Im So Confused Right Now. Nothing Has Changed Except That I Am Wondering If I Could Unblock You And Be

I’m so confused right now. Nothing has changed except that I am wondering if I could unblock you and be ok. But I know I’m not over you and it still hurts sometimes so the time isn’t right to unblock you. I just miss you. Even though we didn’t talk really and you never liked any of my posts, I liked knowing that you might see them at least. Sometimes I feel pathetic. We’ll see what happens in time.

Dear crush,

I dreamt about my soulmate again last night. It’s been awhile but it just shows me that even though right now I’m hurting and struggling, everything is going to be okay and I will get over you. It will be so worth it in the end.

I saw something that said after a breakup wait 21 days and you should start to feel if you did the right thing and it should hurt less. I never dated you and only blocked you and it’s been a month. A full month. And I am still hurting just as much. And now I’m wondering if I did the right thing or not. I know I need to not talk to you but what’s the point of blocking you? To prove I could do it? To make you feel like you did something wrong? So you know you hurt me? I need to think some more.

Dear crush,

I just saw it was recently your birthday. Happy birthday. I wish I could tell you that. It makes me mad how sad I am that I missed your birthday. I’m also mad that I’m sad that I can’t just say happy birthday and be fine. I don’t want to break over this. It’s been a month since I blocked you and I thought I was fine. I wish I could just be there for certain things in your life. I miss you still and I hate myself for it. I hope you had a good birthday.

I feel so alone.

I feel so numb when I think about you now, I’d rather feel sad or something other than this emptiness.