.

Большие кошки тоже любят коробки.

Seriously, every time I try and picture dark!Newt, my mind simply turns to crack. Although I can see him being christened a Dark Lord by /accident/ - Newt's investigating some magical beast in a far-off country, comes across a bunch of poachers, and proceeds to soundly thrash them before waltzing away with a rare magical creatures. Except - the poachers retell the story about a Dark Lord who nearly killed them, they were lucky to escape with their lives! The rumor snowballs from there (cont)

(part 2) Stories of a Dark Lord start sweeping the continent as an oblivious Newt continues on - stories of a Dark Lord who commands the fiercest of beasts, who has no mercy on his enemies. And the stories grow in the telling, helped along by sightings of Newt with animals and how he takes down more poaching rings. They say there’s a new Dark Lord, drifting along the fringes of society, with no followers - a Dark Lord as of old, more interested in research and knowledge then conquest (cont)

(part 3). They say this is a Dark Lord all the more dangerous because he cares nothing for humanity, just for his own pursuits. Eventually, the rumor reaches Europe, reaches Theseus - who raises an eyebrow, and writes his brother a letter. Newt, meanwhile, is SO TERRIBLY EMBARASSED. He didn’t mean for the rumors to spread, he didn’t mean to - WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY’RE CALLING HIM A DARK LORD THESEUS, THESESUS, THIS ISN’T FUNNY! (cont)

(part 4). Thus, Newt Scamander becomes an unwilling (and very grumpy) Dark Lord. Who doesn’t actually use dark magic. …I now simply have the mental image of Newt facing off against Grindelwald, and Grindelwald peering at him in recognition, going “Wait a moment, aren’t you Lord - ” Newt just /burns/ red. “YES YES ALL RIGHT LET’S FIGHT ALREADY. Please?”

None of them realize that Newt is not, in fact, a Dark Lord, he is a magizoologist who loves animals far, far more than he values his own safety. He just also happens to be very talented at dueling. 

Theseus, meanwhile, just about busts a gut laughing. Newt won’t talk to him for weeks after. 

Friend: Wanna hang out tomorrow?

Me: I actually performed an Activity yesterday. Please wait the three day recovery period to submit another inquiry

Galata Tower 3D light show in Istanbul, Turkey. More interesting posts here: sixpenceee.com/tagged/world