It's So Funny To Me How Terfs Want Trans Men To Be Butch Lesbians So Bad And Then When We Are, But Still

it's so funny to me how terfs want trans men to be butch lesbians so bad and then when we are, but still trans, they throw a fit. like you wanna tell us that we're 'confused butch lesbians' sooooooooo bad but then when we do turn out to be butch lesbians, but also transmasc/trans men, it's a problem. cis butch lesbians only!!! like do they want us here or not, because some of us are here and staying here regardless of whatever mental gymnastics they're performing over there.

they tell us we're confused and that we don't know what we want, but it is they who are confused and have no fucking clue what they want

it's weird when someone draws gnc trans art and the replies are always filled with "why are you drawing trans people like this it only represents 1% of our community" 3 things 1. why are you entitled to the artist's vision 2. so what there's only 1% they should be represented and accepted and loved too lol? 3. maybe the artist is trans and gnc and you are annoying

after i came out as bi initially in my early 20s i suddenly began to question myself because i only found "Certain" women attractive. i began to doubt myself because on average i found myself being attracted to more men than women, and after some pressuring and bullying from my friends, i decided to identify as a strictly gay man instead for quite some time. and while i still AM a gay man and experience attraction to men & people in an achillean way, this did not change the fact that i still experienced attraction to women, and other people, for that matter.

after i got in touch with the lesbian community, this changed entirely. what i realized was that i'm not attracted to white cisheteronormative conventional beauty- what people tell us is beautiful about women is not what i find attractive. i find women who are willing to be themselves no matter what to be hot. i find women who don't care if they have big noses, crooked or missing teeth, strong jaws, facial/body hair, broad chests and shoulders, small or no breasts, narrow hips, fat rolls and big muscles attractive. i find women who embrace who they are to be attractive. and i especially find butch, gender non conforming, genderqueer and trans women attractive

it shouldn't matter what a woman looks like, but i've found that as i age, i like the way women look naturally. no matter if they're cis, trans, intersex, perisex, genderqueer or something else- womanhood itself is attractive. womanhood is a diverse and varied thing that deserves to be enjoyed and celebrated in its diversity. i couldn't put my finger on it, but while there are many conventionally attractive women i definitely find cute, the way that cisheteronormative white society defines what an "attractive" woman looks like just doesn't line up with how diverse and attractive women can be

there's nothing wrong with women who want to dress and look the way we deem what female beauty "should" look like. whether the person is insecure or just likes that look, this is an okay thing- we should never pressure or shame women who want to adhere to these aesthetics and concepts. and it's not a woman's job to be attractive for me, or anyone else. but i came back to accepting that i was bisexual once i realized that the diversity in womanhood is exactly what i love about and find attractive in women.

i love how diverse womanhood is. i love how unique and varied women can look, present and act. i DO love women and womanhood, i just had to allow myself to look beneath the surface and discover that there is much to love and find attractive in "ugly" women. humanity is too diverse to be shoved into narrow boxes of what defines attractiveness.

instead of obsessing over not centering men in lesbianism, you can just be a lesbian. ironically, all this 'non-man x non-man' and 'men can't be lesbians' shit centers men more than just acknowledging that, sometimes, men exist within lesbianism, and that doesn't mean that all lesbians must kiss men NOW.

hi, i love your blog ❤️ i was wondering if you could talk a little about bi lesbians? as a gnc nb genderfluid femme bi dyke(fag) i'm again and again heartbroken by the hate and exclusion we get from fellow lesbians and especially from fellow femmes and it SUCKS to always have to check someones bio in fear and to be constantly likened to terfs and fascists. thank you 💖

hello there, sure! this is a great ask

i've observed that too- specifically in the white cis femme community, there is a lot of hostility toward lesbians who are attracted to men and/or have slept with men. a lot of it stems from lesbian separatism and radfeminism- a lot of white cis femmes get wrapped up in that culture very easily, unfortunately

there's a lot of hostility toward male and transmasculine lesbians in the white cis femme community. i love cis femmes, but unfortunately many have fallen down the terf rabbit hole and believe that lesbian means woman attracted woman only, and it's unfortunate, because it's such a narrow view on lesbianism and leaves out most of the varied and complex relationships with sexuality and gender when it comes to lesbianism. unfortunately many white cis femme lesbians get wrapped up in believing that any expression of masculinity beyond androgyny or soft butch is too "aggressive" or "hostile".

a lot of people hold the belief that for whatever reason a lesbian is "tainted" once they've slept with a man, as though other lesbians will catch some type of contageous disease just by being near a lesbian who sleeps with men. it's really childish behavior- it's okay to not be attracted to men, but it's not a personal attack when another lesbian does find men attractive. it doesn't say anything about you- your partner's sexual identity doesn't have to line up 1:1 with yours in order to be legitimate

i know MANY lesbians who are attracted to men in some capacity or another and don't even consider themselves bisexual. for some people they acknowledge that attraction but don't consider it to be something that changes who they are, and this is an okay expression of this experience as well

bi lesbians have always been a part of the community, there are many photographs from events both recent and further in the past that show support for and acknowledgement of bisexual lesbians. dyke marches in particular have been very inclusive spaces for bi lesbians, and queer protests and pride meetups usually have a good number of bi lesbians among the crowd. it's a term that's been used for decades, and the example that i have readily available is a comic strip written by Alison Bechdel in 1999:

there's no reason why lesbian/sapphic/dyke attraction would be "cancelled out" by being attracted to men- one does not stop having a sapphic relationship with other people just because they find men attractive, especially considering that some men are lesbians, too. genderfluid and bigender people exist as well and it's okay for lesbians to be attracted to people with multiple genders

a lot of butches identify as both men and women and it doesn't make their partners not lesbians to be attracted to them. lesbian attraction is complex and there is a lot more to it than just being attracted to women. there's a lot of culture rooted in genderfuckery here, and even if a lesbian is attracted to a cis man, it doesn't matter. that's still okay. it doesn't 'cancel out' their lesbianism

some bi lesbians aren't even attracted to men, but rather a multitude of other genders. that doesn't make them not lesbians, either. you don't just stop being a lesbian just because you're attracted to multiple genders. it doesn't change anything about you, especially not the rest of your identity and your focus in life. for some, the people they're attracted to is very important and for others it's just a fact of life that isn't their primary focus

it doesn't make a woman or lesbian "straight" to be attracted to genders other than women

i hope that was what you were looking for! if you have any questions feel free to ask!

one of my pet peeves is monogender trans people agreeing that 'men can't be women' (because, well, they aren't men trying to be women and vice versa like how transphobes mean it) because while that is true in the case of being monogender it's not a universal experience to be a single gender in general.

Can monogender people please get it through their skulls that not all multigender people are genderfluid and it's possible to be more than one gender at a time