his until the moment Blaise wanted to settle down and move in with his girlfriend. So being the nice flatmate he was he got harry an anonymous partner who by claims had been extremely nice, organised, clean and a great friend. Of course Blaise didn't mention " also your childhood enemy " or he necessarily didn't. Either way it didn't work out of course but since the rent act started stirring up in the public, it became Incredibly hard for draco to find another apartment and now here they were, 2 months in living together, messing each other's daily life and petty fighting.

" I'm telling you Blaise, he drive's me nuts " harry groaned as he pointed at Draco.

" oh I drive you nuts, excuse me, you drained my entire fucking bottle of champagne, of course I'll drive you nuts " draco narrowed his eyes at harry.

" you Drained his bottle of champagne ?" Blaise asked harry with an amused reaction sitting on the centre couch.

" well- he- he cut all my avocados, scooped out the insides of it and left the seed and not only that, he added Scotch to my lasagna " harry accusing-ly pointed his finger at draco.

" you did that ?" Blaise laughed looking at Draco

" Blaiseee " harry sternly voiced

" oh, no you're Right. Of course, you shouldn't had done that no matter how good it actually was,you shouldn't had. You know he loves avocados " Blaise nodded.

" but-"

" no really draco. I mean it. He's very serious about his food, even when I lived with him " Blaise added

" I need him out of here " harry added

" what ? You can't do that-"

" I can, if you're forgetting this apartment is originally mine " harry interjected draco.

" okay, whoa whoa, calm down. Nobody's getting thrown out alright. Just take a deep breath and we'll talk about this- well your differences alright "

" you know it's all your fault. You should've never bought a flatmate without asking me "

" me? I thought I was helping you out " Blaise defended himself

" well clearly not " harry shook his eyes head with wide eyes, crossing his arms over his front.

Blaise huffed a breath gulping down the rest of his coffee and turned to draco.

" you want to move out ?"

" what- no. I mean yes I don't want to live with him but I don't want move out " draco replied furrowing his eyebrows.

" see, Harry, he doesn't want to move out-"

" he's doesn't want to live with me Blaise. Clearly we're on the same side " harry faked a smile at draco.

Blaise looked up at the ceiling in annoyance before he got up from the couch to make his point " do you both realise you're adult's. Because it seems otherwise. I'm tired of listening to your petty fights and the pranks and the revenge. Why can't you two just like normal civil people? I thought you both had reconciled "

" look I know it's hard for both of you but you guys are the most incredible flatmates I've ever had alright and I know you two are better than this. So please, just please starting acting like you're actually 22 and if you can't be around each other then just- just ignore another alright. Don't talk " Blaise raised his eyebrows waiting for a reply before harry did

" I can work with not talking " harry mumbled.

" I'm good at ignoring " draco mumbled too.

" see, now that's the spirit. Now I have to go,I have a lunch with Sophie's parents, can I trust the two of you to not get involved into another fight ?" Blaise asked with raised eyebrows.

" good " he huffed when neither replied and took his jacket and decided to walk out with harry and draco following after him.

" just " he breathed " be nice to each other alright. You don't even have to talk "

" we can handle ourselves. We're not kids " draco rolled his eyes

Blaise opened his mouth to say something but shut it right off and gave draco a firm smile and left, with almost zero hope that it worked out.

Well it only worked partially. They ignored each other of course but still couldn't bear the thought of the other, which was somehow a progress and Blaise was rather proud because for the first time in 2 months they didn't wanted to kill each other.

Or so he thought thing's were better until a week later when Draco found harry making out with someone on the couch in the living room. Well he was decent enough not to shout till the date left.

" I sleep on that couch sometimes " draco disgustingly said as a shiver ran down his spine.

" well that's your problem. You have perfect bedroom for sleeping " harry rolled his eyes opening the water bottle and drinking from it..

" I don't care, the couch is off limits " draco snapped

"you don't tell me what is off limits and what's not-"

" i sure can. This is as much as of an apartment as much as its your " draco threw at harry.

" well this is my house, I can kiss anyone I want, wherever I want and whenever I want and you cannot boss me " harry Snapped back stepping closer to draco to make his glaring more threatening.

Draco flared as he stepped closer " you can not "

" yes I can " harry titled his head

" you cannot " draco widened his eyes

" what you gonna do about it ?" Harry egged him on.

Draco breathed sharply before he stepped back throwing his hands in the air " I can't believe you. You think this, everything is yours. Why am I be surprised though, it has Always been yours , hasn't it. Oh I'm harry potter, the world is all mine, I am praised everywhere I go with posters still upon the wall with my huge fanbase and everybody gushing over me. I'm so great, I'm brilliant. Maybe I should get a pedestal to stand on, oh wait I already built myself one " draco shouted

Harry crushed the bottle in his hand before he jerked forward grabbing draco by his collar " you- fucking- asshole. You take that back "

" oh I'm sorry did that hurt you? I won't take it back, you wanna punch me for that " draco asked raised his eyebrows, his hands steady by his sides

" you do not fucking know anything about my life. I'm giving you a warning to shut up-"

" or what? You're gonna punch me, as if you have the guts " draco sneered

" don't tempt me malfoy-"

" oh, I am scared. Save it potter. You can never punch me " draco narrowed his eyes at harry

Harry heaved heavily as he grabbed onto draco's collar tighter but didn't make a move to actually punch him, though his anger was getting out of control.

" you know what, you were better before I got you out of prison. Should've left you there to die " harry didn't mean to say it out loud but he did and it took him exactly a second to realise what had he done and regret immediately flooded in him as he saw draco's lip twitch and the look of pain crossing his features.

" you're right. You should've left me there to die " draco Snapped before he jerked away from harry easily as he had loosened his grip and stormed out of the apartment taking his coat with him.

Harry huffed in annoyance, rubbing his hand over his face, swearing in himself and kicking the chair nearby in guilt and anger.

Despite living in the same apartment, harry didn't see draco at all for at least a week or more until harry was returning very late from work and wanted to silently sneak in after having thought the entire way back home how to makeup to draco when he realised he didn't had to when he saw draco sitting in the balcony with all the door's open..

" you could've at least shut the door. The entrie apartment will be cold now " harry cautiously said as he approached draco and Stood by the door.

Draco sniffed Before he mumbled a soft Apology and within a second harry realised something was wrong and went into the balcony where draco was now standing.

" hey, you alright ?" Harry asked as he carefully placed his palm over Harry's shoulder

" yeah- just something at work " draco mumbled turning away from harry.

" hey hey hey, it's alright, you can talk to me if you want"

" yeah like you'd want to listen " draco scoffed dabbing his face with a tissue.

" of couse I will. Why wouldn't I ?" Harry asked frowning.

" why would you ?" Draco questioned back

" well- i- because I do care and there shouldn't be a reason why not to " harry raised his shoulder before dropping again.

Draco looked at him for a moment before he looked away, chewing the insides of his cheeks.

" you don't have to. I understand. I just want you to know I'm here " harry said softly tilting his head so he knew Draco saw him through the corner of his eyes.

Harry Stood with him for a few minutes in silence until he understood that perhaps he wanted to be alone and decided to step back inside.

" I lied "

" what do you mean you lied ?" Harry asked as he turned around and stood next to draco again with his hands on the railings, watching him..

" I lied about what upset me. It's not my work. It's my parents " draco side glancing at harry.

" oh " harry Only replied

" they sent me a letter that they took down my name from the final will. So I'm well not going to get the manor "

" so you were crying because you don't get the manor ?" Harry pursed his lips to control the little laugh wanting to escape his lips.

Draco shook his head, in " I can't believe I even tried " and he stepped off the balcony to go back inside

" I'm kidding, obviously " harry stopped him, holding out his wrist from going.

" just trying to lighten your mood " harry shrugged. Draco looked at him nonchalantly for a moment before breathing out and standing next to harry again.

"so they took your name off the will ? What else ?" Harry asked as he leaned on the railing watching draco.

" it's-" he breathed " it's not about the manor or any other thing. I stopped caring about that a long time ago, it's just, after all this time I thought they'd accept me. And-" he bit the inside of his lip, closing his eyes " they still don't "

Harry's gaze softened and he spoke up " they probably never will and you'll have to live with it even if it's hard "

" I know but it's just- their acceptance matters the most to me even if I don't say it out loud but It hurts sometimes knowing that I can't stop caring. First they abandoned me, then disowned me from the joint account at gringotts, sold the cottage house under my name and the last thing I had left- they took my name off that. It's like they're doing everything possible to make it believable that I- I just- never existed , like simply erasing it " draco's eyes sparkled with tears and harry watched as draco tore down his walls unknowingly and only then harry approached a simple physical touch of holding his hand over the railing.

" your existence is with you draco. They're all just papers. Your life or your name or anything about you isn't decided by a piece of paper. Hell I'm the hottest bisexual in Britain by the witch weekly and I can bet my ass that I've seen hotter but it's just a paper "

Draco chuckled and harry gave him a smile.

" I know it upsets you and I understand what losing a family is like but you can always create your own family " harry contagiously smiled

" I'm gay potter " draco rolled his eyes with a smile.

" not the actual reproduced family. I mean your friends, they can be your family. It's time you choose your family, who doesn't take away a manor from you "

Draco smiled softly " but it still hurts"

Harry stepped closer to him looking him in the eye " it always will, but one day you're going to look at the whole thing and be like I still have a family and much better one infact"

" you really think so ?" Draco asked

" I know so " harry whispered smiling.

They stared at each other long enough until they realised how close they had been standing in that small balcony and harry cleared his throat to break the moment of unusual staring.

" you wanna stay out here for a while. I'll grab the blankets?" He asked

Draco opened his mouth to deny but instead he nodded with a smile and harry quickly went in to fetch the blankets and pillows with something to eat and joined draco back in the balcony..

" wait, you just came back from work, aren't you tired ?" Draco finally asked

Harry shook his head shrugging " I'm good " and they settled into the area with his back supported on the glass, sitting close enough..

" you're not always an asshole then " draco teased as they opened the packet of chips and sipped some butter beer..

Harry chuckled " well yeah " and he took some chips from the packet.

After moments of eating in silence draco finally turned to harry again and mumbled a small thanks.

" you don't have to thank me" harry replied looking back at Draco and keeping his gaze still at him.

" listen I'm sorry about the other day. I was just angry and you sort of boiled me a little and it just-"

" it's alright. I forgive you " draco gave harry a tender side smile and harry smiled back equally tender.

" can I kiss you ?" Draco asked after having stared at each other long enough to know that kissing was what was left.

" do you really want to ?" Harry asked looking at Draco's lips wanting to do the same.

" yes " draco mumbled as he leaned closer to harry.

" this changes everything draco" harry whispered when they were Only an inch apart, breathing in small breaths..

" I know. I want to " draco mumbled..

Harry bought his hands to draco's face, stroking his cheeks " are you absolutely sure ? I don't want you to regret this next morning "

" will you ?" Draco asked looking in Harry's eyes as a confirmation.

" I won't " harry replied as his heart beat More loudly.

" I won't either " draco mumbled and before Harry could've further asked anything else, he kissed him over the lips, sweet and slow at first then escalating to it becoming a need, leaving them both panting.

" you really are sure ?" Harry panted as they separated for air..

Draco rolled his eyes straddling harry, cupping his face " you ask me one more time and I'll make you question your entire life harry" and he kissed harry again tugging at his hair as harry encircled his arms around Draco's Waist pulling him closer, leaning his head upwards to kiss him more thoroughly..

And they remained there as Long as the night was still young, kissing each other, panting each other's breath, fighting for air, for Dominance and moaning. Just there, in the moment.

I understand I didn't necessarily made harry and draco already having feelings for each other but it seemed nice for a change to go with their flow.

(I don't know if literally anyone notices but my writing style varies a lot, personally not liking recently what I've been writing tho )

300 followers appreciation dialogue Prompt requests open

Angst prompt requests open

Am I supposed to know what I'm supposed to feel except somewhat light !? What did you put in this ?!!??!

@drarrymicrofic prompt: paper (hopeful ending)

Malfoy stood stock still in the middle of the busy courtroom, hands in the pockets of pressed black trousers, his sharp features distant and unreadable. Harry felt like he was approaching a statue in a museum, with everyone hurrying by casting appraising glances at the art on display.

Until Malfoy’s head turned just enough to meet Harry’s eyes, a flash of recognition, then cold, grey and unfeeling. Harry swallowed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a familiar length of wood.

Grey eyes dropped to the hawthorn wand in Harry’s hand, as Harry held it out between them.

The corner of Malfoy’s lip twitched. He slowly removed his hands from his pocket, taking the wand with what Harry could have sworn was gratitude. Malfoy pocketed it, hesitated, then held out a hand to shake.

Of all the things that had happened to Harry in the last few weeks, this seemed to shake him more than anything. He reached out and grasped Malfoy’s hand, giving it a gentle shake.

Malfoy squeezed his hand, a little, those thin lips ticking up in the barest flicker of something. He nodded once, and muttered, “Harry.”

Harry’s hand felt cold as Draco released him, clenching into a fist to hold onto the warmth. Draco turned and walked away, disappearing out of the courtroom, leaving Harry to feel like the sculpture that had taken Draco’s place, a frozen display for the curious passersby.

He looked down, his neck creaking, and opened his hand, warmed by its grip on a tiny, folded piece of parchment.

***

When he was finally allowed to rest, Harry didn’t leave his house for a month.

He slept for twelve hours at a time and still woke plagued with nightmares. He curled up in an armchair and stayed there for so long, staring out the window, the stiff velvet cushion became concave. He didn’t eat or shower unless Kreacher goaded him into it with plentiful insults. He didn’t talk to his friends more than he absolutely had to.

He unfolded and refolded a tiny piece of parchment, over and over, by the light of the grimy window. He slept with it clutched in his fist; the only proof that the nightmares weren’t real, that it was really, truly over.

That something had changed.

***

By fall, he felt a bit like a person again.

He went to work at Hogwarts, teaching first years how to fly, and helping with the rebuilding efforts. Keeping his hands busy.

When they inevitably weren’t busy, they were in the pocket of his hoodie, fingering a tiny folded parchment, the creases touch-worn and soft.

***

He spent Christmas at the Burrow, trying to keep his head above water. It was all he could do not to drop into a panic, or a spiral, or more of that awful numbness, just to escape all of the grief and guilt.

His fault.

When he went to his pocket for the comfort, the parchment wasn’t there, and this time, he really did panic. He crawled around the floor, searching under the furniture and between the sofa cushions and tracing his steps around and around the house, until Hermione stopped him with a firm hand on his shoulder.

She held up a folded piece of parchment, worn and discoloured, with a worried, knowing look in her eye. Harry released a heavy breath of relief as he took it from her—how long had he been holding his breath?

What would he have done if he couldn’t find it? Was it real if he wasn’t holding it in his own hand?

***

Spring brought with it a buzz of excitement. Anticipation.

The parchment barely held its folds; it existed in a small crumple, most of the time. Harry didn’t mind, as long as it existed.

His restless fingers traced the smudged, faded purple ink, in the privacy of his own quarters. Held a quill, imagining fingers slender and pale and smooth instead of tanned and rough and scarred. Nicked a fresh piece of parchment, and copied the words over and over, trying and failing to match the elegant script.

Trying and failing to decipher every thought in the smoothed depressions, in the colour of the ink, in the spacing of the looping lines. Trying and failing to pull it all apart, piece the fibers and pigments back together into a human, who could answer his unending questions.

***

The door to the Hog’s Head clapped shut behind him, keeping out most of the June heat.

Harry’s stomach roiled with nerves, his fist clenching so hard around crumpled parchment, he worried it might disintegrate in his palm, slip through his fingers like ash.

He sat down at the table, decisive and sure and nervous and so curious he felt out of his mind with it.

Draco looked up from the journal he’d been writing in, curling purple ink sweeping across parchment; a crisper, lighter colour than the one in Harry’s hand. As his hands lifted, the pages fell to the beginning, half of the first page torn out. Draco snapped the cover shut, staring at Harry in disbelief.

“I didn’t think you’d—”

“Will you let me, too?” Harry blurted. Draco blinked, his gaze turning warm and hopeful as comprehension dawned on his face. He cleared his throat, fiddling with the quill in his hand. Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off it, the shape of Draco’s fingers around it. Familiar, different—nails painted deep plum.

“Yes, Harry,” Draco answered, gentler than Harry had expected. “I will.”

Harry had never felt so much relief at once. As if a door he’d been trying to see through had finally opened, showing him a future of infinite possibilities, endless new beginnings, chances upon chances.

He opened his sore fist over the table, letting what remained of the parchment peel off his sweaty palm and fall between them.

“Then let’s try.”

Draco grinned, setting down his quill, smoothing open the note with two careful, shaking fingertips.

If you’ll let me try again - 5 June, 1999, Hog’s Head.

“And keep trying,” Draco agreed.

IT'S HERE. THE MASTER LIST WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, IT'S HERE

Masterpost prompts

Yours, forever

Strawberries and Cigarettes

With you, anywhere, everywhere

Kiss your scars

The Locket

You & I, it's everything

Neck Kisses

Dandelions

The fight of the stars

Come back to me

Can we stay forever

Would you?

I've fallen for you

They don't know about us

On purpose

Love me tonight

On the falling star, sequel: the light of a thousand falling stars

We'll figure it out

If one second is our forever

Our soft epilogue

I'll Hold Your Stars

Not everything has to be Malfoy-ish

Say it again, say it again and I swear I'll never stop you

You're safe with me.

After the autumn part 2

Dialogue prompt 29 requested by @sunflowerishdolphin On request by anonymous and @onomtonks | TW- hurt Comfort | slow burn | mild Angst |

" would it ever stop hurting ?"

He had ruined himself, aged, wasted away in the hopes of finding the answer to it but with grace came failure, the inability to find a response. Spent his days staring at the empty side of the bed, he had wondered what would have happened if he never left but what to dwell upon what's lost right. Right ?

He remembered the day he met him again at the DMLE office and how he had refused to even meet the eyes, how ashamed was he ? Or how inconsiderate was he ? Or how forgetful was he, ignorant too maybe. When he refused to meet the eyes, harry didn't either, it was a childish payback he wanted him to pay the debt of.

But left the log in the burning fire, the feeling of hollowness had refused to fill since the night he left and now seeing him around the workplace it dug a little deeper and nothing worked with the heart clenching but the well act of pretend, of concealment he had mastered at.

Months progressed in denial to meet his eyes, talk to him, to acknowledge him but when finally he talked with him again he feared he couldn't let a ritual come in being once again, he couldn't allow his heart to yearn for more after those little conversations he had when he smoked. He couldn't allow his heart to become what it had been 4 years ago. And he decided to force himself to stop, to stop going to the rooftop just to be in Draco's presence, just to see him but the look on Draco's face when he passed by the floor harry was smoking on by accident, he couldn't resist but feel guilty of having left Draco alone on the rooftop. But he was frozen to his spot, against the railing, even the cigarette on his lips was frozen, he couldn't stop Draco, he couldn't Explain him because he never went after him just like all of the times he didn't and all he thought of was what if he had, what if today he had, what if he had ran after Draco that night 4 years ago. What if ?

Harry soon realised it didn't matter because just like that night Draco didn't stay anymore, he didn't come by anymore, he didn't wait for Harry anymore and Maybe it was Harry's fault. And he would waste himself again, watching the smoke take more of his breath, his heart, his soul away. It was Metaphorical why Harry started smoking, irony infact maybe that if he smoked Maybe it'd stop hurting, the twinge in his heart would cease, that if he approached death more quickly then maybe it'd hurt less but 3 cigarettes a day or 20, he'd always fall asleep every night with only a thought of what if he had ran after him when he realised that draco was standing on the doorstep watching harry. He Never quite understood why didn't he ever stop Draco, why couldn't he had just not lied awake with hollowness caving in, why did he breathed in an empty bed when he heard the front door shut, why didn't he step off the bed, why didn't he never contacted Draco after that even when he was on speedial. Harry wished to find answers but never reached closer to finding the answer.

Or maybe it was an act again to ignore the plausible answer because he too like Draco had been Afraid of loving. What an irony it had been, one had stayed because he was afraid of love, other had left because he too was afraid of love. It was like one coin with only heads or just tails.

But as Autumn had advanced harry realised he had slowly started vanishing his act of ignorance, that he didn't wanted to ignore and watching Draco from a distance when draco had put on the act of ignorance became another habit. He watched as Draco's wardrobe filled more with maroon sweaters and brown and black boots with long black trench coats and the most frequently worn white sweater he vaguely remember he had seen somewhere. He couldn't keep his eyes off once he had seen him smile at the little dandelion Blooming at his window sill, it had been by mistake he had walked by his office when he had seen him smiling, touching smoothly the dandelion that bloomed at the oldest of times. Harry had stopped only for a moment as he retained in his memory the charm of his smile before he walked away smiling to himself. How could he resist him any longer ? How could he pretend that, that man still didn't make him yearn more ? How could he ? And just in those yearning, Harry found himself scheduling his days to pass by Draco at every possibility, like he knew Draco would walk through the main gates at 2:47 exactly everyday after his lunch and that he'd stop by the library and return the book just before he left for home and the time he came in and harry made sure he would pass by Draco, just so he knew he saw him.

But Maybe Draco had figured or maybe it was just usual loneliness that has casted him that draco found himself going on a single date with Calvin.

Harry didn't digest it well and realised that crossing by Draco in Teenage attempts would never fill the void of seeing him with another man and he smoked 5 cigarettes in a row very later than his usual time but just then the man in the long trench coat with White sweater had Walked in and halted in his steps when he saw Harry." I'm leaving anyways " harry gritted as he blew another breath of smoke with scrunched up face.

" it's alright " Draco whispered as he stood by the railing watching

Draco had glanced only once in amusement when he pointed out " that's your 6th cigarette. Everything alright ?"

Harry scoffed, smoking " I haven't known if anything had been alright in ages "

Draco didn't chose to reply. He didn't know what to reply.

Perhaps Harry had enough with himself, with Draco that he found himself questioning one thing he never thought he'd ever get a chance to ask " why'd you leave ?"

" what ?" Draco asked in confusion

" that night, why'd you leave ?" Harry asked again as he leaned against the railing watching Draco with a furrowed face.

Draco gulped, blinking " dwelling on past doesn't do one any good "

"I know but I'm curious, I want to know. Why'd you leave ?" Harry questioned.

Draco cleared his throat meeting Harry's eyes after long moments of hesitation " i don't know "

Harry rolled his eyes, scoffing and turning around to face the city " liar "

" you're lying because you know you were Afraid " harry spoke clenching his jaw.

Draco didn't speak, he didn't know how to or what to respond, he couldn't even if he wanted to.

" you know if there's someone I hate more than you, it's me " harry spoke after a long pause.

Draco frowned " why ?"

Harry sighed as he looked down putting out his cigarette against the wall " because that night when you left I stayed. I watched you walk away that night and when I should've left that night, I'm still stuck there. Because when I should've moved on, I didn't-Because I didn't stop you like I should have. Because the time have turned and I'm still locked up in that apartment with the memory, sense of you leaving. You left Draco, but I- I Never really left, I'm still there and I hate myself more Because I am still there when you're here "

Draco could only stare at harry as he felt himself at lost of words. If harry had watched him walk away that means he didn't try to stop him, that meant he accepted the fate of losing Draco, that meant he accepted Draco leaving him.

" I should hate you Draco, I should " Harry Turned to Draco in soft breaths " but I can't. I can't bring myself to hate you, ever"

Harry stared at Draco just like he was but none dared to speak another word. The thoughts that should've ran wild in their heads had deceased, stopped, frozen in their synapses. Their heads were empty but their hearts weren't, they both were beating with the same rhythm, same melody, same velocity but the chosen silence wasn't broken in the trance of gazing at each other.

" If I walk away today would you stop me ?" Draco was the first to speak up after having watched Harry long enough for the Blue sky to turn purple, just locked in the moment.

Harry shook his head " staying is your choice, as leaving is "

And this time Harry walked away, clutching his coat tighter to his body and the knot in his throat twisting. Maybe it wasn't Love but It could've been love if they had let it be, or Maybe it was love but it was never acknowledged but today nothing stopped Harry from walking away anymore even if it was love, how could he not, this time leaving was his choice.

But maybe it wasn't fair to him, to Draco, to Autumn, to spring, to April, to November, to this day because Draco showed up at Harry's office, raggedly breathing like he had been running 10 miles just to catch a train that was bound to leave just the next minute.

" staying is my choice, so is leaving but keeping me is yours. So Here I am, if you'll keep me because I want to keep you, even if you walk away "

Harry blinked as he dropped the file on the table and paced across the table, rapidly . He stared at Draco until his breathing came to normal and harry fought with his inner conscience, himself, before he leaned and wrapped his arms around Draco.

" I'll keep you "

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Hey darling, how are you doing ? I'm Only left with one last request of yours. hope you enjoy @sunflowerishdolphin

After the Autumn

Dialogue Prompt- 29. Love isn't supposed to hurt this badly | TW- ANGST | HURT COMFORT | EMOTIONAL ( I guess )

It was a defense mechanism, to shield himself from any upcoming events or actions that might Rip him apart or leave him fragile, to prevent the future heart breaks. It was all a wicked game; part of self preservation to not fall and not to feel bad when he got out of it. The thing was if he didn't protect his heart then he would have nothing of his own and he was afraid of loving. When growing up he was embedded that love leaves you hollow, you have the tendency to defy love ever in future, not necessarily of course but it plays a major role in not allowing yourself to love. He was taught and learnt that love was for weak hearted, for fragile and vulnerable people and not for someone like him but over the time it changed into he understood he didn't deserve love.

And so just like that he left the dark apartment that one late night after he had felt his heart rapidly beating causing a horrendous stampede in his chest, he left him, he abandoned him.

And he didn't return with only glance behind, a single flicker of hope burning until it extinguished.

But like all the dry, shredded trees that grows in forest becomes alive one day with just the little of sunshine after the Autumn, he met him again, 4 years later when he had subtly walked into work and was introduced to the newest member of the DMLE.

" Draco, meet harry potter, of course you must know him, all the rivarly I've heard of too " and the words had left him frozen.

Draco refused to look up from where he was looking at his desk because he never knew how to, how could he had looked up and watch the man he had abandoned in the apartment because he was Afraid he was falling in love with. He didn't dare but he heard in silence the Chuckles and stories told.

Robard might've stayed there for a few more minutes telling him about harry but all he could think of was the past, the horrors thay hurled within him with it but when they Walked out through his door, out into the hallway, draco finally lifted his gaze, harry didn't turn around to see him, he didn't.

Where had the months flown since harry joined, draco never really realised. Harry had became everyone's friend, a nice colleague, a good host and yet draco hadn't spoken one word, nor had harry and for some obscure reasons harry didn't try to initiate anything either, he didn't even try to acknowledge his presence or his absence as though he didn't care anymore but draco was bothered because he wanted harry to be angry with him, to yell at him, to give me stone hearted look, to look at him in anyway except as strangers.

He waited months for harry to snap until he assumed harry just didn't care enough to bother with draco anymore, even a little, who would but it hurt draco somewhere that harry was pretending that they didn't have a history or that harry had simply forgotten which draco was Afraid of because harry was the best he ever had, in everything.

" enjoying work ?" Draco finally initiated reluctantly while he was in the office library in the same aisle as him.

" I am, thank you" harry gave him a firm smile before he left the aisle and never returned. Draco sighed, hitting his head against the bookshelf.

And they didn't talk again and it was somehow leaving draco feeling hollow. He would see across the room and harry wouldn't even bothered to look at draco, not so much so even a glance at him or he didn't even try to talk or he didn't even try to hate him, it was like draco didn't mean anything to him and as much draco should've loved that, he didn't. He was left feeling upset, sad and Empty like harry was scooping his heart out and keeping it with himself. All draco could think of was unimaginable unrealistic scenario's that harry obliviated himself, all the memories with draco and it hurt more it should've.

But Draco would question " isn't this what he wanted ? For harry to forget him ?" But maybe he thought he wanted that but it hurt more everytime he'd look at harry he was reminded of the steps he took out of his apartments hoping that harry would realise draco wasn't in the bed and would run and stop him. But harry never did, even in his dreams, nor in nightmares.

And then as if with autumn came with a different aura harry had whispered something to draco when they were standing on the roof of the office building enjoying the soft breeze with Draco retaliating about his past.

"pardon ?" Draco frowned

" I asked, you want a cigarette ?" Harry repeat puffing out smoke from between his lips in The most elegant ways possible.

" I don't smoke, sorry " draco shrugged. Harry nodded frowning taking another drag then turning to draco, leaning against the railings.

" I didn't used to " harry said

" then why did you start ?" Draco asked.

Harry looked at him long enough as though he was conveying him an answer before he shrugged and took another drag.

" you don't talk much " it was a not a question, not an answer but a statement. Draco didn't talk much.

Draco gave him a little side smile before he stared ahead at the metropolitan city replying " I like the silence "

Harry nodded and he didn't speak up. He didn't even say a good-bye after he was done smoking, he just like the smoke, left without a scene, without a residue except for the ashes and the burnt cigarette put out against the wall now lying on the ground. Draco watched that burnt out cigarette until the last of the sparks had died and he too walked in, an unsettling feeling whirled again inside of him.

Draco met harry there 3 more times with little conversations until in unknown ways he became addicted to wanting to meet harry there for small conversations but after the third time no matter how long draco stayed there, no matter how often he came to the roof, he didn't meet harry again as if he purposely didn't come to the roof anymore yet draco stood there over the roof everyday waiting for harry to show up at least one of these days.

He never showed up and it was only in mistake when draco wad walking down the wrong floor when he saw harry smoking in the balcony of that floor. Harry watched as draco swiftly passed by with a pained look on his face but harry didn't dare stop him or tried to give any explanation or even say a word. He let him watch, he let him go.

This time draco knew he was repaying his debt for the sin he committed ages ago when he abandoned harry. Harry didn't meet draco or didn't acknowledge or treated him as a stranger because he knew it hurt draco. He knew that draco would be hurt if harry didn't bother him and so he never bothered. Draco didn't bother harry anymore either,he couldn't even if he wanted to.

In that little glance at harry, draco had met with revelations that his self preservation never really worked,that his defense mechanism to save his heart, to shut his feelings never really worked, he was stupid to had walked out of the apartment that night because draco had inevitably already fallen for harry long ago and the more impending truth was he never fell out because he never knew how to. The history was a proof that you can fall in love but had no one taught how to fall out and draco suffered contagiously in the living history. He knew when he saw harry that he was never going to fall out and he would perhaps never understand why but he knew he understood the answers of all these four years that had been Buried somewhere deep inside him. Why he didn't date anymore, why didn't he find anyone attractive anymore, why didn't he ever meet someone intriguing, why didn't he ever had an answer for the question if he was ever in love with harry and the answer lied here, he was, is and will be in love with and it was something he would have to live with it until he learns to unlove harry potter.

"Love was never supposed to hurt this badly" draco whispered to himself; his eyes watered with the reflection of the growing metropolitan city.

( Might do part 2 on request. )

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( Also my regrets and apologies for having been inactive and missing 3 updates in a row )