... I Just .. Woke Up From An 18 Hour Nap Eye-

... i just .. woke up from an 18 hour nap eye-

Summer Heather Garden, California by Christopher Burkett

[7:32 PM] Renjun watches from the corner of the practice room as you laughed with your boyfriend Jaemin. Part of him regretted that he introduced the two of you, but a part of him was also glad to see you happy. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to smile.

The events of last night flashed in his mind, his drunken self devoid of all self-control. He couldn’t help the words coming out of his mouth until he finally let it slip that he’s been in love with you. Longer than Jaemin ever was.

“Please,” he begged, “don’t let this change anything between us. I know you love him. He deserves it.”

“Renjun…” you started, voice nearly cracking. But you had no idea what to say.

He let out an empty laugh at the mention of his name before planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “Forget about tonight. Forget about it. For me, ‘mkay?” he mumbled against your skin.

He realized he’d been staring for too long when he caught your eye. You held his gaze for a few moments, unable to look away.

Suddenly, you weren’t laughing. Whatever the joke Jaemin told wasn’t funny anymore. You couldn’t hear anything. Your eyes remained focus on Renjun on the other side of the room, a blunt pain blooming in your chest. Suddenly, you were the girl who has been deprived of the chance to fall in love with her best friend.

You’ve been seeing Renjun differently before Jaemin came. He’s always the one who’s there. He’s always been the one person who knew you the best. But you pushed all of those thoughts aside, thinking it could never happen, especially when he introduced you to his friend. It started out as a joke, but no one seems to be laughing now.  It’s cruel how neither of you realized that you felt the same way about each other. Now that you knew about it, it’s too late.

Renjun sensed the change in your mood. After all, he could read you even from a mile away. He knew he didn’t want to be the guy to ruin other people’s relationships, especially one that is shared by his two best friends. So he stood up to leave. Besides, he couldn’t bear to watch Jaemin kissing you all over anymore.

“I’m going,” he announced.

“Bye,” the others murmured lazily, still tired from the extensive routines of the day. He tried his best not to meet your eyes, looking past you at Jaemin who was too immersed in you to care.

Once Renjun was out the door and alone in the elevator, he let out a shaky breath. A single tear slipped from his eye. Quickly, he wiped it away. He was never one to cry, but he has never felt pain this way either. As corny as it may sound, you have been the source of happiness in his life. And though you are still best friends, he couldn’t help but feel like he’s losing you. Slowly. Completely.

His phone vibrated, a text from you reflected on the screen: smile, injunnie. :) have a safe trip home.

He couldn’t reply. He didn’t want to. He removed the notification from his lockscreen, revealing the photo of you sleeping on his shoulder that he took some months ago. A warm feeling flowed up his stomach to his chest, suddenly followed by… pain.

There’s one version of this reality, he thought, where you’ll send me an i love you, and i’ll guiltlessly send you one back. Sadly, that reality is not ours.

hey bro uhh ive been thinking about it haha wanna maybe kiss sometime? like for practice i mean aha like on the lips? noo jkjk haha just messing with u.. but i will if u want to, jk tho unless u want to haha

i just remembered one time in kindergarten i punched this girl i knew because we were drawing birds and she drew her bird with a human nose and mouth and it pissed me off so badly i went into like berserker mode

it looked like this