Some Hilarious Writing Prompts

Some hilarious writing prompts

Alright so a few days ago I decided to look for some hilarious text posts on tumblr and I laughed so much I just had to write some prompts! (is possible to be customized) (Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

*1. Do I look like I give a fuck? - *2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you. - *3. Me? Overreacting? Probably. - 4. I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m aggressively passive. Don’t mess with me kiddo. I’ll be right here. I’ll fucking forgive you. - 5. A: Whar are you doing? B: Avoiding. A: Avoiding what? B: Everything. - *6. This was impulsive. Probably shouldn’t have done it. WHO CARES? - *7. You’re really cute and it’s ruining my life because I think about kissing you all the time. - 8. A: It’s okay, I’m not mad.     A (5 mins later): Actually? You can go to Hell. - 9. I hate people who get personally offended when I’m in a bad mood, likeI’m not mad at you Susan (name), I’m mad at the world! - 10. A to A: Bitch, if you actually applied yourself in like…anything, you’d be dangerous ,damn my lazy ass. - 11. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but there’s a lot of it. - 12. Not to dictate your life, but drop your shitty friends. - 13. That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it. - 14. Why am I better than everyone? Jesus, life’s hard. - 15. A: How do you make someone holy? B: You beat the hell out of them. - 16. A: I’m amazed of how insignificant we actually are. B: Not me, I’m important. - 17. If anyone can do it, then someone who isn’t me can do it. - 18. In the old days of one week ago things were different. Now look at us - slightly older than we were back then, other clothes and such. - 19. I’m not going to claim that I know everything, I’m simply going to act like it. - *20. You have to “see it to believe it”, so as long as I’m not looking I don’t have to believe in anything. - 21. I’m visualising a powerful mystical energy at the moment. - 22. If I don’t learn anything from my mistakes then I don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place. - 23. Why the hell is there always this one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder? No offence though. - 24. A: If you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, just remember that I, am not. B: THanks. A: You’re welcome. - 25. I wanna do dirty stuff with you like farming. - 26. A: What are you reading? B: 10 tips for beutiful hair the Government doesn’t want you to know. A: wHAT the fuck? - 27. A: I’m tired of these constant near-death experiences. B: (opinional) don’t be a whiny bitch, bitch. - 28. Man, how many eye contact until date? - 29. God has a favourite comedy tv series and it’s called “my life”. - 30. Sometimes all you can say is “yikes” and then just on the fuck on. - 31. Why is everyone having their mid-life crisis at like 19? - 32. It’s a beutiful day to give me money, honey. - 33. Women aren’t complicated, you’re just dumb. - 34. Well this social situation isn’t going the way I acted it out in the shower. - 35. No offence, but my favourite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful. - 36. I’m actually pretty cool if you give me like 5 tries to get it right. - 37. Today I’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic. - 38. Be prapared to add a cute emoji next to my name in your contacts list because you’re gonna love me. -

*39.A: Babe, I’m not grabbing your boob, I’m grabbing your heart. B: That’s my right boob though. A: Babe. -

40.Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough. - 41.What makes me feel like a failure the most is when I can’t remember the answet to a Harry Potter trivia question. - 42.I hate it when I’m really nice…And then people are just not that nice? Like what the fuck. - 43.Don’t look at me in that tone of voice. - *44.Is your name candle? Because I wanna blow you. - *45. So, was that just awkward eye contact, or were we checking eachother out?-

46.You know, having feelings is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch. -

47.My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense. -

48.I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I’m actually angrier. -

49.I ship me and that boat. -

50.Listen. I did mean to make you upset and I do think your opinions are shit. But you’re still my friend so it’s okay. -

51.Because my two moods are like glitter and death. -

*52.My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee! -

53.If I go to Hell I’m gonna constantly torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or is it just me. -

54.Oh my God are you seeing this shit? -

55.Graduated top of my class from Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery.

- 56.A (shows up at your door 10 years after we had an argument): aND ANOTHER THING

- 57.I’ll betray all of you in the Hunger Games.

- 58.Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend, the dawing realization that I fucked up real bad.

- 59.I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just life in general.

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60.I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.

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61.Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you, but then blush when I think about it later.

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62.You know when your hair is greasy and it makes you feel so bad about yourself? And your entire life. Everything is awful because my hair is greasy.

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63.True love is having a crush even when he got a haircut you know.

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64.Emotions? You know, I just push my tear back into my eye and tell it “Not now, you little bastard!”.

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65.Are we gonna hold hands, or what?

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66.My soul leaving my body, but with one of those slide whistle sound effects.

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67.A: I love you.

B: What if I got a bowl cut?

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68.I should really stop planning my future around being rich or famous…but I can’t.

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69.I’m aggressively thibking about having sex with you and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. Do you know hOW hard that is?

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70.My opinion is no.

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71.Did you fall from heaven, because so did Satan.

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72.What to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch.

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73.Which is messier - my life or my hair?

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74.How can you face the problem when the problem is your face?

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75.Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to know wHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

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76.Read a girl who dates books.

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77.My hands are cold let me put them in your pants.

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78.I’m sorry, you must be at least level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

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79.My therapist once told me that I have this obsession with seeking revenge…we’ll see about that.

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80.You have lips, I have lips…interesting.

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81.Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on?

/PART TWO/

/170715 ; a Temporary side note: please for the moment don’t send me requests with the numbers that have a (*). I’ve received so many requests with those, I’m starting to run out of ideas :D Thank you ! / - persuasivus

But imagine...

Sad gryffindors trying to cheer up by telling themselves over and over again that they are brave and that they will get through it. That they will never give up and that they know that they can do it. Sitting in the common room and starring into the fire , reminding themselves that after every night comes a new dawn. They would snuggle themselves into the big, red, fluffy blanket that lie around during winter time and wait for the house elves to tell them that they do a good job. In return the elves would beam at them , get the some hot cocoa and scones and tell them what a kind soul they are. That they can cry, that they don’t have to be strong all the time even though that it what their house is known for.

Helpless hufflepuffs that are curled up in the herbology room close their eyes to inhale the soothing scent of flowers and herbs and spices. Magical plants that shower them in golden, flying drops and wipe away their tears. Fireflies would light up the dark in the room and the flowers would start to glow. The old plants would start to hum and to sing and make the pain of being at a loss go away. Hufflepuffs being comforted by they steady pulse of nature breathing in and out. Hufflepuffs showing their vulnerable side to magical flowers that would bury them in little, colourful pedals and tickle them to make them smile that beautiful smile again.

Clueless Ravenclaws . So when they have a block in their mind they accio their broom into their room and go for a flight just before the dawn. They are joined by testhrals and after the battle of hogwarts almost everyone can see them. They would be in the middle of the pack and be escorted to a safe place in the woods where they could sit down in silence and listen to the sounds of the forest. The creatures would lean into the pupils and comfort them with the presence. Ravenclaws being able to let go and fully relax and start thinking like a normal person again. The animals watching over them and making sure they get back safely.

Lonely Slytherins, when the pressure of making sure to always be the first and the best threatens to break them they sneak out of the castle at night and go down to the lake. They would sit in silence under the nightsky and stars and listen to the swapping of the waves. The merfolk would always watch them and when they deemed the time to be right they would swim to the students and take them by the hand, pull them into the water and swim with them. They would give them gillyweed and they could dive into the dark depths where mystical, magical creatures roamed and glowed and the squid would make sure that they are always safe and they would only be able to leave the lake when they were truly at ease and the voices in their heads were gone.

MAGICAL CREATURES BEING THERE TO HELP THE STUDENTS. MAGICAL BEAST BEING SWEETHEARTS AND CARING DARLINGS TO MAKE SURE THAT THESE TINY , LITTLE HUMAN BEINGS WOULD HAVE A BETTER LIVE THEN THEY HAD.

this is precious and im starting to have a crush on draco– oh wat

Dating Draco Malfoy Would Include

Draco Malfoy x Ravenclaw reader

Request: ( @riversoceanslakes1 ) What would it be like dating Draco Malfoy as a ravenclaw

MASTERLIST

So the first time you officially meet him is in fifth year and he’s sitting by himself in the library

And so you go up and ask if there’s a spare seat cause all the other tables are full

At first he looks annoyed that someone has interrupted him but when he sees your face he smiles and tells you to sit

You sit silently at opposite sides of the table until he askes you if you’re any good at transfiguration cause he just can’t get this spell right

And from then on you’d meet in the library on Thursdays at 4:30 at the table underneath the north facing window

Him asking you questions about the homework just so he has an excuse to talk to you more

And you know how smart he is so you know he knows this spell but you go along with it so you can talk to him more too

Playing footsie underneath the table

That one time you both reached for the same quill and your hands touched

Looking at him across the Hall at meal times, and then when he looks at you, blushing and looking away as if he hadn’t noticed you were staring

One day you don’t show up to your study session cause your friend is crying and he thinks you forgot about him

And the next day you find him and explain and tell him how sorry you are

And the whole time you are apologising you can see him staring at your lips

Then your backs against a wall and your tongues are intertwined

Telling Crabbe and Goyle to stop following you guys around, “unless you want to watch us make out for the next hour”

Being great friends with Pansy and laughing about how dramatic Draco can be

Him reading books to you when you’re tired or sad

Staring contests that end in deep kisses

Bickering over the stupidest of things

Him helping you focus when you go off on a tangent when studying

“But I need to know more about the five different types of sphinx”

“We were studying the Summoning Charm, how did you get onto sphinx’s?”

Wrapping your blue scarf around his neck in the winter when he insists it’s not cold but you can see him shivering

Plus it looks great with his eyes

Using the Prefects bathroom to your advantage

Nose kisses

Overly dramatic sighs

Being the only one who can make him smile when he’s feeling down

Usually by making funny faces

Kissing the backs of your hands even if they have ink stains on them

Games with Draco, Pansy, and Blaise where you have a shot of firewhisky whenever Theodore said ‘Quidditch’

Falling asleep in his arms and him whispering “I love you” softly into your ear

Him walking you to every class even though he’d be late for his

Challenging each other to eat Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans with a straight face

His parents think you’re great for him and just care that you make him happier than he’d ever been

Finding him crying in the girls’ bathroom one day with his sleeve rolled up showing his dark mark

Feeling hurt that he betrayed you, but also that he told a ghost before telling you

You stood by his side, disregarding the stares you got from everyone else

But it wasn’t the same, it hadn’t been the same since you found out

Distancing yourselves from one another, almost wishing you didn’t see him some days

But then the events of the Battle of the Astronomy Tower took place

And when you asked him if he killed Dumbledore he didn’t exactly say no

And that was it

Avoiding him at all costs during seventh year

But you couldn’t help remembering all those amazing times together

Staying during the Battle of Hogwarts

And Bellatrix having a special interest in wanting to kill you

She had backed you up to a wall and you were trapped

It was the same spot in the same corridor where Draco had first kissed you

And you thought you were going to die

But Draco saving the day

Spending more time together again after the war

Knowing that you never stopped loving him but not knowing if things could go back to the way they were

All you knew was that you loved him, and he loved you, and for now, that would be enough

Hermione, to Draco and Harry over a cup of coffee: I'm really glad you two have finally put your differences behind you. It's a relief to watch you both have a conversation without bickering.

Ron, laughing: It's a little weird though, right? Next they'll be getting friendship bracelets, or something.

Harry:

Draco:

Harry and Draco: *simultaneously pulls down their sleeves*

Star Gazing and Pick-Up Lines (Ravenclaw x Slytherin)

Slytherin, laying down on Ravenclaw's lap: The stars are so beautiful tonight

Ravenclaw: You know… all stars die.

Slytherin: No they don't.

Ravenclaw: Uh, yes they do?

Slytherin: They don't because you're— fuck it, i'm done with pick up lines. you're going to die with me in the future anyways

Accidents Happen (Draco x Ravenclaw Reader)

Requested by: @loveabledracolover

REQUEST HERE

Word Count: 2396

Warnings: Language, one death threat!

Summary: The reader is Ravenclaw and begins to fall for Draco Malfoy but hides it well. Draco also then begins to fall for the reader by accident. Then he speaks to Blaise about it.

A/N: UMM I might make a part 2 because I feel like I could do more with this? Please let me know if you want a part 2 and if you don’t then please tell me too lols <3

She annoyed him. He acerbated her. Every time his egocentric character came into the room, she felt a despiteful burning in her chest, for she was one that always fell victim to Draco Malfoy. He would find a different thing to taunt her for every day; usually however it came down to her being pureblood. This perplexed people; never would Draco insult somebody for being the same as himself, except for when it came to her. He would usually call her disgrace t purebloods, as she was not a Slytherin. She knew there was nothing more contemptible than he- she apprehended the way he walked around, a type of swagger in his walk. The way he would scrunch his face up at anybody who was not a student in Slytherin. Worst of all, she noticed how he treated muggleborn students at Hogwarts. The Ravenclaw girl was always filled with contravention when she heard the slander ‘mudblood’ fall from his lips. Many times had her companions had to restrain her from hexing the boy. She knew much about his family, she had cogitated his entire family and traced back his bloodline, and delved into their political beliefs. Needless to say, there had never been anybody that she disagreed with more.

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