Thought-to-speech Technology That Gets Hacked By People Who Want Text Messages From Their Pets While

Thought-to-speech technology that gets hacked by people who want text messages from their pets while they are at work, only to immediately regret it because their pets text them the dumbest things, and the only way to get any kind of a clear image of what's going on is texting the other pets for cross-reference.

Like you get a text from your dog going "END IS HERE DOOM IS COMING URGENT URGENT SEND TEXT G-D HAVE MERCY, HUMAN COME HOME IMMEDIATELY", (you have no idea why the text translator has decided that your dog is jewish, but that doesn't feel important enough to look into or change) and before you do, you text the cat like "what's going on?"

And the cat replies "sunshine is turned off, window is cold >:C" so okay that's a clue. You've got a monitor lizard that doesn't do much monitoring, but will reply with whatever the lizard is feeling right now if you text "?" first.

"hwrmbglhlr the earth rumbles are sexy", replies the lizard. Okay, so dog panic, no sunshine, and the lizard is sensing vibrations. Oh, there's a rain storm overhead. Fuck's sake.

unfortunately getting called “pretty boy” does make your brain burst into flames. especially if it is followed or preceded by a little kiss

hey. the celebrities and corporations are going to try tumblr. you may want to drive them off the site, or find them amusing, ie “well THIS one can stay.” they may try to engage with the culture. they may do their research. DO NOT ENGAGE. do not bother. don’t fucking acknowledge them. don’t mess with their heads. don’t reply to them as a bit. let them think this site is a lost cause. let them fizzle out and die

what are the thoughts on him? is he good? bad? silly? goofy? yass?

News reporters b liek

“Jeff is reporting live from the eye of the hurricane, how’s it going Jeff?”

*garbled wind noises*

“Wind sure is crazy out there huh?”

*Jeff has blown away*

skeleton armies of the undead are only Like That because they've been rudely awoken from slumber and forced to complete random tasks they have no personal interest in. like you've never awoken in your comfy cozy grave/bed in a vicious bloodthirst over being forced to go to work. hypocrite