As Free As A Bird

as free as a bird

Thinking about how, when Cas was working with Crowley, only Dean believed in him. And he was so sure that Cas was innocent, and his only reasoning was, "It's Cas, man." He believed him with every fiber in his being, even when all the evidence was stacked against him. He didn't believe it until Cas admitted it to his face. He believed in Cas' innocence over Bobby and Sam, his surrogate father and brother, you know, the one person he loves most in the world. He wanted Cas to be innocent. He didn't want to have to face the prospect that the man he believed to be an angel, both literally and figuratively, wasn't 100% on their side. He wanted to believe that Cas had changed, and he did, but not all the way. One moment in particular sticks out to me, and it's when Dean confronts Cas, even before all this, and says, "What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one." And I think it's such a stab to the heart. He wanted Cas to be human, to feel things, and experience things that he hadn't before. He just wanted to believe in him.

[Sam, Dean and Cas are staying in some house temporarily while on a hunt]

Cas: There's a female woman at the door

Dean: (at Sam) Wh- why is he saying that? (Turns to Cas) Why are you saying that?

Cas looks at Dean blankly and motions to the door.

Sam looks at his watch as the doorbell rings.

Sam: Ooooh wait, that's probably for me.

Dean: (confusion)

Sam opens the door and accepts a package from a mail woman.

Dean and Cas look at each other

Dean: Wait... When we get deliveries, you're... You're thinking it's called the MALE-MAN!?

Dean doubles over, laughing

Dean: AND SINCE IT WAS A LADY YOU ASSUMED IT WOULD BE A FEMALE WOMAN!?

Castiel looks extremely confused

Cas: that's what you said the other day, though, I know I heard you right? Male man???

Sam: (sets down with his package, pointing at it and smiling) Mail, m a i l.

Dean is positively howling in the background.

i think that maybe my main problem with supernatural’s ending is how both cas and dean got these massive monologues in what were supposedly moments where they had limited time and sam didn’t get to say a single word in his 30 second death scene. i feel like the ending could’ve been improved had these moments been shorter.

like imagine cas’s death scene in 15x18 had it been shorter. for example, dean and cas are locked in and dean says pretty much what he says already, and cas just looks at him and says something like, “when jack died, i made a deal with the empty. when i experience true happiness, the empty will be summoned, and it will come and take me.” cas meets dean’s eyes and softly says, “i love you, dean.” and kisses dean, before turning to face the empty and being taken.

for dean, it would be fairly similar to canon, just a lot shorter. in my ideal scenario, he would die a different way - i’m imagining dean being bitten by one of the vamps as he kills it, and begging sam to kill him before he can turn. dean would still die on his feet, and could end the same way, with the forehead touch, just this time with a knife in dean’s abdomen.

for sam, I would want to change his ending completely, although it would make an ok ending to me if we don’t see anymore of him (up until he reunites with dean in heaven) after he leaves the bunker for the last time, as to leave his ending open. it would be nice to have eileen there with him, maybe even holding his hand as he walks out, to give an idea of where his life goes after leaving the bunker, to get rid of the blurry wife and the debate surrounding the rest of his life.

Dean misremembering the purgatory portal scene is altering my brain chemistry in so many ways. What do you mean Dean remembered it as him not being able to save Cas because he wasn't strong enough, but in reality Cas let go??? We know he remembers some things perfectly like when Cas went into the lake because he had nightmares about that, but how many other things does he misremember? Does he remember Mary dying? Does he remember all his fights with Cas? Does he remember all the times Sam died? This was such a missed opportunity to do more. They could've made Dean even more traumatized by having him misremember something for so long, and then him having to learn it was completely different and having a whole crisis about it.

*insert something to say here*